Im with you OP, Id rather someone text or call to see if Im free and wanting to hang out and have a natter. But then again, Im a bit anxious and a random knock at the door does my heart beat a little faster and sometimes get a bit flustered. If its just the postman/woman, then I feel relieved, but if its a friend, I do feel a bit put out. Dont get me wrong, out of the very few friends I have, I do like to see, but unexpected social situations are different. Even if someone was to say, coming round in an hour, I would feel so much better, it gives my mind time to prepare, so to speak. A little bit of advance warning isnt too much ask at all.
My ex and I were at opposite ends of the spectrum. Like you, I can tolerate my own company for days, and sometimes weeks, at a time. She can't bear to be alone for more than an hour. She's constantly in touch with or visiting other folk in addition to going out to a social club from Friday to Sunday.
Since we parted company, she fits in a visit to me on a monday or tuesday, whether I want it or not . The point is, we were together for twenty two years and had to learn to compromise. Her with my hermit like tendencies and me with her social butterfly impulses.
We live a little 'out of the way' so we very rarely have unexpected visitors. It's quite a drive to our place so people ring first. I would hate it though but o/h probably wouldn't be too bothered.
Oh, nearly all my friends phone, but if occasionally they don't I can feel annoyed, but not for long, as I love em and am happy to see them anyway.
I do it to one particular friend, who bears with me (always switching her damned phone number, and she gives it to me on a bit of paper that I lose). She just told me when she's available and to come any damned time.
I've got the latest number now mind.
Friends have to be borne with, they have to put up with you too.
And if you really are NOT in the mood, just tell em. If they're real friends they understand that calling on spec doesn't mean automatic entrance and entertainment.
I think it's rude to be unwelcoming to guests.
Regardless of an invite or not, I always remember my manners and welcome the company. It's a good thing someone has taken time out of their day to visit.
My Nan told me years ago to put my coat on if there was an unexpected knock at the door. That way, if it was someone I wanted to stay, I could say I had just gotten in and if it was someone I didn't like I could say I was on my way out.
Trouble is I said I was on my way out to town for groceries to someone I didn't want to spend time with and she insisted on giving me a lift (I don't drive) and waiting for me while I did my shopping and gave me a lift home. Very nice of her and I felt awfully guilty but she is such an annoying person and she stayed at mine for hours when we got home.
I think it's rude to be unwelcoming to guests.
Regardless of an invite or not, I always remember my manners and welcome the company. It's a good thing someone has taken time out of their day to visit.
I don't give people the impression they can ever just, pop round, in the first place. If its anyone interesting they will have phoned/text me first. Or the police.
I had an aunt who was a real pest when it came to visiting. She never, ever knocked, she just came right in and was so silent she could have been a ninja. You’d only know she was there when you’d turn around and she’d be standing behind you. And if we weren’t in she’d just go to the neighbour’s house and do the same.
If we locked the doors, she would just peer through the windows. She never made any attempt to ring the bell or knock. On the other hand if you went to visit her it was like getting into Fort Knox.
I'm with the OP on this. I really don't like people just dropping in without warning - actually I think it's a bit rude, and I certainly would never do it to anyone.
I dont get unexpected visitors. People always ring in advance as they/I never know when I'll even be in the house, so its a wasted journey sometimes if they just showed up.
It's very annoying when people turn up out of the blue uninvited, it's like they couldn't stay away and couldn't fight it. Ignoring the door usually works.
I told my colleagues that I don't answer the door to uninvited people; they looked at me like I was mad! Fine by me, at least I have peace and quiet and the bliss of not having to deal with feeling irritated by unexpected guests!
I have a wireless door bell and if I am not expecting a parcel then the batteries are not in it!
Friends know my mobile number and if I want them around, as I often do, I invite them around. If not, I say I'm busy or don't answer the phone.
I dictate what happens in my life, not others.
Now we have the new work for Royal Mail without pay scheme whereby they knock on your door with someone else's parcel for you to arrange delivery for for them whilst they save money! Doesn't matter if you are doing a nightshift, you are there to do their work for them!
Now we have the new work for Royal Mail without pay scheme whereby they knock on your door with someone else's parcel for you to arrange delivery for for them whilst they save money! Doesn't matter if you are doing a nightshift, you are there to do their work for them!
Just think of it as being kind and neighbourly, and then you won't get so stressed.
Comments
Just saying, there's little to complain about in the scenario described in the OP.
Since we parted company, she fits in a visit to me on a monday or tuesday, whether I want it or not . The point is, we were together for twenty two years and had to learn to compromise. Her with my hermit like tendencies and me with her social butterfly impulses.
I do it to one particular friend, who bears with me (always switching her damned phone number, and she gives it to me on a bit of paper that I lose). She just told me when she's available and to come any damned time.
I've got the latest number now mind.
Friends have to be borne with, they have to put up with you too.
And if you really are NOT in the mood, just tell em. If they're real friends they understand that calling on spec doesn't mean automatic entrance and entertainment.
Regardless of an invite or not, I always remember my manners and welcome the company. It's a good thing someone has taken time out of their day to visit.
Trouble is I said I was on my way out to town for groceries to someone I didn't want to spend time with and she insisted on giving me a lift (I don't drive) and waiting for me while I did my shopping and gave me a lift home. Very nice of her and I felt awfully guilty but she is such an annoying person and she stayed at mine for hours when we got home.
Don't be so rude. People are entitled to alone time.
No OP, you're not being a grumpy old hermit.
Not really. I dont agree. They are the rude ones.
I disagree. They don't have any ill intention.
LOL
If we locked the doors, she would just peer through the windows. She never made any attempt to ring the bell or knock. On the other hand if you went to visit her it was like getting into Fort Knox.
Friends know my mobile number and if I want them around, as I often do, I invite them around. If not, I say I'm busy or don't answer the phone.
I dictate what happens in my life, not others.
Now we have the new work for Royal Mail without pay scheme whereby they knock on your door with someone else's parcel for you to arrange delivery for for them whilst they save money! Doesn't matter if you are doing a nightshift, you are there to do their work for them!
Or they could just not answer the door! Either way its no biggie really.
Unless I am missing something ?