What Would Jesus Do?....it's the moral guide that lead Cameron to such a convincing victory. Whenever he was in a morally difficult position..such as threatening someone or having to give any sort of opinion on anything he would ask himself "What Would Jesus Do"......Well...time to turn the tables....Let's go back 2000ish years and ask What Would Cameron Do if he was in Jesus' position........

Dilemma 1. Loaves and Fishes.....

Disciple - Cameron...A multitude has gathered to here you speak...yey! Unto the number of 5000. We have only 3 loaves and 2 fish to feed them.

Cameron - Do they have tickets?

Discliple - What my lord?

Cameron - Have they paid. I do these gigs for money you know.

Disciple - No...they're here to hear you wisdom. They want to follow you.

Cameron - And they've come over here...after our loaves and fishes...that we've worked for. They must think we're a soft touch. Lock them on an island I say....that's too good for 'em.

Discliple - Shouldn't we..errm...magically create more fish.

Cameron - I'd like to punch my fist to the back of you face and wee in your shoes......

Here endeth the lesson

Did he say.."Blessed are the cheese makers??"


Beware false prophets. Or should that be false profits?

Dilemma 2 - Paying Taxes...

4. And so the priests went unto Cameron. 5. And asked unto him. 6. Should we pay unto the Romans taxes that. 7. They demand of us. 8. And Cameron said unto them. 9. Give unto me a coin. 10. For I don't work without a fee, and my wisdom is on a strictly contractual basis. 11. Veryily mark you upon this coin. 12. It does not say we are a soft touch. 13. That we mayest pay our taxes so that it may fall unto foriegners. 14. Who may flee from tyranny but it's the principle of the thing. 15. Send them hence, to live upon an island for fourty days and nights and pack them off home. 16. For they art bogus and we pay out taxes not unto them but unto ourselves only and maybe if we get rid of some poor people we can pay less. 17. And I will throttle all who say otherwise. 18. And make earth unto their toothpaste. 19. Och I didna mean that.

..20. And did pronounce upon the assembled the desire to defecate upon their footwear. 21. And upon their oesophagus a thumb be placed. 22. Lest they should breathe in his presence. 23 And lo a hypocrisy was brought asunder. 24. And lo, for it was mental. 25. And a passage was wrought from chicanery to South Africa whereupon an exeat was forthcoming. 26 Thou shalt be devoid of nomination for that is legion and is a human number, being six hundred three score and six. 27 And thou knowest thy will cop a thick ear or wrist of twistedness lest thou desisteth..

28. Cam ba Yah my Lord Cam ba yah

Dilemma 3: The Gilbert and Sullivan Opera

I am Cameron of Big Brother

[COLOR=indigo]He’s Cameron Stout to you[/COLOR]

And be it understood
I am very very good

[COLOR=indigo]But he’ll throttle you to you’re blue[/COLOR]

Yes I’d strangle you through and through

[COLOR=indigo]It's what he threatens to do[/COLOR]

For be it so prestigious
I am totally religious
And What Would Jesus do

[COLOR=indigo]Yes…What Would Jesus Do?[/COLOR]

He would use words of threat
Out of ear shot you bet

[COLOR=indigo]But he’d say he was joking too[/COLOR]

And if Asylum Seekers relax
He’d trouble them for tax
He’ll accuse them of all sorts
For having no passports

[COLOR=indigo]And send them to an island to stay[/COLOR]

If money’s involved that ‘s the only way
At least that’s what I think Jesus would say

[COLOR=indigo]That’s what Cameron thinks he’d say[/COLOR]

I am such a decent bloke
That if someone near does choke
I would make a look of hate
And later them berate

[COLOR=indigo]He’d bitch in the Diary Room[/COLOR]

I’d be justifiably right to moan
Because choking you can't condone
You can bitch from afar
If they’re unpopular

[COLOR=indigo]But that’s not hypocritical then?[/COLOR]

No.. she can choke and die
Whilst you sit looking mad
Because as a Christian
You can’t possibly be bad

[COLOR=indigo]How do you keep you head do you think?[/COLOR]

It’s because I steer clear of the drink
I can keep my second face on
Whilst the others all get drunken

[COLOR=indigo]Then why for you do people vote?[/COLOR]

Because I’ve done nothing of any note
I can keep a lid on my right wing views
As long as I stay away from the booze

[COLOR=indigo]His views will stay buried
Whilst the others get all merried[/COLOR]

And they’ll vote for me by the score
Because people must want a bore
They must think I’m heaven sent
I’m self righteous and violent……….

[COLOR=indigo]And he attracts buck tooth midgets too…...[/COLOR]

Encore une fois!!

Brilliant! (excerpt from the Ewbank and Jailers Diminutive Gobsh*te yam yam Review)!

operettatastic!

He is still at his old tricks, judging from recent comments. Some things never change it seems.

I mean, would Jesus really want to strangle Lisa, the blessed soul who never said an unkind word to or about him?

Hypocrite!

I'd forgotten about this one.....the sad old hypocrite he is.....

