give it a week and tonight will be a distant memory, back to bills, work, cold, rain and getting up and going to work in the dark. more than likely in a few weeks we will get so,e snow which will dominate our lives and the media.
but a lot of the time outside forces make that impossible.
Maybe easier if you have loads of money but when you rely on things like the NHS and the painfully slow processes that often creates 3 months go in a blink of an eye.
Its not about money at all. Some of the happiest people I know don't have a pot to piss in.
give it a week and tonight will be a distant memory, back to bills, work, cold, rain and getting up and going to work in the dark. more than likely in a few weeks we will get so,e snow which will dominate our lives and the media.
lets be honest, its just the last proper good piss up until easter good friday, and everyone know it!
My brother and his missus usually see Valentine's Day as a good excuse for a party. Before that, my family have birthdays on Christmas Day, New Years Day, the 7th, 14th and 21st of January. We tend to take full advantage of this, especially seeing as all the people involved are now of legal drinking age.
To be honest I usually find New Year's depressing but after suddenly losing my Mum in September I was happy to see the end and dealth of 2013, can't wait to start the new year now
100% feel the same
So far avoided the sobbing I normally do
2013 was by far the worse year. Mum being very ill for most of it
i'm trying to remain more positive this year see if that makes any difference.
Sorry re your mum oathy. I'm trying to be positive too, as my health got worse in 2012 and continued being same for most of 2013, and 2014 will see me being in hospital seeing a specialist. Surgery on the cards, which scares me, so gonna go down the positive route.
It's not as though anything changes. It's just... the same. with a new number added to the end of the date.
Indeed. It irks me when the top news stories on New Year's Day are about it being New Year's Day. Wow, the date changing, that's a really newsworthy event that's never happened before!
This summer I was talking with a few friends of a similar age to me (mid 40's) about regrets, and so on, at the leaving do for a colleague at the local pub to work. I said I wish I'd learned to play a musical instrument when I was younger, and I wasn't the only one. I suddenly realised that there was no reason I couldn't start now if I wanted to.
That evening I bought a guitar and started learning to play within the week. I still suck at it after six months, but it's one thing I now no longer have to regret not doing. It's also helped me with my perfectionism.
I've suffered from social anxiety as long as I can remember. It was so bad when I was younger that my earliest memories are of hiding away from any visitors to the family home, and I couldn't eat around non family members until I was in my early 20's.
Through throwing myself into uncomfortable social situations whenever I can (including that time I went to a naturist beach, but that's another story...), I'm slowly getting to the point where I can see a time where it won't limit me any longer, but it's been an enemy that I've been fighting for many decades, and it takes constant effort not to lapse back into behaviours and negative thinking that will erode my efforts. Like fighting the flab, but with more hiding.
DS actually helps with that as well. It helps maintain my newly thickened skin .
Really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing
I've struggled with social anxiety all my life too, to the point where I find it incredibly difficult to even leave the house (it's been over 3 months since I last set foot outside ) so I can really relate to your post. I, too, hide away from any visitors to the house (even my own brother and his girlfriend when they come over) but I managed to go downstairs and eat Christmas dinner with my parents and uncle this year. -high fives self!-
I always find New Year's Eve so depressing because for the past 6 years, I've spent it sitting alone in my room thinking that I've wasted another year and nothing's changed. I'm still living at home at the age of 25 (26 on the 20th of January) I have no friends, no job, and I honestly don't think I'll ever be mentally or financially stable enough to ever move into my own home.
Still, your post gave me a little bit of hope that perhaps things may gradually improve if I try hard enough
No. Life is largely what you are dealt. There are far too many stories of people that have just got lucky e.g. winning the lottery jackpot, or being successful, even though you are a talentless wannabe, or where in the world you are born, or how wealthy your parents are, or being born into royalty, or being in the right place at the right time, often by chance, or having the right connections (as in, it's not what you know, but who you know) etc. etc., for that comment to be meaningless.
But to answer the point made by the OP, I don't find new year depressing. Except for the long dark nights - but that won't really ease for a couple of months.
No. Life is largely what you are dealt. There are far too many stories of people that have just got lucky e.g. winning the lottery jackpot, or being successful, even though you are a talentless wannabe, or where in the world you are born, or how wealthy your parents are, or being born into royalty, or being in the right place at the right time, often by chance, or having the right connections (as in, it's not what you know, but who you know) etc. etc., for that comment to be meaningless.
My roots stem from a broken home riddled with domestic abuse, prison time, mental hospitals, unemployment, alcoholism and drugs. I am none of those because I chose not to be. I am genetically predisposed to a lot of that if I used the triggers and am being told that people are also products of their environments, but I have achieved a lot in life, have a nice home, a good job and plenty of disposable income. Why? Because I decided that path was not something I wanted for myself and later on, my children.
Whilst New Year is a complete anti-climax, all we can do is look forward to improving ourselves, and if you really put your mind to it, even achieving a small thing from your bucket list - however small it may be - is enough to elevate your self-belief in that you can do great things.
but a lot of the time outside forces make that impossible.
.
true oathy, its no as straight foreward as v b suggests... id suggest its 'how you play the hand youre dealt' would be more accurate
as you get older, it gets worse. im 57 in a couple of weeks time and i might not make another 20 years but if i do ill be an old fogie just sitting back waiting for the big sleep.
so to me, each year end is depressing, time is running out and theres fcuk all you can do to stop it.
