Does anyone here regularly hate their own existence?

TheMagic8ball · 16/08/11 - 01:30

I find myself doing it a lot

Can't work out why.

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 01:35

TheMagic8ball wrote: »

I find myself doing it a lot Can't work out why.

I'm not sure I've hated my existence, but more times than I can count, I have been so low, I desperately wanted to die, but my survival instinct is too strong.

I won't give-up the fight - I will have to be defeated b life.
Life is short enough as it is, and you may just be surprised no matter how lonely you are, how many people will miss you and or be affected by your loss.

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 01:42

No, not since I had legit chemical depression. These days (ooh, it was maybe an entire year ago, haha) I hate other people's existence, and my proximity to those people. Marginally cheerier, that.

Jamsey123 · 16/08/11 - 01:51

I get pissed off with myself and I am socially retarded, I lose friends regularly and make friends even less. I am on my holidays and just stay alone in my room most days. Not into cutting and never wanted to kill myself, sometimes hit myself when i remeber something embarresing I have done in the past.
I think its better to live on, if you kill yourself you might miss something interesting that happens to you later in life.
One day you might just save someone elses life and that is definatly somethign to live for.

TheMagic8ball · 16/08/11 - 01:57

Also, sort of a side question does anyone here doubt there own sanity and mental stability?

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 02:01

Yes, but I tend to take mine to a rather strange level. It's a bit unhealthy...

Okay... I hate my weight problems, my ethnicity (I'm not racist, I just get freckles and sunburn LOL), my neighbourhood (or lack of), my school, my nail-biting, my social awkwardness etc.

Now this is where I think it gets weird....

I often daydream/fantasise about what life I would like.... in scary detail. I would have a half Italian-half Japanese mother and a half German-half Lebanese father (but I'd keep the personalities of my current parents, they're nice!). I would be from a quite wealthy family, with exotic annual family holidays. I would have an older sister (by 3 years) , a younger brother (by 2 years) and I would also have an older fraternal twin brother (with me being male also).

I would be atheist and pansexual, with brown hair, blue eyes, an olive complexion, fluent in German, Japanese (with me living there for the first few years of my life before moving to the likes of Belgravia in London) and of course English. I would be quite talented and interested in music (my forté would be electro and dance, with a bit of J-pop too) and I would have an interest in different languages, I would be kinda witty but also really caring and sensitive, with an amazing group of really close friends (like 4 or 5).... the details go on and on.

I've actually even mapped out what my grandparents' professions would have been and how my life would pan out, so I have gone into considerable detail in this.

I know it's a bit weird and I don't want to get hate but that's how I feel. Sometimes I think it's rather amusing and other times I think it's a waste of time and that it's wrong.

Anyways, that's my contribution.

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 02:03

TheMagic8ball wrote: »

Also, sort of a side question does anyone here doubt there own sanity and mental stability?

I take [very] strong anti depressants, so no, but before them, I did doubt my sanity and stability.

TheMagic8ball · 16/08/11 - 02:05

McMons†erMan wrote: »

Yes, but I tend to take mine to a rather strange level. It's a bit unhealthy...

Okay... I hate my weight problems, my ethnicity (I'm not racist, I just get freckles and sunburn LOL), my neighbourhood (or lack of), my school, my nail-biting, my social awkwardness etc.

Now this is where I think it gets weird....

I often daydream/fantasise about what life I would like.... in scary detail. I would have a half Italian-half Japanese mother and a half German-half Lebanese father (but I'd keep the personalities of my current parents, they're nice!). I would be from a quite wealthy family, with exotic annual family holidays. I would have an older sister (by 3 years) , a younger brother (by 2 years) and I would also have an older fraternal twin brother (with me being male also).

I would be atheist and pansexual, with brown hair, blue eyes, an olive complexion, fluent in German, Japanese (with me living there for the first few years of my life before moving to the likes of Belgravia in London) and of course English. I would be quite talented and interested in music (my forté would be electro and dance, with a bit of J-pop too) and I would have an interest in different languages, I would be kinda witty but also really caring and sensitive, with an amazing group of really close friends (like 4 or 5).... the details go on and on.

I've actually even mapped out what my grandparents' professions would have been and how my life would pan out, so I have gone into considerable detail in this.

I know it's a bit weird and I don't want to get hate but that's how I feel. Sometimes I think it's rather amusing and other times I think it's a waste of time and that it's wrong.

Anyways, that's my contribution.

I sort of fantasise about my ideal life too, it's very degrading and diminishes confidence.

Jamsey123 · 16/08/11 - 02:12

McMons†erMan wrote: »

Yes, but I tend to take mine to a rather strange level. It's a bit unhealthy...

Okay... I hate my weight problems, my ethnicity (I'm not racist, I just get freckles and sunburn LOL), my neighbourhood (or lack of), my school, my nail-biting, my social awkwardness etc.

Now this is where I think it gets weird....

I often daydream/fantasise about what life I would like.... in scary detail. I would have a half Italian-half Japanese mother and a half German-half Lebanese father (but I'd keep the personalities of my current parents, they're nice!). I would be from a quite wealthy family, with exotic annual family holidays. I would have an older sister (by 3 years) , a younger brother (by 2 years) and I would also have an older fraternal twin brother (with me being male also).

I would be atheist and pansexual, with brown hair, blue eyes, an olive complexion, fluent in German, Japanese (with me living there for the first few years of my life before moving to the likes of Belgravia in London) and of course English. I would be quite talented and interested in music (my forté would be electro and dance, with a bit of J-pop too) and I would have an interest in different languages, I would be kinda witty but also really caring and sensitive, with an amazing group of really close friends (like 4 or 5).... the details go on and on.

