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Anyone else got a child who has emigrated?
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Kind of sad situation. I never, ever look sad to her, because it is her life and she must make her own choices. But I miss her every single day.
I have actually had to sit down with her and discuss whether she would come home if a grandparent died (decided she mustn't feel too much pressure if it is difficult) or a parent died (yes). It has occurred to me that if I ever had a possibly terminal diagnosis I would have to do the 'goodbye, perhaps forever' visit. How hard would that be?
On a positive note, she does sound happy and we can talk on the phone every couple of weeks. (She lives somewhere with no electricity, so not every other day). And I keep telling myself that she was very, very ill with meningitis when she was a teenager, and if someone then had told me she would get better but live thousands of miles away I would have been SO relieved.
I wonder if anyone else is in a similar situation?
I have actually had to sit down with her and discuss whether she would come home if a grandparent died (decided she mustn't feel too much pressure if it is difficult) or a parent died (yes). It has occurred to me that if I ever had a possibly terminal diagnosis I would have to do the 'goodbye, perhaps forever' visit. How hard would that be?
On a positive note, she does sound happy and we can talk on the phone every couple of weeks. (She lives somewhere with no electricity, so not every other day). And I keep telling myself that she was very, very ill with meningitis when she was a teenager, and if someone then had told me she would get better but live thousands of miles away I would have been SO relieved.
I wonder if anyone else is in a similar situation?
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I feel for you though Wonkey, it must be hard. It's one thing to let go but to have them so far away...You must be proud that you've raised someone with the gumption to make a whole new life for themselves without the safety net of a parent nearby.
I only moved 7 miles away from my own parents and I harrass them every day with a phonecall. Maybe they wish I was further away!
You only ever want the best for your children and as Nets says you should be proud of her
I'm so sorry that it's difficult to adapt to your daughter's absence. My sister emigrated to Australia about ten years ago, but took the difficult decision to come home again after 5 or 6 six years, recognising that she'd gone to recover from a tricky relationship.
If it's any comfort, you can console yourself with the fact that you've clearly raised an independent, resourceful and adventurous daughter. I have 3 daughters of my own, and would be proud to be able to say that I'd achieved as much. Big hug ((((( )))))).
It does concern me that they will follow my lead and live thousands of miles from 'home'. But they don't seem to have that ambition yet as they love living here.
((((((HUG))))))) wonkey ,
My daughter was gone for a year and I missed her so much . I think time will help to accept it and help you cope .,I hope so .
I totally agree. As parents, giving our children confidence to strike out on their own can be heartbreaking for us but a truly memorable experience for them.
The wife's dad has lived in the USA for the last 10 years.
So essentially we are screwed if we want a free babysitter
You're reacting as any parent would. My mum was in bits when my sister decided to emigrate to America for 18 months.
IIRC your daughter is doing a lot of good out there in Africa. Be proud
X
Thanks. But I don't think it is 18 months. She has a partner and a dog, and they are talking about building a house. It was the dog that made me cry most (secretly). I thought that no one who is planning to come home buys a dog.
Oh I realise that, which is why it must be so much harder for you, especially at this time of year
I can offer virtual (((hugs)))
It sounds like you have been a brilliant mum, and you can be very proud to have raised such an independant daughter. Also, there are mothers and daughters who only live a couple of miles away from each otehr, but that don't have good relationships. It sounds like you have a really great relationship with your daughter and can have really honest discussions with her.
One of my brothers emigrated to Hong Kong this year, and it was difficult watching my 74 year old Mum hold back the tears on the day he left. Especially poignant as another of my brothers had just moved back to the UK, having been in the US for 15 years. It seems my close family are not destinted to be in the same country at the same time!
a wee hug for you. Its tough , especially if you are also being strong for your parents.