As you know I was addicted to your 'Strictly Musings' but had forgotten you had said you would probably do one for DOI, and so stumbling across this has made my day!!!
I now have a reason to get excited again on Sunday evenings knowing I can look forward to reading your thoughts on DOI on Mondays:D
Can't get into DOI as I do SCD but love your take on the programme x:D
Tonight there's excitement, a buzz, a frisson if you will. The boys and girls are all jumbled up and we have 22 skatists ready to fall over for our entertainment. It's been a big week for Hammy too. Thawed, revived and escaped all in one day, he's now set up camp behind the telly and is getting most of his nourishment from the scart lead. Much of the excitement stems from whether or not we'll get through to the skate-off before Hammy gets through to the electricity.
Do you want the truth? I missed the start because of my drink problem - I couldn't get the cork out of the bottle and I had to hand over to Mrs JfW. By the time I was ready to toast Fliss I'd missed the opening number and we were applauding our SKATING STARS! After Chris Dean's latest medical report and a swift appraisal of Holly's dressing gown, we shoot over to Robin who tells us he's looking for 'individuality and personality'. We're all looking for that, mate.
The show gets on the road with Ellery and Frankie. I like these two. He's not the sharpest tool in the box and her down-to-earth northern vowels are the perfect counterpoint to her soaring skills. Unfortunately it's a gruesome start with the big fella proving to be a stranger to both rhythm and style. "He brings his own personality to the ice" said Chris. Yes, but it's the personality of someone who can't skate. Jason picks up where he left off last week by calling it 'moronic' but if that was a bit much, so was Karen's 4. He'd count himself lucky to score 16 - if he could count.
This is more like it. Last week's girly top dog, Jessica proves she's not a one-trick pony by pulling out a corker. Skating with Pavel to a song from her wedding dvd (aw, bless) she is graceful and controlled and beautifully at ease and it's hard to see why Nicky and Ruthie restricted the score to 20.5. She's married to the Kipper, you know. I mean, what more could you want? Blonde, beautiful, makes you think of cricket. If she was a barmaid she'd be perfect.
Next up it's Donal and the gloriously monikered Florentine. They start by sliding off the judges' podium and, aided by the panacea of ballet lessons, he's much smoother than last time. He also manages a couple of good lifts - not bad for a chap on his second outing - but it's a disjointed affair and the toe-steps, this week's required element, are nearly his undoing. Nicky's a full point higher than everyone else with a brow-raising 4 and, in criticising his performance, asked him to be 'less polite'. Yep, that's just what this show needs.
Completely rejuvenated after a tentative start, Coleen has decided that if she's going down, she's going down fighting. Of course, having said that, she spends the first 20 seconds standing still and Stuart has to drag her into two-thirds of a good routine. When she finally gets going she hits the heights with a good lift and she grins through the whole thing - as do I. Back with the arbiters Nicky's 4.5 and Jason's 2.5 were both off the mark, the others saw reason and 17 was a fair reward.
Jeremy and Darya are next and having failed to warm to him first time around I see no reason to revise my opinion. He's competent enough but I'm put off by the fact that he looks more pleased with himself than an uninspiring routine should allow. The only thing I can remember is the green shirt (and delectable Darya, naturally). Apparently he did an 'inside spreadeagle'. I've done one of those - brings tears to your eyes. Karen loved it, Ruthie hated the singing and 16 points looks like it'll put him in the zone known as danger.
Quiet now, I have to concentrate, it's Melinda and Fred. She's looking radiant this week with her long frizzy hair and her short frilly skirt. She's an elegant and graceful figure on the ice and Ruthie commented on her beautiful arm and leg lines and then had a go at Nicky for scoring too high (a bit rich, coming from the non-dancing, non-skating judge). In expressing my disagreement I miss the TV with the satsuma and have to settle for the fine score of 19 to soothe my furrowed brow.
The much anticipated high watermark of the night arrives with Ray and Maria. You can't argue with the sheer delight on Maria's face when she talks about the wunderkind. She knows he's a good 'un but he seems to polarise opinion, this kid. He has the confidence of youth and a voice that could grate cheese. It's good of his mother to let him play on a school night and, hell's bells, he's good. He may be a spotty oik but the skating, the lifts, the steps and the dancing are all brilliant.
