Originally Posted by grauniad:
“Be very careful young man, Rachel is mine. We are planning to elope, as she says she would rather be with me than her mega-rich boyfriend. The high life and fame she is willing to eschew for the frugal, but loving, attention I will give her. She says she is looking forward to a life with me, and old age creeping up on her.
If you persist in lusting after her, I will be compelled to ask that you choose your weapon.
”
“Be very careful young man, Rachel is mine. We are planning to elope, as she says she would rather be with me than her mega-rich boyfriend. The high life and fame she is willing to eschew for the frugal, but loving, attention I will give her. She says she is looking forward to a life with me, and old age creeping up on her.
If you persist in lusting after her, I will be compelled to ask that you choose your weapon.
”
With your weedy frame, rampant B.O. terrible comb-over and out-of-control nose-hair, you've no chance mate, give up now before you make a fool of yourself.
Stand aside, she shall be mine.




