Genuinely.... I find commenting with a "lack of understanding" to be "offensive"...
To all those slating her mother and sister.... what should they be doing in that situation??
NO-ONE here can compare with the situation that HER mother and sister are in, unless of course you are the mother/sister of someone very high up in the public eye... and your offspring/sibling is allegedly being beaten on by their spouse...
I applaud them for going to extreme lengths to reached their loved one... reminds me a bit of Lee Chapman/Lesley Ash
I feel for Mel B's family, who appear to be between the devil and the deep blue sea
Obviously I'm going to disagree, I don't see how saying someone lacks understanding of a subject, in this case, DV is offensive.
Some people are confused as to why someone as confident as Mel B could allegedly be a victim of DV & I simply said, it could be a lack of understanding, which in my opinion, it is but was in no way meant to cause offense to anyone.
Regarding her Mother & sister voicing their concerns, slating Mel B's husband through Twitter, I can understand how desperate they must have felt but it's not something I would choose to do, surely at the end of the day, there were other options & really what good did it do except give the red tops a field day.
Mel's family seem a little unhinged. Threatening to go to the press if they don't get answers. It's not the sort of thing family are supposed to do. Mel must have cut them off for a good reason and I am starting to see why.
Mel's family seem a little unhinged. Threatening to go to the press if they don't get answers. It's not the sort of thing family are supposed to do. Mel must have cut them off for a good reason and I am starting to see why.
Genuinely.... I find commenting with a "lack of understanding" to be "offensive"...
To all those slating her mother and sister.... what should they be doing in that situation??
NO-ONE here can compare with the situation that HER mother and sister are in, unless of course you are the mother/sister of someone very high up in the public eye... and your offspring/sibling is allegedly being beaten on by their spouse...
I applaud them for going to extreme lengths to reached their loved one... reminds me a bit of Lee Chapman/Lesley Ash
I feel for Mel B's family, who appear to be between the devil and the deep blue sea
they should back off.
Mel has chosen not to have contact with them. She has chosen to keep her children away from them. She would have had her reasons - no one undertakes cutting out a parent/grandparent lightly. it is her choice, for her and her children. They should respect that choice even if they don't like it.
If it was an ex going to 'extreme lengths to reached their loved one' no-one would be on the ex's side. Some may go as far as to suggest it is emotional abuse. Certainly controlling, invasive, manipulative. why so different because it is a sister?
I think this whole thing has been blown waaaaaay out of proportion. The poor woman was in hospital for something serious and the world have jumped on the fact that her husband of almost ten years, has a criminal record (if it even went that far).
The poor woman should be able to be poorly in private and not have the world assume her husband is to blame. I know I certainly wouldn't want the world knowing my medical history, and I really don't have anything to hide!
I'm not accusing Stephen of anything but let's not forget he was arrested and charged with battery after beating his ex in 2003 and sent on a Domestic Violence programme.
I'm not accusing Stephen of anything but let's not forget he was arrested and charged with battery after beating his ex in 2003 and sent on a Domestic Violence programme.
And maybe it worked?
We have no idea if there is any DV. And nor do her family. They are making assumptions about her husband and adding fuel to the fire with incendiary, loaded tweets.
All we know is that Mel was ill enough to warrant a hospital admission and miss Saturday. And given that it is a Simon Cowell show she missed, we don't even know that for certain. He wants Tulisa back in the fold? Have her stand in for poorly Mel.
Mel has chosen not to have contact with them. She has chosen to keep her children away from them. She would have had her reasons - no one undertakes cutting out a parent/grandparent lightly. it is her choice, for her and her children. They should respect that choice even if they don't like it.
If it was an ex going to 'extreme lengths to reached their loved one' no-one would be on the ex's side. Some may go as far as to suggest it is emotional abuse. Certainly controlling, invasive, manipulative. why so different because it is a sister?
Isolation
An abuser will attempt to isolate the victim by severing the victim's ties to outside support and resources. The batterer will accuse the victim's friends and family of being "trouble makers." The abuser may block the victim's access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home.
