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Mother shares bed with her boys aged 9 & 10 whilst husband sleeps alone

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    gregrichardsgregrichards Posts: 4,913
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    Why did the bloke agree to have his photo displayed within a newspaper story that's revealing he's in a sexless relationship with a nut case, and I'm sure the lads at school are going to have a field day with ammunition like this.

    To be fair he does say that they make time for sex but why the hell would you want the British public to know this is beyond me. Are they hoping for a spot on Jeremy Kyle?
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    WolfsheadishWolfsheadish Posts: 10,400
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    I wonder what people would think if it were a father sharing a bed with his 9/10 year old daughters?

    oops sorry - I just saw that someone else raised this point.
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    Guts and GloryGuts and Glory Posts: 1,739
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    To be fair he does say that they make time for sex

    True, they say time for intimacy is "scheduled". Sounds wild...
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    WolfsheadishWolfsheadish Posts: 10,400
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    EvieJ wrote: »
    This is wrong on every level, sounds to me like a selfish controlling mum who is not only happy to make all their lives difficult but is also happy to be very public knowledge.

    This won't benefit any of them individually and the family dynamics here are damaging long term. Their father is being treated like a lodger.

    Yes, I agree. I can't see this as healthy at all, on any level, and I wonder how the sons will manage relationships as they grow older.
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    Hugh JboobsHugh Jboobs Posts: 15,316
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    Vulpes wrote: »
    "But the Darbys, who have to schedule time for intimacy, insist they are prioritising the boys’ happiness."

    Pity they didn't prioritise the boys' happiness when choosing names for 'em.

    My thoughts exactly.
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    gregrichardsgregrichards Posts: 4,913
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    Yes, I agree. I can't see this as healthy at all, on any level, and I wonder how the sons will manage relationships as they grow older.

    That's if they manage to find women. Why leave home at all when you get fed well, get your washing and your ironing done for you, and never have to lift a finger in the house? You can bet the mum does everything for the boys and they will never be taught how to be independent. When they start having relationships they will expect the girlfriend to clean the house, have dinner on the table etc.
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    Guts and GloryGuts and Glory Posts: 1,739
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    Vulpes wrote: »
    Pity they didn't prioritise the boys' happiness when choosing names for 'em.

    Ha good one. Brayden and Kai, imagine having to put a name like those on a CV or job application.
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    Bulletguy1Bulletguy1 Posts: 18,429
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    francie wrote: »
    You have a point.
    It stood out immediately to me. Any father indulging that or even confessing to it would quickly find himself under investigation by the authorities with every chance the kids being taken into care.

    That's not going to happen here with this family because it's the mother in bed with two boys, the eldest who is also very close to the age of puberty.....and this is 'ok' simply because it's not the father with his daughters?

    To me it's totally unacceptable and anyone seeing different should seriously question themselves as to why.
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    franciefrancie Posts: 31,089
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    Bulletguy1 wrote: »
    It stood out immediately to me. Any father indulging that or even confessing to it would quickly find himself under investigation by the authorities with every chance the kids being taken into care.

    That's not going to happen here with this family because it's the mother in bed with two boys, the eldest who is also very close to the age of puberty.....and this is 'ok' simply because it's not the father with his daughters?

    To me it's totally unacceptable and anyone seeing different should seriously question themselves as to why.

    I never gave it a thought to be honest. It doesn't look too healthy to me (more to do with the age of the lads), not something I would do or even did with my daughter. When she was a baby/ toddler sure she used to come into our bed but she never refused, as a toddler, to go back into her own room.

    I just find their set-up unhealthy but maybe that's just me. You can have a close bond with your kids without sharing the same bed every night. I read that she'd lost a baby so I can understand her being anxious when they were so young but dear me...

    I'd like to hear, when they're "12-13", if she has any problems getting them into their own beds.
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    SeasideLadySeasideLady Posts: 20,777
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    First mistake - calling your sons Brayden and Kai for God's sake. How chavvy ! Second mistake - not putting babies into their cots/beds in own bedrooms much earlier than 16 months, like at 3 months when they start sleeping through. Lazy mother who couldn't be arsed to leave her bedroom to feed her children in their own room so as not to disturb husband who should have been in bed beside her from the get go. Third mistake - husband putting up with the arrangement, which should be ended right now. Making a rod for their own backs, and another case of poor parenting.
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    kampffenhoffkampffenhoff Posts: 1,556
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    As a Mother I find this situation distinctly abnormal. Kids that age, whatever sex they are, should be sleeping in their own room and beds. All of the kids I know, including my own, want to sleep in beds of their own. At the moment, our youngest is in our room with us in his cot but he's only 19 days old. I can't even imagine sleeping with him when he's as old as 9 instead of with my partner. It's just weird.
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    rusty robotrusty robot Posts: 257
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    Not sure if the mother is controlling or if both parents are weak. Either way the father doesn't come out of it looking good. What a strange and sorry state of affairs all round.

