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Old 16-08-2008, 13:15
*marv*
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I';ve been asked to be one of the people carrying my grandads coffin on Friday (22nd) and I was hoping someone on here could help me out, as i have no idea how to do so
do you just hold it with your hand buy your waist?
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Old 16-08-2008, 13:16
Dirt_Mc_Girt
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stand next to it and lift.
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Old 16-08-2008, 13:23
Eater Sundae
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I've never done it, but I think you carry it on your shoulder. You might be able to reach across with your arm, under the coffin, to link with the person on the other side. That way there's no risk of the people on each side moving apart and allowing the coffin to drop between you. I'm pretty sure dropping the coffin is not good etiquette. You can reach across with your outer hand to steady the top of the coffin.
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Old 16-08-2008, 13:24
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The funeral directors will show you.

If your unsure ring them and they will give you a little lesson.

I carried my dad and I went to the directors the day before.

The last thing I wanted to do was drop him.
Though he would have found that funny.
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Old 16-08-2008, 13:35
Babe Rainbow
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The funeral directors will show you.

If your unsure ring them and they will give you a little lesson.

I carried my dad and I went to the directors the day before.

The last thing I wanted to do was drop him.
Though he would have found that funny.
That's exactly what I was going to say They can actually show you instead of just trying to describe it in words.

I hope it goes OK - it is a great honour and an homage to your grandfather to be asked. I'm sure you will do him proud
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Old 16-08-2008, 14:16
trustme..addict
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my husband has just done it, the funeral directors showed them how to do it and stayed with them throughout.
it was a great honour and i was so proud of my husband for doing it.
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Old 16-08-2008, 14:18
jen0607
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I've never done it, but I think you carry it on your shoulder. You might be able to reach across with your arm, under the coffin, to link with the person on the other side. That way there's no risk of the people on each side moving apart and allowing the coffin to drop between you. I'm pretty sure dropping the coffin is not good etiquette. You can reach across with your outer hand to steady the top of the coffin.
what a wondeful way with words you have!!!!!
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Old 16-08-2008, 15:10
cosmo
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The funeral directors' staff will lift it onto their shoulders first, then the nominated pallbearers will 'slip' in and take their places one by one.

You rest the coffin on your shoulder and extend your arm underneath to either hold the other side or put your arm on the shouder of the pallbearer on the other side.

Obviously depending on the weight of the person but I carried my Dad (he was 15st) it was a bit heavier than I'd expected it to be so be prepared for that.

When you get to wherever you're carrying the coffin to the funeral directors will slip in again and take it off you before lowering it themselves onto the stand or whatever.
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Old 16-08-2008, 15:15
seacam
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Hello Marv,

I've both carried and lowered a coffin and unless Granddad was a heavy weight, the lightness will surprise you.

It's a simple up and under lift.

You link arms with the person on the other side of you and walk in unison, the funeral directors will show you how.

You'll do your Granddad proud I'm sure.
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Old 16-08-2008, 15:19
*marv*
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thanks to everyone who has responded to this
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Old 16-08-2008, 15:21
zounds
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my husband has just done it, the funeral directors showed them how to do it and stayed with them throughout.
it was a great honour and i was so proud of my husband for doing it.
After my Dad died I hadn't even thought about carrying his coffin, first I knew about it was when the coffin was already in the air and someone came over to me and my Brother outside the church and asked if we wanted to take over from two of the bearers.
We both said no and let them get on with it.
I regret it now, if I'd had time to think about it I would have done.
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Old 16-08-2008, 15:26
*marv*
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mods can i ask you to stop moving this thread? i poste it in advice it got moved to GD then back to advice again
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Old 16-08-2008, 15:27
susie-4964
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After my Dad died I hadn't even thought about carrying his coffin, first I knew about it was when the coffin was already in the air and someone came over to me and my Brother outside the church and asked if we wanted to take over from two of the bearers.
We both said no and let them get on with it.
I regret it now, if I'd had time to think about it I would have done.
I know what you mean. Women almost never carry coffins, although I'd have been well able to do it, and I'd have liked to have carried my dad's coffin into the church. As it was, all I could do was reach out and touch it as it passed. These ceremonies are important, I think.
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Old 16-08-2008, 17:49
redboyuk
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i carried my nans coffin and it was a lot lighter than i thought it would be as the coffin was made from oak.

me and my cousin never had a lesson or anything just told how to lift her out of the hearse(sp)

It found it harder thinking that it was my nan in there rather than the weight of it.

my nan had 4 boys and 2 girls. the girls were in pieces as you are, but the boys would not carry her.

i thought it was disgusting, she had helped them out so much and they couldnt even carry her.

sorry for the rant!
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Old 16-08-2008, 18:02
summer_chick
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I know what you mean. Women almost never carry coffins, although I'd have been well able to do it, and I'd have liked to have carried my dad's coffin into the church. As it was, all I could do was reach out and touch it as it passed. These ceremonies are important, I think.
I helped carry my mum out of the church .. a cousin offered me the option and my first instinct was no, but when I thought about it, I wanted to do it.

The funeral directors talked us through it all the way..
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Old 16-08-2008, 19:19
Neighbours_Fan
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Well, my dad, his brothers and my cousin carried my grandad's coffin by their waists last week, but maybe that was because not all of them are the same height
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Old 16-08-2008, 21:37
J105
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When my dad died in December i dont think we were asked if anyone in the family wanted to carry his coffin.
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Old 16-08-2008, 22:32
dollymarie
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We carried my Grandad in, 4 of us plus 2 funeral people.
On our shoulders, and we arent all the same height. Apparently it looked lovely, and im really glad we all did it.
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Old 17-08-2008, 16:56
james_19742000
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Well myself and my wife carried our daughter, into the service, out of the service, and then to the graveside and lowered her in. Something that is difficult to do, but am pleased that I done it.

Its better to regret something you did do, tha something you didnt.

The Funeral Directors are very good at giving advice and instruction, as well as being right behind you and spotting any possible problems and can take over at a moments notice.

But dont panic, all will be fine

James
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