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The Thread for Lazy Journalists
Quizmike
Posts: 5,972 Forum Member
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I know that it's great having Strictly in the News every day, but after daft stories about Vincent stealing a dance from DWTS, Matt and Alesha "getting it on" and Dom spending the weekend with someone (not to mention the Daily Mail article), I thought that journalists could do with some help in coming up with their stories. So, if you have a story you'd like to see in the tabloids, why not put it here. I'm sure it will end up in print sometime soon!
I'll start things off...
Lovely Letitia Dean entered Strictly Come Dancing to learn how to dance. Now she has learned that she has a brother.
Gorgeous Letitia, 27, got the shock of her life when she discovered that her dancing partner, Darren Bennett is her long lost sibling.
A source close to the rauncy couple told us "Letitia was adopted as a child by a couple who ran a pub in the East End, and never knew her real family. She and Darren were taking a break from rehearsing for a sexy foxtrot and started to muck around with a DNA testing kit that they found while they were going through the bins.
"They tested each other for a laugh, and it came out that there was a 32% chance that they were brother and sister. And you can't get more certain than that."
Darren, 39, who is married to fellow Strictly professional Lilian Koppollovina is said to be delighted at finding the sister that he never knew he had.
"They are planning a family Christmas together" the pal told us. "But first they still need to wow the judges with their raunchy Waltz". Watch Letitia, 31, on Strictly Come Dancing this Wednesday 9pm on BBC2
Feel free to add your own "exclusives" here
I'll start things off...
Lovely Letitia Dean entered Strictly Come Dancing to learn how to dance. Now she has learned that she has a brother.
Gorgeous Letitia, 27, got the shock of her life when she discovered that her dancing partner, Darren Bennett is her long lost sibling.
A source close to the rauncy couple told us "Letitia was adopted as a child by a couple who ran a pub in the East End, and never knew her real family. She and Darren were taking a break from rehearsing for a sexy foxtrot and started to muck around with a DNA testing kit that they found while they were going through the bins.
"They tested each other for a laugh, and it came out that there was a 32% chance that they were brother and sister. And you can't get more certain than that."
Darren, 39, who is married to fellow Strictly professional Lilian Koppollovina is said to be delighted at finding the sister that he never knew he had.
"They are planning a family Christmas together" the pal told us. "But first they still need to wow the judges with their raunchy Waltz". Watch Letitia, 31, on Strictly Come Dancing this Wednesday 9pm on BBC2
Feel free to add your own "exclusives" here
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Willie Thorne talks of Strictly Hell
In an exclusive interview, Willie Thorne, the latest contestant to be booted out of Strictly Come Dancing (BBC1's flagship programme) talks of his hell on the show.
'It was terrible' he said in an EXCLUSIVE interview with our reporter.
'I had to dance with all these gorgeous women and they kept throwing themselves at me. I barely coped. All these nubile young ladies in sexy costumes....it was hell out there...hell I say!
But the worst bit was, when they asked me to don a leather cat suit to do the salsa in a future week.
Miss Whiplash...I mean Erin, said it would be fine. But in rehearsals I could not cope with the comments I got from the production staff.
Willie 'gone', 'Good time Willie' and 'Topcat' were okay. But when one wag shouted.....'is it a bit cold mate?' I lost my head.
I don't mind donning a leather cat suit for anyone, but I drew a line at the feathers and head dress.
I thought I had done pretty well, but some people are never satisfied unless they see your fur ruffled. I have to admit I showed my claws.'
Willie went out last week, unfairly in this reporters view, but he lives to fight another day as there have been rumours that Andrew Lloyd Webber is in negotiations with him to join the cast of 'Cat's in a new revival of the popular musical.
Read all about it in next weeks issue of 'Cats and their owners.' With a free DVD of 'Cats and furballs....how can you tell what to look for?'
p.s....great thread mate.
Gethin, the Tapir from Longleat Safari Park, has finally agreed terms to participate in series 5 of Strictly Come Dancing.
The youthful quadruped has stepped into the shoes of Blue Peter presenter namesake, Gethin Jones, at the request of dance partner Camilla Dallerup. Hunky Gethin, the Blue Peter presenter, acknowledged the advantage his odd-toed ungulate rival brings to the competition.
“Of course it’s massively disappointing that Camilla prefers Tapir Gethin to the real thing,” he admitted. “But he has fabulous markings and a lovely manner. He can flare his nostrils amazingly well, which I think will gain marks with the judges. I’ve heard Craig likes a mammal with a bit of meat on it. I hope they do well.”
Danish beauty, Camilla, raved about the change. “With four feet the new Gethin can double his connection with the floor, which can only win more marks from Arlene. I’m very excited.” With a twinkle in her eye she added, “I mean, he’s FIT!”
"Marry or Not to Marry"
Matthew Cutler, 34, has surpised everyone on the show Strictly Come Dancing. The professional dancer who is currently partnering ex Mis-teeq popstar Alesha Dixon, 29, has proposed to not one but 2 of the professional dancers; being Ian Waite and Nicole Cutler
An insider said: "Matt tried prosposing to Ian, who he actually thought he was joking seeing as he's in a civil partnership to Strictly Professional dancer Brendan Cole. He then made things ten times worse for himself by trying to propose to his ex-wife. It made a very tense atmosphere".
Alcohol was said to be the cause of the outburst. Matthew has already been accused of kissing Alesha Dixon very passionately in rehersals, after practising for the midblowing Vienesse Waltz. His previous history is marrying Canila Tapperup, 28, and Nicole Cutler, 33, before annoucing he was gay and wanting a divorce.
utterly utterly brilliant, havent stopped laughing
In another shocking display of BBC fakery, the judges on Strictly make constant references to the couple being "tall". In fact, Penny is only 5'6, with Ian measuring 5'8.