Tonight he's fast and accurate and it's packed full of content. Nicky thinks he's a good half point better than Coleen and, having seen him pick up 5s across the board, Ruthie has another dig at Nicky, Nicky bites back and it's left to lovely Jason to bring us sunshine and happiness. Finally, they gang up and chorus that he's the 'best ever' - not for those of us still holding a candle for little Claire Buckfield, he's not.
Michael and Melanie are the smiliest couple on the show and tonight Mr Happy looks miles better than his first outing having put in some gym time working on his 'wobbly core'. It's quite a fast dance and, for the most part, he looks quite assured. Like Coleen they both smile all the way through it and back with Phil, you can't shut him up. "He reminds me of you" said Mrs JfW. Smartarse. After dishing up 17 points, Jason moans about his stiff hands and Robin thinks his brain isn't engaged but, while he's not the best technician, the judges wanted personality and this guy's got it.
Zoe and Matt float in, Zoe looking divine in scarlet. They begin well but an unfortunate stumble right in front of the judges sapped her confidence and showed in her expression. She recovered well, wobbled again and finished beautifully. Unusually, the marks rose in the middle as performance won out over execution but even so, given the criticism she'd levelled at Nicky, Ruthie's 4 was generous in the extreme. 16.5 points and it seems I was the only one dwelling on her wobbly bits (as it were).
Out to rapturous applause, Todd and Susie are skating to the pithy choice of 'Help!' After two weeks of intensive training he's still a bit unsteady going forwards and quite ropey going backwards. His best direction is downwards and taking the ovation, he even shakes when he's standing still. If this were a jelly-impersonation contest, I'd hand it to Todd. If it were an audition for 'Earthquake', Todd would be your man. As it stands, he's just monumentally bad. After an extraordinary minute of stagger, stumble, totter and trip he flails down the tunnel and out of sight, only to emerge on cue as the dance comes to an end. He brings the house down.
The judgement could go either way and Phil's suggestion that it could have been 6s all the way is as valid as his eventual 9.5 points. 'The only thing missing was a big red nose' said Jason and in the polemic debate of Skating v Entertainment, this guy transcends all boundaries.
I've seen some tough acts to follow in my time but I actually feel sorry for Roxanne and Daniel. They make an impression, though, by treating us to the incongruous sight of a Diner waitress doing Wilson, Kepple and Betty. She's lovely standing still but she's not the most languid on the move. Karen liked the improvement, You-know-who griped about the fact that her wrists weren't double-jointed. There's always something with that man and he added just 3 to a pretty good score of 18.
For once I can enjoy the results show because the Majestic Melinda is called out first (not that I have any favourites, you understand). As their names are called out, Zoe looks tearfully grateful, Roxy looks like she's about to burst, Florentine squeals like a banshee and Coleen nearly has a funny turn. After the break, Todd avoids the skate-off and looking rather sheepish, shows precisely why by having to be helped off the ice. In the end Ellery pulls it out of the bag while Jeremy fluffs his lines when it matters most. The upside is that we lose the oily tic, the downside is that he takes Darya with him.
After two weeks of intensive training he's still a bit unsteady going forwards and quite ropey going backwards. His best direction is downwards and taking the ovation, he even shakes when he's standing still. If this were a jelly-impersonation contest, I'd hand it to Todd. If it were an audition for 'Earthquake', Todd would be your man.
I was anticipating what you would say about Todd, and you didn't disappoint.
'It's good of his mother to let him play on a school night and, hell's bells, he's good. He may be a spotty oik but the skating, the lifts, the steps and the dancing are all brilliant.'
Forget Simon Cowell, forget Wossy and forget JLC and Alan Carr - JfW is the saviour of weekend telly. Especially when I miss it two weeks in a row and have no idea what happened
Forget Simon Cowell, forget Wossy and forget JLC and Alan Carr - JfW is the saviour of weekend telly. Especially when I miss it two weeks in a row and have no idea what happened
Thanks Lorelei, but I shouldn't rely on it as an historical document. In my endeavours to maintain the highest journalistic standards, the best I can promise is to tell the truth, some of the truth and bits of other stuff as well.
Thanks Lorelei, but I shouldn't rely on it as an historical document. In my endeavours to maintain the highest journalistic standards, the best I can promise is to tell the truth, some of the truth and bits of other stuff as well.
It's the bits of other stuff that make our week....if I was anywhere near Wales I'd hug you....
Thanks Lorelei, but I shouldn't rely on it as an historical document. In my endeavours to maintain the highest journalistic standards, the best I can promise is to tell the truth, some of the truth and bits of other stuff as well.
