A few years ago my younger sister sent me a letter, shyly explaining that she had feelings for a female friend. She hadn't told anyone else, so I was quite touched even though I was a bit surprised - she'd always been fond of boys. I did my best to reassure her that everything would be fine, and it was. When she told our mom, mom said she'd expected it, because of the way my sis behaved around the friend.
She now has a boyfriend again, but she's attracted to guys and girls and that's fine.
We've suspected my uncle's gay, but I don't think he'll ever let us know. He's never had a girlfriend. He's had a good friend since they were boyscouts together. They're now in their early 50s, and they still see the other at least twice a week, and go on holidays together every year. His friend has never had a girlfriend either.
Part of me would like to know one way or the other, because if he's gay, I wonder if he feels like people wouldn't accept him, and we would. But it's up to him and who knows, he may not be bothered about women, or never have met the right person for him...
My oldest son is gay - makes no odds to me so long as he is happy.
I think it's Mr Hoggy's genes as he had a couple of gay great uncles back during the time of WW1 (both too camp to even be allowed to join the army apparently although personally i;d always assumed it was a prerequisite...) And I have always suspected his dad would be a screaming Quentin Crisp if born 20 years later, with less societal pressure to be straight. He's very macho - but a little too macho, if you get my drift.
Their suitcase on the doorstep if ever either of my two came out as gay.
Can I ask why it isn't acceptable in your family?
I'll also add you just have to accept it - there is nothing you can do if a family member is gay - they are just gay, nothing you can say or do can change that.
My gaydars pretty shit tbh :( But I suppose that in itself isn't a bad thing because that just proves that a lot of gays aren't camp and are just the same as any hetero guy except they have different taste in sexual attraction
Obviously I can tell the really camp ones like Alan Carr, Graham Norton and Anthony Cotton but I was surprised when I read Kieron Richardson is gay (hey, he's hot :o). My gaydar picks up really camp guys but it's developed enough to pick up subtle gays.
I remember about 6 years ago at the school disco (sad I know) there was this lad- good looking, good fashion sense - who was dancing with a load of girls. Everybody was talking about him saying how hot he was and somebody suggested a bet to see who could kiss him first. I won but later found out he was gay. (He thought it was best to save us both the embarrassment and not tell me in front of everyone) But oh well, he's still hot
I have my suspicions about my brother. He's a bit too young at the moment to really be already put into a "sexuality category", plus growing up around women would make any boy a bit effeminate I think. He is very camp though .
If he did tell me or any one in the close family he was gay though, there would be no problem, we've all been brought up properly and know homophobia or general victimising of any sexuality is unacceptable in our house. I feel sorry for anyone's parents who think they have done a good job if they tell their kids that if any of them came out gay, they would be disowned. Can't think of anything sadder to be honest .
For bringing up two male children,both university educated,with
high-flying careers and never in trouble with the Police.
Shame on me, SHAME ON ME!:mad:
The fact that you have brought up two male children who are university educated, who have never been in trouble with the police and have high-flying careers is irrelevant in my opinion. You're not the first person and certainly won't be the last who has raised children, ensured they were educated and secure in life and kept out of trouble. These qualities are not unique to straight people. My parents have done the exact same for me (minus the career as I'm in 2nd year at university) their gay child :eek: how can that be possible
The shame on you is the fact that you have been so narrow minded that even if any of your children were homosexual, chances are they would never mention it to you for fear of persecution. I feel sorry for your children not being able to rely on their parent, someone who should love their child unconditionally. Also, if they advocate your views on homosexuality, I feel sorry for any children they may have who also have to suffer.
The fact that you have brought up two male children who are university educated, who have never been in trouble with the police and have high-flying careers is irrelevant in my opinion. You're not the first person and certainly won't be the last who has raised children, ensured they were educated and secure in life and kept out of trouble. These qualities are not unique to straight people. My parents have done the exact same for me (minus the career as I'm in 2nd year at university) their gay child :eek: how can that be possible
The shame on you is the fact that you have been so narrow minded that even if any of your children were homosexual, chances are they would never mention it to you for fear of persecution. I feel sorry for your children not being able to rely on their parent, someone who should love their child unconditionally. Also, if they advocate your views on homosexuality, I feel sorry for any children they may have who also have to suffer.
