The other week he sprained his leg. He wanted an air ambulance, at the very least. And the amount of hammy groaning and whining. You sprained your leg, you tit. That is all. I helpfully suggested it but he was writing in agony in a chair whining for me to ring NHS Direct cos he decided to do this on a weekend. Had to inconvenience a friend to drive him to hospital in the end. The verdict? Sprained his leg. Cue hobbling round on crutches and hamming it up for a week. (Constantly stopping us to check we are reacting sufficiently to his agony).
Five days earlier I had a bad fall (racing my 12 year old who cheated and tripped me up) and tore a muscle in my knee, apparently. The pain from it was so bad I wanted to vomit. Didn't even bother to go to the dr's. Still hurts a bit and there is an intriguing lump on my leg but I have managed not to stop the traffic with my theatrical whingings.
With regards to the 'man injury' another one that drives me insane is that I accidentally kicked him in the nose when he was biting my foot because it tickled and he sulked and made me feel guilty that I'd 'hurt' him for ages, yet when we were having a tickle fight, he squeezed the tops of my arms so tightly I had hideous bruises that I had to hide incase anyone saw and thought he was beating me up, yet that was my fault for 'bruising too easily' :rolleyes:
When he spills something on the worktop or floor he just leaves it there. Doesn't think to get a cloth and wipe it up.
Drying the dishes and just leaving them there instead of putting them away.
Never being able to find his keys, nearly every single morning!
These must be built into men when they're born or something! Other half just leaves mess everywhere! I actually told him to wash the tuna drainage he'd left all over the sink after I had just scrubbed it, yet I hate 'nagging' because I feel that's all I do! A bit of respect... :D
And, when we're about to go out somewhere, 'where's my hat?' or 'where's my phone?'. The most regular one is 'where's my watch?' - I don't bloody know it's your watch ffs! :rolleyes::D
These must be built into men when they're born or something! Other half just leaves mess everywhere! I actually told him to wash the tuna drainage he'd left all over the sink after I had just scrubbed it, yet I hate 'nagging' because I feel that's all I do! A bit of respect... :D
And, when we're about to go out somewhere, 'where's my hat?' or 'where's my phone?'. The most regular one is 'where's my watch?' - I don't bloody know it's your watch ffs! :rolleyes::D
I keep a little checklist in my head of things I need to ask him if he has before we leave to go somewhere. If I don't we will be backwards and forwards to the house when he remembers something else.
Weeing on the seat and thinking I will clean up after him, having a month of work which he also thinks is a month doing absolutely ANYTHING
I think my biggest annoyance at the minute is that he has obviously decided he is deaf or something because every time I get in the car, he MUST have his music playing at 50, then when I tell him to get off at the next junction he completely misses it and then he decides to turn the music down to 25 just so that he can spend the next THEEE HOURS complaining that I didn't tell him the douchebag
Channel Hopping instead of picking a channel and sticking to it he's swapping every few minutes so you end up watching nowt:mad:
,and sitting Huffing and Tutting ,every couple of minutes :mad::mad: I'm sure he does it that often he's unaware he's doing it any more ,Well YOU ARE so just STOP it drives me mad ,i could cheerfully smash him round the chops everytime he does it and feel no remorse
Oh and his ability to not just shake our house ,but the whole bloody street to it's foundations with his snoring ,:eek: if this carries on he won't reach another birthday ,even though we've been married for over 30 years it still drives me to want to put a pillow over his face till he's no more
The other week he sprained his leg. He wanted an air ambulance, at the very least. And the amount of hammy groaning and whining. You sprained your leg, you tit. That is all. I helpfully suggested it but he was writing in agony in a chair whining for me to ring NHS Direct cos he decided to do this on a weekend. Had to inconvenience a friend to drive him to hospital in the end. The verdict? Sprained his leg. Cue hobbling round on crutches and hamming it up for a week. (Constantly stopping us to check we are reacting sufficiently to his agony).
Five days earlier I had a bad fall (racing my 12 year old who cheated and tripped me up) and tore a muscle in my knee, apparently. The pain from it was so bad I wanted to vomit. Didn't even bother to go to the dr's. Still hurts a bit and there is an intriguing lump on my leg but I have managed not to stop the traffic with my theatrical whingings.
I take all this "man injury" stuff with a pinch of salt. The reality is probably women don't like not being the centre of attention so ridicule men when they are hurt or ill.
Any nurse I have spoken to has said women are far worse to nurse than men - seems they whine and whinge much, much more. It doesn't add up tbh.
Its interesting that 8 or 9 out of 10 of the folks bitching about their partner on this thread are women. I am not sure if it means we men are more forgiving without the hair trigger moan gene or that we are more annoying.
Anyway here in an attempt to even up the odds is my bit of bitching.
