Personally, I find it weird. It's that persons birthday, why should their siblings get a present too?
Because it's a nice gusture and means you don't feel lift out and it worked out in my family which is why I will continue the tradition in years to come
Nothing to grow out of love.
Feeling valued by parents is a good thing, no matter how it's done.
I didn't do this with my kids but that was decades ago and no-one did.
I think it's a lovely idea.:)
This was decades ago, 1960's. I also think it's lovely, and caring too, but like I said, as we got older, we did just grow out of it.
Most homes have a birthday cake .... isn't that enough for other siblings now?
Just what I was thinking, the party the cake etc are for them all, the presents which should also come from the sibling are for the birthday girl or boy. I am struggling with the concept of party bags for everyone, cake used to be all they took home and everyone was happy and felt cared for too.
Personally, I find it weird. It's that persons birthday, why should their siblings get a present too?
Why not? I love giving presents to grandkids, any old excuse will do and it's only a couple of times a year for two of them. They both know from the dramatically different value and number of the gifts who's the real birthday girl.
It's completely a personal thing, just needs consistency and handling right, but which way you do it absolutely doesn't matter if it works for parents, grandparents and for the kids.
Because it's a nice gusture and means you don't feel lift out and it worked out in my family which is why I will continue the tradition in years to come
You do that, I'm not saying you shouldn't. But why would you feel left out if on your birthday, you're the one getting the presents? Everyone gets a 'turn' so to speak.
Why not? I love giving presents to grandkids, any old excuse will do and it's only a couple of times a year for two of them. They both know from the dramatically different value and number of the gifts who's the real birthday girl.
It's completely a personal thing, just needs consistency and handling right, but which way you do it absolutely doesn't matter if it works for parents, grandparents and for the kids.
You do what you want, I'm not saying you shouldn't, just that I personally wouldn't.
You do what you want, I'm not saying you shouldn't, just that I personally wouldn't.
I was just answering your question "why?". No right, no wrong, purely a matter of personal preference. Some people (not you) seem to think there's only one right way.
I was just answering your question "why?". No right, no wrong, purely a matter of personal preference. Some people (not you) seem to think there's only one right way!
I just don't see how you can teach a child they have to be pleased for other people if you reward them each time someone else has a birthday. Mine always loved their birthdays but also got excited for the others when it was their turn and loved making presents for their siblings. Just can't see how it works if they have to have something made for them too.
Just what I was thinking, the party the cake etc are for them all, the presents which should also come from the sibling are for the birthday girl or boy. I am struggling with the concept of party bags for everyone, cake used to be all they took home and everyone was happy and felt cared for too.
I can still remember how special I felt on my birthday, when I was small. Sometimes I had a little party for a few school friends, other times it was just family but I was always pleased that it was "my day". Even stuff like being stood up on a chair while everyone else sang Happy Birthday made you feel special.
If other siblings get presents on "your" day it's not that special is it?
I can still remember how special I felt on my birthday, when I was small. Sometimes I had a little party for a few school friends, other times it was just family but I was always pleased that it was "my day". Even stuff like being stood up on a chair while everyone else sang Happy Birthday made you feel special.
If other siblings get presents on "your" day it's not that special is it?
Well speaking for my family , my brother never cared as it was always the done thing and he got 20 presents and the party and I got one gift .
I can still remember how special I felt on my birthday, when I was small. Sometimes I had a little party for a few school friends, other times it was just family but I was always pleased that it was "my day". Even stuff like being stood up on a chair while everyone else sang Happy Birthday made you feel special.
If other siblings get presents on "your" day it's not that special is it?
That's exactly it ! We mostly do home made presents the love that goes into those show the birthday girl or boy how special they are to the family, each chid has their day/turn. They love giving sometimes more than receiving. I just don't see how you achieve that by giving to them all.
Not telling anyone what to do but the idea a child would get jealous or not feel cared for or loved just because they didn't get a present in our family is madness.
Each to their own but I have never done it. Until my kids were old enough to make their own money then I would give them the cash to buy their sibling a birthday present. That way they realised that giving can make you just as happy as receiving and even though they are adults now, they love planning for someone elses birthday as much as their own.
Does anyone else do this? as I have a friend who gives her eldest a present on her youngest's birthday and vice versa. So they do not feel left out, personally I do not agree with this. As it is only setting them up for further trouble down the lline. My two know that their birthdays is their special day and they accept that the other one does not get a present because it's their brothers/sisters day.
Looking online it does seem that there are a lot of people who do this. My friend says she does it to stop a major temper tanturm spoiling the birthdays.
Christmas is different of course they understand they both get presents that day.
My annoying mother set this up with my kids years ago and I've only just managed to put a stop to it. She called it an "unbirthday" present and my husband and I never agreed with it.
I can still remember how special I felt on my birthday, when I was small. Sometimes I had a little party for a few school friends, other times it was just family but I was always pleased that it was "my day". Even stuff like being stood up on a chair while everyone else sang Happy Birthday made you feel special.
If other siblings get presents on "your" day it's not that special is it?
Well in our house, it was not presents, it was just a 'little something', that's all. We were well aware that it was a special day for the 'Birthday Girl'. All the stuff you mentioned above still happened, why wouldn't it?
That's exactly it ! We mostly do home made presents the love that goes into those show the birthday girl or boy how special they are to the family, each chid has their day/turn. They love giving sometimes more than receiving. I just don't see how you achieve that by giving to them all.
Not telling anyone what to do but the idea a child would get jealous or not feel cared for or loved just because they didn't get a present in our family is madness.
That doesn't have to follow suit, does it? It certainly didn't with us. We loved giving to each other too.
Our daughter is profoundly autistic and she simply doesn't get that her brother gets to unwrap her brother's presents. So she gets a small one.
