I seem to remember Parkinson's harping on to Helen Mirren about her breasts totally ignoring her acting skills. That was a long time ago but it seems little changes. We are defined by our image.
>>>>>>
We are talking about a feint-hearted forum that has considerable form for either banning removing or closing threads without hint or explanation. Recently council house rents were being discussed but directly a nationality - other than white British - was mentioned, the poster was either banned or the board removed.
Same again for useing the word 'fat'. In each example no names of individuals were mentioned.
Because its not nice. Its a matter of manners and basic social graces, do we really need to discuss this? Referring to someone by their undesirable characteristics is generally considered unacceptable and rightly so. I honestly don't know why you'd even bother arguing for your right to call people fat, its just rude.
'Fat' might be a more widespread term but it's like referring to people as "the one who reeks of piss" or "the one with that huge nose". Sure no ones stopping you using terms like that describe people, but it just makes you look mean and rather cruel.
Because its not nice. Its a matter of manners and basic social graces, do we really need to discuss this? Referring to someone by their undesirable characteristics is generally considered unacceptable and rightly so. I honestly don't know why you'd even bother arguing for your right to call people fat, its just rude.
'Fat' might be a more widespread term but it's like referring to people as "the one who reeks of piss" or "the one with that huge nose". Sure no ones stopping you using terms like that describe people, but it just makes you look mean and rather cruel.
Why do people feel they have to be so aggressive and rude? What happened to kindness, respect, gentleness, consideration, patience, warmth & understanding?
Obviously we cannot love or even like people who we hardly know but we can be kind, courteous and considerate towards them.
Of course I have my bad moments but I love smiling at strangers in the street and saying a cheery 'good morning' or whatever. I do get mixed reactions. Some people ignore me completely, some people look at me as though I belong in a mental institution, some look confused and slightly bewildered, not sure how to respond. However, others appear genuinely pleased (after initial apprehension) and respond similarly with a cheery word/smile.
I dont get it, if its the truth then why cant you say someone is fat?
They know it, we know it, anyone with eyes would know it, so why is it such an offensive thing these days to say someone is fat?
Barring any medical issues causing it, then I dont see why you shouldnt be able to point it out. Its not bullying, its stating a fact!
Im not getting the point of your post.
I come across all shapes,sizes,religions,colours and I don't see a reason to distinguish between overweight people and anybody else.
Its YOU that has a problem with body shape.
I think the OP is being disingenuous. The contexts in which we need to call someone fat are surely limited, and no one has suggested that it must become a banned word in all circumstances.
It is rude to call someone fat when there is no reason to comment on their body shape other than the desire to be horrible about it. I would have thought that was self-evident.
It is not rude to call someone fat if there is a genuine, polite reason; eg historical or sociological. I think the giveaway in this case is "Barring any medical issues causing it"; since it is absolutely impossible for anyone to know someone else's medical records, this is the usual fig leaf for someone who wants the right to be rude and hurtful, but feels forced to concede that there may be a tiny, tiny number of cases where that might be a bit inappropriate.
I dont get it, if its the truth then why cant you say someone is fat?
They know it, we know it, anyone with eyes would know it, so why is it such an offensive thing these days to say someone is fat?
Barring any medical issues causing it, then I dont see why you shouldnt be able to point it out. Its not bullying, its stating a fact!
I am a man of reasonable build, I only weigh about 12 and half stone and I'm over 6 foot.
Granted, I put a few pounds onto my stomach in the last few years, but for all intents and purposes, I am essentially, fairly skinny.
I would say, it is wrong to call someone fat:
1. Because it's incredibly rude - if we are to start walking up to people and just randomly shouting out faults, we are on a slippery slope to desolate hell my friend, and one I'm sure, nobody would come out of lightly. Very rarely are people without physical fault to one person or another.
2. It might not be a totally conscious decision. Does anyone choose to get fat? I mean, maybe a few of those women porn stars you see (maybe?), who are trying to bag a 'chubby chaser', but generally, people don't choose it. Nope, it's either down to depression, a medical condition, cravings (does anyone choose cravings?), laziness (does anyone really choose laziness for that matter?) You know, the more you look at life, the more you see the chaos, and total lack of control
3. Because it IS bullying. You just think it isn't because you aren't fat and have a total inability to see anything from anyone elses side. Imagine for a second it was one of your faults that people felt the need to blurt out. Would you be so supportive then? Remember, it's really easy to say it on a forum, it's a lot more difficult to live it.
