In the "Temple of the MoneyLenders" Pub, the publican is one Cameron Stout, serving a punter:
Cameron: Och! What would you like? Another pint of me own stout, flippin' heck! It's mental, och!"
Punter: "'Ang on, you're that Bible Basher off BB4 aren't you?"
Cameron: "Och, I am "
Punter: "So wot you doin' floggin ale then?"
Cameron: "Well, I may preach abstinence but my other face sells it!"
Punter: "That's all right then. Would one of you get me a pint then?"
Cameron, panicking now...flips through guidance manual (New Testament), realises paradoxical hypocrisy, rolls eyes, and...
..."Och, I have to go and replace the ladies loo's bulbs. Someone's punched the lights oot....."