Yes me too. I've never been in trouble with the police and I did 7 years of uni and am an architect, first design on Grand Designs (which they like to brag about to everyone) it doesn't really mean anything to me but I tried really hard to make up for where I was lacking to make them proud of me.
I feel sorry for this guys kids too, because however successful and high flying they are, if you don't have acceptance then it really doesn't count for anything.
Success is relative, and you can't have self-estime built upon wealth, that's really very shallow.
If they were gay and too afraid to tell this guy (if he is for real) they are probably not happy, and that should be what you want for your kid. If it's not that they are gay it will be something else he doesn't like about them.
It's a good point that you make Geekygemini, if not for your children's sake, for future generations... at some point one's going to be gay and the cycle of hatred needs to stop.
currysock's sons sound made up. High flying careers, university educated yet still living at home with their Dad. They apparently like fisticuffs yet have never been in trouble with the police.
currysock's sons sound made up. High flying careers, university educated yet still living at home with their Dad. They apparently like fisticuffs yet have never been in trouble with the police.
Yep. They sound like real people.
hmm yeah, how successful can you be when your mum still does your laundry?
I don't know why people troll in this way... I mean I enjoy winding people up myself, but I stay away from some things. He is probably gay to be honest, I know that's a cliché but it's kind of often true on the internet at least. I've done my fair share of trolling gays and liberals.
The thing is you know exactly what to say to press their buttons and it's quite nice being forcibly told you are wrong about things and it's attention seeking too probably.
Anyway I don't think he's real.
I told my mum and dad last year, on Xmas day, that I was in a relationship with someone. The inevitable, "What's her name?" came up and I simply said, "Funny you should ask, as his name is Lewis." The reaction I got was, "As long as you two are happy then that is great. When do we get to meet him?"
People need to stop looking at it as "Gay and "Straight" and just accept the fact that people will go out with others that suit themselves best. It would save a lot of hassle for folks.
Hmm... it can be difficult for some of us though.
My sister is gay. She has not said anything officially, but she has been with the same woman for 5 years, the woman takes care of her kids, they go on holidays together, my sister cooks for her... that sort of thing.
It's a shock for me that my sister is gay and she has not admitted to me, even though I have asked. She knows I am no homophobe and all that I care about is her happiness. Still, I won't lie and say "yay, I've accepted it!" This is my little sister, the closest person to me in the world. We fancied the same boys, shared all sorts of secrets, that kind of thing. Now she's not the person I thought I knew. It's weird for me. However, I know these are entirely my own feelings and no one but me has to deal with them. If I had known since we were kids, that would be easier to deal with.
It's fine and good for some gay people to say "well this is who I am, DEAL WITH IT!" Err, it doesn't always happen like that in reality.
Like their dad, my boys are red-blooded,heterosexual males and I wouldn't tolerate anything other.
They enjoy their beer,sport,women and the occasional round of fisticuffs.
They are real men.:)
Haha. My gay brother spends more time at the gym, lifting weights, than anyone I have ever met. When he was still in school he was suspended for punching someone in the face for mocking his sexuality-- not something we're proud of, just a statement of fact. He's also just enlisted in the army. So much for your stereotype.
Haha. My gay brother spends more time at the gym, lifting weights, than anyone I have ever met. When he was still in school he was suspended for punching someone in the face for mocking his sexuality-- not something we're proud of, just a statement of fact. He's also just enlisted in the army. So much for your stereotype.
I abhor violence, but I can't help but laugh when some idiot meathead of a homophobe picks on a gay guy who is built like Mr Incredible. The meathead usually ends up picking his teeth up from the floor.
Oh and congrats on your brother's enlistment. Thankfully, he won't have to hide who he is now that DADT is consigned to the dustbin.
Hmm... it can be difficult for some of us though.
