And what have you achieved? (And it may only be happiness)
I'm a software engineer. I've written small bits of code running in hundreds of millions or billions of devices around the world, making lots of things in your daily life run just a little bit better. Not as altruistic as environmental protection, but the pay is much better.
I just think it's amusing that the former bully ended up pursuing a career intended to do good. I ran into him several years ago and he seems nice enough now. He acted as if we were friends in school, which we weren't, but it was a long time ago and I was glad to run into someone from back then too.
I'm a software engineer. I've written small bits of code running in hundreds of millions or billions of devices around the world, making lots of things in your daily life run just a little bit better. Not as altruistic as environmental protection, but the pay is much better.
I just think it's amusing that the former bully ended up pursuing a career intended to do good. I ran into him several years ago and he seems nice enough now. He acted as if we were friends in school, which we weren't, but it was a long time ago and I was glad to run into someone from back then too.
There was obviously more to him than just a bully, and obviously he had an affect on your life that made you glad to see someone from back then too.
One fell off a cliff whilst walking on holiday while we were at school. Can't say I shed many tears over him as he was a complete asshole. Our form tutor and the kids from our class planted a tree in his memory in the school garden. Shame it's not in our local park as I'd go and piss up it. For years he made my life a complete misery.
One is still a total dick who's made nothing of his life and is shacked up with a girl who's got 3 kids from 3 different fellas.
The other one went into the police force and was never seen again. Says it all really. At least he can legally bully people about now.
how old are you? you remember all 6 of your bullies and what they all do?
These weren't "my" bullies, but the worst of the bunch. And as for remembering them, after 3 years of hell at my school (and I wasn't the only one to suffer at their hands) I think it perfectly natural I would remember them.
Also, as a few met their ends in public ways (I was a pall bearer at the girlfriends funeral) it was hard not to know what became of them.
Whilst you were being bullied by several people, was your opinion of people nicer than it is now?
If you mean my opinion of them then no. I hated them for how they treated me. If you mean my outlook on life and attitude to people in general then yes, I was far more tolerant, easy going and polite and forgiving back then. You could say I was a total soft as shite pushover.
When you get treated like a doormat enough times in life it kind of turns you into one of life's cynics. Having being bullied at school then get used by your first serious girlfriend and then your wife cheats on you and runs off with one of your clients and then your mates use you and pick you up and drop you when it suits because they are too embarrassed to hang around with a guy who's got a disabled girlfriend, well it has turned me into a person who's learned to like being away from people in general. People just hurt me and make me angry and upset. Best having no friends at all than ones who treat me like crap and upset me. Best thing I ever did was dump my part time friends which only wanted me when they hadn't git anyone else. I've had a life of being used and shit on all because I try to be nice to people. There comes a time when it's no more Mr Pushover.
One fell off a cliff whilst walking on holiday while we were at school. Can't say I shed many tears over him as he was a complete asshole. Our form tutor and the kids from our class planted a tree in his memory in the school garden. Shame it's not in our local park as I'd go and piss up it. For years he made my life a complete misery.
One is still a total dick who's made nothing of his life and is shacked up with a girl who's got 3 kids from 3 different fellas.
The other one went into the police force and was never seen again. Says it all really. At least he can legally bully people about now.
My school bully is now a solicitor, and a very successful one at that too.
I won't name him but he has a practice in Yorkshire and according to his website he has secured many millions of pounds for victims of medical negligence. What a success.
I doubt he thought about what he was doing to various people at school while he was picking on them. He stopped picking on me in the fourth year at school when he picked on me one too many times and I whacked him in the bollocks. Like a typical bully he looked around for back up and didn't find it. He was, and probably still is, a piece of shit.
If you mean my opinion of them then no. I hated them for how they treated me. If you mean my outlook on life and attitude to people in general then yes, I was far more tolerant, easy going and polite and forgiving back then. You could say I was a total soft as shite pushover.