History, my dear JfW, is written by the winners - and in this day and age, that's the people that others choose to read.
As an Oxford-educated historian myself, I'd say that if it was a toss-up between a written transcript of the actual show (with T&D's ejaculations of 'great' and 'excellent' to describe Ray, Todd and everything in between) and your own well-constructed and informative prose, I would find the latter far more informative about what really happened at the time. :D:D
Comments
Wonderful musings *again*
Big waft coming your way.
Thanks again
I now have a reason to get excited again on Sunday evenings knowing I can look forward to reading your thoughts on DOI on Mondays:D
Can't get into DOI as I do SCD but love your take on the programme x:D
More entertaining and no ad breaks
I can't wait to hear what John made of yesterday's offering. No pressure John, honest .... just anticipation!!
Tonight there's excitement, a buzz, a frisson if you will. The boys and girls are all jumbled up and we have 22 skatists ready to fall over for our entertainment. It's been a big week for Hammy too. Thawed, revived and escaped all in one day, he's now set up camp behind the telly and is getting most of his nourishment from the scart lead. Much of the excitement stems from whether or not we'll get through to the skate-off before Hammy gets through to the electricity.
Do you want the truth? I missed the start because of my drink problem - I couldn't get the cork out of the bottle and I had to hand over to Mrs JfW. By the time I was ready to toast Fliss I'd missed the opening number and we were applauding our SKATING STARS! After Chris Dean's latest medical report and a swift appraisal of Holly's dressing gown, we shoot over to Robin who tells us he's looking for 'individuality and personality'. We're all looking for that, mate.
The show gets on the road with Ellery and Frankie. I like these two. He's not the sharpest tool in the box and her down-to-earth northern vowels are the perfect counterpoint to her soaring skills. Unfortunately it's a gruesome start with the big fella proving to be a stranger to both rhythm and style. "He brings his own personality to the ice" said Chris. Yes, but it's the personality of someone who can't skate. Jason picks up where he left off last week by calling it 'moronic' but if that was a bit much, so was Karen's 4. He'd count himself lucky to score 16 - if he could count.
This is more like it. Last week's girly top dog, Jessica proves she's not a one-trick pony by pulling out a corker. Skating with Pavel to a song from her wedding dvd (aw, bless) she is graceful and controlled and beautifully at ease and it's hard to see why Nicky and Ruthie restricted the score to 20.5. She's married to the Kipper, you know. I mean, what more could you want? Blonde, beautiful, makes you think of cricket. If she was a barmaid she'd be perfect.
Next up it's Donal and the gloriously monikered Florentine. They start by sliding off the judges' podium and, aided by the panacea of ballet lessons, he's much smoother than last time. He also manages a couple of good lifts - not bad for a chap on his second outing - but it's a disjointed affair and the toe-steps, this week's required element, are nearly his undoing. Nicky's a full point higher than everyone else with a brow-raising 4 and, in criticising his performance, asked him to be 'less polite'. Yep, that's just what this show needs.
Completely rejuvenated after a tentative start, Coleen has decided that if she's going down, she's going down fighting. Of course, having said that, she spends the first 20 seconds standing still and Stuart has to drag her into two-thirds of a good routine. When she finally gets going she hits the heights with a good lift and she grins through the whole thing - as do I. Back with the arbiters Nicky's 4.5 and Jason's 2.5 were both off the mark, the others saw reason and 17 was a fair reward.
Jeremy and Darya are next and having failed to warm to him first time around I see no reason to revise my opinion. He's competent enough but I'm put off by the fact that he looks more pleased with himself than an uninspiring routine should allow. The only thing I can remember is the green shirt (and delectable Darya, naturally). Apparently he did an 'inside spreadeagle'. I've done one of those - brings tears to your eyes. Karen loved it, Ruthie hated the singing and 16 points looks like it'll put him in the zone known as danger.
Quiet now, I have to concentrate, it's Melinda and Fred. She's looking radiant this week with her long frizzy hair and her short frilly skirt. She's an elegant and graceful figure on the ice and Ruthie commented on her beautiful arm and leg lines and then had a go at Nicky for scoring too high (a bit rich, coming from the non-dancing, non-skating judge). In expressing my disagreement I miss the TV with the satsuma and have to settle for the fine score of 19 to soothe my furrowed brow.
