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Emmerdale one liners/ funny bits....
thejoyof_pat
Posts: 30,786 Forum Member
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I know there is a 'soap one-liners' thread but I feel that a thread should be dedicated to the soap which, imo, has the best one-liners ever. I have watched so much within the past 6 weeks and I don't think there's been an episode where I haven't laughed at least once:
A couple of my favourites are....
Chas [to Chloe]: "Pee on the stick b*tch!"
Chas [to Debbie & Cameron]: "Oh look, it's like Romeo & Juliet but with more slags"
- I was roaring with laughter at that one.
Sandy [to everyone]: "it's just a bit of fun" - all about the delivery.
Vanessa [to Moira]: "We shouldn't be Scar & Mufasa, we should be like Timon and Pumbaa. You know *points to self* Meerkat and *points to Moira* Wartho..
These are just a couple to spring to my head but I'm sure there are loads more...please share so we can all have a little laugh.
A couple of my favourites are....
Chas [to Chloe]: "Pee on the stick b*tch!"
Chas [to Debbie & Cameron]: "Oh look, it's like Romeo & Juliet but with more slags"
- I was roaring with laughter at that one.Sandy [to everyone]: "it's just a bit of fun" - all about the delivery.
Vanessa [to Moira]: "We shouldn't be Scar & Mufasa, we should be like Timon and Pumbaa. You know *points to self* Meerkat and *points to Moira* Wartho..
These are just a couple to spring to my head but I'm sure there are loads more...please share so we can all have a little laugh.
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Cain (To Chas about Cameron): What's he done?
Chas: Debbie. He did Debbie
David: In me Dress!:D:D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r8vkNwq4DAI
1min 40secs in
Did she take it lying down? :eek::eek::o:o:p:p:D:D
Brilliant, just brilliant
Pearl had a great one today
Diane [to everyone]: ....we're back as you can see.
Pearl: all guns blazing
*tumbleweed*
:eek::eek: lol!
I don't know why but a scene with Aaron and Jackson always makes me smile, I cant remember exactly what was said but it went something like this:
Aaron [To Jackson]: Did you get my text?
Jackson: What the one that said I was well out of order and you hope I get Bird Flu? Yeah.
Alan: "We all have Children.."
Betty: "Well no I haven't but his daughter is a psychopath so we share you're pain"
It's just the way the line was delivered that i found really funny!
And Eli to Debbie and Jasmine when they asked him to help them when he found out they'd killed Shane; ''What do you think I am aye? The messiah? I can't raise him up again Deb's.''
Oh and Eli offering Jasmine custard creams after a mini meltdown she was having the day after
The only amusement I had during that storyline the rest had me in tears
Ross: "With my brains and your lovely black hair we could be like Bonnie and Clyde or summat"
Cain: "More like Cain and Unable"
Dan: "If I met a girl half as drop dead gorgeous as her at Bronte night I'd die happy"
Cain: "Shut up"
Dan: "And your going out with her. What does it take to put a smile on your face? "
Cain: "Seeing you with a monkey wrench in your gob"
Oh I love Cain
What is this, Grab a granny night? Careful Edna you might be next!
to Debbie about Robbie 'He's a dark little pony, isn't he?':D
To Cain when he made a bitchy comment about her scruffy appearance 'Ooh, it's fancy dress and I came as you':D
Cain to Charity in the hotel room 'Does he make you whip him with with liquorice straps?':D
Cain to Charity on her return to Emmerdale - she was lying on the bonnet of his car, saying 'You know what really bothers me?' and he said something like 'Well it's obviously not ruining my paintwork' but it was all in the delivery.:D
Gabby and the Pearl on Facebook remark was good. Pearl and the loaded gun remark tonight was a good un as well.
Lol, I also remember Victoria calling Moira Pie Face.
Vic: "hey pie face"
Betty: "you mean po faced, because she can sometimes look po faced"
Diane: "Betty, stay out if it"
Vic: "No, I meant pie face, face like a pie - that's her"
I loved that scene too
Chas: Have you got some painkillers for in the morning?
Paddy: Rhona's had 'em all
Hazel: you can't just lie around moping all the time.
Jackson: I'll go for a bike ride then shall I?
"I'll brush your hair and tell you you're pretty"
"What are you going to do? Hit me with your rhythm stick?"
Rhona did quite a good one that night as well, when Paddy said 'I phoned an ambulance' and she replied 'No, YOU phoned the speaking clock.:D
Cain calling PC Feathers 'Big Bird:D
Charity's wedding to Michael, Michael's explaining the appearance of Debbie and Cain at the ceremony, He basically says 'that's the girl I've been having an affair with, and he's her Dad.' The best man says 'D'you mind if I make a few changes to my speech? I'm sure there's a joke in there somewhere!':D
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-q2rj-7F4Q
Another scene Cain hobbles into the Cafe on his crutches:
Cain: So this is where cars come to get fixed eh
Cameron: I dont know a broken down old banger has just walked in!