We had a door handle into the bathroom that needed tightening up. About every 20th time you used it , it would come off in your hand. It was annoying but not enough to make you get the tool box out and do it straight away so it went on my to do list.
Eventually I got my stuff out and started undoing the screws. I then selected some slightly larger ones and screwing them in. Cue Mrs C hovering over my shoulder, "Oh so your using crosshead screws? Cant you use slot screws aren't they better?"
$%$%^&*&*!!!!!!
The annoying thing is that if I hadn't done the job, twenty years from now that door handle would still be coming off in her hand, and she wouldn't have fixed it. Yet the minute I start on it she criticises how I am doing it.
Me and the missus would be sitting on the couch watching tv and she will start humming !
Drives me mad !
Also, when she sneezes, she makes the LOUDEST noise I have ever heard, like she wants the whole street to know she's just sneezed.
My OH does this, with obligatory, dramatic jazz hands.
He also shouts out while sneezing saying, 'AA AA AACHOOO.'
Shut up!
He makes little noises when eating, like mm mm mm, not mmmm, they are different.
He blinks really fast when having a go at me, like Hugh Grant, but that just makes me laugh, which makes him do more Hugh Grant, which makes me laugh.......
Initially thought I had wandered into a teeny tiny penis thread upon reading jra's posts, but luckily no.It is ok jra, most women are very tolerant and not at all size-ist, no need to cover the real reasons for no partner.
After reading this I think I have he perfect husband
Actually, the main thing for me is his inability to make a decision on the spot.
Me: What do you want to do today
Him: Don't know, let me think about it
Me half an hour later: Have you decided yet?
Him: I'm still thinking
Me an hour later: Ok how about we do 'this'
Him: Hmm not sure, maybe
Me another half hour later: Well it a bit bloody late now to do much
Him at end of day: I've been bored today, we wasted the day....................
Seriously, I have stopped trying to offer ideas as most of them get batted back
He drives to the furthest space in the carpark in spite of the hundreds of empty spaces, then I walk along talking to myself because he's gone back to move the car up an inch without telling me. If I lose my temper and make him park closer to where we are going he'll say he's left his phone on show, he disappears and re-parks, the car, its never where it was when I left it.
I love him, Id also love to hold a pillow over his face.
He is sleeping in -MY- bed, taking up all the blanket and the quilt. He's got his pillow under his head, he's got my pillow between his knees. I'm sitting on the floor, like a mug. All the while he just lays there...breathing.
Controlling the remote must be a man thing. My 20 year old son is the worst for this, he can flick constantly between sports programmes, especially the cricket which he watches for a few seconds, flicks back to something else then back to the cricket all within a minute. And this has been going on all through The Ashes series.:(
ETA it's hereditary. in the last 5 minutes Mr dolphin has watched a few minutes of a Border Control programme. a few minutes of OFAH, a few minutes of the Edinburgh Military tattoo and now he's watching Downton Abbey!
Hanging up the washing. Instead of actually shaking things out and actually hanging the stuff on the rail, it just comes out the basket and gets draped over the dryer.
So many times have I gone to take the 'dry' stuff off only to find a damp smelly sleeve that's still rolled up or a big damp patch on a top because it was all folded in on itself and not been able to dry properly.
He can't make a decision to save his life.
He huffs and puffs over minor things.
He leaves the toothpaste tube the wrong way round.
He snores.
He leaves the car in gear.
He'll take my car and speed on the motorway using up all 'my' petrol.
He has the memory of a goldfish (he'll watch repeats of QI or Top Gear ad infinitum and swear he's not seen them 12 times already).
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I did that once and he sulked about it for a week afterwards. I sometimes just want an easy, drama free life.
It's not even a bad hill to climb but it is during the middle of a heatwave. :mad:
The other week he sprained his leg. He wanted an air ambulance, at the very least. And the amount of hammy groaning and whining. You sprained your leg, you tit. That is all. I helpfully suggested it but he was writing in agony in a chair whining for me to ring NHS Direct cos he decided to do this on a weekend. Had to inconvenience a friend to drive him to hospital in the end. The verdict? Sprained his leg. Cue hobbling round on crutches and hamming it up for a week. (Constantly stopping us to check we are reacting sufficiently to his agony).
Five days earlier I had a bad fall (racing my 12 year old who cheated and tripped me up) and tore a muscle in my knee, apparently. The pain from it was so bad I wanted to vomit. Didn't even bother to go to the dr's. Still hurts a bit and there is an intriguing lump on my leg but I have managed not to stop the traffic with my theatrical whingings.
Drying the dishes and just leaving them there instead of putting them away.
Never being able to find his keys, nearly every single morning!