I've actually even mapped out what my grandparents' professions would have been and how my life would pan out, so I have gone into considerable detail in this.

I know it's a bit weird and I don't want to get hate but that's how I feel. Sometimes I think it's rather amusing and other times I think it's a waste of time and that it's wrong.

Anyways, that's my contribution.

I fantasize too, but the detail you go into is amazing, You know I think you have a creative mind and I think you should capitalize, I know it's likely you only fantisize about your own life but if you worked on harnessing that ability to come up with ideas you could use it to write novels or scripts among other things, your detail would come in very useful and with your own life background you could make your characters real people with social awkwardness, rather than super confident, superhandsom, ice cold heros and heroins.

Orangecrab · 16/08/11 - 04:23

I have had feelings of hating my existence quite often, but am now on anti depressants and don't feel too bad despite being quite lonely.

I often feel like having a break and going on holiday, but I don't intend to travel alone - I did this once and found it a very embarrassing and even stressful experience, and I had to pay extra (a single supplement).

Sara Webb · 16/08/11 - 05:47

McMons†erMan wrote: »

Yes, but I tend to take mine to a rather strange level. It's a bit unhealthy...

Okay... I hate my weight problems, my ethnicity (I'm not racist, I just get freckles and sunburn LOL), my neighbourhood (or lack of), my school, my nail-biting, my social awkwardness etc.

Now this is where I think it gets weird....

I often daydream/fantasise about what life I would like.... in scary detail. I would have a half Italian-half Japanese mother and a half German-half Lebanese father (but I'd keep the personalities of my current parents, they're nice!). I would be from a quite wealthy family, with exotic annual family holidays. I would have an older sister (by 3 years) , a younger brother (by 2 years) and I would also have an older fraternal twin brother (with me being male also).

I would be atheist and pansexual, with brown hair, blue eyes, an olive complexion, fluent in German, Japanese (with me living there for the first few years of my life before moving to the likes of Belgravia in London) and of course English. I would be quite talented and interested in music (my forté would be electro and dance, with a bit of J-pop too) and I would have an interest in different languages, I would be kinda witty but also really caring and sensitive, with an amazing group of really close friends (like 4 or 5).... the details go on and on.

I've actually even mapped out what my grandparents' professions would have been and how my life would pan out, so I have gone into considerable detail in this.

I know it's a bit weird and I don't want to get hate but that's how I feel. Sometimes I think it's rather amusing and other times I think it's a waste of time and that it's wrong.

Anyways, that's my contribution.

As someone once correctly informed me, "you have a writer's imagination".

If it's any consolation, I'm just as "nuts" as you are.

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 06:10

No one is generally ever happy with themselves....unless they have a large ego....you will find yourself being your own worst enemy...but you can't believe you can't live the life you want to have....first, you have to accept yourself as you are and learn how to appreciate yourself inside and outside...

My life is physical fitness...the gym is my sanctuary....anyone can transform their physical body if they want to....the mind however...needs some work to learn to appreciate and genuinely like who you are...once you do that...you can find purpose to your life..

SJ_Mental · 16/08/11 - 06:57

Yes, So much I could of achieved but dealing with everyone else's problems has left me with an empty existence with no hope of the life I would have wanted.

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 07:03

Generally at least twice a week, yes.

Nest · 16/08/11 - 07:17

I don't exactly hate my own existence, but in many life plans when I am looking at choices, suicide is always in there in a very matter of fact kind of way, a valid and sensible option ... I daresay that means it would never become a reality.

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 08:10

No but I do hate other people's existences on quite a regular basis. Gravity has a lot to answer for!

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 11:11

Sara Webb wrote: »

As someone once correctly informed me, "you have a writer's imagination".

If it's any consolation, I'm just as "nuts" as you are.

Jamsey123 wrote: »

I fantasize too, but the detail you go into is amazing, You know I think you have a creative mind and I think you should capitalize, I know it's likely you only fantisize about your own life but if you worked on harnessing that ability to come up with ideas you could use it to write novels or scripts among other things, your detail would come in very useful and with your own life background you could make your characters real people with social awkwardness, rather than super confident, superhandsom, ice cold heros and heroins.

It's strange that you say that because I do have a soap, a horror movie and an epic, dystopian, fantasy trilogy swirling around in my head.

far2cool · 16/08/11 - 11:14

Far too often!!!!

And then I start to hate general existence as a concept itself

lordOfTime · 16/08/11 - 11:14

Yes.

I do.

Shaiya · 16/08/11 - 11:17

Yes, I despise myself. I loathe myself.

I would fight myself on a boat. I would fight myself with a goat.

I would fight myself when the score is tired. I would fight myself as a blushing bride.

.Lauren. · 16/08/11 - 11:20

This all sounds so familiar.

Hugh Jboobs · 16/08/11 - 11:22

No, I absolutely love my life.

I regularly hate other people's existence though!

[Deleted User] · 16/08/11 - 11:23

Not my existance.. I love the fcat I exist.. I celebrate it everyday

I hate my bloody job tho' :mad:

Midiboy · 16/08/11 - 11:25

I get a bit low occasionally but I don't think I've ever truly hated my life.

Hobbes1966 · 16/08/11 - 11:34

First thing I thought this morning was, 'you're born, you struggle then you die' so yes, I do. Most times this just lasts a couple of days then I start to fight all over again. Life is good but sometimes it just gets tireing. I'm actually pleased I saw this thread, least its not just me.