When you get treated like a doormat enough times in life it kind of turns you into one of life's cynics. Having being bullied at school then get used by your first serious girlfriend and then your wife cheats on you and runs off with one of your clients and then your mates use you and pick you up and drop you when it suits because they are too embarrassed to hang around with a guy who's got a disabled girlfriend, well it has turned me into a person who's learned to like being away from people in general. People just hurt me and make me angry and upset. Best having no friends at all than ones who treat me like crap and upset me. Beat thing I ever did was dump my part time friends which only wanted me when they hadn't git anyone else. I've had a life of being used and shit on all because I try to be nice to people. There comes a time when it's no more Mr Pushover.
Perhaps trying to be nice is the wrong starting point, perhaps starting to be understanding might be a good starting point.
He stopped picking on me in the fourth year at school when he picked on me one too many times and I whacked him in the bollocks.
And I bet you had a smile on your face that day?...
I know I felt great after a final run in with on of my tormentors caused my to smack his head a few times against a brick wall. If only I had the guts to do it 3 years earlier it would have saved me a bucket load of pain.
And I bet you had a smile on your face that day?...
I know I felt great after a final run in with on of my tormentors caused my to smack his head a few times against a brick wall. If only I had the guts to do it 3 years earlier it would have saved me a bucket load of pain.
I was petrified in case he was going to do something back! I think he was shocked that someone had stood up to him. It worked though, after that, he left me alone for the next 18 months we were at school...
Perhaps trying to be nice is the wrong starting point, perhaps starting to be understanding might be a good starting point.
Well I was always the person who was the understanding one. I was always the shoulder to cry on or the person they'd come to when they wanted a favour only to discover that when things were going swell, they'd drop me like a hot potato and I'd not see them for dust. I'd see blokes who were utter dicks who got more respect than I did all because I wanted to be nice to people and I tried really hard to be a good friend but where did it get me by being nice and understanding and generous? Used that's where!
After I went through a very upsetting divorce after my ex wife had an affair I turned to my old friends but as soon as I got in with a girl (who's now my wife) who is disabled, my so called friends didn't want to hang around with me because they were too embarrassed to be seen out with us. One of my so called friends even had the nerve to tell me how he was embarrassed to walk in the pub with my girlfriend in case it affected his chances of pulling a bird. Lets just say we parted company shortly after that and the rest of the users got left by the wayside too. They would only ever call me up when they were at a loose end. About 6 or 7 years ago I decided enough was enough and I wasn't gonna trust anyone again or tolerate any more or being used by people and I'm better off being without friends than hang around where I'm not wanted being used and upset all the time so I went my separate ways to do my own thing.
Now when I go out I either go out on my own and just make passing conversation with people in the pub or I go out with my wife. I'm far happier being by myself than with friends and people who just want to use you when it suits them.
It amazes me that a lot of bullied people feel a delight in overcoming the bullies with violent acts.
Is that playing 'Nice'?
Well, I can tell from your reply that you have never been bullied, as if you had been, you would know that "playing nice" to a bully is the fastest way to get your head kicked in.
If a few pieces of scum get their comeuppance then that is tough.
Well I was always the person who was the understanding one. I was always the shoulder to cry on or the person they'd come to when they wanted a favour only to discover that when things were going swell, they'd drop me like a hot potato. I'd see blokes who were utter dicks who got more respect than I did all because I wanted to be nice to people and I tried really hard to be a good friend but where did it get me by being nice and understanding and generous? Used that's where!
After I went through a very upsetting divorce after my ex wife had an affair I turned to my old friends but as soon as I got in with a girl (who's now my wife) who is disabled, my so called friends didn't want to hang around with me because they were too embarrassed to be seen out with us. One of my so called friends even had the nerve to tell me how he was embarrassed to walk in the pub with my girlfriend. Lets just say we parted company shortly after that and the rest of the users got left by the wayside too. They would only ever call me up when they were at a loose end. About 6 or 7 years ago I decided enough was enough and I wasn't gonna trust anyone again or tolerate any more or being used by people and I'm better off being without friends than hang around where I'm not wanted being used and upset all the time so I went my separate ways to do my own thing.