With regards to the 'man injury' another one that drives me insane is that I accidentally kicked him in the nose when he was biting my foot because it tickled and he sulked and made me feel guilty that I'd 'hurt' him for ages, yet when we were having a tickle fight, he squeezed the tops of my arms so tightly I had hideous bruises that I had to hide incase anyone saw and thought he was beating me up, yet that was my fault for 'bruising too easily' :rolleyes:
These must be built into men when they're born or something! Other half just leaves mess everywhere! I actually told him to wash the tuna drainage he'd left all over the sink after I had just scrubbed it, yet I hate 'nagging' because I feel that's all I do! A bit of respect...
And, when we're about to go out somewhere, 'where's my hat?' or 'where's my phone?'. The most regular one is 'where's my watch?' - I don't bloody know it's your watch ffs! :rolleyes::D
I keep a little checklist in my head of things I need to ask him if he has before we leave to go somewhere. If I don't we will be backwards and forwards to the house when he remembers something else.
Drives me mad !
Also, when she sneezes, she makes the LOUDEST noise I have ever heard, like she wants the whole street to know she's just sneezed.
I think my biggest annoyance at the minute is that he has obviously decided he is deaf or something because every time I get in the car, he MUST have his music playing at 50, then when I tell him to get off at the next junction he completely misses it and then he decides to turn the music down to 25 just so that he can spend the next THEEE HOURS complaining that I didn't tell him the douchebag
,and sitting Huffing and Tutting ,every couple of minutes :mad::mad: I'm sure he does it that often he's unaware he's doing it any more ,Well YOU ARE so just STOP it drives me mad ,i could cheerfully smash him round the chops everytime he does it and feel no remorse
Oh and his ability to not just shake our house ,but the whole bloody street to it's foundations with his snoring ,:eek:
I take all this "man injury" stuff with a pinch of salt. The reality is probably women don't like not being the centre of attention so ridicule men when they are hurt or ill.
Any nurse I have spoken to has said women are far worse to nurse than men - seems they whine and whinge much, much more. It doesn't add up tbh.
Anyway here in an attempt to even up the odds is my bit of bitching.
We had a door handle into the bathroom that needed tightening up. About every 20th time you used it , it would come off in your hand. It was annoying but not enough to make you get the tool box out and do it straight away so it went on my to do list.
Eventually I got my stuff out and started undoing the screws. I then selected some slightly larger ones and screwing them in. Cue Mrs C hovering over my shoulder, "Oh so your using crosshead screws? Cant you use slot screws aren't they better?"
$%$%^&*&*!!!!!!
The annoying thing is that if I hadn't done the job, twenty years from now that door handle would still be coming off in her hand, and she wouldn't have fixed it. Yet the minute I start on it she criticises how I am doing it.
My OH does this, with obligatory, dramatic jazz hands.
He also shouts out while sneezing saying, 'AA AA AACHOOO.'
Shut up!
He makes little noises when eating, like mm mm mm, not mmmm, they are different.
He blinks really fast when having a go at me, like Hugh Grant, but that just makes me laugh, which makes him do more Hugh Grant, which makes me laugh.......
Initially thought I had wandered into a teeny tiny penis thread upon reading jra's posts, but luckily no.It is ok jra, most women are very tolerant and not at all size-ist, no need to cover the real reasons for no partner.
Actually, the main thing for me is his inability to make a decision on the spot.
Me: What do you want to do today
Him: Don't know, let me think about it
Me half an hour later: Have you decided yet?
Him: I'm still thinking
Me an hour later: Ok how about we do 'this'
Him: Hmm not sure, maybe
Me another half hour later: Well it a bit bloody late now to do much
Him at end of day: I've been bored today, we wasted the day....................
Seriously, I have stopped trying to offer ideas as most of them get batted back
He drives to the furthest space in the carpark in spite of the hundreds of empty spaces, then I walk along talking to myself because he's gone back to move the car up an inch without telling me. If I lose my temper and make him park closer to where we are going he'll say he's left his phone on show, he disappears and re-parks, the car, its never where it was when I left it.
He does it every single trip, I could scream.
Oh my OH does this too! You can hear him a mile away, it drives me bonkers.
Now shutting them .... that's a different matter. :mad:
ETA it's hereditary. in the last 5 minutes Mr dolphin has watched a few minutes of a Border Control programme. a few minutes of OFAH, a few minutes of the Edinburgh Military tattoo and now he's watching Downton Abbey!
So many times have I gone to take the 'dry' stuff off only to find a damp smelly sleeve that's still rolled up or a big damp patch on a top because it was all folded in on itself and not been able to dry properly.
Grrrr!
He huffs and puffs over minor things.
He leaves the toothpaste tube the wrong way round.
He snores.
He leaves the car in gear.
He'll take my car and speed on the motorway using up all 'my' petrol.
He has the memory of a goldfish (he'll watch repeats of QI or Top Gear ad infinitum and swear he's not seen them 12 times already).
He has his plus points though.
I tell him off for yawning loudly, but I have given up on the remote control issue and just watch what I want when no-one else is around.