I just wish she'd listened to the first lot. She ended up taking the children to a refuge without telling their dad where they were and it's just caused stress for everyone, the children most of all, and she's been ordered by a judge to return.
I don't know if this is going to have an effect on her case for residency. Stupid bloody Mumsnet and stupid bloody sister.
You do realise that the whole point in a woman's refuge is that you don't tell the abusive partner where your going?
You do realise that the whole point in a woman's refuge is that you don't tell the abusive partner where your going?
Yes. I worded it badly.
There was no domestic violence in their relationship, to her or to the children.
She wanted him to leave the house but he refused.
She took the children to a refuge, without telling him they were leaving. He thought she was visiting friends.
I can understand the reasons for that if there was genuine violence, but there wasn't. It was her way of trying to control the situation and get her own way regarding the house, the possessions, maintenance, etc.
There was no domestic violence in their relationship, to her or to the children.
She wanted him to leave the house but he refused.
She took the children to a refuge, without telling him they were leaving. He thought she was visiting friends.
I can understand the reasons for that if there was genuine violence, but there wasn't. It was her way of trying to control the situation and get her own way regarding the house, the possessions, maintenance, etc.
Oh I see.
That does put an entirely different spin on things.
Refuges are not really nice places. They are a safe haven for women and children and who are victims of domestic violence obviously, but I can't believe anyone would want to go into one unless they absolutely had no choice
I just wish she'd listened to the first lot. She ended up taking the children to a refuge without telling their dad where they were and it's just caused stress for everyone, the children most of all, and she's been ordered by a judge to return.
I don't know if this is going to have an effect on her case for residency. Stupid bloody Mumsnet and stupid bloody sister.
To be fair to Mumsnet, if you are stupid enough to follow idiotic advice I don't really think you can blame them.
I've read what those Mumsnetters wrote. They convinced her that arguing was domestic violence and that her children were at risk.
Yes, she was stupid but I maintain that they were as well.
Well indeed I don't disagree with that at all.
THe problem with Mumsnet is that "domestic violence" is their go to response to any woman who is having even the vaguest problems with her husband. Its not just occasionally either.
Anyone with half a brain knows that arguing is not domestic violence. So I totally agree, she was stupid and they are stupid.
THe problem with Mumsnet is that "domestic violence" is their go to response to any woman who is having even the vaguest problems with her husband. Its not just occasionally either.
Anyone with half a brain knows that arguing is not domestic violence. So I totally agree, she was stupid and they are stupid.
I hope it all gets sorted out anyway
Agreed.
The battle lines have been drawn now though, and it's going to get nastier. It's all rather sad.
THe problem with Mumsnet is that "domestic violence" is their go to response to any woman who is having even the vaguest problems with her husband. Its not just occasionally either.
Anyone with half a brain knows that arguing is not domestic violence. So I totally agree, she was stupid and they are stupid.
Yup. Some of those morons have convinced themselves that arguing is abuse and verbal abuse is a form of violence. Oh and he'll also quickly be labelled an abusive, controlling, manipulative bully - and that's just based on a woman reporting that she and her partner argue.
Yup. Some of those morons have convinced themselves that arguing is abuse and verbal abuse is a form of violence. Oh and he'll also quickly be labelled an abusive, controlling, manipulative bully - and that's just based on a woman reporting that she and her partner argue.
I really really dislike women that try to persuade other women that men are generally abusive bullies. I have found that men are mostly anything but.
The owner of mumsnet frequents radio 4 occasionally, they see her as some sort of expert in childcare rather than just some old bird who runs a website
19 year old boy attached to a cuddly toy and he manages to get a girlfriend (sorry, GF). That has to be made up.:rolleyes:
They have a complete range from laid back moderates to man hating feminists who will gladly give a "sister" "helpful" advice. Some threads are dominated by one or the other instead of a sensible balance, and act without the usual restraint they would in real life.
Spent a few months over there and eventually got banned a couple of weeks back. I was accused of trolling, as i didn't toe the party line. The place is riddled with 'Object' members and Rad feminists. Their hatred for things like porn and lap dancing clubs is extreme and something i have never witnessed on any other forum. Also they are unable to have a reasoned debate without resorting to personal insults.
A typical thread goes something like ' just found out that DP* has been looking at porn and am devastated and don't know what to do?' Replies back will be something like ' that blokes a wrong un! my DH would never look at such filth, how can you be with a man who objectifies women like, leave the b*****d now!'
See there's yet another 'husband likes porn' debate going on at the moment in the 'discussions of the day'
On the other hand i found rival site Netmums to be a lot more down to earth and reasonable.
