Options
Another story of pupil and teacher relationship. Is this abuse?
hopeless case
Posts: 5,245
Forum Member
✭
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2361309/Carol-married-teacher-seduced-schoolgirl--Only-decades-later-does-realise-exploited-her.html
This lady started an afair with her teacher when she was 16. She married him when she was 22. She had kids with him when she was 28 and 30. Now she is saying she was abused.
What are your views on this? In my opinion she is effectively telling her childen that they are the product of abuse. Whilst I cannot reconcile her actions during her adult life with her views now, putting my opinion to one side, surely she should keep her mouth shut for the good of her childen?
This lady started an afair with her teacher when she was 16. She married him when she was 22. She had kids with him when she was 28 and 30. Now she is saying she was abused.
What are your views on this? In my opinion she is effectively telling her childen that they are the product of abuse. Whilst I cannot reconcile her actions during her adult life with her views now, putting my opinion to one side, surely she should keep her mouth shut for the good of her childen?
0
Comments
His comments ..
But very few go selling their story to the press, shouting from the roof tops, etc.
I would hope the children will not be too emotionally scarred.
When her children read this story it will make them feel cheap and dirty no doubt, silly woman shoudl keep her trap shut, we have all done things that we regret'
Nasty.
As it is, she's "fully aware of her choices" simply for being 16.
This fella didn't just stand by her when she had a brain tumour, he actually married her. What a rotter, eh?
Quite - I got the feeling she was more bitter about the divorce and subsequent fallout than the original affair.
I'm not sure what the sanctions were for teachers shagging their legal aged pupils back in the '80s but it certainly wasn't illegal then. So to try and blacken the guy's name now seems very vindictive - just becouse he had an affair with someone 8 years his junior back when it was legal doesn't mean he will now try it on with youngsters nearly 40 years younger than him now.
I'd agree with this. The bit about her being concerned that he is working with teenagers when presumably she was quite happy for him to be working with them before the relationship failed just comes across as being vindictive. I don't think the guy was right in getting into a relationship with her at the time but her coming out with this now just seem like sour grapes and an attempt to blacken his name.
This.
The relationship didn't start off in the best way, but he married her, stayed with her while she was ill and they had two children together.
I think she's looking for a reason to justify the faliure of her marriage and has become very bitter. I feel sorry for her children.
She should have just kept her mouth shut. She would rather get back at this guy, than worry about what her kids will think. Wonder how they are feeling as this plays out in public?
I think it was a new law brought in about 20 years after this relationship started.
This seems most likely. At worst it's a cautionary tale for 16 year olds who feel they are old enough to know best.
That's one of the funniest things I've ever read on DS
It's right though, and as has been pointed out, going to the police is pointless if she was 16 because at the time it wasn't illegal.
It's been against the law since the Sexual Offences (Amendment) Act 2000 came into force in January 2001, for a teacher to have sexual relations with any pupil under the age of 18, even if the relationship is consensual.
That applies where the child is in full-time education and the person works in the same place as the child, even if the person does not teach the child.
The woman in the piece just seems to be having a bit of sour grapes.
I don't agree that a teacher should embark on a relationship with their 16 year old pupil and find it strange that a guy of that age would want to embark on a relationship with a girl that young. However, while 90% of the time I would expect something untoward to be going on there will always be that exception to the rule, as is life; sometimes things just happen.
They were together for a long time, over 20 years, they had children - they had what would appear to be a normal relationship I guess.
Then she decides to go to the press and label him as a groomer when their marriage breaks down and he moves on and her decision is to go to the DM with her story, while the topic is in the public consciousness.
I'm sorry but I have to view that with a certain amount of cynicism.
Yes it was legal by the laws of the day so he is safe from prosecution - but everything is not "fine". And of course, she may have hidden some of the details so as to protect him from prosecution. There may, however, have been teaching guidelines in place, so 'exposure' at the time could perhaps have ended his teaching career.
The same applies to child grooming - he may have done that starting from when she was 13, 14 or 15 (from what she says) but again, that was not at the time illegal. It may have been against teaching guidelines by another name.
Overall, my impression is that this mature lady (who seems to be in a good and well paid job) is doing this not for the money but because she feels strongly about the Forrest situation., as many of us do, and wishes to expose another side of the coin.
Assuming that it's true, and that her motives are honourable, I *think* I commend her for speaking out about it and also for ensuring that she said nothing to place him at risk of prosecution. The only thing I feel slightly uncomfortable about is her dragging it up after all these years, when he didn't apparently do anything illegal at the time - but if true as written, it was a breach of trust even if not at the time illegal.
Employer / employee relationships? Or what about managers and those they manage? Should they be outlawed by the morality police too since they have as much if not more potential for "abuse" of power and trust as any you have mentioned?
Some employers do bar relationships but when it comes to those who deal with the vulnerable (those I have mentioned) it is part of the professional code of conduct and you sign up to it during training and during practice. You can be dismissed for it and also de-registered.