My sister is gay. She has not said anything officially, but she has been with the same woman for 5 years, the woman takes care of her kids, they go on holidays together, my sister cooks for her... that sort of thing.
It's a shock for me that my sister is gay and she has not admitted to me, even though I have asked. She knows I am no homophobe and all that I care about is her happiness. Still, I won't lie and say "yay, I've accepted it!" This is my little sister, the closest person to me in the world. We fancied the same boys, shared all sorts of secrets, that kind of thing. Now she's not the person I thought I knew. It's weird for me. However, I know these are entirely my own feelings and no one but me has to deal with them. If I had known since we were kids, that would be easier to deal with.
It's fine and good for some gay people to say "well this is who I am, DEAL WITH IT!" Err, it doesn't always happen like that in reality.
I sympathise with what you're saying re. having to just "deal with it" but that is what you have to do - you can't change your sister, she is gay, nothing will ever change it so you do eventually either have to ignore it and perhaps cause hurt and anxiety on both sides or you deal with it, accept it and just get on with your life.
I don't understand people who say they can't accept someone being gay - you have to, because that is what they are and your lack of acceptance won't suddenly make them straight again. You can unwillingly accept it, but you can't not accept it because it is what it is.
Most gay people don't realise they're gay when they're kids. Yes, they might have feelings towards the same sex but when you're a kid it is more confusion than anything else - because you aren't yet sexually mature you don't realise you're gay generally.
It took me until I was 18, after years of teenage confusion before I realised I was actually gay.
It sounds like if your sister does come out she has nothing to worry about with you, because you have accepted it, even though as you say you are finding it difficult to deal with your own emotions on the matter.
I sympathise with what you're saying re. having to just "deal with it" but that is what you have to do - you can't change your sister, she is gay, nothing will ever change it so you do eventually either have to ignore it and perhaps cause hurt and anxiety on both sides or you deal with it, accept it and just get on with your life.
I don't understand people who say they can't accept someone being gay - you have to, because that is what they are and your lack of acceptance won't suddenly make them straight again. You can unwillingly accept it, but you can't not accept it because it is what it is.
Most gay people don't realise they're gay when they're kids. Yes, they might have feelings towards the same sex but when you're a kid it is more confusion than anything else - because you aren't yet sexually mature you don't realise you're gay generally.
It took me until I was 18, after years of teenage confusion before I realised I was actually gay.
It sounds like if your sister does come out she has nothing to worry about with you, because you have accepted it, even though as you say you are finding it difficult to deal with your own emotions on the matter.
Thanks for this. I guess what I can't accept is that she hasn't told me the truth. I really, really like her partner. She's a nice-looking, fiecely intelligent and hard-working woman. She's also very funny with the kindest heart I've ever known a person to have. My parents love this woman. She is so good to my sister's kids as well. My sister's ex was a bit handy with his fists so of course I am glad my sister is in a good place.
Acceptance is a bit of a misnomer, I must admit. I don't think of being gay as unacceptable, but I guess it's a bit of a shock to me that my sister has kept something about herself from me. Again, it's like you said, sexuality is not some simple thing people just deal with. I've always thought if someone close to me said "WDIW, I'm gay," it would be no big deal and I'd be disinterested in the whole thing. However, it (for the most part) has happened and I'm a bit shocked at my own reaction. I started to question if I was as liberal and tolerant as I thought I was.
Thanks for this. I guess what I can't accept is that she hasn't told me the truth. I really, really like her partner. She's a nice-looking, fiecely intelligent and hard-working woman. She's also very funny with the kindest heart I've ever known a person to have. My parents love this woman. She is so good to my sister's kids as well. My sister's ex was a bit handy with his fists so of course I am glad my sister is in a good place.
Acceptance is a bit of a misnomer, I must admit. I don't think of being gay as unacceptable, but I guess it's a bit of a shock to me that my sister has kept something about herself from me. Again, it's like you said, sexuality is not some simple thing people just deal with. I've always thought if someone close to me said "WDIW, I'm gay," it would be no big deal and I'd be disinterested in the whole thing. However, it (for the most part) has happened and I'm a bit shocked at my own reaction. I started to question if I was as liberal and tolerant as I thought I was.
