It really is when you look at the posts that proceeded your first outburst.
As I said, if you are going to react like that when people are giving advice then you can't be too surprised when people don't take too kindly to it and respond accordingly.
Yeah, everyone's right, I'm a selfish little b*tch. No point giving my opinion on anything because I'm wrong and everyone else is right. I'm sure you've been wonderful people all your lives, always spent your money wisely and not wasted it on random things like I clearly do (even though I rarely treat myself to anything because I can't afford it).
It's dead easy to get a job when there's a recession and you have no experience. Clearly. I mean everyone else did it, right?
If I was really as bad as you all make out, I'd have gotten myself pregnant, popped out a few kids, expected the council to provide me with a free house, and claim all the benefits I could. Instead I work in a crappy weekend job so that I can actually say I'm trying to make my way into the "real world". I'd be better off on benefits - I'd get a bit less money, but I'd be entitled to plenty of free courses to better myself. As it is, I'm entitled to nothing - I'd quite like to work in admin, but to complete ECDL, for example, I'd have to pay about £300 which I cannot afford.
But yeah. I'm absolute scum.
Just so you can see, I've highlighted all the parts which (IMO) are overly dramatic and bear no relation to anything anyone had actually said to you at that point.
I avoided making personal insults, but I object to being called a "spoilt brat" and a "Middlesboro' Moron". And there is a big difference between "you sound like a spoilt brat" and "you are a spoilt brat" - the first I don't mind so much.
It's not an over-dramatic response at all. I am genuinely upset that people who are clearly a lot older than me had to respond in such a nasty way. I don't mind people disagreeing with me. I don't mind people putting their response in a slightly harsh manner. But some people have been very rude and hurtful.
The worst thing is, I explained that I wouldn't mind giving more money if I had a better job. I'm looking for a better job too - it's not like I'm just saying that to make me sound better. All I did was agree with the OP and say why I don't like paying the amount I do.
The thing is Emily, in the real world, say if you lived in private rental accommodation or council housing or even if you had a mortgage, being in a low paid job would not be a good enough excuse for not paying up each month. It wouldn't cut the mustard when a bailiff is banging on your front door, or when your leccy has been cut off or whatever. If you can't afford it tough. You'd be served with an eviction notice or even a court summons!
Your bloody lucky to have a roof over your head, and by your parents making you pay rent they are teaching you that nothing comes for free in life.
You were the one who said you asked to borrow five dollars off your dad for cigarettes. I just wondered whether in America you were expected to live at home with your parents longer than kids do in the UK?
Oh I see... I was 24 when I moved back home from uni. As you probably know, most people in America go to school in one part of the state and their parents live in another. I stayed at home for about 11 months before I got engaged and left the USA.
I avoided making personal insults, but I object to being called a "spoilt brat" and a "Middlesboro' Moron". And there is a big difference between "you sound like a spoilt brat" and "you are a spoilt brat" - the first I don't mind so much.
It's not an over-dramatic response at all. I am genuinely upset that people who are clearly a lot older than me had to respond in such a nasty way. I don't mind people disagreeing with me. I don't mind people putting their response in a slightly harsh manner. But some people have been very rude and hurtful.
The worst thing is, I explained that I wouldn't mind giving more money if I had a better job. I'm looking for a better job too - it's not like I'm just saying that to make me sound better. All I did was agree with the OP and say why I don't like paying the amount I do.
Don't worry Emily, people just love trotting out the old "when you get in the real world" line over and over again. I can understand it though, they're annoyed and think you don't understand how much money you have to spend in the "real world". That's when you have a full-time job though taking £20,000 a year, not struggling on a crappy wage part-time. I think your mum is being a bit harsh. Don't take all the nasty comments to heart!
The thing is Emily, in the real world, say if you lived in private rental accommodation or council housing or even if you had a mortgage, being in a low paid job would not be a good enough excuse for not paying up each month. It wouldn't cut the mustard when a bailiff is banging on your front door, or when your leccy has been cut off or whatever. If you can't afford it tough. You'd be served with an eviction notice or even a court summons!
Your bloody lucky to have a roof over your head, and by your parents making you pay rent they are teaching you that nothing comes for free in life.
Too true, I was forced to leave home at 17, I had just started my first job and earned £40 a week, with day release to college. The flat i rented (shared) cost me £120 a month inc bills. This obviously didn't leave me an awful lot to live on so I had to take another job at evenings and weekends to get by.
Even now in my relatively well paid job i would be bloody chuffed to have a third of my wages left at the end of each week/month to do with as i pleased. Unfortunately in the real world outside of the bubble of living with parents this is rarely the case.