Mel has chosen not to have contact with them. She has chosen to keep her children away from them. She would have had her reasons - no one undertakes cutting out a parent/grandparent lightly. it is her choice, for her and her children. They should respect that choice even if they don't like it.
If it was an ex going to 'extreme lengths to reached their loved one' no-one would be on the ex's side. Some may go as far as to suggest it is emotional abuse. Certainly controlling, invasive, manipulative. why so different because it is a sister?
Not sure I see this as the same situation as an ex partner. This is her mum and sister, ok their methods may be flawed but I understand their concern.
Perhaps leaving them to worry was a bit manipulative and cruel, while surely knowing they wouldn't let it drop. Surely a "she's ok" wouldn't of been too hard.
An abuser will attempt to isolate the victim by severing the victim's ties to outside support and resources. The batterer will accuse the victim's friends and family of being "trouble makers." The abuser may block the victim's access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home.
You're talking as though you're a part of her inner circle or something. You can't possibly know he is isolating her from her family. Having seen her interact when she was in The Spice Girls, she's hardly a shrinking violet. Didn't Mel herself get into a fist fight with Mel C? Maybe Mel is the one abusing her husband physically if we're going to go down that road...
An abuser will attempt to isolate the victim by severing the victim's ties to outside support and resources. The batterer will accuse the victim's friends and family of being "trouble makers." The abuser may block the victim's access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home.
But equally people cut contact with family members because the family member is abusive and the partner/spouse is supportive.
We just don't know which way round it is. I could very well be projecting as my parents are abusive and cutting contact with them was the bast thing I ever did. One of their control mechanism was 'concern' - they would behave terribly under the guise of 'being worried' about me.
Of course, it could be a double whammy for Mel. Abusive, controlling family normalising that behaviour so she is susceptible to abusive partners. We just don't know.
But the sister's tweets are very passive aggressive. And VERY public. Which is about the only thing - other than a historic conviction for battery & subsequent treatment - to go on when judging their respective behaviours.
Not sure I see this as the same situation as an ex partner. This is her mum and sister, ok their methods may be flawed but I understand their concern.
Perhaps leaving them to worry was a bit manipulative and cruel, while surely knowing they wouldn't let it drop. Surely a "she's ok" wouldn't of been too hard.
The problem is if you initiate any contact it just encourages them. With some people it has to be total non-contact. Even a quick 'I'm OK.' could open the flood gates and you are back to square one of trying to get them out of your life.
You're talking as though you're a part of her inner circle or something. You can't possibly know he is isolating her from her family. Having seen her interact when she was in The Spice Girls, she's hardly a shrinking violet. Didn't Mel herself get into a fist fight with Mel C? Maybe Mel is the one abusing her husband physically if we're going to go down that road...
I agree but certain behaviours are typical and should be bared in mind rather than assumed if we're concerned about someone. He has a history though its quite easy to jump to that conclusion.
But equally people cut contact with family members because the family member is abusive and the partner/spouse is supportive.
We just don't know which way round it is. I could very well be projecting as my parents are abusive and cutting contact with them was the bast thing I ever did. One of their control mechanism was 'concern' - they would behave terribly under the guise of 'being worried' about me.
Of course, it could be a double whammy for Mel. Abusive, controlling family normalising that behaviour so she is susceptible to abusive partners. We just don't know.
But the sister's tweets are very passive aggressive. And VERY public. Which is about the only thing - other than a historic conviction for battery & subsequent treatment - to go on when judging their respective behaviours.
Frantic with worry perhaps? Resenting that basic info is being witheld.
Just trying to understand it from their perspective ;-)
I agree but certain behaviours are typical and should be bared in mind rather than assumed if we're concerned about someone. He has a history though its quite easy to jump to that conclusion.
Frantic with worry perhaps? Resenting that basic info is being witheld.
Just trying to understand it from their perspective ;-)
But why are they frantic with worry?
She was only in hospital a day wasn't she? Could have been nothing. To get 'frantic' on so little information so quickly is a bit OTT. Especially, as it turned out, she was back at work the next day.
If she had been in hospital for a few days with no public statement, then yes. I could understand worry then.