4. Being fat is not something that needs to be pointed out negatively. It's as if you are having a go at someone for potentially lowering their lifespan. It may seem valid, but to what end? Do we all just exist on different planes- at the top, we have that freakish thin guy, that limits himself to 400 calories a day so he can live to 120, and at the bottom, we have a bunch of people who just like food, or booze and don't give a stuff because it's their life and they'll live it however they want? And he's at the top looking all smug and laughing at you, when secretly he's miserable because all he has for tea is two pieces of lettuce and a celery stick?
5. The definition of 'fat' varies from person to person. Some people might think your girlfriend is fat, you might think she is normal and attractive and you don't care what other people say, regardless, it seems a lot of people have a different opinion of what being fat actually is. Of course, we have the extremes. If only everything in life was as simple as the extreme, but the fact is, people come in all shapes and sizes, people have different lifestyles, people are more complicated than their size, and knowing that just makes things more interesting. Why limit yourself to people who to you, look more ideal, when underneath, they are probably the same bag of seething insecurity that a larger person may be, they just express it in different ways (and not always for the better).
What? I just felt like giving a more in-depth answer than usual
I think because the word is seen as a negative attribute in our society and not just a simple adjective, there has to be a bit of consideration when using it. Fat people know they're fat, they don't need people telling them anymore than bald people need that fact pointed out or tall people getting comments about their height.
Is being fat unhealthy? Well sure, if it's gone beyond a certain point, but let's not pretend that every non-fat person is the picture of health either. They could be smokers or binge drinkers or have high blood pressure, fat is an obvious thing and people often feel obligated to comment. Not sure why that is.
A family member or friend remarking that you are fat may be doing so out of honesty, and giving you some tough love
But if a stranger calls you fat, personally I dont think they havethe right, as they dont know you well enough. Fat should not be the word to use in that context.
But to be honest strangers calling you fat, such as someone saying "the fat guy over there" or simply shouting at someone sich as "oi you the fat geezer" etc...thats at the very least insensitive, and perhaps just plain rude or offensive.
And finally there are those who clearly use it as an insult, and yet claim it as a fact. It may well be a fact, but we all know wellenough when we are being deliberatley insulted by someone.
Therefore the intent behind the statement is key.
I agree, I've encountered many people who hide or excuse their rudeness and lack of manners/tact with the 'I'm only being honest' disclaimer.
Because you're a bit of a vulgar term for female genitalia if you feel the need call people fat to their face. They're hardly likely to be brimful of confidence in the first place and don't need the "PC gone mad" brigade campaigning for the right to call them fat.
Why do people feel they have to be so aggressive and rude? What happened to kindness, respect, gentleness, consideration, patience, warmth & understanding?
Obviously we cannot love or even like people who we hardly know but we can be kind, courteous and considerate towards them.
Of course I have my bad moments but I love smiling at strangers in the street and saying a cheery 'good morning' or whatever. I do get mixed reactions. Some people ignore me completely, some people look at me as though I belong in a mental institution, some look confused and slightly bewildered, not sure how to respond. However, others appear genuinely pleased (after initial apprehension) and respond similarly with a cheery word/smile.
Makes my day!
I find that people passing in the street rarely speak - sometimes they glance at you and half nod.
On the other hand, when I walk in the nearby countryside, or on the canal towpath, nearly everybody who passes by will say hello. I've even had a chat with some.
I dont get it, if its the truth then why cant you say someone is fat?
They know it, we know it, anyone with eyes would know it, so why is it such an offensive thing these days to say someone is fat?
Barring any medical issues causing it, then I dont see why you shouldnt be able to point it out. Its not bullying, its stating a fact!
Well, go ahead. Make it your mission in life to go around telling people they are fat. Most people who are fat are aware of it already but it won't hurt for them to be told so again in no uncertain terms.
Better still, why not join the BBC and have a fab time filming fat people's arses for the edification of the viewing public? You can get to film fat people's wobbly bits all day AND as a bonus shout after their retreating bottoms "by the way, you're FAT!"