I'd prefer not to, but it's hard enough convinving her that her brother, mother and I are autonomous people who think, let alone that the paper on that toy is designated not hers.
Her brother doesn't mind. Their birthdays are quite far apart and to make things fair, he gets a small one on hers. I think that's why he doesn't mind, clever nugget he is.
Well in our house, it was not presents, it was just a 'little something', that's all. We were well aware that it was a special day for the 'Birthday Girl'. All the stuff you mentioned above still happened, why wouldn't it?
You mean you weren't damaged for life, don't have a massive sense of entitlement, know how to give etc.etc.etc.(forgotten the rest)
You are a miracle but have to be the only one, surely!:D
The armchair psychologists can't have got it wrong?:o
My brother and I have birthdays in June and my sisters is just before Christmas so one year my mum gave her a present in June. I made such a fuss though that she was getting extra stuff, she never did it again, lol.
Our daughter is profoundly autistic and she simply doesn't get that her brother gets to unwrap her brother's presents. So she gets a small one.
I'd prefer not to, but it's hard enough convinving her that her brother, mother and I are autonomous people who think, let alone that the paper on that toy is designated not hers.
Her brother doesn't mind. Their birthdays are quite far apart and to make things fair, he gets a small one on hers. I think that's why he doesn't mind, clever nugget he is.
That's completely different situation, your daughter needs something and you give it, I was talking about children who don't have the challenges your little girl is living with.
Not telling anyone what to do but the idea a child would get jealous or not feel cared for or loved just because they didn't get a present in our family is madness.
It's nothing to do with jealousy or not feeling cared for or loved.
Well in our house, it was not presents, it was just a 'little something', that's all. We were well aware that it was a special day for the 'Birthday Girl'. All the stuff you mentioned above still happened, why wouldn't it?
Exactly. Some of the seemingly dogmatic opinions expressed in this thread are astonishing.
There are clearly two valid points of view on this - and it's all good.
I'd never do this personally, never seen the need. I kind of have the opinion that if you have a kid who can't get through their brother or sister's birthday without throwing a tantrum because they aren't getting a present as well, then you have a kid who is a spoilt brat.
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Comments
Because it's a nice gusture and means you don't feel lift out and it worked out in my family which is why I will continue the tradition in years to come
This was decades ago, 1960's. I also think it's lovely, and caring too, but like I said, as we got older, we did just grow out of it.
Most homes have a birthday cake .... isn't that enough for other siblings now?
I'd never heard of this until my grandchildren came along.:)
Just what I was thinking, the party the cake etc are for them all, the presents which should also come from the sibling are for the birthday girl or boy. I am struggling with the concept of party bags for everyone, cake used to be all they took home and everyone was happy and felt cared for too.
Why not? I love giving presents to grandkids, any old excuse will do and it's only a couple of times a year for two of them. They both know from the dramatically different value and number of the gifts who's the real birthday girl.
It's completely a personal thing, just needs consistency and handling right, but which way you do it absolutely doesn't matter if it works for parents, grandparents and for the kids.
You do that, I'm not saying you shouldn't. But why would you feel left out if on your birthday, you're the one getting the presents? Everyone gets a 'turn' so to speak.
You do what you want, I'm not saying you shouldn't, just that I personally wouldn't.
I was just answering your question "why?". No right, no wrong, purely a matter of personal preference. Some people (not you) seem to think there's only one right way.
I just don't see how you can teach a child they have to be pleased for other people if you reward them each time someone else has a birthday. Mine always loved their birthdays but also got excited for the others when it was their turn and loved making presents for their siblings. Just can't see how it works if they have to have something made for them too.
I can still remember how special I felt on my birthday, when I was small. Sometimes I had a little party for a few school friends, other times it was just family but I was always pleased that it was "my day". Even stuff like being stood up on a chair while everyone else sang Happy Birthday made you feel special.
If other siblings get presents on "your" day it's not that special is it?
Well speaking for my family , my brother never cared as it was always the done thing and he got 20 presents and the party and I got one gift .
That's exactly it ! We mostly do home made presents the love that goes into those show the birthday girl or boy how special they are to the family, each chid has their day/turn. They love giving sometimes more than receiving. I just don't see how you achieve that by giving to them all.
Not telling anyone what to do but the idea a child would get jealous or not feel cared for or loved just because they didn't get a present in our family is madness.
My annoying mother set this up with my kids years ago and I've only just managed to put a stop to it. She called it an "unbirthday" present and my husband and I never agreed with it.
Well in our house, it was not presents, it was just a 'little something', that's all. We were well aware that it was a special day for the 'Birthday Girl'. All the stuff you mentioned above still happened, why wouldn't it?
That doesn't have to follow suit, does it? It certainly didn't with us. We loved giving to each other too.
I'd prefer not to, but it's hard enough convinving her that her brother, mother and I are autonomous people who think, let alone that the paper on that toy is designated not hers.
Her brother doesn't mind. Their birthdays are quite far apart and to make things fair, he gets a small one on hers. I think that's why he doesn't mind, clever nugget he is.
You mean you weren't damaged for life, don't have a massive sense of entitlement, know how to give etc.etc.etc.(forgotten the rest)
You are a miracle but have to be the only one, surely!:D
The armchair psychologists can't have got it wrong?:o
That's completely different situation, your daughter needs something and you give it, I was talking about children who don't have the challenges your little girl is living with.
It's nothing to do with jealousy or not feeling cared for or loved.
Exactly. Some of the seemingly dogmatic opinions expressed in this thread are astonishing.
There are clearly two valid points of view on this - and it's all good.
That isn't what others have insinuated and said.
My thoughts exactly.