Oh for the days of wooing and courting in a non-virtual world.
i wish i could just go out and chat to women that confidently, but i'm a socially anxious person and i get very nervous. this woman said she understood my social anxiety, but all along it was just a facade it seems.
believe me, i would love to go and meet women outside of the virtual world. it is just harder for me than the average guy.
well she still replied to me a couple more times after she denied it and said she gets tested. i wasn't thinking that she would take it that much the wrong way. it was a stupid thing to say, but i was a quite paranoid and worried that i may have caught something
i guess that in hindsight it was a little blunt. she seemed the type to get upset about things easily, so maybe it did really upset her. but would a woman really ignore a guy for asking that?
Indeed it's a real shame. I suggest you try and move on from it and surely the right girl will come along. Maybe she only wanted sex and nothing else.
i am trying. i am just quite an emotional guy and after years of not dating, i really thought that she was someone that was ideal for me. most guys would be able to move on, but for me it's still raw, and i am still confused and hurting somewhat.
well she still replied to me a couple more times after she denied it and said she gets tested. i wasn't thinking that she would take it that much the wrong way. it was a stupid thing to say, but i was a quite paranoid and worried that i may have caught something
i guess that in hindsight it was a little blunt. she seemed the type to get upset about things easily, so maybe it did really upset her. but would a woman really ignore a guy for asking that?
really? I never thought she would ignore me because of that. Why would something like that annoy you that much? i thought it would be better to ask to be on the safe side and somewhat put my mind at rest.
It sounds sad, but i miss talking to her to be honest.
The sexually transmitted disease text - just a tad wrong. If you used protection and were worried its a discussion you should have had face to face. If you didn't use protection you may have came across as not looking after yourself and should have discussed that stuff before hand. And it's 2 to tango so why didn't you say you wanted to use protection and why didn't she? It's not difficult, no matter how in the moment.
Chalk it up to experience and move on. Texts are not a good substitute for serious conversations, call me old fashioned but my reaction to a text like that would be 'f off'
A very stupid decision in a moment of madness. i know i shouldn't have had sex without a condom, but i guess i didn't want to ruin the moment for her, so i just continued without it. she never suggested one neither.
A very stupid decision in a moment of madness. i know i shouldn't have had sex without a condom, but i guess i didn't want to ruin the moment for her, so i just continued without it. she never suggested one neither.
If you haven't done so already, make an appointment and get checked out.
Then start again, meet people in real life and talk to them, see what works and what doesn't. You do not need to find "The One" you just need to expand your social circle and make friends. A woman worth keeping will make you wait to have sex. Not that there is anything wrong with one night stands - so long as you are being safe.
Well it didn't bother you that much at the time, you know there's always the gum clinic to go to if you are worried.
honestly, in the moment i wasn't thinking about it so much. i know i should have been, but for whatever reason i wasn't, and i regret it now. i guess i knew that a condom would also hold me back in trying to perform, so i decided to go without. stupid, stupid, stupid decision, but never again!
If you haven't done so already, make an appointment and get checked out.
Then start again, meet people in real life and talk to them, see what works and what doesn't. You do not need to find "The One" you just need to expand your social circle and make friends. A woman worth keeping will make you wait to have sex. Not that there is anything wrong with one night stands - so long as you are being safe.
i think that i did want the sex too because it had been so long without any intimacy. it's just a shame because i really did want us to stay in touch, but i have no idea why she has reacted the way she has.
like i mentioned previously, i actually miss our conversations on the phone, her laugh, sense of humour, shyness amongst other things. i just wish maybe if i had been more outgoing about my feelings and wanting to see her again then she may have reacted differently; maybe she would have responded if i never said what i said about STD's etc.
like i said before, it's all still fresh and raw, so it still does hurt right now. I'll get over it eventually, but it will take a little time after all i invested in thinking she was the ideal woman for me.
I will 3rd What Joni and Blue Cheese have said!!.....do not let it get to you, perhaps it was just not meant to be and very shortly someone will come along who you will just click with in all areas. We women are funny creatures, just chalk it up to experience
Gutless of her not to tell him she doesn't want to see him anymore though (if that is what has happened).
i think that i did want the sex too because it had been so long without any intimacy. it's just a shame because i really did want us to stay in touch, but i have no idea why she has reacted the way she has.
like i mentioned previously, i actually miss our conversations on the phone, her laugh, sense of humour, shyness amongst other things. i just wish maybe if i had been more outgoing about my feelings and wanting to see her again then she may have reacted differently; maybe she would have responded if i never said what i said about STD's etc.
like i said before, it's all still fresh and raw, so it still does hurt right now. I'll get over it eventually, but it will take a little time after all i invested in thinking she was the ideal woman for me.
How do you know that she is not one of those barmy people who are HIV positive and go round infecting people?
Yes, really. It's a pet hate of mine and the stupidity of it was amply illustrated by the example I quoted. I'm just waiting to hear somebody describe how they slept with somebody while standing up against the wall in an alleyway.