P.S. I presume you're perfect. If not, be prepared to occasionally have your own defects pointed out. It's only fair.
I dont get why people get offended on others behalfs by pointing out something thats obvious to anyone, not to be hurtful just as a reference...but apparently even that is unacceptable these days.
So if you walked up to your girlfriend/wife (assuming you have one) and said to her "You're fat" you would think that's acceptable and just a reference because you're only telling her the truth? You wouldn't expect her to possibly be hurt by that? Try it. See how far you get with that approach.
If I was fat then I think I'd hate the term Morbidly Obese much much worse than "fat"
As if being obese isn't bad enough, having the word Morbid just to specify that you are incredibly fat lol
Nothing wrong with stating a fat person is fat imo why the need to sugar coat it?.....oops
Obese, morbidly obese etc. are medical terms ,as defined by BMI (yes, I know there are flaws with BMI). So these terms may be hurtful, but they may well be being used correctly.
The word 'fat' doesn't really have a precise definition and therefore is somewhat subjective. What is fat in one person's eyes may not be to the next person. What is upsetting to one person may not be to the next.
When I was overweight I had no problem referring to myself as fat or obese, but I wouldn't have called other people them. Mainly because I don't see other people's weight/shape as being any of my business.
It's just as offensive to be called skinny. Why not slender or slim. Is it a problem on the part of the beholder?
Mind you it is offensive to call someone fat, why not curvaceous or generously built - if the circumstances call for comment. Otherwise it's wise not to comment at all.
I agree with Paperplanes.
People don't see being called skinny as an insult. My daughter is thin (by choice) and people constantly say to her "oh aren't you skinny" or "You should eat more cakes". They wouldn't say to a fat person "oh aren't you fat" or "You should eat less cakes".
Comments
>>>>>>
We are talking about a feint-hearted forum that has considerable form for either banning removing or closing threads without hint or explanation. Recently council house rents were being discussed but directly a nationality - other than white British - was mentioned, the poster was either banned or the board removed.
Same again for useing the word 'fat'. In each example no names of individuals were mentioned.
'Fat' might be a more widespread term but it's like referring to people as "the one who reeks of piss" or "the one with that huge nose". Sure no ones stopping you using terms like that describe people, but it just makes you look mean and rather cruel.
Why do people feel they have to be so aggressive and rude? What happened to kindness, respect, gentleness, consideration, patience, warmth & understanding?
Obviously we cannot love or even like people who we hardly know but we can be kind, courteous and considerate towards them.
Of course I have my bad moments but I love smiling at strangers in the street and saying a cheery 'good morning' or whatever. I do get mixed reactions. Some people ignore me completely, some people look at me as though I belong in a mental institution, some look confused and slightly bewildered, not sure how to respond. However, others appear genuinely pleased (after initial apprehension) and respond similarly with a cheery word/smile.
Makes my day!
Ah, but if you call someone who is gay a 'shirt-lifter' it wouldn't go down too well.
And you shouldn't call a spade a 'spade'.
Calling someone 'fat' is fattist, especially if they are the fattest. You should call them 'portly' or 'well built'.
Im not getting the point of your post.
I come across all shapes,sizes,religions,colours and I don't see a reason to distinguish between overweight people and anybody else.
Its YOU that has a problem with body shape.
I've noticed that too. They've usually got something on that's a bit tight, and you see a bit of softness on their body, and somehow they are fat.
This.
End of thread.
I am a man of reasonable build, I only weigh about 12 and half stone and I'm over 6 foot.
Granted, I put a few pounds onto my stomach in the last few years, but for all intents and purposes, I am essentially, fairly skinny.
I would say, it is wrong to call someone fat:
1. Because it's incredibly rude - if we are to start walking up to people and just randomly shouting out faults, we are on a slippery slope to desolate hell my friend, and one I'm sure, nobody would come out of lightly. Very rarely are people without physical fault to one person or another.
