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Work unbearable as not conceiving
I have been trying to conceive with OH almost 6 years now, I have a son from previous partner and OH is childless,
I work in a hospital and our base is next to the labour ward
Seeing labouring women and people taking home their newborns is breaking my heart, I can't cope.
Any advice?
I work in a hospital and our base is next to the labour ward
Seeing labouring women and people taking home their newborns is breaking my heart, I can't cope.
Any advice?
0
Comments
Or adopt? I really wish more people would adopt.
Also (and I know you know this) stressing about not conceiving is a pretty good way of stopping conceiving. So imo you need to try and find a way of putting getting pregnant right to the back of your head. Stop trying to conceive and it will likely happen when you least expect it. Have fun with your son and enjoy each other.
And yes, I know that's far easier said than done but if medically all is well that is imo your best course of action.
As for work is there any chance of a transfer so it could help you not think about getting pregnant constantly?
Op says 6 Years not months.
OP - have you both been checked to see if there is a problem with either of you? have you looked at all possibilities - IVF, Adoption etc?
Are you looking for advice on how to conceive or advice on how to deal with other people being pregnant?
Six YEARS is a long time, which is what the OP said!
Ah whoops. My mistake.:o
U don't know what advice I want but currently every shift at work makes me cry and that can't be good?
I would consider adoption also and am looking into it
I feel very defective and am on the verge of telling OH to find someone else who can conceive and carry to term
Maybe it is time to consider having some private tests.
What have you and OH had tested so far?
No offence but if you already have a child the issue may not lie with you!
You have said you get stressed every day being next to the Labour ward.
Therefore I think the advice given above to either change jobs or perhaps easier to change locations might help and I would think is preferable to medical intervention. Do you think that this is an option worth exploring say for at least a one year period ?
Have you thought about conceiving through donor embryo? I believe in some places like the Czech Republic and India it is, comparitively speaking, not so expensive - much, much less so than here or in America - without waiting lists and the success rates are very high because they're created from the eggs of very young and healthy women. Caucasian babies from Czech, racially Indian babies from India.
So have you been offered any treatment? If you've got unexplained infertility there are various options, clomid is usually the first line of treatment and you can have that for free usually even if you already have children.
Re your job - I'm assuming you're an NHS employee, can you not apply for other available jobs or put in for a transfer?
It took me 10 years to conceive my son so I really sympathise, I was offered a job in obstetrics in that time and had to turn it down because I couldn't deal with it so I can understand a little of what you may be going through.
I imagine that you are probably more important to your partner than having children, he's not left after all. It's you he wants.
She's had tests done and they have found nothing wrong so talking about a donor egg is extremely drastic, she would have been told if she had no egg reserves and needed a donor. It's far more likely she would need fertility drugs or IVF than a donor.
Really? Exactly how many children have YOU adopted? Because that kind of statement generally comes from people who have zero experience of the adoption system.
As the head of Barnardo's said last year the vast majority of people in this country wouldn't be allowed to adopt their own children if they had to go through the same process.
It's monumentally difficult to adopt at present. And only 60 babies were adopted in the entire UK last year. So the vast majority of people who adopt are not going to be adopting the lovely cuddly baby you imagine. Children are left in dreadful situations for a long time before they are removed for adoption these days and it's much more likely they would be adopting an extremely damaged victim of abuse than anything else. It's not something everybody can take on, particularly when they already have another child.
I have no experience of adoption, but even I know the above to be true! It's very ignorant of people to say "just adopt" as if it were that easy. Even if the parents qualify for adoption, it is most likely that they would have to adopt an older child or a child with special needs.
well Smirsk said she is looking into adoption and receiving a donated embryo is kind of like adoption, except the adoption happens in the womb. It's also something that can be done without all the red tape of adoption and is highly likely to be a very quick way to get a baby, after six years without one. Just a thought - I entirely agree IVF with own eggs, fertility drugs, etc, are things that could be looked at with hope.
Do please talk to your boss or HR if you can. People are an awful lot more sympathetic than you think. Promise
For a start there is a massive shortage of donor eggs in the UK at the moment and as she probably doesn't need donor eggs she wouldn't be offered them.
Also if she does it abroad it's hugely expensive and also unnecessary if she has not been told there is a problem with her eggs. It would be much more sensible and cheap to go for IVF or fertility drugs first. Donor eggs are a last resort for people who have a specific set of problems which the OP doesn't have.
It isn't just some kind of quick fix.
With respect, you don't know what you're talking about.
Absolutely agree.
It's a typical reply from a Daily Wail reader in my opinion! I just don't think anyone who hasn't been through IVF or adoption can understand how instrusive and hreatbreaking both are. I know that we said that if IVF didn't work then we'd adopt but actually underestimated the sheer emotional toll of IVF. That's not to say I regret, I am stronger and the worries of life that most have do not phase me that much and I've met some amazing people. But I also think that simonp820 misses the fact that when you're childless and know that you'll have problems you take both the GP's advice - in our case IVF is viable and we had hope that it would work so you trust in them more than social services. And you do what you think will work best. The press coverage of adoption and problems do not give a positive view and on paper at least, IVF has more success than adoption. Plus why can't the childless hope to experience pregnancy? If a smoking and drinking woman who conceives by accident can, then why can't someone who has jumped through a million hoops from diet to lifestyle do that too?
Sorry to hear you've not had any luck yet Shadow. Hope it happens for you soon, you too OP
yes I do. I have years of experience with infertility! And I was talking about donor embryos, not donor eggs.