*edit
sorry, missed page 2 where the subject of dealing with what you are dealt has already been raised.
My roots stem from a broken home riddled with domestic abuse, prison time, mental hospitals, unemployment, alcoholism and drugs. I am none of those because I chose not to be. I am genetically predisposed to a lot of that if I used the triggers and am being told that people are also products of their environments, but I have achieved a lot in life, have a nice home, a good job and plenty of disposable income. Why? Because I decided that path was not something I wanted for myself and later on, my children.
Whilst New Year is a complete anti-climax, all we can do is look forward to improving ourselves, and if you really put your mind to it, even achieving a small thing from your bucket list - however small it may be - is enough to elevate your self-belief in that you can do great things.
You live in the West - where your 'allowed' to self improve - and you were fortunate enough to meet the right people who helped you along. Many people have no such luck
For those in war torn countries and real poverty, there's virtually no way out right now.
Really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing
I've struggled with social anxiety all my life too, to the point where I find it incredibly difficult to even leave the house (it's been over 3 months since I last set foot outside ) so I can really relate to your post. I, too, hide away from any visitors to the house (even my own brother and his girlfriend when they come over) but I managed to go downstairs and eat Christmas dinner with my parents and uncle this year. -high fives self!-
I always find New Year's Eve so depressing because for the past 6 years, I've spent it sitting alone in my room thinking that I've wasted another year and nothing's changed. I'm still living at home at the age of 25 (26 on the 20th of January) I have no friends, no job, and I honestly don't think I'll ever be mentally or financially stable enough to ever move into my own home.
Still, your post gave me a little bit of hope that perhaps things may gradually improve if I try hard enough
thats sad, i hope things do improve for you and that you find the inner strength to conquer your daemons so you can lead a fullfilling life.
Comments
Truly sorry to hear that.
Its not about money at all. Some of the happiest people I know don't have a pot to piss in.
Every day is a step closer to summer as well
That is so sad. When did he die?
My brother and his missus usually see Valentine's Day as a good excuse for a party. Before that, my family have birthdays on Christmas Day, New Years Day, the 7th, 14th and 21st of January. We tend to take full advantage of this, especially seeing as all the people involved are now of legal drinking age.
I'm feeling rather perky, all things considered. Probably a mixture of sleep deprivation, pain killers and having a very strange sense of humour.
Indeed. It irks me when the top news stories on New Year's Day are about it being New Year's Day. Wow, the date changing, that's a really newsworthy event that's never happened before!
Having said that, I do find it a depressing time.
Really enjoyed reading this post. Thank you for sharing
I've struggled with social anxiety all my life too, to the point where I find it incredibly difficult to even leave the house (it's been over 3 months since I last set foot outside
I always find New Year's Eve so depressing because for the past 6 years, I've spent it sitting alone in my room thinking that I've wasted another year and nothing's changed. I'm still living at home at the age of 25 (26 on the 20th of January) I have no friends, no job, and I honestly don't think I'll ever be mentally or financially stable enough to ever move into my own home.
Still, your post gave me a little bit of hope that perhaps things may gradually improve if I try hard enough
No. Life is largely what you are dealt. There are far too many stories of people that have just got lucky e.g. winning the lottery jackpot, or being successful, even though you are a talentless wannabe, or where in the world you are born, or how wealthy your parents are, or being born into royalty, or being in the right place at the right time, often by chance, or having the right connections (as in, it's not what you know, but who you know) etc. etc., for that comment to be meaningless.
and some of the happiest people I know are very well off
Money makes your life easier which in turn can keep the darkness away. It is the number one motivator for most people on this planet.
But to answer the point made by the OP, I don't find new year depressing. Except for the long dark nights - but that won't really ease for a couple of months.
My roots stem from a broken home riddled with domestic abuse, prison time, mental hospitals, unemployment, alcoholism and drugs. I am none of those because I chose not to be. I am genetically predisposed to a lot of that if I used the triggers and am being told that people are also products of their environments, but I have achieved a lot in life, have a nice home, a good job and plenty of disposable income. Why? Because I decided that path was not something I wanted for myself and later on, my children.
Whilst New Year is a complete anti-climax, all we can do is look forward to improving ourselves, and if you really put your mind to it, even achieving a small thing from your bucket list - however small it may be - is enough to elevate your self-belief in that you can do great things.
true oathy, its no as straight foreward as v b suggests... id suggest its 'how you play the hand youre dealt' would be more accurate
as you get older, it gets worse. im 57 in a couple of weeks time and i might not make another 20 years but if i do ill be an old fogie just sitting back waiting for the big sleep.
so to me, each year end is depressing, time is running out and theres fcuk all you can do to stop it.
*edit
sorry, missed page 2 where the subject of dealing with what you are dealt has already been raised.
You live in the West - where your 'allowed' to self improve - and you were fortunate enough to meet the right people who helped you along. Many people have no such luck
For those in war torn countries and real poverty, there's virtually no way out right now.
thats sad, i hope things do improve for you and that you find the inner strength to conquer your daemons so you can lead a fullfilling life.