Need an excuse to leave a funeral early

SirMickTravis · 29/01/15 - 22:58

I've got a funeral to go to on Monday but I have an appointment at the Jobcentre as well. The thing is that I can go to the first bit of the funeral but the crematorium bit afterwards clashes with my appointment at the Jobcentre. I need an excuse to get out of going to the Crem but can't think of one.

degsyhufc · 29/01/15 - 22:59

Say you have an appointment at the job center.

[Deleted User] · 29/01/15 - 22:59

just tell them you have job interview ?

netcurtains · 29/01/15 - 23:00

degsyhufc wrote: »

Say you have an appointment at the job center.

That's not very creative.

Bex_123 · 29/01/15 - 23:01

SirMickTravis wrote: »

I've got a funeral to go to on Monday but I have an appointment at the Jobcentre as well. The thing is that I can go to the first bit of the funeral but the crematorium bit afterwards clashes with my appointment at the Jobcentre. I need an excuse to get out of going to the Crem but can't think of one.

Can you not rearrange a job centre appointment for a funeral? I know they're inflexible but jeez!

If it's that you want to go to the appointment can't you just be honest?

belly button · 29/01/15 - 23:01

Is it someone you were close to ?

farmer bob · 29/01/15 - 23:02

You've left something in the oven & must dash home at haste.

PrinceOfDenmark · 29/01/15 - 23:04

belly button wrote: »

Is it someone you were close too ?

Or close to even?

Pumping Iron · 29/01/15 - 23:06

Isn't the crem bit usually first?

belly button · 29/01/15 - 23:06

PrinceOfDenmark wrote: »

Or close to even?

It's late .

calamity · 29/01/15 - 23:07

IF your noticed disappearing just say you dont do cremations.. a lot of folk hate going to them no matter who it is.. I refused to go to my aunts many years ago as the thought of what they do to a body terrified me and I just couldnt face it...

lionsof66 · 29/01/15 - 23:08

Job centre are absolute bar stewards but surely even they will rearrange an appointment for a funeral?

degsyhufc · 29/01/15 - 23:13

Remember to take a selfie with the deceased as evidence

netcurtains · 29/01/15 - 23:14

calamity wrote: »

IF your noticed disappearing just say you dont do cremations.. a lot of folk hate going to them no matter who it is.. I refused to go to my aunts many years ago as the thought of what they do to a body terrified me and I just couldnt face it...

I don't mind cremations. I've only witnessed one burial and I said never again, it left me traumatised for weeks. The last burial I went to, I attended the service in the church and went and sat on a bench well out of the way during the actual burial. I said my own private goodbye to my gran, I had no wish to see her being lowered into the ground, it's just too awful to witness.

Rachael. · 29/01/15 - 23:44

I'm sure the job centre will rearrange. I know they can be arseholes but I don't think they're that insensitive? Then again the last advisor I spoke to was a total cow.

At a recent family funeral my cousin turned up during the service dressed in a tshirt and jeans and left about 20 minutes later as he was going to a stag do! Because he's the angel in the family no one batted an eyelid but I was getting told "make sure you go" when I wasn't sure I was going to have any child care.

[Deleted User] · 29/01/15 - 23:52

Unless you are there in the role of corpse, in which case you are expected to stay until the very end, I really don't think you need an excuse to slip away from a funeral between one event and the other. You are unlikely to be such a star of the show that the other attendees will be in a fever of speculation about your whereabouts. Just go to the first service, say a warm word or two to the family if they are around to receive warm words then...slip away.

dee123 · 29/01/15 - 23:54

Say you saw a ghost and run away screaming.

TrollHunter · 29/01/15 - 23:56

Fake a heart attack, when the ambulance arrives maintain the pretence then when it's on its way to the hospital, ask if they're drop you off at the Job Centre. Two birds one stone and all that.

jediknight2k1 · 30/01/15 - 00:01

If you go into the JC tomorrow then it's possible they will give a later time that day. It all depends if your advisory has a free time slot. If not it's probably better just to be honest rather than make up a story.

dorydaryl · 30/01/15 - 00:03

TrollHunter wrote: »

Fake a heart attack, when the ambulance arrives maintain the pretence then when it's on its way to the hospital, ask if they're drop you off at the Job Centre. Two birds one stone and all that.

Even a genuine heart attack on arrival at the JC would still see you sanctioned for not completing the interview!!!

Ah, just tell the truth to other attendees, OP. Most people know about the possible negative connotations of missing a JC interview. The fact that you are showing respect by attending should be enough.

Joking aside, if it is that you would want to attend the whole funeral, like others have suggested, why not contact the JC, tell them what's happening and ask if they can be a flexible about the time?

Toby LaRhone · 30/01/15 - 00:07

SirMickTravis wrote: »

I've got a funeral to go to on Monday but I have an appointment at the Jobcentre as well. The thing is that I can go to the first bit of the funeral but the crematorium bit afterwards clashes with my appointment at the Jobcentre. I need an excuse to get out of going to the Crem but can't think of one.

Is there a free buffet and a few beers in a nearby pub afterward?
If there is you need to think this through.
Maybe you could miss the whole funeral, do the interview and bolt back for the scoff to show your respects to the family.

dorydaryl · 30/01/15 - 00:09

Toby LaRhone wrote: »

Is there a free buffet and a few beers in a nearby pub afterward?
If there is you need to think this through.
Maybe you could miss the whole funeral, do the interview and bolt back for the scoff to show your respects to the family.

Pragmatic, yep! ;-)

degsyhufc · 30/01/15 - 00:10

How about asking if the funeral/wake can be held at the job center?

jenzie · 30/01/15 - 00:13

say you're leaving and leave

J-B · 30/01/15 - 00:13

I would arrange for the organist to halt the funeral music mid-crematorium, and drop straight into the chorus of Thriller. Then you stand up, go full MJ, and moonwalk out of the door. If you leave, you leave in style.

Jimmy Connors · 30/01/15 - 00:16

degsyhufc wrote: »

How about asking if the funeral/wake can be held at the job center?

... or re-arrange the funeral to another day completely so that is doesn't clash with the JC appointment.

Hey there!

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