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Settling for a mediocre partner - is it justified?

SirMickTravisSirMickTravis Posts: 2,607
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in General Discussion #1
The question is fairy obvious but I wonder also if people change their mind as they get older. Perhaps in your 20s you're looking for someone special but if you're still single when you are much older you tend to forget about love and find someone so you don't end up lonely and maybe childless. As much as I'm sure it happens I wonder if people are actually prepared to admit it?
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    itscoldoutsideitscoldoutside Posts: 3,190
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    #2
    SirMickTravis wrote: »
    The question is fairy obvious but I wonder also if people change their mind as they get older. Perhaps in your 20s you're looking for someone special but if you're still single when you are much older you tend to forget about love and find someone so you don't end up lonely and maybe childless. As much as I'm sure it happens I wonder if people are actually prepared to admit it?

    I doubt it.

    Although divorce among the old is much more common now.
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    bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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    #3
    SirMickTravis wrote: »
    The question is fairy obvious but I wonder also if people change their mind as they get older. Perhaps in your 20s you're looking for someone special but if you're still single when you are much older you tend to forget about love and find someone so you don't end up lonely and maybe childless. As much as I'm sure it happens I wonder if people are actually prepared to admit it?

    Define "mediocre" in this context.
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    DangermooseDangermoose Posts: 68,131
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    #4
    Nope. I made do in my late teens, twenties just so I wasn't 'alone'. Much rather remain a single old spinstery crazy cat lady than settle for anyone for the sake of it again
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User] Posts: 8,916
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    #5
    blueblade wrote: »
    Define "mediocre" in this context.

    Anyone who doesn't have the looks or brains of Rachel Riley probably.
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    SirMickTravisSirMickTravis Posts: 2,607
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    #6
    blueblade wrote: »
    Define "mediocre" in this context.

    I suppose someone who doesn't inspire any passion, someone who you aren't particularly attracted to. Just a fairly ordinary person. I assume most people don't fall head over heels with most of the people of the opposite sex that they meet. It wouldn't really work that way, we have to be discriminating. So I mean mediocre in the sense of the sort of person you wouldn't have considered when you were younger but yoou would now, purely because you think your options are running out.
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    NorwoodCemeteryNorwoodCemetery Posts: 1,653
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    #7
    SirMickTravis wrote: »
    The question is fairy obvious but I wonder also if people change their mind as they get older. Perhaps in your 20s you're looking for someone special but if you're still single when you are much older you tend to forget about love and find someone so you don't end up lonely and maybe childless. As much as I'm sure it happens I wonder if people are actually prepared to admit it?
    Women don't have to settle for mediocre if they don't want to - provided that their 'perfect man' checklist isn't too extensive. Even average women can ensnare a decent guy. Men below either good-looking status or six-figure incomes often need to settle for 'mediocrity'.

    Don't forget, many women will spend their 20s on the cock carousel and when the looks fade, and the clock starts ticking, they realise they need a beta-provider pronto. The bad boys often don't offer the same financial long-term security as Mr. Average.
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    bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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    #8
    Vernon Bennett wrote: »
    Anyone who doesn't have the looks or brains of Rachel Riley probably.

    Well mediocre to one, might be great for another.

    It's human beings we're talking about. If they're otherwise a good egg, why the hell should they be referred to as "mediocre"?

    If they're not decent, then they're best avoided. But using a term like "mediocre" is just patronising and insulting.
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    James_MayJames_May Posts: 606
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    #9
    As long as you don't tell your significant other that you think they're mediocre, haha. Unless it's a mutual mediocre affair and they think the same of you.
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    Pumping IronPumping Iron Posts: 29,891
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    #10
    I would never settle with someone who I thought was just average.
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    bluebladeblueblade Posts: 88,859
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    #11
    SirMickTravis wrote: »
    I suppose someone who doesn't inspire any passion, someone who you aren't particularly attracted to. Just a fairly ordinary person. I assume most people don't fall head over heels with most of the people of the opposite sex that they meet. It wouldn't really work that way, we have to be discriminating. So I mean mediocre in the sense of the sort of person you wouldn't have considered when you were younger but yoou would now, purely because you think your options are running out.

    Well I'd never think in those terms about anybody - and if I got the slightest inkling that's what they were thinking about me, I'd drop them like a bad habit.
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    Richard46Richard46 Posts: 59,834
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    #12
    My wife has never regretted it.
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    Pumping IronPumping Iron Posts: 29,891
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    #13
    NorwoodCemetery wrote: »
    Women don't have to settle for mediocre if they don't want to - provided that their 'perfect man' checklist isn't too extensive. Even average women can ensnare a decent guy. Men below either good-looking status or six-figure incomes often need to settle for 'mediocrity'.

    Don't forget, many women will spend their 20s on the cock carousel and when the looks fade, and the clock starts ticking, they realise they need a beta-provider pronto. The bad boys often don't offer the same financial long-term security as Mr. Average.

