I watched it on Saturday night, and I doubt I'll be watching it again.
Every contestant blubbing at the drop of a hat. 'I want this more than anything, it's my life, I can't imagine myself doing anything else, I was rubbish at school and let my parents down so I'm doing it for them, to make them proud of me, to give them a better life, for the dead dog, for the goldfish, so I can send my overweight Aunt Lil who brought me up, to a health farm .. etc. etc' Give it a rest willya! How refreshing would it be to have a contestant striding on saying 'I'm doing it because I want to be rich and famous. I'll give it my best shot, but if I don't get through, I'll have to think about doing something else'. No tears, no melodrama, just ambition!
The judges sit surrounded in opulence, villas and terraces and swimming pools and whathaveyou while the contestants are trotted out to 'perform' for them, straining and screeching and wailing away until the are overcome with emotion, forget the words or some such drama which the production team then milk to the max. What cracks me up is you've got the fab four of er ... let's see Danni Minogue, Emma Bunton, Cheryl Cole and her Girl's Aloud colleague Kimberley .. sat there judging how well people sing!?!?! Am I the only one who sees the irony in this? None of them are exactly Aretha Franklin's are they? The best that can be said of any one of them is that they can hold a tune and even that, in some cases, is debatable.
And what in tarnation was Danni Minogue wearing? She's obviously been taking fashion advice from Sinitta .. sat there perfectly posed like a Madame Tussaud's waxwork with her bandana, and her off the shoulder dress, arm bracelet, red lippy and botox fixed smile, she looked like summat out of a 1930s movie! I kept expecting Errol Flynn to come leaping over the ballustrade.
And of course you know all the auditions are immaterial really. Doesn't matter how good they sing, we all know the choice is going to be based on audience appeal .... in an attempt to pull in everyone right across the board .. the middle aged widowed dad left with a baby girl to look after (for the older female audience), the sultry Spanish senorita for the dads and grandads; the wayward, bolshy, unpredictable mum of five , who's done it all but come good and turned her life around ... to give the show a bit of edge; the angelic faced 15 year old boy for the young tweeny boppers; the 'bad lashes' and 'girlband' for the older teenage girls (and even boys) who as we speak are practising in year 11 classrooms thinking 'we could do that'. ... etc. etc.
The only competitors for me with any real music credibility are the four lads JLS. Perfect harmonies and arrangements, tight as tight musically, and it is abundantly clear they have put in a huge amount of time and dedication into their act. In a different era, these lads would have no problems getting signed, but it doesn't seem to work like that anymore, so here they are - on the X factor. If there was any way Louis could have not put them through he would have, in favour of the four pretty boys thrown together for the competition but who musically didn't even come up to JLS's ankles. But JLS were simply too good to ignore. Sadly I think they will probably get the X factor treatment - the horrid makeover, the terrible song choices, their skill in arranging their own numbers will get set aside by the production team, they will be vocal coached and choreographed and will probably go out in the first or second round. I hope that doesn't happen, but I wouldn't put money on it.
Nope, no channel hopping for me. This year I'll be sticking with Strictly!