I think there's a very good chance my relationship is over, I have allowed myself to get caught up in so many other peoples dramas and lies and now being used as a scapegoat. My life has gone downhill in just 3 days and I did nothing to deserve it, being a good person is the quickest way to get hurt
Sorry to hear that Kitty, I hope everything goes well for you :)
I think there's a very good chance my relationship is over, I have allowed myself to get caught up in so many other peoples dramas and lies and now being used as a scapegoat. My life has gone downhill in just 3 days and I did nothing to deserve it, being a good person is the quickest way to get hurt
So sorry to read this Kitty love.
Being a good person shouldn't end up in pain for you.
I don't like the disloyalty and selfish childish behaviour behind that outcome!
Thank you all for your words and wishes, I just felt like I was going mad and couldn't understand what was happening or why but after I wrote what I did on here, it was just exactly what I was feeling at the time, I realised how much is was affecting me so I found the courage to tackle him about it. It's a very long drawn out story but the gist of it was things that I had been talking to his family about i.e his depression and his mood swings was being twisted and manipulated to make it sound like I was talking about him behind his back rather than sharing my worries with the people who know him best. Including his sister who I thought was a friend, all the times I had confided in her about him she had told him a different story. Obviously as this is his family he believed them and became more nasty towards me it was only when I caught his sister out in a lie that the whole story became unravelled and he realised how much I was being manipulated by them, I'm like his only strong link and they wanted that broken to bring him back into the destructive family fold. Anyway we stayed up talking until 5am this morning about anything and everything and it was like waking up to a different person this morning, he was being put under so much pressure and stress that his depression was at an increased level but somehow I broke through that and I came home from work today to a different person and a very different household. Even this morning his mum messaged me to try and start a conversation about other members of the family and I sent a polite but to the point reply of you will need to speak to the people involved as I am no longer getting involved in private family issues.
I will be civil and friendly but I need to build up a distance because as I said before I was becoming embroiled in so many things that really had nothing to do with me and when the s**t hit the fan I was the one offered up.
It's obviously only the first day but I'm much happier today and feel a lot more settled about him and us. It was just a lesson to learn.
Thank you all for your words and wishes, I just felt like I was going mad and couldn't understand what was happening or why but after I wrote what I did on here, it was just exactly what I was feeling at the time, I realised how much is was affecting me so I found the courage to tackle him about it. It's a very long drawn out story but the gist of it was things that I had been talking to his family about i.e his depression and his mood swings was being twisted and manipulated to make it sound like I was talking about him behind his back rather than sharing my worries with the people who know him best. Including his sister who I thought was a friend, all the times I had confided in her about him she had told him a different story. Obviously as this is his family he believed them and became more nasty towards me it was only when I caught his sister out in a lie that the whole story became unravelled and he realised how much I was being manipulated by them, I'm like his only strong link and they wanted that broken to bring him back into the destructive family fold. Anyway we stayed up talking until 5am this morning about anything and everything and it was like waking up to a different person this morning, he was being put under so much pressure and stress that his depression was at an increased level but somehow I broke through that and I came home from work today to a different person and a very different household. Even this morning his mum messaged me to try and start a conversation about other members of the family and I sent a polite but to the point reply of you will need to speak to the people involved as I am no longer getting involved in private family issues.
I will be civil and friendly but I need to build up a distance because as I said before I was becoming embroiled in so many things that really had nothing to do with me and when the s**t hit the fan I was the one offered up.
It's obviously only the first day but I'm much happier today and feel a lot more settled about him and us. It was just a lesson to learn.
Hi love and thanks for taking the time to explain what's happened. I hope this new understanding continues.
Sounds like a toxic family situation and what he does about them is none of my business.
You are wise to keep out of giving them any chance to twist your good intentions to suit their nasty game.
Personally I would have nothing at all to do with them. Been there and what a relief it was when the nastiness ended.
My lot are still at it between there infantile selves and it amuses me now.
Hi love and thanks for taking the time to explain what's happened. I hope this new understanding continues.
Sounds like a toxic family situation and what he does about them is none of my business.
You are wise to keep out of giving them any chance to twist your good intentions to suit their nasty game.
Personally I would have nothing at all to do with them. Been there and what a relief it was when the nastiness ended.
My lot are still at it between there infantile selves and it amuses me now.
Good luck love xxx
Thank you Ann
I am lucky enough to have a very loving caring supportive close knit family, don't get me wrong we aren't perfect but we are always there for each other so I don't have experience of being involved in a family like that, my kindness and naïvety was being used against me and seemingly has been for a while, I was just too oblivious to see it.
