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I am owed money - need advice please!
Sorry it's long!
Back in June, my car failed its MOT at a garage owned by a friend. It failed so badly that I needed a new one, so said friend arranged for her 20-year-old son(I'm 21) to help me find a new car, as I'm useless with cars.
Long story short, I got a new car, and this guy took my car to scrap for me. During which time, he wanted us to have a relationship but I didn't see him in that way, though I wanted to stay friends. He also told me when he got the cheque for my car going to scrap, he'd give it to me.
He then got too drunk once and was rude to my friends and to me, and also got extremely mad at me for not reciprocating his feelings, so then we stopped spending time together. I didn't get the cheque.
I sent him text messages asking to please sort it for me, as his mother informed me he'd 'lost the cheque and needed to get the scrap guy to re-issue it'. My dad has phoned him several times, and each time he insisted he'd sort it, but now he won't take my dad's calls, or answers the phone and holds it to the TV. My dad has contacted the scrap guy, who did confirm he had my car, but said he had no record of this cheque.
Now I'm stuck as what to do. As I said, he won't take my dad's calls, and it's MY money and it's not just that, it's the principle that he lost the cheque, so therefore is in the wrong!!
What can I do? It's upsetting, and my dad is getting very frustrated with this guy. Any advice would be great, thank you.
Back in June, my car failed its MOT at a garage owned by a friend. It failed so badly that I needed a new one, so said friend arranged for her 20-year-old son(I'm 21) to help me find a new car, as I'm useless with cars.
Long story short, I got a new car, and this guy took my car to scrap for me. During which time, he wanted us to have a relationship but I didn't see him in that way, though I wanted to stay friends. He also told me when he got the cheque for my car going to scrap, he'd give it to me.
He then got too drunk once and was rude to my friends and to me, and also got extremely mad at me for not reciprocating his feelings, so then we stopped spending time together. I didn't get the cheque.
I sent him text messages asking to please sort it for me, as his mother informed me he'd 'lost the cheque and needed to get the scrap guy to re-issue it'. My dad has phoned him several times, and each time he insisted he'd sort it, but now he won't take my dad's calls, or answers the phone and holds it to the TV. My dad has contacted the scrap guy, who did confirm he had my car, but said he had no record of this cheque.
Now I'm stuck as what to do. As I said, he won't take my dad's calls, and it's MY money and it's not just that, it's the principle that he lost the cheque, so therefore is in the wrong!!
What can I do? It's upsetting, and my dad is getting very frustrated with this guy. Any advice would be great, thank you.
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It will not be worth the hassle to go through all the crap to get it off him IMO.
Chalk it up to experience of life.
Not nice at all though.
He apparently was issued the cheque. His mum told me he placed the cheque on the kitchen table and somehow lost it. I don't know why the scrap guy has no record of it.
Good luck
If he provided help in getting a new car for you, right it off as a thanks to him.
The scrap dealer needs to stop that cheque and issue you a new one.
You do not need to have any contact with your ex friend.
So, did the scrap guy say how he DID pay your friend for the car and how much?
Cant you involve his mum ?
Thanks for the advice. It's not even the money that's bothering me, to me it's principle and that I find it really disrespectful to answer a phone call from my dad and hold it against his TV. That's just rude.
When my dad first called the scrap man, he said he was looking at my car as he spoke. But he said he has so many books and cannot find the cheque. Which we find rather odd, because surely in a cheque book you write on the stubs what you've paid in each cheque.
Thanks for your reply.
It's around £200 which I know isn't a huge amount, but I work an hour away and considering that's four weeks worth of petrol to me, it would be helpful, especially as it is my money. And like I've previously said, it's not about the money, to me it's the principal.
And yes, he did help me find a car which I was grateful for but he also acted awfully (which I didn't include in detail in my first post) once I'd told him repeatedly that I didn't want a relationship, and then when my dad has phoned him and he has held the phone to his TV...I find that really disrespectful so I don't feel I owe him anything.
Thanks for your reply.
Yeah, we're going to contact the scrap man again. Thanks for your reply.
The scrap guy didn't say anything about the amount, just that he'd look for it and then, couldn't find it. Thanks for your reply.
I've tried involving his mum, her argument is he's a grown man and she doesn't want to get involved, despite the fact I considered her as a close friend. Thanks for your reply.
Believe me, so would I! My dad has always got on well with her so has tried speaking to her, her argument is that it's upsetting for her 'as she's done all she can and her son is a grown man'. Knowing her for as long as I have, I'm sure if I owed her son money, I would never have heard the end of it.
