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Emma Chawner - the new Jade Goody? (Part 9)

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    I'd imagine she could managed without food for a good few weeks. The danger of electrocution would be quite high though.

    She might find herself a whole new leae of life and get herself down to the stables and commune with the horses. The conversation would be better than she gets now:D
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 263
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    Phil would have a breakdown in prison. How could he control them from jail?
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    t1t3h wrote: »
    Phil would have a breakdown in prison. How could he control them from jail?

    With the current overcrowding in our prisons they could share:eek:
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    greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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    LilAud wrote: »
    I take it that we are not going to go with my previous post of a 'Free the Chawner Three' campaign?

    Just so I know and can stop with designing the posters and getting meself on tv:D

    Let them rot in jail!!!!!!!!!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    greengran wrote: »
    Let them rot in jail!!!!!!!!!

    ROT being the operative word ROFL
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    chawlvischawlvis Posts: 201
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    LilAud wrote: »
    I take it that we are not going to go with my previous post of a 'Free the Chawner Three' campaign?

    Just so I know and can stop with designing the posters and getting meself on tv:D
    I would join a campaign to Free The Chawner Three, it sounds good fun - although a bit hopeless in view of their past misdemeanours. Perhaps we could make a trifle with a file in it instead?

    How is Phil going to spin this little story? He can't blame Director Dan and his editing this time. And how soon before the NZ fans realise that their favourite family aren't quite as inspirational, motivational and awesome as they have been led to believe?
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    LamaestraLamaestra Posts: 1,560
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    tonywilson wrote: »
    Bruce Springsteen?

    Close, Tony, but no cigar!

    The man in question is Sweden's answer to Bruce Springsteen - Tomas Ledin, a headmaster's son from Sandviken.
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    yorkiegalyorkiegal Posts: 18,929
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    Phils prison ode to Emma:


    She used to give me sausage,
    I wish she could again;
    But that was on the outside,
    And things were different then.

    We'd built our world together,
    With a love so weird and wrong;
    But that was on the outside.
    Where did i go wrong?

    *******************
    CHORUS
    On the inside the sausage is still served,
    And the ketchup pours down;
    But the meat and sauce are prisoners too,
    When morning comes around.

    *******************
    VERSE 2
    Last night i dreamed we were together,
    Sharing a bedroom with poor Aud;
    Til i had to face the nightmare,
    Of cleaning off her mould.

    *******************
    CHORUS
    On the inside my hair still shines (purple),
    And my illnesses abound;
    But the other lags are infected too,
    When morning comes around.

    On the inside the roses grow;
    They don't mind the stoney ground;
    But arranging flowers is a woman's job,
    And my legs are too unsound.

    *******************
    She used to share my hot tub,
    I wish she could again;
    But the showers here are lovely,
    Says my new cellmate Big Jim.
    ,
    .
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 283
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    Fantastic Yorkiegal:D
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    MehitabelMehitabel Posts: 936
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    :D:DBrilliant!
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 6,204
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    Great work there Yorkiegirl! :)
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    greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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    Absolutely brilliant Yorkiegal, .love it,love it.
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    chawlvischawlvis Posts: 201
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    I'm sure somewhere on this thread I've seen Chawnerised lyrics to Jailhouse Rock?

    The warden threw a party in Strangeways jail.
    Sister Act was there and they began to wail.
    The band was jumpin' and the joint began to swing.
    You should've heard those knocked out Chawners sing.
    Let's rock Everybody, let's rock.
    Everybody in the whole cell block
    was dancin' to the Chawners Rock.
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    i_am_a_gremlini_am_a_gremlin Posts: 3,722
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    Superb Yorkie!!!! :D
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 60
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    OMG - I think we are famous :D

    A lot of people are talking about us on Phil's facebook - think someone will get defriended as they have been honest and told Phil not to just friend anyone :D

    I reckon by Sunday we will have a TV Programme in the making and be proper famous ;)

    Just going to untidy the house and put all my fatty food on display while I wait for the camera crew
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    wannabegothchavwannabegothchav Posts: 1,690
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    Yorkiegal - I love you, and if you're ever in my neck of the woods I have the full box set of the real series hahahaha!!!
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    greengrangreengran Posts: 4,129
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    Yorkiegal - I love you, and if you're ever in my neck of the woods I have the full box set of the real series hahahaha!!!