Today I came home to see the nasty texts he had been sent that made it seem like I was behind it all but they didn't know I had spoken to him all day, so we were both fully aware and it was like my eyes were opened to the hidden agenda that was in force.
You are right it's very toxic and destructive but I'm just thankful it was all discovered before any major or permanent damage was inflicted.
I am lucky enough to have a very loving caring supportive close knit family, don't get me wrong we aren't perfect but we are always there for each other so I don't have experience of being involved in a family like that, my kindness and naïvety was being used against me and seemingly has been for a while, I was just too oblivious to see it.
Today I came home to see the nasty texts he had been sent that made it seem like I was behind it all but they didn't know I had spoken to him all day, so we were both fully aware and it was like my eyes were opened to the hidden agenda that was in force.
You are right it's very toxic and destructive but I'm just thankful it was all discovered before any major or permanent damage was inflicted.
Xxx
I agree. You both know what the score is now and that can only be a good thing in the long run.
When you have a loving and supportive family it's difficult to realise what toxic people like this are up to. Good luck xxxx
Thank you all for your words and wishes, I just felt like I was going mad and couldn't understand what was happening or why but after I wrote what I did on here, it was just exactly what I was feeling at the time, I realised how much is was affecting me so I found the courage to tackle him about it. It's a very long drawn out story but the gist of it was things that I had been talking to his family about i.e his depression and his mood swings was being twisted and manipulated to make it sound like I was talking about him behind his back rather than sharing my worries with the people who know him best. Including his sister who I thought was a friend, all the times I had confided in her about him she had told him a different story. Obviously as this is his family he believed them and became more nasty towards me it was only when I caught his sister out in a lie that the whole story became unravelled and he realised how much I was being manipulated by them, I'm like his only strong link and they wanted that broken to bring him back into the destructive family fold. Anyway we stayed up talking until 5am this morning about anything and everything and it was like waking up to a different person this morning, he was being put under so much pressure and stress that his depression was at an increased level but somehow I broke through that and I came home from work today to a different person and a very different household. Even this morning his mum messaged me to try and start a conversation about other members of the family and I sent a polite but to the point reply of you will need to speak to the people involved as I am no longer getting involved in private family issues.
I will be civil and friendly but I need to build up a distance because as I said before I was becoming embroiled in so many things that really had nothing to do with me and when the s**t hit the fan I was the one offered up.
It's obviously only the first day but I'm much happier today and feel a lot more settled about him and us. It was just a lesson to learn.
Best out of your lives kitty, believe me, people like that will destroy everything they touch.
Yeah was a right warm day for sure! Was out for most of it, only just got on here, weirdly...
Bex, great that you have been moving and things are working out!!
Kitty, that is such a crazy but typical situation, the classic thing of people stirring, and I'm so glad you managed to catch them out in doing so. There are people out there who's sole purpose in life seems to be to ruin relationships, whether out of jealousy (you will find they probably call it 'loyalty') or twisted boredom. It sounds like something off the Jeremy Kyle show.
Thank you all for your words and wishes, I just felt like I was going mad and couldn't understand what was happening or why but after I wrote what I did on here, it was just exactly what I was feeling at the time, I realised how much is was affecting me so I found the courage to tackle him about it. It's a very long drawn out story but the gist of it was things that I had been talking to his family about i.e his depression and his mood swings was being twisted and manipulated to make it sound like I was talking about him behind his back rather than sharing my worries with the people who know him best. Including his sister who I thought was a friend, all the times I had confided in her about him she had told him a different story. Obviously as this is his family he believed them and became more nasty towards me it was only when I caught his sister out in a lie that the whole story became unravelled and he realised how much I was being manipulated by them, I'm like his only strong link and they wanted that broken to bring him back into the destructive family fold. Anyway we stayed up talking until 5am this morning about anything and everything and it was like waking up to a different person this morning, he was being put under so much pressure and stress that his depression was at an increased level but somehow I broke through that and I came home from work today to a different person and a very different household. Even this morning his mum messaged me to try and start a conversation about other members of the family and I sent a polite but to the point reply of you will need to speak to the people involved as I am no longer getting involved in private family issues.
I will be civil and friendly but I need to build up a distance because as I said before I was becoming embroiled in so many things that really had nothing to do with me and when the s**t hit the fan I was the one offered up.
It's obviously only the first day but I'm much happier today and feel a lot more settled about him and us. It was just a lesson to learn.
