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Alzheimer sufferer dumped back home. Husband then kills her and himself
bryemycaz
Posts: 11,738 Forum Member
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An elderly woman thrown out of a care home hours after being admitted because it couldn’t cope with her dementia was ‘bundled’ back into her house with her clothes ‘dumped’ in bin bags on the doorstep, an inquest heard yesterday.
Hours after Meryl Parry, 80, was returned ‘like a farm animal’, her 81-year-old husband John decided there was ‘no future’ for either of them and suffocated her.
Mr Parry then commited suicide 2 days before his trial was to begin.
He had realised that he could no longer cope looking after his wife anymore. e was also due to have an operation so he arranged for her to go into a home. Who said they specialsed in Dementia. However 6 hours after being dropped off she was returned along with her belongings in carrier bags dumped on the doorstep. After frantically trying to get somewhere else for her to stay he was told all the homes were full. So he gave his wife a sleeping draft and suffocated her with a pillow.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3149016/How-care-home-sent-Alzheimer-s-victim-husband-suffocated-her.html#reader-comments
Horrible story the care home should have been more sympathetic here was a man at the end of his teather. Elderly and ill the home should face some kind of action or a very close inspection of their methods.
RIP to John and Meryl Parry
Hours after Meryl Parry, 80, was returned ‘like a farm animal’, her 81-year-old husband John decided there was ‘no future’ for either of them and suffocated her.
Mr Parry then commited suicide 2 days before his trial was to begin.
He had realised that he could no longer cope looking after his wife anymore. e was also due to have an operation so he arranged for her to go into a home. Who said they specialsed in Dementia. However 6 hours after being dropped off she was returned along with her belongings in carrier bags dumped on the doorstep. After frantically trying to get somewhere else for her to stay he was told all the homes were full. So he gave his wife a sleeping draft and suffocated her with a pillow.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3149016/How-care-home-sent-Alzheimer-s-victim-husband-suffocated-her.html#reader-comments
Horrible story the care home should have been more sympathetic here was a man at the end of his teather. Elderly and ill the home should face some kind of action or a very close inspection of their methods.
RIP to John and Meryl Parry
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Comments
"West Cumbria Deputy Coroner Richard Chapman asked Mrs Pratt why she did not call the emergency social services team and keep Mrs Parry in overnight until another place could be found – steps that social services said should have been taken.
Mrs Pratt admitted she should have acted differently, adding: ‘Yeah, absolutely, I wouldn’t do the same again – I’ve reflected on it again and again.’
BIB Too little too late for Mr & Mrs Parry.
Exactly I notice a few people have said that the couples Son who lives and works in America. Should have done more, to help his mum. That's a tough one to call, while you feel a responsibilty towards your parents some people cannot just quit their jobs and their lives to look after elderly parents.
My parents have told me i'm not to give up my life to look after them when they are old and infirm. And I certainly would not be looking after my Mother and Father In Law as my wife does not want anything to do with her parents, we do not talk to them.
I'm actually experiencing an elderly neighbour, presumably, in the early stages of dementia and the impact it's having on both him and his daughter (who lives hundreds of miles away) is horrible. She is desperately trying to find the help he needs and he is fiercely independent and rejecting her actions. She can't move in with him and he won't move in with her. Her guilt is palpable. Sad all round.
Generally, I would be in agreement with you, that voluntary euthanasia should be available to those who truly believe they want to die, and there are genuine medical grounds for this.
However, this case is not such an instance, I believe. These were vulnerable elderly people who were in a difficult position that would surely have affected their judgement. The woman was suffering from Alzheimer's Disease which would have rendered her incapable of making such a decision in full cognition of what was being proposed. The husband was clearly behaving irrationally, and notwithstanding that, the situation was resolvable without recourse to ending life.
The care home was deeply at fault for their actions and should have contacted Social Services. SS should have fulfilled their duty of care to this couple and had that happened, I am quite sure the husband would not have wanted to end his wife's life.
What was needed in this case was not assisted suicide. What was needed was care, compassion and adequate resources to enable this couple to live the remainder of their lives in dignity.
I believe that assisted suicide is an option that should be open to sufferers in certain circumstances, but not when a resolution to what ails them is available. It should be a last resort when all other options have been tried and failed, and when the individual concerned makes a knowing and fully informed decision.
Good post.
"He told a relative: ‘At about 9pm, Meryl was bundled through the door and her clothes, which had been neatly folded, were stuffed in garbage bags and dumped on the doorstep.’ "
So are you saying the husband lied and if so why would he?
9pm?
Except it would seem she was.....
Sooooo..............
?
Absolutely appalling behaviour by the care home.
That doesn't work at all. People with dementia can't consent to 'suicide'; if you want assisted suicide, you have to ask while you are still legally able to make rational decisions.
This is astonishing behaviour by the care home. 'Wandering off' is the weakest possible reason for saying that you can't cope with someone who has dementia, for heavens sake. Do they not have a door, which locks? All newly arrived residents with dementia are prone to wandering if they are mobile. It's not as if she was violent, and even if she had been, any home worth its salt would have kept her safe until further arrangements had been made. I am amazed that ANYONE in the care business would think it appropriate physically to kick someone out like this.
Elderly and disabled becoming ‘bedblockers’, despite wanting to go home, as private care firms refuse to take on their cases
The privatisation of care in a nutshell.
It's so frustrating. Even a hospital bed being occupied for social care costs the taxpayer several hundred pounds a day, and as it says, they are using a bed that someone else needs more. But providing home care in a nice village somewhere is always going to be hard to fund: home carers don't generally even get travel time, so why in the world would they want to travel to a village in their own time just to do a 20 minute visit? There seems a lack of joined up thinking somehow: social services can't afford to pay money which therefore reverts to the NHS and costs a lot more. Maybe - here's a thought - home carers need better contracts so it is easier to get people to do it.
But yeah, it's far more effective for a newspaper to portray the care home as completely in the wrong and to use emotive language like "dumped" isn't it?
If that was the case she could have done more to help the poor man like put him in touch with the correct people to help him. Rather than just send her back at 9pm, he was a 81 year old man and would struggle to understand the reasons fully.
She works in the sector so would understand the needs of a particualr patient and could have given him the help he needed to find somewhere.
Exactly. It also said in the article that the care home manager had agreed to respite care while he had his surgery and the couple's g.p claimed to have informed the care home of his wife's needs. Whether or not this lady was "safer" at home was not the manager's call to make and she should have made sure this lady was safe in the home and contacted social services.
She handled the situation badly and she herself has acknowledged it so none of that is in question.
I'm simply pointing out that the article is using emotive language in order to make the care homes actions sound far worse and more sinister than they actually were.
My thoughts exactly. Do they not usually cater for dementia sufferers, I very much doubt it. To deny her GP told them she had a tendency to wander off is highly suspect and her response to her gross incompetence was very alarming.
Wouldn't do it again? Have they any skills or qualifications to be in this line of "business".
They need a thorough investigation.
Actually Claire Pratt is a qualified RGN and has been a nurse for many years. I know because I trained with her and know her personally. In this instance she made a bad call a wrong decision one which she admits she shouldn't have made. We all make bad decisions and sometimes these decisions can have awful consequences like this one has. Claire will have to live with that and unfortunately so will this poor couples family. It doesn't mean she runs her home badly or that she is not a caring person. The papers look for any excuse to vilify anyone they can and as someone else pointed out they use the most emotive language they can to make a bad situation worse.