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New kitten and grumpy old cat - any ideas?


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Old 18-08-2008, 16:35
MAW
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We've had a cat for some time, had 2 for a while, though one died fairly recently. They never got on, both introduced as adult spayed females. We've now, for our sins, got a 10 week old kitten, a Maine Coon in fact, never thought I'd go for a pedigree cat till we met him and his parents, you have to meet one to believe it. Anyway, miserable old Madam is having hissy fits with him already, growling too. She does stay out of his way, which is absurd at present, as though he's big for a 10 wk old, she weighs 6.5kg and it's not fat. She seems scared of him. Any experienced cat owners have any suggestions?
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Old 18-08-2008, 16:50
dollylovesshoes
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We've had a cat for some time, had 2 for a while, though one died fairly recently. They never got on, both introduced as adult spayed females. We've now, for our sins, got a 10 week old kitten, a Maine Coon in fact, never thought I'd go for a pedigree cat till we met him and his parents, you have to meet one to believe it. Anyway, miserable old Madam is having hissy fits with him already, growling too. She does stay out of his way, which is absurd at present, as though he's big for a 10 wk old, she weighs 6.5kg and it's not fat. She seems scared of him. Any experienced cat owners have any suggestions?

I would try and keep them separate for a while(If you can), one trick is perhaps get a clean sock and stroke Madam,then stroke the baby! Transferring scent
I had this problem a couple of years ago when a puss appeared Christmas Morning ,poor babe I took her in and had to keep her in the Bathroom for a couple of weeks (it was hell) then I transferred her to the bedroom, had to shut out my existing cat though. She didnt like it one bit, but after a time I started to open the bedroom door and the new puss ventured out,it wasnt too bad but they didnt like one another (both females) they agreed to disagree if you know what I mean.New puss was the hissy one and my existing one just used to swear back at her.
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Old 18-08-2008, 16:54
stud u like
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I just let them get on with it. My Impossible Princess had a problem with the cat next door when she was little but now they are best girlfriends and play about the garden together.
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Old 18-08-2008, 17:00
wemster
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I haven't got any practical advice I'm afraid, but if you think your baby is big now just wait until he's fully grown.......

I'm sure they will settle down eventually - after a few months I caught my mardy Miss eating out of the kittie's bowl and from that point they were fine, although they pretend to still hate each other if they think I'm looking!

Good luck
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Old 18-08-2008, 17:02
yorkiegal
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they may never get on. how old is your older cat? you may have the equivalent of a pensioner living with a toddler, in which case it's no wonder she's peed off.

try plug in feliway from your vet or pet store. it's pheremone based and you can't smell it but your cats can and it destresses them.

lots of love and attention for your older cat. fortunately the kitten should be sleeping a lot at present so there's an opportunity for you to spoil the older one then.

i tried keeping them seperate for two weeks and swapping scents etc, but Tabitha still hated the kitten, who bullied her mercilessly until she died a year later. Female cats are always worse than males when it comes to accepting new playmates. They like to be boss.
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Old 18-08-2008, 17:02
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All cats can speak English, although it takes a few weeks for a new-born to get the tenses correct.

Use this simple rhyme to convince the older cat you have her best interests at heart.


Oh cat, thou art so beautiful
Oh cat, may thine fur never get wet
Oh cat, you art a true feline-friend
Oh cat!, Oh cat!, Oh cat!


My fellow cats will always respond. Tell her "The Kaptain" says meow.
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Old 18-08-2008, 17:05
RAINBOWGIRL22
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We got my two childhood cats 3 years apart and in all honesty they never truly got on

They did however learn to tolerate each other and just used to basically ignore each other... Try not to let the playful little kitten get too boistorous with the older cat, as they tend NOT to like having some little, crazy, jumpy, maniac trying to 'play' with them (even though they used to be kitty's themselves)

My BF's Mum recently acquired a new cat and even though they have a 5 bedroom Victorian house the cats wage war over this one tiny landing You cannot go near them for the hissing and circling one another - they are both fully grown cats though!!!
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Old 18-08-2008, 17:11
dollylovesshoes
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Really good advice from everyone. I must agree females are not too tolerant. I always made sure though that my existing female was number one! She was always fed first and got cuddles first (whether she wanted it or not) I just had to re-assure her.
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Old 18-08-2008, 17:42
MAW
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Well, big one does have exclusive duvet squidging rights, so she does get attention, though the day kitten arrived she was so peeved she spent all day in the garden. Fortunately that's big enough for a small army of cats. I'll try some of this, all that's practical. She keeps herself apart, so that's already happening, I'll try the sock trick though. Maybe she'll be more respectful when he's grown up, his dad was a whopper.
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Old 18-08-2008, 17:50
dollylovesshoes
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Well, big one does have exclusive duvet squidging rights, so she does get attention, though the day kitten arrived she was so peeved she spent all day in the garden. Fortunately that's big enough for a small army of cats. I'll try some of this, all that's practical. She keeps herself apart, so that's already happening, I'll try the sock trick though. Maybe she'll be more respectful when he's grown up, his dad was a whopper.
He sounds gorgeous!Madam sounds lovely as well.
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Old 18-08-2008, 17:53
trixieb
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Well, big one does have exclusive duvet squidging rights, so she does get attention, though the day kitten arrived she was so peeved she spent all day in the garden. Fortunately that's big enough for a small army of cats. I'll try some of this, all that's practical. She keeps herself apart, so that's already happening, I'll try the sock trick though. Maybe she'll be more respectful when he's grown up, his dad was a whopper.
Our old cat (male) did that for about a week too, when the new kittens came. One day there was non-stop heavy rain and he looked so pitiful. The girl's now his bed-sharing pal, and he and her brother rumble along pretty well.
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Old 18-08-2008, 18:05
MAW
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He sounds gorgeous!Madam sounds lovely as well.
Both are well loved here, we now have a fabulous contrasting pair. She is a well built pure black short hair, he's a maine coon in white/cream tail and ears. He's so cute I think my daughter might eat him.
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Old 18-08-2008, 18:27
girlfrommars
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Both are well loved here, we now have a fabulous contrasting pair. She is a well built pure black short hair, he's a maine coon in white/cream tail and ears. He's so cute I think my daughter might eat him.
Can you post some pictures please.
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Old 18-08-2008, 18:40
lorry
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This is such a useful thread for me! We have a huge 8-year-old ginger tom who's currently king of the castle, and we have a 10-week old female white kitten arriving on Saturday - so all this advice is great - thanks!