Don't worry Emily, people just love trotting out the old "when you get in the real world" line over and over again. I can understand it though, they're annoyed and think you don't understand how much money you have to spend in the "real world". That's when you have a full-time job though taking £20,000 a year, not struggling on a crappy wage part-time. I think your mum is being a bit harsh. Don't take all the nasty comments to heart!
Nobody has been nasty to her though. She chucked her toys out of the pram because people told her she should be grateful for what she's got.
Don't worry Emily, people just love trotting out the old "when you get in the real world" line over and over again. I can understand it though, they're annoyed and think you don't understand how much money you have to spend in the "real world". That's when you have a full-time job though taking £20,000 a year, not struggling on a crappy wage part-time. I think your mum is being a bit harsh. Don't take all the nasty comments to heart!
With a house and bills to pay, and in the case of her mother, children to feed and take care of.
The OP has no mortgage, no children, no car, no utility bills, no council tax, no TV license, no internet bills and no idea how much her mum pays for all of those things and yet chooses to complain about paying a paltry sum to her mum.
Well, no. When I go away, I have my holiday money but I still have to keep my housekeeping money so that when I come back, we can eat. My cost of living doesn't suddenly doesn't suddenly decrease because I am away from the house.
I think it is time you move out. You are coming across as a spoilt madam. Once you become an adult, whether you are living with your parents or on your own, the last bit of money you see is your own. Everyone else gets their slice and you may see some in the end. If you ever have kids, forget it.
ETA@ robinsbatman, my parents used to say to my older sister "you can't use this place as a flophouse!"
No one called you a spoiled brat. I bolded what I said. You certainly sound immature though. Perhaps that is why your mother wants to keep you at home. Good mothers (and your mom sounds like one) know their children. You are in no way ready to move in with your boyfriend. I too am a mother, though I have small kids, and if you were my daughter, I'd put my foot down.
I avoided making personal insults, but I object to being called a "spoilt brat" and a "Middlesboro' Moron". And there is a big difference between "you sound like a spoilt brat" and "you are a spoilt brat" - the first I don't mind so much.
It's not an over-dramatic response at all. I am genuinely upset that people who are clearly a lot older than me had to respond in such a nasty way. I don't mind people disagreeing with me. I don't mind people putting their response in a slightly harsh manner. But some people have been very rude and hurtful.
The worst thing is, I explained that I wouldn't mind giving more money if I had a better job. I'm looking for a better job too - it's not like I'm just saying that to make me sound better. All I did was agree with the OP and say why I don't like paying the amount I do.
Calm down a bit. No one should've called you a moron, but if you chill out a bit, you will see where you sound incredibly spoiled. I remember when I started college. My dad was so tight, he wouldn't give me lunch money. I was working, but not a lot. I took peanut butter sandwiches and milk for weeks on end and never asked him for anything. He eventually started ponying up some cash. (That was before I started smoking!)
Don't worry Emily, people just love trotting out the old "when you get in the real world" line over and over again. I can understand it though, they're annoyed and think you don't understand how much money you have to spend in the "real world". That's when you have a full-time job though taking £20,000 a year, not struggling on a crappy wage part-time. I think your mum is being a bit harsh. Don't take all the nasty comments to heart!
rubbish, income is only relative to expenditure. She is a single girl living at home with her parents. I would imagine £20000 a year doesn't go very far if you have a couple of kids and a mortgage.
Don't worry Emily, people just love trotting out the old "when you get in the real world" line over and over again. I can understand it though, they're annoyed and think you don't understand how much money you have to spend in the "real world". That's when you have a full-time job though taking £20,000 a year, not struggling on a crappy wage part-time. I think your mum is being a bit harsh. Don't take all the nasty comments to heart!
What has that got to do with the price of bread ?
In the real world, whether you earn 20,000 or have a crappy wage, you'll still have to pay utilities and food.
Too true, I was forced to leave home at 17, I had just started my first job and earned £40 a week, with day release to college. The flat i rented (shared) cost me £120 a month inc bills. This obviously didn't leave me an awful lot to live on so I had to take another job at evenings and weekends to get by.
Even now in my relatively well paid job i would be bloody chuffed to have a third of my wages left at the end of each week/month to do with as i pleased. Unfortunately in the real world outside of the bubble of living with parents this is rarely the case.
So you want us all to move out at 16 and be depressed for the rest of our lives? I don't see the problem in living with your parents for as long as possible-pay them rent yes, how much depends on how much you are earning. Just because you have it crap and want everyone else to "get into the real world". Most parents still want their children to live with them anyway.
