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Proof of Fraud
[Deleted User]
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Hi there, me again but this time I've found something new to ask about!
I will not go into huge detail, basically yesterday I found out I've been defrauded over £150 from my account. I have a good idea who's done it, however they are not admitting to it. I reported my situation to both the bank and the police, who offered to charge the person I suspect, however I do not feel comfortable with this with basically nothing to go on. Plus (big surprise) it's a family member and I don't want to mess up our whole family situation (further) by going in all guns blazing when nothing could come of it, other than breaking our family apart.
I have an idea of how to find the proof myself, should I just let the bank look into it first? Should I let the police get involved? Or should I just leave it and hope the bank will pay the money back? It's left me in a very bad financial situation, if they don't see it as fraud I will probably face some extra charges as it's taken me far over my limit and I cannot pay it back at the moment. Any help appreciated, thanks.
I will not go into huge detail, basically yesterday I found out I've been defrauded over £150 from my account. I have a good idea who's done it, however they are not admitting to it. I reported my situation to both the bank and the police, who offered to charge the person I suspect, however I do not feel comfortable with this with basically nothing to go on. Plus (big surprise) it's a family member and I don't want to mess up our whole family situation (further) by going in all guns blazing when nothing could come of it, other than breaking our family apart.
I have an idea of how to find the proof myself, should I just let the bank look into it first? Should I let the police get involved? Or should I just leave it and hope the bank will pay the money back? It's left me in a very bad financial situation, if they don't see it as fraud I will probably face some extra charges as it's taken me far over my limit and I cannot pay it back at the moment. Any help appreciated, thanks.
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What I mean is there is proof, but it's nothing "solid". Plus this person has previous of doing the exact same thing. It's more me trying to stop myself from getting the police involved just yet, it's family (young family at that), but I know they've done it before and it seems they have done it again. What I don't want is getting the police involved if there is not going to be an outcome where this person actually pays for what they did for once, instead of being made out to be some social victim themselves (like last time).
Haha Scooby Doo . Totally get where you're coming from, but the last time this happened, I phoned up the gaming company where the money had been spent and they gave me some information that was certainly a better back-up when speaking to the police. I just don't want them accusing me of making this all up - they have done before with other people who have accused the one I suspect. In fact, they have earned the nicked name "Teflon" in our house - nothing sticks :mad:.
You are in an unenviable quandry and you must decide between family and self. If the bank's fraud department actively pursues fraudsters then presumably the trail will lead back to your family member and the bank will inform the police. If, however, the bank refunds you and writes off the fraud then this will be a good outcome in the short term.
If the bank suspects any duplicity then you could find yourself between a rock and a hard place.
Well, that ship has sailed, hasn't it?
You said in your initial post that :
I worked in Banking for 30 years and we had an incident where a customer called and asked the dealer to sell some shares, the following day the shares shot up in price and the customer said he had never made the call, of course this was in the days when calls were not recorded.
It was the cutomers word against the dealer so the Bank bought the shares back in, gave them to the customer then sent him a cheque for the balance of his account together with a letter saying his account was now closed and to make alternative arrangements.
So you have a choice, either accept you have lost £150-00 or tell the bank the complete truth, get the money back and risk upsetting family.
Sorry I don't mean to sound harsh but do you think it fair that this family member can keep cheating like this and get away with it?.....he/she is a thief and while family closes ranks and wont do anything they will think they are on to a good thing, £150-00 this time, next time £500-00 maybe, think about it.
Good luck.
I think you are taken what I said slightly wrong, I rang the non-emergency number just to see how the whole thing would be dealt with, I want them to deal with the person who did it, I would just rather be solid proof first!
I was honest with the bank. I should clarify, I am not trying to protect this person - I'm just upset they have done this again. I should also clarify, this person used my bank details to download things from devices I do not own (e.g game console). The family member I suspect has a very bright future ahead of them, will most certainly go to a top university if they stopped doing these stupid, selfish things. It is not the family who's trying to protect this person, we have tried endless times to get them help so they don't end up in a bad situation. However, it's gone too far this time. It's the first time such a large amount of money has gone in such a short space of time, all together, in a space of two years (both through using details online and taking from purses) it add up to a substantial amount.
Sorry if I've seemed to contradict myself in places. It's hard to explain it all and what I'm trying to do or avoid doing. It's been a tough couple of days, I'm very upset to be honest. I have done everything I can for this person over the last couple of months, even though things have been tough in other aspects of my life as well.
How has this person got your bank details? The first thing I would do is change my pin numbers and get a new card.
They were staying with me over the holidays (they are usually with me half the time and at another home the other half). My purse is usually around in my bag, they get up at 7am most mornings so ample opportunity to take my debit card. My pin isn't the problem as it was all done online and I've ordered a new card (bank were blooming stupid and didn't even offer to block my current card! Had to ask them to do so).
I don't understand why you're protecting him/her they have committed fraud against you, report it to the police and let them deal with it!
Otherwise they are just going to carry on doing this
Well you certainly couldn't when I worked in banking.
Because they are barely in their teenage years and like I said previously, bar this stupid behavior they have a very bright future ahead of them. I don't want to be the one who ruins that, however this will seriously affect my financial situation so cannot go unreported.
We share a parent, and the one we share is in no position to help at the moment.
Sorry, yes I blocked my old card and they are sending another.
If he's perhaps addicted to gaming perhaps getting him/her some help that could be a place to start..?
Do they have a social worker or family support at all?
Bear in mind the bank will come down very heavily on you if you are not protecting your PIN / account details and are unlikely to refund. If you suffer more fraud in the future it will be on record and you will be classed as a bad risk.
I have a nephew very similar - bright lad but been dealt a terrible hand in life and is hell bent on screwing his future too.
You are not the one ruining his future - he is doing that himself.
Can he get a paper round/ car washing or something to earn the money back? If not you have to let the police continue with their enquires.
I'm not asking whether or not they should be dealt with, they should if they are the one who committed the crime! I'm asking whether I should look myself for more solid proof or should I wait it out until the bank comes back to me about what's going on. I'm not naive, this isn't going to end in a great way, I just want to make sure I am doing everything right before involving the serious authorities for the sake of a young person.
It's not an addiction, it's more of a "I've seen it, I want it now, I don't care how" behavior. It's been like this ever since I can remember. They could pay it back, however they won't even admit they did it at the moment, hence having to tell the authorities that fraud has been committed and I need to know who and how. They could well come down heavy on me, but it seem very unfair, why should I have to hide my purse in my own home, from my own family? Especially when said family knows the money situation is very tight at the moment. We do have social worker support, I'm very worried they will think that I have done something to cause this behavior though, even though I know I have done nothing but be supportive of my sibling whilst dealing with the other issues going on.
Then give them one chance and only one chance to admit it. Make it clear you are not accusing or blaming, just asking for their help in solving it otherwise it will have to be escalated "to find the real culprit". Then leave it to the police / bank and be there for the fall out. Be honest with the Social worker or else they can't provide the right help. And stop with the guilt trip - you are the victim here!!
Your bank won't do anything in terms of trying to uncover who is behind the fraudulent transactions on your account. They will simply chargeback the amounts and leave the online merchants wearing the loss.
I agree; it seems he's got away with so much that he now feels he's invulnerable. With that sort of attitude, what's he going to be like when he grows up?
The OP could be doing him a favour by showing him, before it's too late, that actions have consequences.