Sounds more like her attitude is "not my problem".
Whatever happens with the scrap merchant the only person that owes you the money is her son.
He clearly has no intention of paying up or even speaking about it so you don't really have many options. You can either chalk it up to experience or take it further possibly legally.
If it's the principle and you're insistent on getting your money back I'm wondering if it would be worth going down the small claims court route, although I guess you'll need some kind of evidence to back up what you're saying.
It may be worth mentioning to the mother that as her son won't even engage in sorting out the matter you're considering a way of going through the small claims court as you've "done all you can" in trying to sort it out with him directly. After all "he's a grown man" so can deal with the court.
She could just say fair enough although I suspect she'll be more likely to push the idiot into sorting it out.
And everything Steve said before it.
In my circle of friends we would be ashamed if our children abused our friends and would step up to the plate for the friendship - if we really did value it.
Thank you, yes, I feel I should say that to the mother, especially as she was supposed to be my friend. Thanks for your reply. Several of my friends/family have suggested the small claims court.
Thanks, a friend of mine did suggest that! Thank you.
That is exactly what me and my friends/family have been saying. I'm 21 but if I owed my mum's friend money, she would have been on my case from day one if I'd been pathetic enough to ignore the situation. Every single friend/family member I've spoken to has said the same. Thanks for replying.
In theory, that's the way to go, after a formal letter saying you're going to do it unless you get paid within X days.
Unfortunately, even if the OP wins, what's the next step if he refuses to pay?
Either bailiffs or bankruptcy, either of which is going to cost her (I assume the OP is female, just on percentages) more money. And doesn't guarantee recovering the debt.
Good luck.
The scrap yard ( if registered ) enters details of vehicle on to the dvla website & receives confimation, then sends a letter ( to the registered keeper ) stating the vehicle has been scrapped.
In this case it seems that the op pre signed the v5/log book otherwise there is no way any legitimate scrap yard would take possesion of the car.
From what i've read the op seems to have been a bit naive, nothing is free! When young men "help out" young women they generally expect something in return, you should have paid him for his time, that way there would have been no misunderstanding later on.
It seems to me that once you rebuffed his advances he became somewhat aggrieved:D. So seems to have decided to keep any payments he may have, as payment for services rendered;-)
I'd let it go, it's been over 6 months:o, you may not win a court case. ( reasons as stated above )
That's my 2 pence worth of advice, i've had over 30 years experience in the motor trade, your situation is not uncommon, take it or leave it:)
ps, those posters refering to the young man in question as an "idiot" should understand this is only one side of the story!
pps, haven't seen a cheque from a scrap yard for over 10 years, you give them car, they give you cash, simple as! ( i've scrapped over 300 cars personally )
From what you've said here,OP, I would think the mother should really pay you the money and then sort things out with her son.
It's pretty straightforward to start a claim, and it costs something like £25 which he will also be made to pay by the court.
Hopefully though he will get scared with the threat of court action and pay up what he owes straigthaway.
He may well be ordered, by the court, to pay it. Unfortunately, he can't be made to pay it, at that stage. If he simply doesn't pay, then that means more bother and expense for the OP.
Rather than face that, he will offer to pay in part. Don't agree, once he has done that (he will say that his offer is without prejudice) you have him by the goolies. He is a weak dishonest cowardly liar and should be crushed for trying to steal your money. It will teach him a lesson, and you actually. Even when you win, you will ensure that you don't get into the situation again.
Yes, I am female. And yes, that's what I worry about, if he still refuses to pay Thank you.
Thank you, will try that!
Thanks for the advice, and no I don't recall signing anything.
Thank you for your advice.
As for me being naïve, and nothing being free, I am 21 and literally do not know anything about cars. As his mother was my 'friend', I thought (perhaps naively then) that it was a friendly gesture, as on previous occasions of meeting him we got on well. I'd also like to add that I offered repeatedly to give him money for his time, which he kept saying no to, and I felt bad that he was giving up his time for me.
And him being a young man doing something for a young woman certainly doesn't mean he was entitled to anything else!
Thanks for your reply. The mother has said she's done all she can, which I really don't think she has. I know he is an adult, but if I owed someone money, my parents would be on at me to sort it.
Thank you, will try that!
Yeah Thanks for your reply.
Thanks for your reply. That's interesting to know (about the potential employees etc)
Hmm This is so confusing! Thanks for replying.