So you want us all to move out at 16 and be depressed for the rest of our lives? I don't see the problem in living with your parents for as long as possible-pay them rent yes, how much depends on how much you are earning. Just because you have it crap and want everyone else to "get into the real world". Most parents still want their children to live with them anyway.
Err, no. The point is that paying £25 a week for full board and lodging is a far better deal than having your own place and having to pay your own bills.
So you want us all to move out at 16 and be depressed for the rest of our lives? I don't see the problem in living with your parents for as long as possible-pay them rent yes, how much depends on how much you are earning. Just because you have it crap and want everyone else to "get into the real world". Most parents still want their children to live with them anyway.
Emily IS paying rent based on how much she is earning - 33% of what she is earning. That is a damn sight lower than the percentage I and most people spend on the basic essentials of running a home.
What has that got to do with the price of bread ?
In the real world, whether you earn 20,000 or have a crappy wage, you'll still have to pay utilities and food.
Yes which is why I'm saying-why not stay comfortable for as long as possible? I'm not taking advantage of my parents or anything. I pay them rent, probably not enough by you people's standards but I take home £48 a week at the moment (yes I might as well be on benefits but I don't want to do that) and pay my mum £20 a week board. Which doesn't leave a whole lot.
If you're going to tell me how hard the "real world" is over and over, you're just going to make me want to stay at home longer! I can struggle along and be all like "when you get in the real world" to teenagers for the next 30 years, so I'm staying put for as long as possible thanks. Don't want to end up all bitter just yet.
Don't worry Emily, people just love trotting out the old "when you get in the real world" line over and over again. I can understand it though, they're annoyed and think you don't understand how much money you have to spend in the "real world". That's when you have a full-time job though taking £20,000 a year, not struggling on a crappy wage part-time. I think your mum is being a bit harsh. Don't take all the nasty comments to heart!
Yes which is why I'm saying-why not stay comfortable for as long as possible? I'm not taking advantage of my parents or anything. I pay them rent, probably not enough by you people's standards but I take home £48 a week at the moment (yes I might as well be on benefits but I don't want to do that) and pay my mum £20 a week board. Which doesn't leave a whole lot.
If you're going to tell me how hard the "real world" is over and over, you're just going to make me want to stay at home longer! I can struggle along and be all like "when you get in the real world" to teenagers for the next 30 years, so I'm staying put for as long as possible thanks. Don't want to end up all bitter just yet.
So you are paying proportionally more for your rent/keep than Emily and yet you think HER mother is being too harsh
rubbish, income is only relative to expenditure. She is a single girl living at home with her parents. I would imagine £20000 a year doesn't go very far if you have a couple of kids and a mortgage.
£20k doesn't go far if you don't have kids to be fair!
So you want us all to move out at 16 and be depressed for the rest of our lives? I don't see the problem in living with your parents for as long as possible-pay them rent yes, how much depends on how much you are earning. Just because you have it crap and want everyone else to "get into the real world". Most parents still want their children to live with them anyway.
LOL Wut??
Do i sound depressed? I don't see the problem with staying with your parents if that is your preference. I never gave any indication of why I left to you either so any assumptions you have made are ridiculous.
I worked hard to get where i am and believe me, I have a fabulous life, i haven't had it 'crap' since i left home. Moving out at 17 didn't make me depressed, it made me determined to make something of myself, luckily for me the hard work and effort paid off.
Yes which is why I'm saying-why not stay comfortable for as long as possible? I'm not taking advantage of my parents or anything. I pay them rent, probably not enough by you people's standards but I take home £48 a week at the moment (yes I might as well be on benefits but I don't want to do that) and pay my mum £20 a week board. Which doesn't leave a whole lot.
If you're going to tell me how hard the "real world" is over and over, you're just going to make me want to stay at home longer! I can struggle along and be all like "when you get in the real world" to teenagers for the next 30 years, so I'm staying put for as long as possible thanks. Don't want to end up all bitter just yet.
Thats precisely the point we are all making here - telling Emily that she has got a good deal going whilst living at home and that she should be grateful that she only has to pay that much
Keeping up with responses was difficult - every time I refreshed there was another long response about why I should be grateful. I admit though, I could have responded in a more mature way.