    Badboys make a lot of money, look at guys like 50 cent, Richard Blackwood, Phil Mitchell and Mike Joyce. All are proper badboys and all make a lot of money.
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    agrainofsandagrainofsand Posts: 8,693
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    #14
    Some mediocre posts in this thread...
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    agrainofsandagrainofsand Posts: 8,693
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    #15
    Richard Blackwood has been proper bad in everything I've seen him in...
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    lee_sharplee_sharp Posts: 605
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    #16
    Pumping Iron wrote: »
    I would never settle with someone who I thought was just average.

    Or a moose?
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    Rae_RooRae_Roo Posts: 1,185
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    #17
    NorwoodCemetery wrote: »
    Women don't have to settle for mediocre if they don't want to - provided that their 'perfect man' checklist isn't too extensive. Even average women can ensnare a decent guy. Men below either good-looking status or six-figure incomes often need to settle for 'mediocrity'.

    Don't forget, many women will spend their 20s on the cock carousel and when the looks fade, and the clock starts ticking, they realise they need a beta-provider pronto. The bad boys often don't offer the same financial long-term security as Mr. Average.

    Thankfully we don't live in the 1950s anymore, and women can be as financially secure as men, I mean really.... *rolls eyes*
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    SmoojSmooj Posts: 1,061
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    #18
    The only time I've heard people talk about 'settling' in this same sense - is women in their 40's justifying to themselves why they never married or had children.

    Along the lines of: 'I wasn't prepared to settle like so many other women do"

    It's usually followed by - 'of course, I could have settled'

    My point is, it's usually a way a certain type of single person claims some high ground.

    But most relationships, marriage or otherwise, are usually about some form of settlement or acceptance. It's not necessarily about looks - they change over time anyway - it's more - can we get on?

    I wouldn't believe any one who said their relationship didn't involve putting up with some shit. But successful ones find a level of shit they can live with, and succeed despite that.
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    ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    #19
    NorwoodCemetery wrote: »
    Women don't have to settle for mediocre if they don't want to - provided that their 'perfect man' checklist isn't too extensive. Even average women can ensnare a decent guy. Men below either good-looking status or six-figure incomes often need to settle for 'mediocrity'.

    Don't forget, many women will spend their 20s on the cock carousel and when the looks fade, and the clock starts ticking, they realise they need a beta-provider pronto. The bad boys often don't offer the same financial long-term security as Mr. Average.

    Aww...nobody settled for you yet then?
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    scottie2121scottie2121 Posts: 11,284
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    #20
    NorwoodCemetery wrote: »
    Women don't have to settle for mediocre if they don't want to - provided that their 'perfect man' checklist isn't too extensive. Even average women can ensnare a decent guy. Men below either good-looking status or six-figure incomes often need to settle for 'mediocrity'.

    Don't forget, many women will spend their 20s on the cock carousel and when the looks fade, and the clock starts ticking, they realise they need a beta-provider pronto. The bad boys often don't offer the same financial long-term security as Mr. Average.

    What a load of pathetic, poor poor me rubbish.

    You really do need to get out more and mix with a broader and better class of people. And also steer clear of the 'many women' who, as you so delightfully put it, 'spend their 20s on the cock carousel' - whatever that is.
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    flowerpowaflowerpowa Posts: 24,386
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    #21
    Pumping Iron wrote: »
    I would never settle with someone who I thought was just average.

    Perhaps you are after the impossible dream.:)
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    ElectraElectra Posts: 55,660
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    #22
    scottie2121 wrote: »
    What a load of pathetic, poor poor me rubbish.

    You really do need to get out more and mix with a broader and better class of people. And also steer clear of the 'many women' who, as you so delightfully put it, 'spend their 20s on the cock carousel' - whatever that is.

    This? Cock Carousel

    You'd think they'd get dizzy after a few years, wouldn't you?

    :D
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    DangermooseDangermoose Posts: 68,131
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    #23
    lee_sharp wrote: »
    Or a moose?

    Oi :(
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    zx50zx50 Posts: 91,279
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    #24
    SirMickTravis wrote: »
    The question is fairy obvious but I wonder also if people change their mind as they get older. Perhaps in your 20s you're looking for someone special but if you're still single when you are much older you tend to forget about love and find someone so you don't end up lonely and maybe childless. As much as I'm sure it happens I wonder if people are actually prepared to admit it?

    Not a good idea to start a sexual relationship.
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    Frankie_LittleFrankie_Little Posts: 9,271
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    #25
    Pumping Iron wrote: »
    Badboys make a lot of money, look at guys like 50 cent, Richard Blackwood, Phil Mitchell and Mike Joyce. All are proper badboys and all make a lot of money.
    I do miss Mike Joyce. :cry: He was my favourite misogynist.
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    gdjman68wasdigigdjman68wasdigi Posts: 21,705
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    #26
    my wife spent her 20s on the cock carousel, she really did..

    this poster is spot on....regarding six figures .well maybe not but she was on the greedy side so bigger and better..

    not that he is, hes a bit of a tosser really

    peace
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