    I bet those kids grow up with major entitlement issues.
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    gregrichardsgregrichards Posts: 4,913
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    As a Mother I find this situation distinctly abnormal. Kids that age, whatever sex they are, should be sleeping in their own room and beds. All of the kids I know, including my own, want to sleep in beds of their own. At the moment, our youngest is in our room with us in his cot but he's only 19 days old. I can't even imagine sleeping with him when he's as old as 9 instead of with my partner. It's just weird.

    Congratulations on the birth of your son kampffenhoff.

    I agree with you this is a weird situation.
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    kampffenhoffkampffenhoff Posts: 1,556
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    Congratulations on the birth of your son kampffenhoff.

    I agree with you this is a weird situation.

    Thank you. He is simply gorgeous.
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    franciefrancie Posts: 31,089
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    Thank you. He is simply gorgeous.

    Congrats mum! (dad too) x
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    Pete CallanPete Callan Posts: 24,406
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    I think at around that age for a period of a few months I remember I used to fall asleep in my mum's bed. I can't explain why I wanted to be there rather than my own bed, but Mum never encouraged it, and while she'd never wake me up she'd definitely tell me to go to bed beforehand. She wouldn't let me make myself comfy either, or lie down, as she knew I'd fall asleep, though I did anyway.

    Every night for years isn't right though, they're old enough to know they need to be in their own beds, so just man up and tell them no.
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    reglipreglip Posts: 5,268
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    This is borderline. They will very soon be at the age of emerging sexuality. At that point it will resolve itself or become very screwed up
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    amelia_leeamelia_lee Posts: 11,589
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    It will most likely be the Mothers controlling them. From previous experience that is my opinion.
    The boys could not have wanted this story told to the press, but the Mother is telling it, they most likely have been made to feel like they should sleep in the bed with her.
    I feel sory for them when they go to school.
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    CravenHavenCravenHaven Posts: 13,953
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    Can we be sure the kids are not still suckling?
    They need to get a dog in there, make the full set
    :kitty:
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    *animasana**animasana* Posts: 1,712
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    Assuming these Mama's boys ever actually manage to break free from those apron strings, can you imagine how much of a mother-in-law from hell this neurotic woman could be? :o
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    shmiskshmisk Posts: 7,963
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    when my son was three he decided he wasn't sleeping in his cot anymore and wanted a big boy bed.

    big boy bed took about a week to be delivered so he slept with me in the interim - fun - being kicked in the back all night.

    big boy bed arrived, every night I put him in it, every night when I went to bed he was in my bed.

    this lasted til he was maybe 6?

    I think 9/10 is too old - or would be for me anyway. Last year when he was 12 we went on holiday and the room had the whole 2 single beds pushed together thing - when we arrived at 4 am we had to spend time making sure there was a space between the beds as he didn't want to be seen as sleeping with me, and I actually think that was pretty normal of him
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    Blondie XBlondie X Posts: 28,662
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    To be fair he does say that they make time for sex but why the hell would you want the British public to know this is beyond me. Are they hoping for a spot on Jeremy Kyle?

    I find the fact they've gone to the press with this far worse than the actual situation. What ever happened to keeping your private life between your own 4 walls?
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    An ThropologistAn Thropologist Posts: 39,857
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    True, they say time for intimacy is "scheduled". Sounds wild...

    Yep 2pm on Sundays. For 20 minutes after the washing up and before mowing the lawn. Sexy. :D
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    shmiskshmisk Posts: 7,963
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    Yep 2pm on Sundays. For 20 minutes after the washing up and before mowing the lawn. Sexy. :D

    surely the kids go to bed/sleep before them?
    can't they just be spontaneous in other areas of the house?
    scheduling is just weird
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    Ron_JRon_J Posts: 1,751
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    I think it is a weird sleeping arrangement for kids of that age but it has obviously become normal for this family. But then again, not once during my childhood did I ever sleep in my parents bed, or even in the same room as them.
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