But to ask if the children are OK? That's pretty nasty if you think about it. They aren't the ones that are ill so she's saying Mel hasn't made sure the children are looked after. Considering she has a husband, a PA and other staff and friends I should imagine Mel is quite capable of making sure the children's welfare is taken care of in the event of illness.
I agree but certain behaviours are typical and should be bared in mind rather than assumed if we're concerned about someone. He has a history though its quite easy to jump to that conclusion.
Frantic with worry perhaps? Resenting that basic info is being witheld.
Just trying to understand it from their perspective ;-)
Very fair minded approach
Its certainly a long time since she was singing how much she loved "Mama"
Surprised she hasn't silenced the conspiracy theorists? and not wearing her wedding ring hasn't helped the speculation.
I doubt the estranged family would have got involved like they did, if that was the case.
You're kidding.
The sister, in particular, seems to have form for running to the media every time Mel so much as farts. She's also bezzies with the ghastly Kerreh Katona, so I think dignity and general concern for welfare are somewhat below top of her list.
From what I've read of the husband, he too, seems a rather unpleasant character.
The family have a right to know whats going on imo, even if they've been cut out, if they're reading in the press their daughter has been taken into hospital, for whatever reason, they're going to be concerned and worried about their little girl. If nobody else is giving them information, then going public out of desperation seems perfectly legitimate to me?
The problem is if you initiate any contact it just encourages them. With some people it has to be total non-contact. Even a quick 'I'm OK.' could open the flood gates and you are back to square one of trying to get them out of your life.
With Mel being in the public its not so clear cut our relationships, they are being drip fed information. Mels staff should be more skilled at managing public and personal response, many more powerful than this family have been placated and managed.
She was only in hospital a day wasn't she? Could have been nothing. To get 'frantic' on so little information so quickly is a bit OTT. Especially, as it turned out, she was back at work the next day.
If she had been in hospital for a few days with no public statement, then yes. I could understand worry then.
But to ask if the children are OK? That's pretty nasty if you think about it. They aren't the ones that are ill so she's saying Mel hasn't made sure the children are looked after. Considering she has a husband, a PA and other staff and friends I should imagine Mel is quite capable of making sure the children's welfare is taken care of in the event of illness.
The press release that Mel was unwell was quite dramatic as ever with the x factor. It feeds on the emotion of all of us. I can understand such a reaction. And if they genuinely didn't know what had happened....... Claudia missed strictly because of her child. I would definately ask after my neices and nephews
The sister, in particular, seems to have form for running to the media every time Mel so much as farts. She's also bezzies with the ghastly Kerreh Katona, so I think dignity and general concern for welfare are somewhat below top of her list.
From what I've read of the husband, he too, seems a rather unpleasant character.
But none of us can truly know what goes on.
Can believe the sister is fame hungry [especially if she is still managed by CAN?] but the mother's tweets seemed a cry from the heart..... to me anyway
Comments
Obviously I'm going to disagree, I don't see how saying someone lacks understanding of a subject, in this case, DV is offensive.
Some people are confused as to why someone as confident as Mel B could allegedly be a victim of DV & I simply said, it could be a lack of understanding, which in my opinion, it is but was in no way meant to cause offense to anyone.
Regarding her Mother & sister voicing their concerns, slating Mel B's husband through Twitter, I can understand how desperate they must have felt but it's not something I would choose to do, surely at the end of the day, there were other options & really what good did it do except give the red tops a field day.
I would keep a more open mind on both sides.
Care to elaborate?
they should back off.
Mel has chosen not to have contact with them. She has chosen to keep her children away from them. She would have had her reasons - no one undertakes cutting out a parent/grandparent lightly. it is her choice, for her and her children. They should respect that choice even if they don't like it.
If it was an ex going to 'extreme lengths to reached their loved one' no-one would be on the ex's side. Some may go as far as to suggest it is emotional abuse. Certainly controlling, invasive, manipulative. why so different because it is a sister?
The poor woman should be able to be poorly in private and not have the world assume her husband is to blame. I know I certainly wouldn't want the world knowing my medical history, and I really don't have anything to hide!