The much anticipated high watermark of the night arrives with Ray and Maria. You can't argue with the sheer delight on Maria's face when she talks about the wunderkind. She knows he's a good 'un but he seems to polarise opinion, this kid. He has the confidence of youth and a voice that could grate cheese. It's good of his mother to let him play on a school night and, hell's bells, he's good. He may be a spotty oik but the skating, the lifts, the steps and the dancing are all brilliant.
Tonight he's fast and accurate and it's packed full of content. Nicky thinks he's a good half point better than Coleen and, having seen him pick up 5s across the board, Ruthie has another dig at Nicky, Nicky bites back and it's left to lovely Jason to bring us sunshine and happiness. Finally, they gang up and chorus that he's the 'best ever' - not for those of us still holding a candle for little Claire Buckfield, he's not.
Michael and Melanie are the smiliest couple on the show and tonight Mr Happy looks miles better than his first outing having put in some gym time working on his 'wobbly core'. It's quite a fast dance and, for the most part, he looks quite assured. Like Coleen they both smile all the way through it and back with Phil, you can't shut him up. "He reminds me of you" said Mrs JfW. Smartarse. After dishing up 17 points, Jason moans about his stiff hands and Robin thinks his brain isn't engaged but, while he's not the best technician, the judges wanted personality and this guy's got it.
Zoe and Matt float in, Zoe looking divine in scarlet. They begin well but an unfortunate stumble right in front of the judges sapped her confidence and showed in her expression. She recovered well, wobbled again and finished beautifully. Unusually, the marks rose in the middle as performance won out over execution but even so, given the criticism she'd levelled at Nicky, Ruthie's 4 was generous in the extreme. 16.5 points and it seems I was the only one dwelling on her wobbly bits (as it were).
Out to rapturous applause, Todd and Susie are skating to the pithy choice of 'Help!' After two weeks of intensive training he's still a bit unsteady going forwards and quite ropey going backwards. His best direction is downwards and taking the ovation, he even shakes when he's standing still. If this were a jelly-impersonation contest, I'd hand it to Todd. If it were an audition for 'Earthquake', Todd would be your man. As it stands, he's just monumentally bad. After an extraordinary minute of stagger, stumble, totter and trip he flails down the tunnel and out of sight, only to emerge on cue as the dance comes to an end. He brings the house down.
The judgement could go either way and Phil's suggestion that it could have been 6s all the way is as valid as his eventual 9.5 points. 'The only thing missing was a big red nose' said Jason and in the polemic debate of Skating v Entertainment, this guy transcends all boundaries.
I've seen some tough acts to follow in my time but I actually feel sorry for Roxanne and Daniel. They make an impression, though, by treating us to the incongruous sight of a Diner waitress doing Wilson, Kepple and Betty. She's lovely standing still but she's not the most languid on the move. Karen liked the improvement, You-know-who griped about the fact that her wrists weren't double-jointed. There's always something with that man and he added just 3 to a pretty good score of 18.
For once I can enjoy the results show because the Majestic Melinda is called out first (not that I have any favourites, you understand). As their names are called out, Zoe looks tearfully grateful, Roxy looks like she's about to burst, Florentine squeals like a banshee and Coleen nearly has a funny turn. After the break, Todd avoids the skate-off and looking rather sheepish, shows precisely why by having to be helped off the ice. In the end Ellery pulls it out of the bag while Jeremy fluffs his lines when it matters most. The upside is that we lose the oily tic, the downside is that he takes Darya with him.
I've had a naff day and you've just taken the edge off it!
Thanks JfW xxxxxx
Thanks John, another masterpiece.
Gives me a right chuckle every week so far.
I was anticipating what you would say about Todd, and you didn't disappoint.
Another great Musing:D
Wonderful, as usual. Can't wait til next week!!:D
Just one question...
...What does the cat think of Hammy?:eek:
Great review as always.
Thanks Lorelei, but I shouldn't rely on it as an historical document. In my endeavours to maintain the highest journalistic standards, the best I can promise is to tell the truth, some of the truth and bits of other stuff as well.
It's the bits of other stuff that make our week....if I was anywhere near Wales I'd hug you....
Keep up the good work.
:eek: :eek: Looking forward to your take on this week's show John.
History, my dear JfW, is written by the winners - and in this day and age, that's the people that others choose to read.
As an Oxford-educated historian myself, I'd say that if it was a toss-up between a written transcript of the actual show (with T&D's ejaculations of 'great' and 'excellent' to describe Ray, Todd and everything in between) and your own well-constructed and informative prose, I would find the latter far more informative about what really happened at the time.