    What, Prisoner Cell Block H? One of the best Aussie soaps ever! The only other one to come close was 'The Young Doctors' with the wobbly sets.
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    chawlvischawlvis Posts: 201
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    OMG - I think we are famous :D

    A lot of people are talking about us on Phil's facebook - think someone will get defriended as they have been honest and told Phil not to just friend anyone :D

    I reckon by Sunday we will have a TV Programme in the making and be proper famous ;)

    Just going to untidy the house and put all my fatty food on display while I wait for the camera crew
    Are you the famous facebook hacking spy that is digital?:eek:

    Maybe Phil will cull his friends list now, but how can he work out which of his friends are genuine? He doesn't actually know any of them. I've long suspected at least 50% of his friends are there for the comedy value of his rantings and not because they seriously seek his friendship.
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    _radioamerica_radioamerica Posts: 4,921
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    Folsom Prison blues.

    I hear the pie a'coming
    I'm going round the bend
    And I aint seen my penis,
    since I don't know when
    I'm stuck in strangeways prison
    And pies keep passing on
    When I smell that pie van coming,
    I hang my head and cry.

    When I was just a young man,
    My mother told me, son
    Always eat your dinner
    You don't know when more will come
    But I never did stop eating
    Never let a pie pass me by
    When I smell that pie van coming
    I hang my head and cry.

    I bet there's poor folks eating
    In a fancy place called gregs
    They're probably drinking milkshake
    And smoking cigarettes
    I didn't know I had it coming
    I know I should be free
    But that pie van keeps a'rolling
    and thats what tortures me.

    Well if they free'd me from this prison
    If that pie van was mine
    I wouldn't sell to no one
    The pies would all be mine
    Far from strangeways prison
    Thats where I want to stay
    and I'd let the many pie crusts
    Blow all my blues away.
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    wannabegothchavwannabegothchav Posts: 1,690
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    greengran wrote: »
    What, Prisoner Cell Block H? One of the best Aussie soaps ever! The only other one to come close was 'The Young Doctors' with the wobbly sets.

    Yup one of my favourite programmes of all time. I also loved Sunset Beach, if I could get that on Boxset I would die a happy Gothchav!!

    Nice folsom work around (cant work out how to do multiquotes!)
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    yorkiegalyorkiegal Posts: 18,929
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    haha love it radioamerica
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 60
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    Love this
    Hi phil do u n the fam do payed apperanses for events? Wud I ave 2 go threw ur agent? If so hw do i contct dem?
    Philip Chawner - Please contact our agent Amanda stocks or Rebecca smith on amanda@exclusivepressandpublicity.com or
    rebecca@exclusivepressandpublicity.com
    or telephone 02031426690

    So who wants to be the first to see how much they charge and whether you pay in cash or sausages (smart price only), trifle or even fruit and veg :D
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    chawlvischawlvis Posts: 201
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    Love this





    So who wants to be the first to see how much they charge and whether you pay in cash or sausages (smart price only), trifle or even fruit and veg :D
    I'll do it. It's my workmate's 50th in June and I am in charge of organising the entertainment for her. A personal appearance by the Chawners would be amazing.

    But what would they actually do? Sit there, and sign autographs for bemused party goers? Sing? Dance? Tell jokes? Whether I have to pay in sausages or cash, I want value for money.

    Everyone at work wants me to book Fake That though.:( Bobby Williams is apparently as good, if not better, than the real thing.
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 60
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    Phil has really got the hump with us
    Hi everyone I am not putting no more info on here has there is friends on here making out to be friends but they are not just to get info and put it on digital spy and if I find out who it is you will be blocked saying on digital spy am only friend with him to get info I do not call that friends
    :D

    Why does he not just come and join us and out his side of the story across?
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    The PrumeisterThe Prumeister Posts: 22,398
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    ^What an absolute idiot Phil Chawner is.... FFS, why make yoiur profile open to all and why accept friend requests from strangers:confused::confused: He really isn't the sharpest tool....
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