I suppose that by the same token, some equally sensitive young man will come on here (hopefully not literally) describing how his mother came into his bedroom unexpectedly and caught him sleeping with himself.
i wish i could just go out and chat to women that confidently, but i'm a socially anxious person and i get very nervous. this woman said she understood my social anxiety, but all along it was just a facade it seems.
believe me, i would love to go and meet women outside of the virtual world. it is just harder for me than the average guy.
She just sounds cruel if she said that and then just blanks you afterwards.
I do really sympathise with you and I once got myself into a right state over a girl that started behaving coldly towards me, and would give me no explanation for this.
I got myself into a right state about it and it really affected me badly for several years afterwards.
At the end of the day, it didn't do me any good.
If you are anything like me (and you probably aren't!), you will want to isolate yourself and be by yourself. But that is probably the worst thing to do. See your mate a lot, get out and about, stay bus. Means you will spend less time trying to analyse what went wrong and pointlessly blaming yourself..
If you haven't done so already, make an appointment and get checked out.
A woman worth keeping will make you wait to have sex.
It's not the nineteenth century!
Woman can enjoy sex and initiate it sometimes, you know!
No it is not the 19th century and we have a nice little disease called AIDS. You did not show my full quote. If you think it is ok to have sex with people you do not know and not use a condom then go ahead.
Comments
i wish i could just go out and chat to women that confidently, but i'm a socially anxious person and i get very nervous. this woman said she understood my social anxiety, but all along it was just a facade it seems.
believe me, i would love to go and meet women outside of the virtual world. it is just harder for me than the average guy.
well she still replied to me a couple more times after she denied it and said she gets tested. i wasn't thinking that she would take it that much the wrong way. it was a stupid thing to say, but i was a quite paranoid and worried that i may have caught something
i guess that in hindsight it was a little blunt. she seemed the type to get upset about things easily, so maybe it did really upset her. but would a woman really ignore a guy for asking that?
i am trying. i am just quite an emotional guy and after years of not dating, i really thought that she was someone that was ideal for me. most guys would be able to move on, but for me it's still raw, and i am still confused and hurting somewhat.
i would, timing is everything.
really? I never thought she would ignore me because of that. Why would something like that annoy you that much? i thought it would be better to ask to be on the safe side and somewhat put my mind at rest.
Yeah she probably did. Why did you need to ask her anyway? Surely you use protection so it's not going to be much of an issue anyway...
we didn't use protection. This is the reason i asked her, because i was stressing and paranoid that i may have caught an infection.
The sexually transmitted disease text - just a tad wrong. If you used protection and were worried its a discussion you should have had face to face. If you didn't use protection you may have came across as not looking after yourself and should have discussed that stuff before hand. And it's 2 to tango so why didn't you say you wanted to use protection and why didn't she? It's not difficult, no matter how in the moment.
Chalk it up to experience and move on. Texts are not a good substitute for serious conversations, call me old fashioned but my reaction to a text like that would be 'f off'
Well it didn't bother you that much at the time, you know there's always the gum clinic to go to if you are worried.
A very stupid decision in a moment of madness. i know i shouldn't have had sex without a condom, but i guess i didn't want to ruin the moment for her, so i just continued without it. she never suggested one neither.
If you haven't done so already, make an appointment and get checked out.
Then start again, meet people in real life and talk to them, see what works and what doesn't. You do not need to find "The One" you just need to expand your social circle and make friends. A woman worth keeping will make you wait to have sex. Not that there is anything wrong with one night stands - so long as you are being safe.
honestly, in the moment i wasn't thinking about it so much. i know i should have been, but for whatever reason i wasn't, and i regret it now. i guess i knew that a condom would also hold me back in trying to perform, so i decided to go without. stupid, stupid, stupid decision, but never again!
i think that i did want the sex too because it had been so long without any intimacy. it's just a shame because i really did want us to stay in touch, but i have no idea why she has reacted the way she has.
like i mentioned previously, i actually miss our conversations on the phone, her laugh, sense of humour, shyness amongst other things. i just wish maybe if i had been more outgoing about my feelings and wanting to see her again then she may have reacted differently; maybe she would have responded if i never said what i said about STD's etc.
like i said before, it's all still fresh and raw, so it still does hurt right now. I'll get over it eventually, but it will take a little time after all i invested in thinking she was the ideal woman for me.
Gutless of her not to tell him she doesn't want to see him anymore though (if that is what has happened).
Would a man even dare to say this about a woman's capabilities in bed??!!
How do you know that she is not one of those barmy people who are HIV positive and go round infecting people?
WTF are you on about?
She just sounds cruel if she said that and then just blanks you afterwards.
I do really sympathise with you and I once got myself into a right state over a girl that started behaving coldly towards me, and would give me no explanation for this.
I got myself into a right state about it and it really affected me badly for several years afterwards.
At the end of the day, it didn't do me any good.
If you are anything like me (and you probably aren't!), you will want to isolate yourself and be by yourself. But that is probably the worst thing to do. See your mate a lot, get out and about, stay bus. Means you will spend less time trying to analyse what went wrong and pointlessly blaming yourself..
Good luck!