One Valentines Day, sent a load of colleagues a card each with a personal message inside. I did it all in stencil, so they could not identify the handwriting. I t was quite a laugh really.:D
I've told this once before. I was once coming home from a week long course in Derby. On a train with a bunch of blokes. All drinking cans of beer. The carriage door slides open and a guy comes up the aisle pissed as a newt, swaggering towards the bar.
A minute later I decide to go to the loo so did an impression of this drunk guy walking up the aisle. Came back, sat down thinking nothing of it.
Then the sliding doors opened again and he came back, staggering down the aisle with a packet of sarnies and a coke.
He wasn't drunk, he was disabled. Have you ever wanted to jump off a train at 125mph?
I dressed as Easter Bunny to go to see someone in a childrens hospital, which was fine but not when you have to walk back through streets of Glasgow to get your car
I've told this once before. I was once coming home from a week long course in Derby. On a train with a bunch of blokes. All drinking cans of beer. The carriage door slides open and a guy comes up the aisle pissed as a newt, swaggering towards the bar.
A minute later I decide to go to the loo so did an impression of this drunk guy walking up the aisle. Came back, sat down thinking nothing of it.
Then the sliding doors opened again and he came back, staggering down the aisle with a packet of sarnies and a coke.
He wasn't drunk, he was disabled. Have you ever wanted to jump off a train at 125mph?
I dressed as Easter Bunny to go to see someone in a childrens hospital, which was fine but not when you have to walk back through streets of Glasgow to get your car
I recorded a big fat guy taking a dump after a curry, then put the recording on a loop and stuck it in the disabled loo in Sainsbury. I then painted the vacant sign on the lock red, and watched the queue build up on a busy shopping day.
A 2d CGI animation done in Xara Photo and Graphic Designer 7 and put together in Windows Movie Maker about
three eagles (done with clip art) doing the can can and holding cans of Kronenbourg 1664.
It was the most aggrevating sequence I've ever attempted.
I once took one of those fart machine things into work, for a giggle. The office was proper posh - not quite "no laughing allowed" or anything, but really professional because rich clients used to come in quite often.
I set it up near our fax machine, and pressed the remote when there were two or more colleagues standing near it. Their expressions were priceless - utterly priceless. Two of my fellow secretaries were in on it with me, and we howled for hours. Then a couple of the managers got in on it too, and the fun multiplied.
I reckon I've never laughed so much at work as I did for that few days. And it wasn't even mine - I'd originally bought it for one of my young sons.
I recorded a big fat guy taking a dump after a curry, then put the recording on a loop and stuck it in the disabled loo in Sainsbury. I then painted the vacant sign on the lock red, and watched the queue build up on a busy shopping day.
The graffitti reads IF THIS IS VANDALISM THEN ART'S A CRIME!! It's a statement about hip hop graffttti artists being accused of vandalism whlle Banky's art costs thousands.
The birds're eagles which i obtained from clipart and added colour to and they're holding cans of my lager of choice, Kronenbourg 1664 (it's not an advert or endorsement, I jus like the stuff).
You'd never believe the grief I had to put up with while
putting it together.
I once took 32 paracetamol tablets and ended up in hospital because I wanted to prove the girl from the Co Op wrong when she refused to sell me more than 2 packets because of the risk of people overdosing.
I once took 32 paracetamol tablets and ended up in hospital because I wanted to prove the girl from the Co Op wrong when she refused to sell me more than 2 packets because of the risk of people overdosing.
Comments
I've done that, also done a vodka shot in the eye. You can blame Kevin and Perry go large for that one!
In what way more specific
He needs actual details.
To help him out while he typing one handed on his other copro threads.
How it smelt?
How I got it in the bottle?
A minute later I decide to go to the loo so did an impression of this drunk guy walking up the aisle. Came back, sat down thinking nothing of it.
Then the sliding doors opened again and he came back, staggering down the aisle with a packet of sarnies and a coke.
He wasn't drunk, he was disabled. Have you ever wanted to jump off a train at 125mph?
Aw Bob, how kind of you to help your fellow man out with his fetish.
It's this sort of kindness that makes you go "awwwww".
Oh no, I mean Urggh. Boke.
:eek::eek::eek::o
That's fantastic though
I'm so sorry, it was a genuine mistake. How should I ever atone myself?
I know it was probably made up, but just the thought of it is hilarious. And I was tempted to try it sometime
Any details would be interesting and welcome, but I'm intregued about when you opened the bottle and was like ":eek:".
three eagles (done with clip art) doing the can can and holding cans of Kronenbourg 1664.
It was the most aggrevating sequence I've ever attempted.
I set it up near our fax machine, and pressed the remote when there were two or more colleagues standing near it. Their expressions were priceless - utterly priceless. Two of my fellow secretaries were in on it with me, and we howled for hours. Then a couple of the managers got in on it too, and the fun multiplied.
I reckon I've never laughed so much at work as I did for that few days. And it wasn't even mine - I'd originally bought it for one of my young sons.
Edit: one of these, in case anyone wonders.
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Upstarts-FART-Remote-Controlled-Machine/dp/B00006FDOS
Did you really??
No, as I don't want to become human pizza right now.
It's only worth doing in front of a Pretendolino or The Flying Banana.
Trains at Speed UK
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWVuRwtjGek
Virgin Trains.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Virgin_Trains
New Measurement Train
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/New_Measurement_Train
The graffitti reads IF THIS IS VANDALISM THEN ART'S A CRIME!! It's a statement about hip hop graffttti artists being accused of vandalism whlle Banky's art costs thousands.
The birds're eagles which i obtained from clipart and added colour to and they're holding cans of my lager of choice, Kronenbourg 1664 (it's not an advert or endorsement, I jus like the stuff).
You'd never believe the grief I had to put up with while
putting it together.
Which makes you wonder - if you were going to go to the bother of making up a story to post, wouldn't you try to make it even remotely funny?
How utterly normal of you.