The deceit is believed to be a cover up to hide the fact that Penny's husband, veteran rocker Rod Stewart is actually only 4'9.
An insider told us "Rod is very sensitive about his height. In the past he only dated dwarves to cover up his cruel secret. But when he fell for Penny, his people had to pretend that Penny was 6'4."
The BBC bigwigs make the sexy couple look taller when dancing by moving the cameras closer to them. There are also "boxes" laid strategically throughout the set for the couple to stand on when in company.
Ex-jockey Rod was last night unavailable for comment.
BBC reveals secret cost cutting measures
Tonight the BBC has finally admitted that all is not as it seems on Strictly Come Dancing. Unwilling to pay the fees demanded by the celebrities appearing on the show, they instead chose lookalikes from the general public, luring them with the promise of fame, fortune and a free lunch.
In a further measure to save dwindling funds, the show is filmed in a local warehouse, with green screen technology used to edit in the dancefloor, audience and 'live band'.
Stay tuned for more developments, as revealed by our confidential source.
This sudden blurb nearly chocked Flavia who was having a break with a bottle of water. Insiders said they cast a glance at the camera, took off their microphones and both left the studio.Ten minutes later they returned and decided to stop training for the day.
Our reporter tried to confirm this fact with Ms Cacace's eight-year partner and fellow Strictly pro dancer, Vincent Simone but he refused to comment.
Okay, I tried. Not very good at it, but hey I tried...
Loll:D Love it. Just to make up one of my own now.
Strictly and Blue Peter star, Gethin Jones has tracked down his long lost hips. After 3 weeks of searching, it was discovered that Gethin The Tapir had borrowed them in training for next years spin-off show-"Animals Named After Celebrities Come Dancing."
(Its not great-but its the first thing that came into my head)
lmfao
these are brilliant everyone!!
We can exclusively reveal that 53 year old Anton has been secretly in love with Craig Reveal-Horneywood, 61, since meeting him through the show several years ago.
Anton is of mixed Norwegian/Taiwanese parentage, and it is rumoured that he may once have been tempted to become one of the famous 'ladyboys'.
A source close to Anton revelled " It is a little known fact that Anton prefers to be called Antonia by his 'friends'."
This week we will serialise Dominic Littlewood's story from humble beginnings in a factory to heating up the dancefloor with Lilia on Saturday nights.
Manufactured at Acme Gnomes in China, Dominic travelled across the sea in a cargo tanker before settling in the garden of Mrs. P. Doble in Dorset.
He blames his poor posture on years spent fishing and standing on rocks.
Mrs. Doble was unavailable for comment.
Dominic, who usually sports a full beard, has been trying to distance himself from his less than perfect past.
A former friend of Dominic, Mr. B. Ears, said: "I think Dom's insecurities stem from his relationship with his father. Dom's father was always very stoney faced".
In a sensational scoop from our reporter Bo Locks, we can reveal that Strictly Come Dancing's Kate 'Queen of the GMTV sofa' Garraway is actually a professional dancer who regularly dances incognito at the Moulin Rouge in Paris.
Kate has had fans fooled for weeks with her stories of tendonitis, and trying to pass off her dancing as terrible.
But our reporter tracked her down last Sunday to the exclusive night spot in Paris, only to see her take centre stage in one of the legendary shows.
Gone were her canes and corn plasters, and in came a topless red outfit complete with can can dress and five inch stiletto's. Our reporter sat open mouthed in amazement as he watched Kate straddle a 7 foot paper mache elephant before jumping off whilst performing a double cartwheel, and then launched into a marvellous can can, finishing with a jaw dropping splits.
As she left the stage to thunderous applause, Mr Locks tried to sneak backstage dressed as Anton Du Beke, Kates partner on the BBC1 show, but was turned away by security at the stage door. When asking to speak to Ms Garraway, 39, he was told in no uncertain terms to leave the building as was told there was no Ms Garraway performing at the Moulin Rouge. However, with aid of a secret camera hidden in his gleaming gnashers, our intrepid ace did manage to get a photo of her dressing room door, which had the name Madame la Sofa on, and also he could hear her distinct tones from behind the partly opened door, where she appeared to be in a deep conversation with another lady cast member who appeared to go by the name of Fifi la Philly. Both were laughing madly and the names 'Arlene' and Bruno' along with odd words such as 'fix', 'Old bat' and 'We've fooled every....' were heard but at this point our Mr Locks was forcibly removed from the building by two hefty French Gendarmes.
Buy our paper again tomorrow where we will have more on this story plus an interview with Gethin the Tapir, direct from his training in the woods at Longleat Safari Park.
*****
Love this thread...best I've read (excluding my bits.
Strictly Come Dancing's Brendan Cole was last night defending claims that he spent the night after last weeks show in a 5-in-a-bed lovefest.
Bad boy Brendan Cole was unavailable for comment today but his spokesperson insists the claim isn't true.
'It is a lie.' Said the spokesperson. 'It was only three. Hamble, Big Ted and Little Ted were all involved, but Brendan threw Jemima and Humpty out of their pram earlier on in the day.'
If you know any of the toys involved please contact us at the usual number.
Strictly at its funniest! Keep it going! I'm a Sun reader so I know its all TRUE!
Brilliant, kittles, have just splurted tea over the screen!
ay thenk you - beats doing the ironing:D
Coffee just came down my nose!!!!!!!!!