She is still the same person though?
Why would you think she was a different person? people change, but not that much.
Comments
That is a truly chilling post
She now has a boyfriend again, but she's attracted to guys and girls and that's fine.
We've suspected my uncle's gay, but I don't think he'll ever let us know. He's never had a girlfriend. He's had a good friend since they were boyscouts together. They're now in their early 50s, and they still see the other at least twice a week, and go on holidays together every year. His friend has never had a girlfriend either.
Part of me would like to know one way or the other, because if he's gay, I wonder if he feels like people wouldn't accept him, and we would. But it's up to him and who knows, he may not be bothered about women, or never have met the right person for him...
Nah, he means like Bo Dixon. Ruff 'n' Tuff. Grrrrrrr.:D
I think it's Mr Hoggy's genes as he had a couple of gay great uncles back during the time of WW1 (both too camp to even be allowed to join the army apparently although personally i;d always assumed it was a prerequisite...) And I have always suspected his dad would be a screaming Quentin Crisp if born 20 years later, with less societal pressure to be straight. He's very macho - but a little too macho, if you get my drift.
And I'm more man than you will EVER be. Now, where did I put that pair of sling-backs?
Guess he's a grower then!
Can I ask why it isn't acceptable in your family?
I'll also add you just have to accept it - there is nothing you can do if a family member is gay - they are just gay, nothing you can say or do can change that.
Obviously I can tell the really camp ones like Alan Carr, Graham Norton and Anthony Cotton but I was surprised when I read Kieron Richardson is gay (hey, he's hot
I remember about 6 years ago at the school disco (sad I know) there was this lad- good looking, good fashion sense - who was dancing with a load of girls. Everybody was talking about him saying how hot he was and somebody suggested a bet to see who could kiss him first. I won but later found out he was gay. (He thought it was best to save us both the embarrassment and not tell me in front of everyone) But oh well, he's still hot
If he did tell me or any one in the close family he was gay though, there would be no problem, we've all been brought up properly and know homophobia or general victimising of any sexuality is unacceptable in our house. I feel sorry for anyone's parents who think they have done a good job if they tell their kids that if any of them came out gay, they would be disowned. Can't think of anything sadder to be honest
Check out his occupation.......... it says 'trolling'!
The fact that you have brought up two male children who are university educated, who have never been in trouble with the police and have high-flying careers is irrelevant in my opinion. You're not the first person and certainly won't be the last who has raised children, ensured they were educated and secure in life and kept out of trouble. These qualities are not unique to straight people. My parents have done the exact same for me (minus the career as I'm in 2nd year at university) their gay child :eek: how can that be possible
The shame on you is the fact that you have been so narrow minded that even if any of your children were homosexual, chances are they would never mention it to you for fear of persecution. I feel sorry for your children not being able to rely on their parent, someone who should love their child unconditionally. Also, if they advocate your views on homosexuality, I feel sorry for any children they may have who also have to suffer.
Yes me too. I've never been in trouble with the police and I did 7 years of uni and am an architect, first design on Grand Designs (which they like to brag about to everyone) it doesn't really mean anything to me but I tried really hard to make up for where I was lacking to make them proud of me.
I feel sorry for this guys kids too, because however successful and high flying they are, if you don't have acceptance then it really doesn't count for anything.
Success is relative, and you can't have self-estime built upon wealth, that's really very shallow.
If they were gay and too afraid to tell this guy (if he is for real) they are probably not happy, and that should be what you want for your kid. If it's not that they are gay it will be something else he doesn't like about them.
It's a good point that you make Geekygemini, if not for your children's sake, for future generations... at some point one's going to be gay and the cycle of hatred needs to stop.
Yep. They sound like real people.
hmm yeah, how successful can you be when your mum still does your laundry?
I don't know why people troll in this way... I mean I enjoy winding people up myself, but I stay away from some things. He is probably gay to be honest, I know that's a cliché but it's kind of often true on the internet at least. I've done my fair share of trolling gays and liberals.