Family can be a right PITA. I'm glad most of mine live abroad, so I don't have to deal with them.
I've been fishing a couple of times at Luton Hoo, but we've only caught the one fish. We're still sounding out the area. My mate reckons that it needs to rain, for the fishing to improve. That happened last night and I was out watching the lightning, which was occurring in 3 different places.
My friend saw the Tring and Luton photos and said I should try and make some money out of doing photography. I said 'you've got to be having a laugh'. Maybe it's a confidence issue. I really would like your honest opinion guys, good or bad.
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Sorry to hear that Kitty, I hope everything goes well for you :)
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So sorry to read this Kitty love.
Being a good person shouldn't end up in pain for you.
I don't like the disloyalty and selfish childish behaviour behind that outcome!
You deserve MUCH better. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I totally agree.
There are many really good single people out there Kitty, never forget that and you sound as if you are far better off without him.
Sending a big hug anyway (:kitty:).
I will be civil and friendly but I need to build up a distance because as I said before I was becoming embroiled in so many things that really had nothing to do with me and when the s**t hit the fan I was the one offered up.
It's obviously only the first day but I'm much happier today and feel a lot more settled about him and us. It was just a lesson to learn.
Hi love and thanks for taking the time to explain what's happened. I hope this new understanding continues.
Sounds like a toxic family situation and what he does about them is none of my business.
You are wise to keep out of giving them any chance to twist your good intentions to suit their nasty game.
Personally I would have nothing at all to do with them. Been there and what a relief it was when the nastiness ended.
My lot are still at it between there infantile selves and it amuses me now.
Good luck love xxx
Thank you Ann
I am lucky enough to have a very loving caring supportive close knit family, don't get me wrong we aren't perfect but we are always there for each other so I don't have experience of being involved in a family like that, my kindness and naïvety was being used against me and seemingly has been for a while, I was just too oblivious to see it.
Today I came home to see the nasty texts he had been sent that made it seem like I was behind it all but they didn't know I had spoken to him all day, so we were both fully aware and it was like my eyes were opened to the hidden agenda that was in force.
You are right it's very toxic and destructive but I'm just thankful it was all discovered before any major or permanent damage was inflicted.
Xxx
I agree. You both know what the score is now and that can only be a good thing in the long run.
When you have a loving and supportive family it's difficult to realise what toxic people like this are up to. Good luck xxxx
Look what I spotted when I looked up from my mums kitchen window yesterday (in her new house) just happily sitting in the garden.
Best out of your lives kitty, believe me, people like that will destroy everything they touch.
Moving house in this heat is a bitch.
Glad you are feeling better Kitty xx
Hope everyone is alright
Yeah was a right warm day for sure! Was out for most of it, only just got on here, weirdly...
Bex, great that you have been moving and things are working out!!
Kitty, that is such a crazy but typical situation, the classic thing of people stirring, and I'm so glad you managed to catch them out in doing so. There are people out there who's sole purpose in life seems to be to ruin relationships, whether out of jealousy (you will find they probably call it 'loyalty') or twisted boredom. It sounds like something off the Jeremy Kyle show.
Glad you and OH are back on an even keel, kitty.
Housemoving is a pain in the backside at the best of times, never mind in hot weather.
Family can be a right PITA. I'm glad most of mine live abroad, so I don't have to deal with them.
I saw some of this on a slightly smaller scale.
http://ih1.redbubble.net/image.10978742.2711/flat,550x550,075,f.jpg
http://i61.tinypic.com/rsg4s4.jpg
http://i61.tinypic.com/rw5c3a.jpg
http://i61.tinypic.com/w0ahj.jpg
http://i57.tinypic.com/f3dr1d.jpg
http://i60.tinypic.com/vo4dp0.jpg
http://i58.tinypic.com/1zfsrcp.jpg
http://i62.tinypic.com/2vkm1qv.jpg
Everyone else HELLO!!! IT'S THE WEEKEND!
Previous links in case anybody missed them.
http://i62.tinypic.com/2a847so.jpg
http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showpost.php?p=73628546&postcount=598
http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showpost.php?p=73640624&postcount=612
http://forums.digitalspy.co.uk/showpost.php?p=73657657&postcount=625
Hope the move goes well Bex, I'd hate to be doing it in this weather! Also hope everyone is well
I'm supposed to be night fishing now, but my mate is asleep. Lazy ***t.
He was the one arranging it. It's almost like it's an unsociable hour.