Fair enough. I know lots of women with gay male friends, who don't seem to mind a gay man telling them 'oh your bum looks fat in that, you look terrible!', but if a straight guy or one of their girlfriends said the same thing they'd be mortally offended...
Women have been letting gay men undermine their confidence for decades. You only have to look at the world of fashion to see that.
They'll try and say it's straight men who tell them they are fat or don't look good in that dress, but who designed the damn thing in the first place, hmm?
I think that's how society sees them rather than how they identify.
Everything is viewed through the eyes of a straight man, one who wants to shag lesbians but doesn't trust a bisexual man.
Very true, yeah! But i think how society sees you has a big impact on how you self-identify, so...
That can't be right, surely? And don't think I'm prejudiced, one of my brothers is gay, I've always had gay and lesbian friends - but I just realised that there seems to be like 10 gay guys for every lesbian. Are the numbers roughly the same, or are there indeed more gay men than women? Or are the men more likely to be open and 'out there'? Just curious, homophobes please do not pollute this thread with any of your nonsense.
Could it appear that way because the women dont stand on street corners shouting that they are gay?
Very true, yeah! But i think how society sees you has a big impact on how you self-identify, so...
Yes probably it's closely related. But don't you think maybe, women who call themselves bi will do so for attention and get more sex, and bi men will get less and bad attention.
One thing though, why would lesbian women want to call themselves bi? They don't want male attention.
I think every survey to try and find out what percentage of people are gay comes up with a different result, but some suggest there are twice as many gay men as gay women. But then there's more bi women than bi men. About 98% are on dating sites, it seems.
Really I don't actively seek straight female friends. In fact I don't actually like it, not my bag. Too many hang ups. I am ay by the way.
It's just like that stereotype "every girl needs a gay best friend!" I don't. I don't have any gay male friends. I am friendly with a lot of gay men but I prefer to hang around other women, straight or gay.
Every woman I know who claims to be a lesbian has slept with men, even after coming out as lesbian. I'm sure just as many women as men are bisexual, but when it comes to exclusively being attracted to ones own sex, I think lesbians are extremely rare.
I think that there are two different subcultures, one of gay men and one of gay women and the two don't seem to overlap that much (except politically around equality issues). It seems to me that the subculture of gay men is more visible to those who aren't a member of either group, and (perhaps) has a tendency to dominate the gay social scene.
I don't necessarily think there are more gay men than women, just that it is easier to identify them.
That can't be right, surely? And don't think I'm prejudiced, one of my brothers is gay, I've always had gay and lesbian friends - but I just realised that there seems to be like 10 gay guys for every lesbian. Are the numbers roughly the same, or are there indeed more gay men than women? Or are the men more likely to be open and 'out there'? Just curious, homophobes please do not pollute this thread with any of your nonsense.
You should explore other parts of town other than Hampstead Heath.
Also, look at the snidey comments Clare Balding gets from people like AA Gill. If he wrote stuff about a gay man in that way, he'd possibly get dropped by his paper.
If a high profile gay woman like her is still seen as 'fair game', maybe it's no wonder some gay women may choose to come out only to those closest to them.
Hmm, I can't say I've put much thought into it in the past. Perhaps you need to wonder if gay females can look more 'straight' than a lot of gay males and there are just as many gay females but are not 'seen'?
One thing I've noticed over the years is it appears to be more common for women to come out later in life post-marriage/kids, whereas men seem to come out younger (and in fact, much younger now than they did when I was young).
I'd wager it's easier for a woman to conform to the heteronormative ideal until the reality of having to do it for the rest of their life sets in, whereas men need to be able to get an erection.
That can't be right, surely? And don't think I'm prejudiced, one of my brothers is gay, I've always had gay and lesbian friends - but I just realised that there seems to be like 10 gay guys for every lesbian. Are the numbers roughly the same, or are there indeed more gay men than women? Or are the men more likely to be open and 'out there'? Just curious, homophobes please do not pollute this thread with any of your nonsense.