2. It might not be a totally conscious decision. Does anyone choose to get fat? I mean, maybe a few of those women porn stars you see (maybe?), who are trying to bag a 'chubby chaser', but generally, people don't choose it. Nope, it's either down to depression, a medical condition, cravings (does anyone choose cravings?), laziness (does anyone really choose laziness for that matter?) You know, the more you look at life, the more you see the chaos, and total lack of control
3. Because it IS bullying. You just think it isn't because you aren't fat and have a total inability to see anything from anyone elses side. Imagine for a second it was one of your faults that people felt the need to blurt out. Would you be so supportive then? Remember, it's really easy to say it on a forum, it's a lot more difficult to live it.
4. Being fat is not something that needs to be pointed out negatively. It's as if you are having a go at someone for potentially lowering their lifespan. It may seem valid, but to what end? Do we all just exist on different planes- at the top, we have that freakish thin guy, that limits himself to 400 calories a day so he can live to 120, and at the bottom, we have a bunch of people who just like food, or booze and don't give a stuff because it's their life and they'll live it however they want? And he's at the top looking all smug and laughing at you, when secretly he's miserable because all he has for tea is two pieces of lettuce and a celery stick?
5. The definition of 'fat' varies from person to person. Some people might think your girlfriend is fat, you might think she is normal and attractive and you don't care what other people say, regardless, it seems a lot of people have a different opinion of what being fat actually is. Of course, we have the extremes. If only everything in life was as simple as the extreme, but the fact is, people come in all shapes and sizes, people have different lifestyles, people are more complicated than their size, and knowing that just makes things more interesting. Why limit yourself to people who to you, look more ideal, when underneath, they are probably the same bag of seething insecurity that a larger person may be, they just express it in different ways (and not always for the better).
What? I just felt like giving a more in-depth answer than usual
Is being fat unhealthy? Well sure, if it's gone beyond a certain point, but let's not pretend that every non-fat person is the picture of health either. They could be smokers or binge drinkers or have high blood pressure, fat is an obvious thing and people often feel obligated to comment. Not sure why that is.
I agree, I've encountered many people who hide or excuse their rudeness and lack of manners/tact with the 'I'm only being honest' disclaimer.
I find that people passing in the street rarely speak - sometimes they glance at you and half nod.
On the other hand, when I walk in the nearby countryside, or on the canal towpath, nearly everybody who passes by will say hello. I've even had a chat with some.
As if being obese isn't bad enough, having the word Morbid just to specify that you are incredibly fat lol
Nothing wrong with stating a fat person is fat imo why the need to sugar coat it?.....oops
Well, go ahead. Make it your mission in life to go around telling people they are fat. Most people who are fat are aware of it already but it won't hurt for them to be told so again in no uncertain terms.
Better still, why not join the BBC and have a fab time filming fat people's arses for the edification of the viewing public? You can get to film fat people's wobbly bits all day AND as a bonus shout after their retreating bottoms "by the way, you're FAT!"
P.S. I presume you're perfect. If not, be prepared to occasionally have your own defects pointed out. It's only fair.
Does this apply to people (mostly FAT people) who call slim people "anorexic", "scrawny" etc?
Thought not.....
of course it does, to suggest otherwise would be silly.
So if you walked up to your girlfriend/wife (assuming you have one) and said to her "You're fat" you would think that's acceptable and just a reference because you're only telling her the truth? You wouldn't expect her to possibly be hurt by that? Try it. See how far you get with that approach.
No he was wrong. Some 'fat' women have lovely hair and nails. Some don't.
A great example of stereotyping.
Obese, morbidly obese etc. are medical terms ,as defined by BMI (yes, I know there are flaws with BMI). So these terms may be hurtful, but they may well be being used correctly.
The word 'fat' doesn't really have a precise definition and therefore is somewhat subjective. What is fat in one person's eyes may not be to the next person. What is upsetting to one person may not be to the next.
When I was overweight I had no problem referring to myself as fat or obese, but I wouldn't have called other people them. Mainly because I don't see other people's weight/shape as being any of my business.
Common decency.
Are we disgusted by their perceived greed? Or is it just that they're so unattractive.
There's hardly any other physical trait that puts people off so much as fat.
People don't see being called skinny as an insult. My daughter is thin (by choice) and people constantly say to her "oh aren't you skinny" or "You should eat more cakes". They wouldn't say to a fat person "oh aren't you fat" or "You should eat less cakes".