I may come across as spoiled, but I'm not. My Mum has always been great, even though she's been a single parent for 16 years. I still don't like paying £25 a week to live at home, but my issue isn't so much with my Mum asking for it (although I do still object when I'm not in the house, regardless of the valid points people have made ), but with the amount I earn. I am quite an intelligent person, whatever assumptions people have made about me, and I feel I've not got anywhere with life. I'm hoping to turn that all around in the next few months - hopefully I will be moving to Sheffield with my boyfriend, which will enable me to take a few courses and get myself on the career ladder (fingers crossed!).
So you are paying proportionally more for your rent/keep than Emily and yet you think HER mother is being too harsh
Well, I've not actually started paying board again since I lost my job and now have another one (only just been paid) and owe my mum loads of money anyway which I have to pay back first. (waits for people to scream at me )
Then I'll pay her £20 a week.
In my last job I did 12 hours a week and paid my mum £20 a week and she got £10 off her shopping aswell each week (staff discount-she says that doesnt count, I say it bloody does!)
My parents also pay half towards a course I'm doing (£25 a month). I've changed my mind about Emily though-£25 a week aint bad. I've got it good I know, I won't complain.
By the way my parents are pretty well off so theyre not struggling or anything and I will pay them loads more when I get a full-time job. 22 year old spoiled little brat here
Keeping up with responses was difficult - every time I refreshed there was another long response about why I should be grateful. I admit though, I could have responded in a more mature way.
I may come across as spoiled, but I'm not. My Mum has always been great, even though she's been a single parent for 16 years. I still don't like paying £25 a week to live at home, but my issue isn't so much with my Mum asking for it (although I do still object when I'm not in the house, regardless of the valid points people have made ), but with the amount I earn. I am quite an intelligent person, whatever assumptions people have made about me, and I feel I've not got anywhere with life. I'm hoping to turn that all around in the next few months - hopefully I will be moving to Sheffield with my boyfriend, which will enable me to take a few courses and get myself on the career ladder (fingers crossed!).
Now that I'm less upset, I've realised something.
I apologise to everybody else!
Your Mums a single parent and you're complaining about having to contribute to the household bills? Wow. I'm a single parent and I work part time right now. Once my kids are 18 I will lose various benefits and child maintenance will cease. Damn right my kids will have to contribute if they are still at home and working.
You cannot even begin to comprehend how hard it might have been financially for your mother while you were growing up and she was a single parent. I'm living it now and believe me...it isn't easy
Oh and BTW...when my sister left school she did a YTS in hairdressing. It paid her £25 a week and she had to give £12 of that to our parents....
So you want us all to move out at 16 and be depressed for the rest of our lives? I don't see the problem in living with your parents for as long as possible-pay them rent yes, how much depends on how much you are earning. Just because you have it crap and want everyone else to "get into the real world". Most parents still want their children to live with them anyway.
I really don't see the point your trying to make here. Why would someone be depressed for the rest of their lives if they left home at 16? I'm sure if they are having a tough time at home for example they'd be bloody relieved to get away from their families. Even if that means sleeping on someone's couch.
Comments
It really is when you look at the posts that proceeded your first outburst.
As I said, if you are going to react like that when people are giving advice then you can't be too surprised when people don't take too kindly to it and respond accordingly.
Just so you can see, I've highlighted all the parts which (IMO) are overly dramatic and bear no relation to anything anyone had actually said to you at that point.
The thing is Emily, in the real world, say if you lived in private rental accommodation or council housing or even if you had a mortgage, being in a low paid job would not be a good enough excuse for not paying up each month. It wouldn't cut the mustard when a bailiff is banging on your front door, or when your leccy has been cut off or whatever. If you can't afford it tough. You'd be served with an eviction notice or even a court summons!
Your bloody lucky to have a roof over your head, and by your parents making you pay rent they are teaching you that nothing comes for free in life.
Oh I see... I was 24 when I moved back home from uni. As you probably know, most people in America go to school in one part of the state and their parents live in another. I stayed at home for about 11 months before I got engaged and left the USA.
Don't worry Emily, people just love trotting out the old "when you get in the real world" line over and over again. I can understand it though, they're annoyed and think you don't understand how much money you have to spend in the "real world". That's when you have a full-time job though taking £20,000 a year, not struggling on a crappy wage part-time. I think your mum is being a bit harsh. Don't take all the nasty comments to heart!
Too true, I was forced to leave home at 17, I had just started my first job and earned £40 a week, with day release to college. The flat i rented (shared) cost me £120 a month inc bills. This obviously didn't leave me an awful lot to live on so I had to take another job at evenings and weekends to get by.
Even now in my relatively well paid job i would be bloody chuffed to have a third of my wages left at the end of each week/month to do with as i pleased. Unfortunately in the real world outside of the bubble of living with parents this is rarely the case.