Regardless of this I predict that by the end of this century, heterosexuals will be the ones coming out of the closet...if current trends are anything to go by.
Every woman I know who claims to be a lesbian has slept with men, even after coming out as lesbian. I'm sure just as many women as men are bisexual, but when it comes to exclusively being attracted to ones own sex, I think lesbians are extremely rare.
OMG and I think you actually believe that. I am astounded.
I think it has to do with lifestyle. The so-called lesbian capital of Britain is a sleepy, cosy, market town in Yorkshire. The so-called gay capital of Britain is a manic, extravagant theme park by the beach. These are generalisations, obviously, but broadly speaking, most lesbians don't seem as loud and declarative as gays. They just seem to go on doing their own thing and quietly shack up with other girls.
I think it has to do with lifestyle. The so-called lesbian capital of Britain is a sleepy, cosy, market town in Yorkshire. The so-called gay capital of Britain is a manic, extravagant theme park by the beach. These are generalisations, obviously, but broadly speaking, most lesbians don't seem as loud and declarative as gays. They just seem to go on doing their own thing and quietly shack up with other girls.
If you mean Brighton, manic, yes, extravagant, no, just run down and a bit sleazy. Harrogate is a bit more tasteful:D
I think that there are two different subcultures, one of gay men and one of gay women and the two don't seem to overlap that much (except politically around equality issues). It seems to me that the subculture of gay men is more visible to those who aren't a member of either group, and (perhaps) has a tendency to dominate the gay social scene.
I don't necessarily think there are more gay men than women, just that it is easier to identify them.
I agree with that. I also think that it's got to do with gender roles. No one bats an eyelid when straight women kiss and hug or hold hands out of affection, so I'm sure it's easier for lesbians to 'fly under the radar' without people going "Oh, right - so she's gay."
Comments
Women have been letting gay men undermine their confidence for decades. You only have to look at the world of fashion to see that.
They'll try and say it's straight men who tell them they are fat or don't look good in that dress, but who designed the damn thing in the first place, hmm?
Could it appear that way because the women dont stand on street corners shouting that they are gay?
Yes probably it's closely related. But don't you think maybe, women who call themselves bi will do so for attention and get more sex, and bi men will get less and bad attention.
One thing though, why would lesbian women want to call themselves bi? They don't want male attention.
That's because of multiple orgasms. Blokes just have more spare time.
It's just like that stereotype "every girl needs a gay best friend!" I don't. I don't have any gay male friends. I am friendly with a lot of gay men but I prefer to hang around other women, straight or gay.
I don't necessarily think there are more gay men than women, just that it is easier to identify them.
You should explore other parts of town other than Hampstead Heath.
If a high profile gay woman like her is still seen as 'fair game', maybe it's no wonder some gay women may choose to come out only to those closest to them.
Anyway, thanks for the input, if it's all the same with everyone I'm going to go with the theory that loads of women are secretly lezzing up. Cor!
I'd wager it's easier for a woman to conform to the heteronormative ideal until the reality of having to do it for the rest of their life sets in, whereas men need to be able to get an erection.
Regardless of this I predict that by the end of this century, heterosexuals will be the ones coming out of the closet...if current trends are anything to go by.
OMG and I think you actually believe that. I am astounded.
What woman, gay or straight, could fail to fall for Freeman's charms. And if that fails, he can simply whip out his monster trouser snake.
Oh its that poster. Completely hadn't realised. Daft virginal bugger that he is.
If you mean Brighton, manic, yes, extravagant, no, just run down and a bit sleazy. Harrogate is a bit more tasteful:D
I agree with that. I also think that it's got to do with gender roles. No one bats an eyelid when straight women kiss and hug or hold hands out of affection, so I'm sure it's easier for lesbians to 'fly under the radar' without people going "Oh, right - so she's gay."
I stand corrected.