'If he can't 'put down the porn' - knowing how much it upsets you, and knowing how you feel about how it exploits women, who may be the victims of trafficking, or drugged, or killed afterwards - I worry about any children raised by such a man. I am also deeply concerned about how controlling he is, effectively 'silencing' you and your sincere concerns. Does he REALLY need to drive you to tears just so he can leer over other women while pleasuring himself? What a creep. Luckily my fella has no interest in the stuff and actually campaigns against it, but I'm just lucky I guess. Does he hit you or the kids?'
'If he can't 'put down the porn' - knowing how much it upsets you, and knowing how you feel about how it exploits women, who may be the victims of trafficking, or drugged, or killed afterwards - I worry about any children raised by such a man. I am also deeply concerned about how controlling he is, effectively 'silencing' you and your sincere concerns. Does he REALLY need to drive you to tears just so he can leer over other women while pleasuring himself? What a creep. Luckily my fella has no interest in the stuff and actually campaigns against it, but I'm just lucky I guess. Does he hit you or the kids?'
Found two more threads, one where her partner asked her what she wanted for her birthday and another whos partner found a chocolate bar in her drawer at work (she's pregnant). Not sure how it happened but by the end of page 1 they had both been told to 'leave the bastard'.
'If he can't 'put down the porn' - knowing how much it upsets you, and knowing how you feel about how it exploits women, who may be the victims of trafficking, or drugged, or killed afterwards - I worry about any children raised by such a man. I am also deeply concerned about how controlling he is, effectively 'silencing' you and your sincere concerns. Does he REALLY need to drive you to tears just so he can leer over other women while pleasuring himself? What a creep. Luckily my fella has no interest in the stuff and actually campaigns against it, but I'm just lucky I guess. Does he hit you or the kids?'
Comments
You do realise that the whole point in a woman's refuge is that you don't tell the abusive partner where your going?
Yes. I worded it badly.
There was no domestic violence in their relationship, to her or to the children.
She wanted him to leave the house but he refused.
She took the children to a refuge, without telling him they were leaving. He thought she was visiting friends.
I can understand the reasons for that if there was genuine violence, but there wasn't. It was her way of trying to control the situation and get her own way regarding the house, the possessions, maintenance, etc.
Oh I see.
That does put an entirely different spin on things.
Refuges are not really nice places. They are a safe haven for women and children and who are victims of domestic violence obviously, but I can't believe anyone would want to go into one unless they absolutely had no choice
Long enough for the mods to notice. If it was a Mccann thread it would have whooshed many moons ago
To be fair to Mumsnet, if you are stupid enough to follow idiotic advice I don't really think you can blame them.
I've read what those Mumsnetters wrote. They convinced her that arguing was domestic violence and that her children were at risk.
Yes, she was stupid but I maintain that they were as well.
Well indeed I don't disagree with that at all.
THe problem with Mumsnet is that "domestic violence" is their go to response to any woman who is having even the vaguest problems with her husband. Its not just occasionally either.
Anyone with half a brain knows that arguing is not domestic violence. So I totally agree, she was stupid and they are stupid.
I hope it all gets sorted out anyway
Agreed.
The battle lines have been drawn now though, and it's going to get nastier. It's all rather sad.
Yup. Some of those morons have convinced themselves that arguing is abuse and verbal abuse is a form of violence. Oh and he'll also quickly be labelled an abusive, controlling, manipulative bully - and that's just based on a woman reporting that she and her partner argue.
I really really dislike women that try to persuade other women that men are generally abusive bullies. I have found that men are mostly anything but.
That thread kept me entertained for AGES. Please post some more
Medicine you stick up your flange!
Suppository goes up your bum!
A bit like here really.
Thanks. Sounds interesting :eek:
Ah, I can see you are in the medical profession with those anatomically accurate descriptions.;)
As in the "front bottom", Thanks
A typical thread goes something like ' just found out that DP* has been looking at porn and am devastated and don't know what to do?' Replies back will be something like ' that blokes a wrong un! my DH would never look at such filth, how can you be with a man who objectifies women like, leave the b*****d now!'
See there's yet another 'husband likes porn' debate going on at the moment in the 'discussions of the day'
On the other hand i found rival site Netmums to be a lot more down to earth and reasonable.
*DP = Darling partner or Double penetration;)
'If he can't 'put down the porn' - knowing how much it upsets you, and knowing how you feel about how it exploits women, who may be the victims of trafficking, or drugged, or killed afterwards - I worry about any children raised by such a man. I am also deeply concerned about how controlling he is, effectively 'silencing' you and your sincere concerns. Does he REALLY need to drive you to tears just so he can leer over other women while pleasuring himself? What a creep. Luckily my fella has no interest in the stuff and actually campaigns against it, but I'm just lucky I guess. Does he hit you or the kids?'
Their logic astounds me!
Actually he forgot, "call the police now and have him for domestic abuse, book yourself into a refuge and never let him see the kids again, ever!"