I'm worried that Gus, who's an expert hunter and other-cat-hater, will see little Flo as his appetiser on her first day..........so we're going to do our best to keep them well apart at least for the first few days.

I like the sock idea suggested by dollylovesshoes - and any other advice would be welcomed!

Please will you keep us posted MAW about your little twosome?
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Old 18-08-2008, 18:48
MAW
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Camera flat battery, I'll have a go later. In the meantime, have you googled for Maine Coon? It's hilarious, my poor wife nearly had kittens herself.
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Old 18-08-2008, 18:54
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Camera flat battery, I'll have a go later. In the meantime, have you googled for Maine Coon? It's hilarious, my poor wife nearly had kittens herself.
Blimey Ive seen horses smaller than that


I had a kitten but my cat ( female) just would not get used to her , she stayed in the wardrobe for mths only come out for food or the loo . Would not let anyone touch her . I had to get rid of the kitten in the end

I had never had troubles before as once a certain time went they either got on or tolerated each other .

Boys are easier tho
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Old 18-08-2008, 19:06
jen0607
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Jesus Christ - Maine coon's are HUUUUUGE!

I don't really know what to suggest. My kitten and cat still don't get on, to the extent that the cat barely comes in the house now.

I think the kitten may have to go......
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Old 18-08-2008, 19:34
MAW
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The kitten is bold as brass, doesn't give a damn. It's the old lady who is doing the hiding away.
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Old 18-08-2008, 19:42
sancheeez
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Jesus Christ - Maine coon's are HUUUUUGE!
Yup.

Old cat may be 6.5kg and not fat but the new one should outgrow it within a year or two.

Maine Coons are big, strong and smart.

Once it's grown up, old kitty will be well put in her place methinks!
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Old 18-08-2008, 20:04
urbanjig
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Sorry to hear your having problems.

The only trick I have known to work is when you initially bring the Kitten place him/her in a room for a few days with a an old towel under the door so half is inside the room and the other half is outside.

Feed them by placing the food on the towel so they have to sit on it and then at the end of every night swap the sides.

This done for a few days as I say should make the initial meeting go smoothly.

I know its a little late to suggest now but MAY still be worth a shot.

Also the sock trick sounds good aswell so do both I guess.

Should neither work then afriad it may just be a case of letting them work out how to get along by themselves in there own time.
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Old 18-08-2008, 20:11
msjj
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Too late now, I know, but I'd never bring in a new cat if you already have one.
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Old 18-08-2008, 20:21
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Too late now, I know, but I'd never bring in a new cat if you already have one.

Why? Ive had loads of cats and only once have they not got on at all.
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Old 18-08-2008, 20:52
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I had a similar problem a couple of years ago and I discovered it was worse because of our female older cat's temperament and the fact our kitten was male. Our grumpy cat was 9 when we got the new kitten. A bit feral and independant, but quite loving although never really easy to stroke. My sons longed for a friendlier cat who'd climb and sit on a lap. I relented and 4 years ago got a gorgeous male kitten. He was surrounded by other kittens in the foster home and was friendly and completely at ease with them all.

Well unfortunately my older cat thought we'd gone completely mad! How dare this kitten arrive on HER territory! She'd constantly spit at him and lash out. Until he got a little older when the tables turned. He was such a bloke! Honestly, even though he was neutered he couldn't resist chancing his luck! At retirement age, all she wanted a quiet life, but the little bugger, would lie in wait and when she tried to sneak up the stairs, would belt up after her, resulting in a frenzied ball of flying fur, with the most horrendous noise.

4 years later, the younger one has calmed down and they tolerate one another now. Eat together and sleep at night in the kitchen together (with access to cat flap) They are still wary though, and wouldn't share the same sofa for example. They like and respect one another's space. Occasionally when their defences are down and awaiting food, curiosity will get the better of one of them and they'll tentatively risk a sniff or go nose to nose, then realise what they're doing and lash out and spit! lol!

So best advice would be to keep separate territories and they'll hopefully find a way to live in relative harmony. I also heard that thet local vet should sell something called Feliway. It's a plug in (like those glade ones) that emits cat hormones (doesn't smell of anything to you or I) and should calm your male cat down. They're great for times of stress like moving house or introducing a new cat into the household.
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Old 18-08-2008, 21:15
WaiteLover
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I had a look at a picture of the breed of cat OP it's gorgeous and massive I want one
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Old 18-08-2008, 21:19
sancheeez
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They are whoppers aren't they.

Adult males - 6-9kg with over 10kg not uncommon ... and they're clever with it.

Thats twice the size of good size average moggy. Three times the size of the smaller of my two!

Seems to a 'big kitty' thing going on here recently. We had someone with a Norwegian Forest Cat the other day as well. Those two are about as big as domestic breeds get!
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