Mes, you may not believe it, but I actually found this page through Google's cached pages option while searching for his diary room remarks about strangling poor Lisa. Hence all the odd "color" additions to your post.

Anytime his hypocritical actions re-surface, I always have that picture of his mad, wild-eyed grin in my mind's eye as he confided to us via the diary room camera what he would like to do to her. It seems not particularly just unchristianlike, but inhuman.

And as usual, you were on top form with your unique posts.

Christians and Muslims kill in the name of their faiths, as do probably most other religions, so I'm sure there must be a free pass in there somewhere, to have strangled Lisa.................and leave little surprises in Jon Tickle's shoes.

Back then DS forums had colour.....I put them in to denote the backing singers of my little opera...

That explains it then.

The archived page was nicely coloured as I remember.

The good old days - before my time on this forum.

Uh-huh....

Aye those were the days..................
You do realise, you both sound like a pair of pensioners.........

I am almost a year from my first anniversary here on DS.

I feel old anytime I see newbies with 10 - 50 posts.

Oh well, I must be an oldish newbie

Ditto here

Nothing like reading old posts to pass the time on those nights that sleep refuses to cooperate and take over the body.

You have that silent chuckle of rememberance on seeing old threads and mentally revisiting old arguments that are quite meaningless in the great scheme of things, and yet at the time, took up screen time too scandalous and embarrassing to calculate.

Ahh! You see FMs' names no longer with us, forever banned to the great beyond, and remember with regret the good times you had with them and their wits.

All that are left of them and their time among FMs are their posts, forever held together in the deep vaults of DS servers, like a cryogenics version of immortality, almost as if awaiting a general amnesty to be released after x years to perhaps come back and pick up from whence they left.

And you read on, bookmarking pages of interest to return to as time allows and whenever the mood strikes you. From time to time, you feel the need to have a mental escape and stroll into the comforting familiarity of this labyrinth of old threads, old arguments and old friends patiently awaiting your return, forever young.

You never cease to marvel at the passage of time and the evolution of ideas, as hindsight affords you that rarest of pleasures - the ability to move back and forth in time seeing the questions and polls of yesterdays and answering them now as the deeds has been done and the winners of the Big Brother series in question now known to you.

You then hear movements, the glare of daylight furiously chasing away the darkness of night, the daybirds whistling and chirping away as they reclaim the skies, the kids stirring, toilets flushing away the liquid toxins of the body, bacon and eggs sizzling, toasts burning and another day becomes an unmistakable but welcome reality.

Then you say your goodbyes to your friends in their pixels havens, with a promise to return. I will never forget you, you tell them with a bookmark.

And somehow, you can almost hear them reply "Yes. We know".

Excellant, Iknowicould, very poetic...........

Inspired by Mes the Master.

Yes excellent post [one to bookmark methinks]

Eloquent stuf. I started to browse, thinking of Halcyon days and then I found this:

Now all the Jungle Cats are on fire
And silken dalliance in the wardrobe lies
Now thrive the Ahmedders on BBLB,
And honour’s thought…
Reigns solely in the breast of every Cat
We sell the pasture now to buy the horse
Following the mirror of the Great Jason…
For now sits Expectation in the air…

The Harem advised by good intelligence
Of this most dreadful preparation
Shake in their fear, and with pale policy
Seek to divert the JC’s purposes...
The Harem hath in the House found out..
A nest of hollow bosoms, which it fills
With treacherous crowns: and three corrupted housemates.
One Daniel of Hull, and the second,
The Duchess Shell of Winchester, and the third,
Lady Michelle, dame of Northumberland,
Have for the gilt of the Harem (and Nadia's fags)
Confirmed conspiracy with Marco's paeons

…he which hath no stomach for this fight,
Let him depart, his passport shall be made,
And crowns for convoy put into his purse,
We would not die in Stuart’s company.
That fears his fellowship to die with us,

This day is call’d the feast of Vic the Slick,
He that outlives this day, and comes safe home,
Will stand a tiptoe when this day is named,
And rouse him at the name of Victor.
He that shall live this day, and see old age,
Will yearly on eviction nights, feast his neighbours,
And say, tomorrow is Victor’s day,
Then will he show you the archive of all his posts.
Old men forget, and threads will be forgot,
But we’ll remember with advantages
What posts we sent that day, then shall our names,
Familiar in his mouth as household names,
Plato, Alrightmate, JonDoe, burstovary,
Gaz twenty two, GG, nasescobar,
Be in their flowing posts freshly remembered,
This story will the good man teach his son
And eviction nights will ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of BB
But Vic and Jay will be remembered.
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers
For they today that post their post for Victor,
Shall be my brother, be they an Emma or Marco supporter or whatever,
This day shall gentle their condition,
And Forum Member’s in England (and Scotland) now abed,
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their little skinny dicks cheap whiles any posts
That posted with us for BB5s Jungle Cats


Bliss was it in that dawn...

For Plato..............*Throwing roses*


*applause* *applause* *applause* with vigour un-restrained for Plato...............