Darcy Bussell- rumour has it she has had dance training.

Alan Sugar: he'd end up making one of the judges leave.

Vernon Kaye: Tess's groping would get really out of hand....

Jeremy Paxman: he'd tell Bruce to c'mon, c'mon during dramatic pause awaiting results.

Anybody from Big Brother.

Ant n Dec: they'd insist on partnering each other and pro would get left on sidelines.

Tuthmosis II

Jonathon Ross. He's stuck for something to do at the moment.

Tom Cruise, no female pro small enough for him

Victoria Beckham has done nothing wrong but what is the point of her? She has no talents so why doesn't she just relax with her wonderful family

Let's be thankful for small mercies.