Nobody has been nasty to her though. She chucked her toys out of the pram because people told her she should be grateful for what she's got.
With a house and bills to pay, and in the case of her mother, children to feed and take care of.
The OP has no mortgage, no children, no car, no utility bills, no council tax, no TV license, no internet bills and no idea how much her mum pays for all of those things and yet chooses to complain about paying a paltry sum to her mum.
Calm down a bit. No one should've called you a moron, but if you chill out a bit, you will see where you sound incredibly spoiled. I remember when I started college. My dad was so tight, he wouldn't give me lunch money. I was working, but not a lot. I took peanut butter sandwiches and milk for weeks on end and never asked him for anything. He eventually started ponying up some cash. (That was before I started smoking!)
rubbish, income is only relative to expenditure. She is a single girl living at home with her parents. I would imagine £20000 a year doesn't go very far if you have a couple of kids and a mortgage.
What has that got to do with the price of bread ?
In the real world, whether you earn 20,000 or have a crappy wage, you'll still have to pay utilities and food.
So you want us all to move out at 16 and be depressed for the rest of our lives? I don't see the problem in living with your parents for as long as possible-pay them rent yes, how much depends on how much you are earning. Just because you have it crap and want everyone else to "get into the real world". Most parents still want their children to live with them anyway.
...but not Emily's. :cool:
Err, no. The point is that paying £25 a week for full board and lodging is a far better deal than having your own place and having to pay your own bills.
Emily IS paying rent based on how much she is earning - 33% of what she is earning. That is a damn sight lower than the percentage I and most people spend on the basic essentials of running a home.
Yes which is why I'm saying-why not stay comfortable for as long as possible? I'm not taking advantage of my parents or anything. I pay them rent, probably not enough by you people's standards but I take home £48 a week at the moment (yes I might as well be on benefits but I don't want to do that) and pay my mum £20 a week board. Which doesn't leave a whole lot.
If you're going to tell me how hard the "real world" is over and over, you're just going to make me want to stay at home longer! I can struggle along and be all like "when you get in the real world" to teenagers for the next 30 years, so I'm staying put for as long as possible thanks. Don't want to end up all bitter just yet.
In what way is her mother being harsh?
So you are paying proportionally more for your rent/keep than Emily and yet you think HER mother is being too harsh
£20k doesn't go far if you don't have kids to be fair!
LOL Wut??
Do i sound depressed? I don't see the problem with staying with your parents if that is your preference. I never gave any indication of why I left to you either so any assumptions you have made are ridiculous.
I worked hard to get where i am and believe me, I have a fabulous life, i haven't had it 'crap' since i left home. Moving out at 17 didn't make me depressed, it made me determined to make something of myself, luckily for me the hard work and effort paid off.
Thats precisely the point we are all making here - telling Emily that she has got a good deal going whilst living at home and that she should be grateful that she only has to pay that much
I may come across as spoiled, but I'm not. My Mum has always been great, even though she's been a single parent for 16 years. I still don't like paying £25 a week to live at home, but my issue isn't so much with my Mum asking for it (although I do still object when I'm not in the house, regardless of the valid points people have made
Now that I'm less upset, I've realised something.
I apologise to everybody else!
Well, I've not actually started paying board again since I lost my job and now have another one (only just been paid) and owe my mum loads of money anyway which I have to pay back first. (waits for people to scream at me
Then I'll pay her £20 a week.
In my last job I did 12 hours a week and paid my mum £20 a week and she got £10 off her shopping aswell each week (staff discount-she says that doesnt count, I say it bloody does!)
My parents also pay half towards a course I'm doing (£25 a month). I've changed my mind about Emily though-£25 a week aint bad. I've got it good I know, I won't complain.
By the way my parents are pretty well off so theyre not struggling or anything and I will pay them loads more when I get a full-time job. 22 year old spoiled little brat here
Your Mums a single parent and you're complaining about having to contribute to the household bills? Wow. I'm a single parent and I work part time right now. Once my kids are 18 I will lose various benefits and child maintenance will cease. Damn right my kids will have to contribute if they are still at home and working.
You cannot even begin to comprehend how hard it might have been financially for your mother while you were growing up and she was a single parent. I'm living it now and believe me...it isn't easy
Oh and BTW...when my sister left school she did a YTS in hairdressing. It paid her £25 a week and she had to give £12 of that to our parents....
I really don't see the point your trying to make here. Why would someone be depressed for the rest of their lives if they left home at 16?