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Can friendships work if you don't have anything in common?
Hi. I know this may be a silly question but I have always wanted to know other people's views on this.
I am constantly told that you need to have a lot in common with people to have lasting friendships. However I think of marriage as an example (and stereotypes for the sake of the point I am trying to get across). So man really into football, woman really into cooking or going shopping but yet the marriage works. Not many women like football (virtually none I have met do) so if a marriage can work with little things in common then surely a friendship can?
I am constantly told that you need to have a lot in common with people to have lasting friendships. However I think of marriage as an example (and stereotypes for the sake of the point I am trying to get across). So man really into football, woman really into cooking or going shopping but yet the marriage works. Not many women like football (virtually none I have met do) so if a marriage can work with little things in common then surely a friendship can?
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So, yes I do think it's possible.
Yes I think I have that with one friend. We don't really have anything in common but somehow the friendship works. Having people saying you need to have things in common just sounds like rubbish to me. Personally I don't think there are rules on how friendships work apart from the obvious having to like being around the other person.
My mum's best friend has known the family since my sister was a baby so over 30 years and they don't have much in common at all. I think they do share some music interests but not much. However they are still friends after all this time. Friendships are strange. I've always believed that having friends with too much in common can be a bad thing because then you'd be more like rivals and competing against each other.
I don't know what me and one of my friends has in common at all. Somehow the friendship just works. I've always believed people can be friends with anyone and all the talk about needing to have X amount in common is rubbish. I guess I just wanted to know what other people think about it.
I think maybe it comes down to shared values, rather than common interests?
I didn't have many friends in school. I got bullied really badly so found it difficult making friends there. However I did make a few friends there in 6th form. Some have faded away and didn't keep in touch, most of the others only keep in touch over facebook so are aquaintances now. Only one from school days has bothered to meet up in person and we don't have much in common at all. However we get on fine. It somehow works.
Yes listening is good. It is more interesting when people can do what they enjoy and have other friends who do different things because you each have something to talk about. I agree with you.
I think this is true. The only common thing me and a friend had was going to the same school. But we get on alright. I suppose I would find it irritating if all my friends liked all the same things as me because I am not looking for a clone of myself lol.
If you read my post I did say I was using stereotypes in my example to get my point across so you can calm down and move on.
There’s a lot that goes into friendships, a lot that makes people drawn to each other and enjoy each other’s company. And that changes over time, as the people develop the friendship bonds develop – I certainly think it’s disingenuous to assume it is only shared interests which create a close bond.
I agree that shared experiences are more important than shared interests. On paper I don't have much in common with many of my friends but we have been through things together which create strong bonds that can last a lifetime.
Everyone needs their own interests but sometimes appreciating others differences helps too.
Obviously it's nice to have something in common but sometimes the things you ultimately have in common are the ability to let people have their own interests and they they don't feel intimidated by you and find you make a better friend than someone insisting you like a certain move or food or topic to talk about.
If that happens both ways, you made it! But people that are so different from me I find harder to get along with as it becomes a little forceful.
Lets see if it works.....
The best friend I ever had hated me when she first met me and I didn't like her to much either.
Over time though we built this amazing friendship, Where we would only have to look at each other to tell how we where feeling.
We helped each other through so much and had a bond that neither of us could explain.
People would always pass judgement on how we could be friends.
Because we where so entirely different.
Cant really explain what we had but it was special and together we just clicked.
Honestly I cant even explain what it was.
So yes is the answer to You're question OP.
Love and Hate are very close.