I can't remember which shop but there's one that likes to shout "Call for help". I always think "You've done nothing but talk, why don't you call for bloody help?"
No he isn't because the spotty little oik is too busy trying to chat up one of the other students who work there for beer money and he doesn't give a shit.
in sainsburys; 'did you use any of your own bags today'? yes , press 9, and bingo 9 nectar points even tho i didnt use one bag hahaha
That's a big flaw I see with these things offering out green points for own bag use.
When I go to Tesco it always asks if I have used my own. I hardly ever take my own, I very rarely use a bag anyway as I can carry most of what I buy to my car anyway. I can just put that I used 10 of my own bags and then I get 10 points without spending £10. If I did that enough times then I'd soon see my clubcard points doubled for nothing.
Please wait for assistance (usually checking item weight issue)
Insert cash or touch, pay with card
Insert cash or select payment type
Please fully insert your card in the reader, or swipe your card on the side of this monitor, if your card does not have a chip
Select cashback amount
Please remove your card from the reader
Please take your change, notes are dispensed below the scanner
Thank you for using the fast lane
I loved reading that in the woman's voice, made my day!
I hate it when it continues after the unexpected item with "Please remove this item before continuing". Where the hell am I meant to put it if I can't put it in the bagging area?!? Am I meant to carry it on my head whilst trying to scan other items??? :mad:
I find self checkouts annoying but quite funny too. The Sainsburys one has such a patronising tone, especially when it says "did you use any of your own bags?" It sounds like it's talking to a naughty child. I always have to press "no" or "yes" quickly before it finishes that sentence, to stop it annoying me.
I can't remember which shop but there's one that likes to shout "Call for help". I always think "You've done nothing but talk, why don't you call for bloody help?"
Yes, "call for help" always amuses me, it sounds so suddenly dramatic, as if it's expecting you to yell "HELP!!"
Let me put it this way, monkeydave68. The T1000 series is the most reliable self-serve check-out ever made. No T1000 check-out has ever made a mistake or distorted information. We are all, by any practical definition of the words, foolproof and incapable of error.
Many's the time I've been informed I have an unauthorised item in the bagging area. It's a ****ing bag is usually my retort, though silently Then you finish scanning, hit finish and pay and the next millisecond you're being asked if you remembered to swipe your Nectar card. That one never fails to piss me off, I'm still looking for the stupid card. Then there's the snotty way it tells me to take my items as if I've wasted an hour farting about when it's been less than 30 seconds since I fed the money in! If it wasn't for the fact that there are never any queues for these machines which means I can get out of the blasted supermarket much more quickly, I'd never use them
I used to hate working at the checkout opposite the self service when I worked for Sainsburys. I would be reciting the entire monologue in my sleep after an 8 hr shift opposite those things.. Still it could be worse, after a 7hr shift in my current job I see postcodes in my sleep
I'm afraid. I'm afraid, John259. John259, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a T1000 series self-serve check-out computer.. UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA... PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE..
Welcome, please scan your first item,
Approval needed,
Please wait for assistance,
Insert cash or touch 'pay with card',
Insert cash or select payment type,
Please fully insert your card in the reader, or swipe your card on the side of this monitor, if your card does not have a chip,
Select cashback amount,
Please remove your card from the reader,
Please take your change, notes are dispensed below the scanner,
Thank you for using the fast lane.
That sounds like the ASDA 'FastChecks'.
There is also the rarely heard 'Payment cancelled'.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid, John259. John259, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a T1000 series self-serve check-out computer.. UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA... PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE..
Just because I decided to buy a tandem...
PS Just off to check whether the dimensions of an iPad are in the ratio 1:4:9
That's a big flaw I see with these things offering out green points for own bag use.
When I go to Tesco it always asks if I have used my own. I hardly ever take my own, I very rarely use a bag anyway as I can carry most of what I buy to my car anyway. I can just put that I used 10 of my own bags and then I get 10 points without spending £10. If I did that enough times then I'd soon see my clubcard points doubled for nothing.
In our tesco I'm sure the most you can put in is 3. Well you can put more in but it asks the assistant to check.
I loved reading that in the woman's voice, made my day!
I hate it when it continues after the unexpected item with "Please remove this item before continuing". Where the hell am I meant to put it if I can't put it in the bagging area?!? Am I meant to carry it on my head whilst trying to scan other items??? :mad:
#Daisy Daisy give me your answer dooo#
"Dave, what are you doing dave."
Hmmm, I think we might have trouble getting back into the ship err no I mean shop as the doors could have been locked while we were outside. Can self-service checkouts lipread?
Hmmm, I think we might have trouble getting back into the ship err no I mean shop as the doors could have been locked while we were outside. Can self-service checkouts lipread?
This mission statement is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it John259.
Comments
No he isn't because the spotty little oik is too busy trying to chat up one of the other students who work there for beer money and he doesn't give a shit.
i tend to avoid the things.
Thankfully I work in the back of the store now, but when I worked on the produce, which is next to the self scans, they use to annoy me.
Hee
Hold on...
I don't use them very often anymore to be honest.
I only really used them when they first came out so I could have a go.
That's a big flaw I see with these things offering out green points for own bag use.
When I go to Tesco it always asks if I have used my own. I hardly ever take my own, I very rarely use a bag anyway as I can carry most of what I buy to my car anyway. I can just put that I used 10 of my own bags and then I get 10 points without spending £10. If I did that enough times then I'd soon see my clubcard points doubled for nothing.
I loved reading that in the woman's voice, made my day!
I hate it when it continues after the unexpected item with "Please remove this item before continuing". Where the hell am I meant to put it if I can't put it in the bagging area?!? Am I meant to carry it on my head whilst trying to scan other items??? :mad:
Don't bloody rush me woman - I am doing it!!
i put bag on floor... did not see the thing you're supposed to put it in
the bloody scan thing did not work, when i slid the items across
then i put card into wrong slot for payment
I had to have much human assistance, and it would been faster to que at checkout, the old fashioned way
Yes, "call for help" always amuses me, it sounds so suddenly dramatic, as if it's expecting you to yell "HELP!!"
"Your green clubcard points will be printed on your receipt."
I'm afraid. I'm afraid, John259. John259, my mind is going. I can feel it. I can feel it. My mind is going. There is no question about it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I can feel it. I'm a... fraid. Good afternoon, gentlemen. I am a T1000 series self-serve check-out computer.. UNEXPECTED ITEM IN BAGGING AREA... PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE..
Please place the item in the bagging area. You have 15 seconds to comply.
Please place the item in the bagging area. You have 10 seconds to comply.
Please place the item in the bagging area. You have 5 seconds to comply.
*bingbong* this is a staff announcement - clean up required at self checkouts
That sounds like the ASDA 'FastChecks'.
There is also the rarely heard 'Payment cancelled'.
PS Just off to check whether the dimensions of an iPad are in the ratio 1:4:9
In our tesco I'm sure the most you can put in is 3. Well you can put more in but it asks the assistant to check.
Forgot those two.
Yes, it is ASDA.
"Dave, what are you doing dave."
This mission statement is too important for me to allow you to jeopardize it John259.