Now when I go out I either go out on my own and just make passing conversation with people in the pub or I go out with my wife. I'm far happier being by myself than with friends and people who just want to use you when it suits them.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but, I get the impression you expect people to see YOU and the world as you see it, and have no understanding of different points of others views.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but, I get the impression you expect people to see YOU and the world as you see it, and have no understanding of different points of others views.
No. I just expect people to treat me as I treat them. I bit of mutual respect and kindness isn't too much to ask. Trouble is so many people today are all for themselves and only give a toss about what suits THEM.
I've tried being nice and doing things for people and being the one who's a good listener and the shoulder to cry on but they just take me for granted while some complete idiot in the group gets better thought of because he takes the no care attitude. I've tried the Mr Nice guy approach and it's got me nowhere while the ones who were complete b'stards who took the no care attitude came better off and didn't get hurt so after years of being treated like a doormat I decided it was time that I stopped being so god damn soft with people and started treating others as they treated me.
I've learned that people who take the no care attitude with people instead of those like myself who wear their heart on their sleeve seem to gain more respect and don't get hurt. There's only so many times I'm gonna let people knock me down before I come back with my guard up and start hitting back. These days my guard is always up and don't let anyone in because I've been used and hurt far too much in the past. Now it's time for me to take the hard faced approach and if you don't like me then so what? It's no more Mr Nice guy because Mr Nice guy just got shat on all the time.
The only people in my life now is my family and a guy who I call upon to go for a drink with occasionally. I used to think he was my best friend but he only ever calls up when his preferred friends aren't available so now I use him in the same way he uses me when I've got nothing else better to do. I keep him at arms length so not to get hurt anymore. As for the rest, I don't need anyone else anymore. I'm happier doing my own thing and pleasing myself.
Comments
And what have you achieved? (And it may only be happiness)
I was hoping she'd mellowed with age.... turns out she hasnt
I'm a software engineer. I've written small bits of code running in hundreds of millions or billions of devices around the world, making lots of things in your daily life run just a little bit better. Not as altruistic as environmental protection, but the pay is much better.
I just think it's amusing that the former bully ended up pursuing a career intended to do good. I ran into him several years ago and he seems nice enough now. He acted as if we were friends in school, which we weren't, but it was a long time ago and I was glad to run into someone from back then too.
Do you still speak to her ?
There was obviously more to him than just a bully, and obviously he had an affect on your life that made you glad to see someone from back then too.
Took great pleasure in telling her what he put me through.
I know he was on Facebook but he seems to have deactivated.
Was talking to someone else from our year, discussing a possible reunion & she said he was heckling her during a date she was having with someone.
Must admit the combination of a dark alley & a baseball bat have crossed my mind occasionally!
Why would I be a "wind up merchant"? If you don't like someone else's opinion then don't read it.
"Yes, dead hopefully or living lives of untold misery and suffering."
It was an honest question, so I take it that you meant the BIB quote above seriously.
Of course. I wouldn't have written it otherwise. If I found out they were dead I would rejoice.
One fell off a cliff whilst walking on holiday while we were at school. Can't say I shed many tears over him as he was a complete asshole. Our form tutor and the kids from our class planted a tree in his memory in the school garden. Shame it's not in our local park as I'd go and piss up it. For years he made my life a complete misery.
One is still a total dick who's made nothing of his life and is shacked up with a girl who's got 3 kids from 3 different fellas.
The other one went into the police force and was never seen again. Says it all really. At least he can legally bully people about now.
Whilst you were being bullied by several people, was your opinion of people nicer than it is now?
These weren't "my" bullies, but the worst of the bunch. And as for remembering them, after 3 years of hell at my school (and I wasn't the only one to suffer at their hands) I think it perfectly natural I would remember them.
Also, as a few met their ends in public ways (I was a pall bearer at the girlfriends funeral) it was hard not to know what became of them.
If you mean my opinion of them then no. I hated them for how they treated me. If you mean my outlook on life and attitude to people in general then yes, I was far more tolerant, easy going and polite and forgiving back then. You could say I was a total soft as shite pushover.