And maybe it worked?
We have no idea if there is any DV. And nor do her family. They are making assumptions about her husband and adding fuel to the fire with incendiary, loaded tweets.
All we know is that Mel was ill enough to warrant a hospital admission and miss Saturday. And given that it is a Simon Cowell show she missed, we don't even know that for certain. He wants Tulisa back in the fold? Have her stand in for poorly Mel.
Isolation
An abuser will attempt to isolate the victim by severing the victim's ties to outside support and resources. The batterer will accuse the victim's friends and family of being "trouble makers." The abuser may block the victim's access to use of a vehicle, work, or telephone service in the home.
http://www.newhopeforwomen.org/abuser-tricks
Not sure I see this as the same situation as an ex partner. This is her mum and sister, ok their methods may be flawed but I understand their concern.
Perhaps leaving them to worry was a bit manipulative and cruel, while surely knowing they wouldn't let it drop. Surely a "she's ok" wouldn't of been too hard.
You're talking as though you're a part of her inner circle or something. You can't possibly know he is isolating her from her family. Having seen her interact when she was in The Spice Girls, she's hardly a shrinking violet. Didn't Mel herself get into a fist fight with Mel C? Maybe Mel is the one abusing her husband physically if we're going to go down that road...
But equally people cut contact with family members because the family member is abusive and the partner/spouse is supportive.
We just don't know which way round it is. I could very well be projecting as my parents are abusive and cutting contact with them was the bast thing I ever did. One of their control mechanism was 'concern' - they would behave terribly under the guise of 'being worried' about me.
Of course, it could be a double whammy for Mel. Abusive, controlling family normalising that behaviour so she is susceptible to abusive partners. We just don't know.
But the sister's tweets are very passive aggressive. And VERY public. Which is about the only thing - other than a historic conviction for battery & subsequent treatment - to go on when judging their respective behaviours.
The problem is if you initiate any contact it just encourages them. With some people it has to be total non-contact. Even a quick 'I'm OK.' could open the flood gates and you are back to square one of trying to get them out of your life.
I agree but certain behaviours are typical and should be bared in mind rather than assumed if we're concerned about someone. He has a history though its quite easy to jump to that conclusion.
Frantic with worry perhaps? Resenting that basic info is being witheld.
Just trying to understand it from their perspective ;-)
Its all publicity ;-)
But why are they frantic with worry?
She was only in hospital a day wasn't she? Could have been nothing. To get 'frantic' on so little information so quickly is a bit OTT. Especially, as it turned out, she was back at work the next day.
If she had been in hospital for a few days with no public statement, then yes. I could understand worry then.
But to ask if the children are OK? That's pretty nasty if you think about it. They aren't the ones that are ill so she's saying Mel hasn't made sure the children are looked after. Considering she has a husband, a PA and other staff and friends I should imagine Mel is quite capable of making sure the children's welfare is taken care of in the event of illness.
Very fair minded approach
Its certainly a long time since she was singing how much she loved "Mama"
Surprised she hasn't silenced the conspiracy theorists? and not wearing her wedding ring hasn't helped the speculation.
I doubt the estranged family would have got involved like they did, if that was the case.
You're kidding.
The sister, in particular, seems to have form for running to the media every time Mel so much as farts. She's also bezzies with the ghastly Kerreh Katona, so I think dignity and general concern for welfare are somewhat below top of her list.
From what I've read of the husband, he too, seems a rather unpleasant character.
But none of us can truly know what goes on.
With Mel being in the public its not so clear cut our relationships, they are being drip fed information. Mels staff should be more skilled at managing public and personal response, many more powerful than this family have been placated and managed.
The press release that Mel was unwell was quite dramatic as ever with the x factor. It feeds on the emotion of all of us. I can understand such a reaction. And if they genuinely didn't know what had happened....... Claudia missed strictly because of her child. I would definately ask after my neices and nephews
Exactly ;-)
Added to the drama
Me too. Not on my face though 😏
Can believe the sister is fame hungry [especially if she is still managed by CAN?] but the mother's tweets seemed a cry from the heart..... to me anyway