The thing is you know exactly what to say to press their buttons and it's quite nice being forcibly told you are wrong about things and it's attention seeking too probably.
Anyway I don't think he's real.
Hmm... it can be difficult for some of us though.
My sister is gay. She has not said anything officially, but she has been with the same woman for 5 years, the woman takes care of her kids, they go on holidays together, my sister cooks for her... that sort of thing.
It's a shock for me that my sister is gay and she has not admitted to me, even though I have asked. She knows I am no homophobe and all that I care about is her happiness. Still, I won't lie and say "yay, I've accepted it!" This is my little sister, the closest person to me in the world. We fancied the same boys, shared all sorts of secrets, that kind of thing. Now she's not the person I thought I knew. It's weird for me. However, I know these are entirely my own feelings and no one but me has to deal with them. If I had known since we were kids, that would be easier to deal with.
It's fine and good for some gay people to say "well this is who I am, DEAL WITH IT!" Err, it doesn't always happen like that in reality.
Deleted. Don't Feed The Trolls.
Haha. My gay brother spends more time at the gym, lifting weights, than anyone I have ever met. When he was still in school he was suspended for punching someone in the face for mocking his sexuality-- not something we're proud of, just a statement of fact. He's also just enlisted in the army. So much for your stereotype.
I abhor violence, but I can't help but laugh when some idiot meathead of a homophobe picks on a gay guy who is built like Mr Incredible. The meathead usually ends up picking his teeth up from the floor.
Oh and congrats on your brother's enlistment. Thankfully, he won't have to hide who he is now that DADT is consigned to the dustbin.
I sympathise with what you're saying re. having to just "deal with it" but that is what you have to do - you can't change your sister, she is gay, nothing will ever change it so you do eventually either have to ignore it and perhaps cause hurt and anxiety on both sides or you deal with it, accept it and just get on with your life.
I don't understand people who say they can't accept someone being gay - you have to, because that is what they are and your lack of acceptance won't suddenly make them straight again. You can unwillingly accept it, but you can't not accept it because it is what it is.
Most gay people don't realise they're gay when they're kids. Yes, they might have feelings towards the same sex but when you're a kid it is more confusion than anything else - because you aren't yet sexually mature you don't realise you're gay generally.
It took me until I was 18, after years of teenage confusion before I realised I was actually gay.
It sounds like if your sister does come out she has nothing to worry about with you, because you have accepted it, even though as you say you are finding it difficult to deal with your own emotions on the matter.
Thanks for this. I guess what I can't accept is that she hasn't told me the truth. I really, really like her partner. She's a nice-looking, fiecely intelligent and hard-working woman. She's also very funny with the kindest heart I've ever known a person to have. My parents love this woman. She is so good to my sister's kids as well. My sister's ex was a bit handy with his fists so of course I am glad my sister is in a good place.
Acceptance is a bit of a misnomer, I must admit. I don't think of being gay as unacceptable, but I guess it's a bit of a shock to me that my sister has kept something about herself from me. Again, it's like you said, sexuality is not some simple thing people just deal with. I've always thought if someone close to me said "WDIW, I'm gay," it would be no big deal and I'd be disinterested in the whole thing. However, it (for the most part) has happened and I'm a bit shocked at my own reaction. I started to question if I was as liberal and tolerant as I thought I was.
You're obviously trolling so i'm not going to get upset about it, however there is a gaping hole in your logic...
Straight Men - They like women, soft, feminine, sensitive and pretty (terrible generalization of women, I know)
Gay Men - We like hot, muscly, rugged men to bend over so we can do them in the bum.
2 sweating, heaving male bodies sex wrestling with each other is hardly gay! Gentle, tender lovemaking with a woman however seems to fit the bill
So in short, go play with your girly tit's you big bunch of puffs - we've got muscle laden bums and cocks to deal with. F**king pussies
(10 points to anyone who knows which comedian I shamelessly stole that from)
She is still the same person though?
Why would you think she was a different person? people change, but not that much.