When you get treated like a doormat enough times in life it kind of turns you into one of life's cynics. Having being bullied at school then get used by your first serious girlfriend and then your wife cheats on you and runs off with one of your clients and then your mates use you and pick you up and drop you when it suits because they are too embarrassed to hang around with a guy who's got a disabled girlfriend, well it has turned me into a person who's learned to like being away from people in general. People just hurt me and make me angry and upset. Best having no friends at all than ones who treat me like crap and upset me. Best thing I ever did was dump my part time friends which only wanted me when they hadn't git anyone else. I've had a life of being used and shit on all because I try to be nice to people. There comes a time when it's no more Mr Pushover.
You sound a delight !!!!!
I won't name him but he has a practice in Yorkshire and according to his website he has secured many millions of pounds for victims of medical negligence. What a success.
I doubt he thought about what he was doing to various people at school while he was picking on them. He stopped picking on me in the fourth year at school when he picked on me one too many times and I whacked him in the bollocks. Like a typical bully he looked around for back up and didn't find it. He was, and probably still is, a piece of shit.
Perhaps trying to be nice is the wrong starting point, perhaps starting to be understanding might be a good starting point.
And I bet you had a smile on your face that day?...
I know I felt great after a final run in with on of my tormentors caused my to smack his head a few times against a brick wall. If only I had the guts to do it 3 years earlier it would have saved me a bucket load of pain.
Is that playing 'Nice'?
Well I was always the person who was the understanding one. I was always the shoulder to cry on or the person they'd come to when they wanted a favour only to discover that when things were going swell, they'd drop me like a hot potato and I'd not see them for dust. I'd see blokes who were utter dicks who got more respect than I did all because I wanted to be nice to people and I tried really hard to be a good friend but where did it get me by being nice and understanding and generous? Used that's where!
After I went through a very upsetting divorce after my ex wife had an affair I turned to my old friends but as soon as I got in with a girl (who's now my wife) who is disabled, my so called friends didn't want to hang around with me because they were too embarrassed to be seen out with us. One of my so called friends even had the nerve to tell me how he was embarrassed to walk in the pub with my girlfriend in case it affected his chances of pulling a bird. Lets just say we parted company shortly after that and the rest of the users got left by the wayside too. They would only ever call me up when they were at a loose end. About 6 or 7 years ago I decided enough was enough and I wasn't gonna trust anyone again or tolerate any more or being used by people and I'm better off being without friends than hang around where I'm not wanted being used and upset all the time so I went my separate ways to do my own thing.
Now when I go out I either go out on my own and just make passing conversation with people in the pub or I go out with my wife. I'm far happier being by myself than with friends and people who just want to use you when it suits them.
Well, I can tell from your reply that you have never been bullied, as if you had been, you would know that "playing nice" to a bully is the fastest way to get your head kicked in.
If a few pieces of scum get their comeuppance then that is tough.
I am sorry if this sounds harsh, but, I get the impression you expect people to see YOU and the world as you see it, and have no understanding of different points of others views.
I've tried being nice and doing things for people and being the one who's a good listener and the shoulder to cry on but they just take me for granted while some complete idiot in the group gets better thought of because he takes the no care attitude. I've tried the Mr Nice guy approach and it's got me nowhere while the ones who were complete b'stards who took the no care attitude came better off and didn't get hurt so after years of being treated like a doormat I decided it was time that I stopped being so god damn soft with people and started treating others as they treated me.
I've learned that people who take the no care attitude with people instead of those like myself who wear their heart on their sleeve seem to gain more respect and don't get hurt. There's only so many times I'm gonna let people knock me down before I come back with my guard up and start hitting back. These days my guard is always up and don't let anyone in because I've been used and hurt far too much in the past. Now it's time for me to take the hard faced approach and if you don't like me then so what? It's no more Mr Nice guy because Mr Nice guy just got shat on all the time.
The only people in my life now is my family and a guy who I call upon to go for a drink with occasionally. I used to think he was my best friend but he only ever calls up when his preferred friends aren't available so now I use him in the same way he uses me when I've got nothing else better to do. I keep him at arms length so not to get hurt anymore. As for the rest, I don't need anyone else anymore. I'm happier doing my own thing and pleasing myself.
Can't say I mourned her too much.