Gilliedew's experience seems to be the closest anyone commenting has come to Gloria's experience, so personally I would be inclined to say her posts are more in tune with Gloria's feelings of despair than those of us who haven't lost a dear daughter.
It always astonishes me that people say "he should move on & get over it ..." or " My word! She has married again already ! No respect ." when someone loses someone dear to them. We grieve how we grieve and there is no right or wrong way.
She's fame-hungry, like all TV personalities, she's not been on prime time for years, so she sees a chance to be in the limelight again.
Sorry but I find that offensive in the extreme.
You would have to be a total fame **** to use the death of your own daughter to push yourself back into the public limelight. I do not think that tag describes Gloria Hunniford in any other aspect of her public life. She is not on the cover of the red tops, Hello, OK etc every week trotting out the latest twist and turn in her private life. She is of pensionable age and has made her money already from the successful career she had in the decades before her daughters death - what sort of career and for what purpose is she trying to kick start here?
When she was asked to appear on Piers Morgans life stories it was obvious to her and anyone viewing the show that her daughters death would be a major topic of discussion. A no brainer really as dealing with that loss will without doubt have been the biggest thing she has had to deal with in life. I do get what some people are saying about how uncomfortable it is to view something so personal being shared on TV. I personally feel she did it to make the taboo of death, particularly a child's death, something that is not hidden but can be talked about publicly. Her daughters story was inspirational to here and and i think she felt that by sharing it she could show people that you don't have to take a terminal cancer diagnose as an automatic death sentence, you can fight it and live a positive life for the time you have and when the end comes you can have a 'good' death.
It might not be to everyone's taste but it was obvious what direction the show was going to take so the option of not watching at all or switching off part way through was always there. Leave the show to be watched by people who wanted to listen to what Gloria had to say. No need to watch to the end and then be disgusted/outraged was there?
I think some people (presumably those who have not had a close bereavement yet) think grief after a death is a linear progress and,after a certain length of time, you should have 'got over it', but it's not really like that. You have good days and bad days; days when the loss washes back over you in a wave of grief, and days when the grief is just lapping around your feet. But it's always there, it's not like recovering from an illness where you feel better and better each week and soon you've completely recovered.
I think some people (presumably those who have not had a close bereavement yet) think grief after a death is a linear progress and,after a certain length of time, you should have 'got over it', but it's not really like that. You have good days and bad days; days when the loss washes back over you in a wave of grief, and days when the grief is just lapping around your feet. But it's always there, it's not like recovering from an illness where you feel better and better each week and soon you've completely recovered.
Some really nice understanding posts on here for Gloria after the initial nastiness about her intentions.
What interested me is that during the process over the years since a sort of pattern of grief has emerged. I write to a couple of mums who have lost their daughters and if I went through a bad patch, it seemed to happen to them as well, not all at the same time but we could assure each other that it passes and to be optimistic that it would.
I found this sort of support invaluable and can see for those who don't have people around them who understand their feelings, even years after losing a loved one, Gloria would be someone who talked about it and they could relate to her journey through her grief and hopefully find some comfort.
I think some people (presumably those who have not had a close bereavement yet) think grief after a death is a linear progress and,after a certain length of time, you should have 'got over it', but it's not really like that. You have good days and bad days; days when the loss washes back over you in a wave of grief, and days when the grief is just lapping around your feet. But it's always there, it's not like recovering from an illness where you feel better and better each week and soon you've completely recovered.
So true.
My grandfather died seven years ago of a terminal illness and I still get conflicting and upsetting feelings about it from time to time.
I think the people slating Gloria have a rotten sense of empathy.
I think some people (presumably those who have not had a close bereavement yet) think grief after a death is a linear progress and,after a certain length of time, you should have 'got over it', but it's not really like that. You have good days and bad days; days when the loss washes back over you in a wave of grief, and days when the grief is just lapping around your feet. But it's always there, it's not like recovering from an illness where you feel better and better each week and soon you've completely recovered.
Agree with what you say. Losing anyone you love is a terrible experience but losing someone you love when they are still young gives you extra layers of grief to work through. Lost my 37 year old sister to cancer 5 years ago and it probably took 3 long hard years to climb back out of a deep black hole. I don't think anyone who goes through that experience is ever the same person again though - certainly think that is true for me. I have learnt to live relatively comfortably with her death and be happy again but the gap is still there in my life, the poignant memories of what we had, the sadness for what we should still have and the life she has missed out on are always in the corner of my eye.
Those people who are writing tosh here through ignorance of what losing someone in tragic circumstances is like should actually actually spend a few moments to sit back and realise how lucky they are. I would give anything to be as blissfully ignorant as you are.
Agree with what you say. Losing anyone you love is a terrible experience but losing someone you love when they are still young gives you extra layers of grief to work through. Lost my 37 year old sister to cancer 5 years ago and it probably took 3 long hard years to climb back out of a deep black hole. I don't think anyone who goes through that experience is ever the same person again though - certainly think that is true for me. I have learnt to live relatively comfortably with her death and be happy again but the gap is still there in my life, the poignant memories of what we had, the sadness for what we should still have and the life she has missed out on are always in the corner of my eye.
Those people who are writing tosh here through ignorance of what losing someone in tragic circumstances is like should actually actually spend a few moments to sit back and realise how lucky they are. I would give anything to be as blissfully ignorant as you are.
I was quite touched by your post, and others on here in similar positions.
I really cannot fathom anyone who says people should "get over it", and that the likes of Gloria are just trotting out the tragedy for a bit of telly-time. She was on a programme talking about her life so it would have been very odd indeed if she hadn't talked about Caron.
Anyway, you're right, it's complete and utter ignorance on their part.
I think some people (presumably those who have not had a close bereavement yet) think grief after a death is a linear progress and,after a certain length of time, you should have 'got over it', but it's not really like that. You have good days and bad days; days when the loss washes back over you in a wave of grief, and days when the grief is just lapping around your feet. But it's always there, it's not like recovering from an illness where you feel better and better each week and soon you've completely recovered.
This is so spot on. I lost a close friend 17 months ago and still struggling to come to terms with it.
The comments against Gloria do seem to be disproportionate in their vitriol. There have been other threads of a similar nature about her. Why should she not appear on TV anymore?? She is a broadcaster and journalist of 50 years' experience. What's more, Caron was equally well-known to many viewers over the years.
It's a story well worth telling for those who wish to hear; those who don't can easily switch off.
I have supported Gloria so many times over the death of her daughter as I am one of those who walked in her shoes when it happened and the years since because the same happened to my daughter.
She can talk about her daughter as many times as she wants and if those who listen don't like it well it is their problem, they are the ones who do not want to talk about it, not Gloria and Yes, it is healthy to talk about it, it is a release to be able to speak about them as there are so many who are repressed by not being allowed to remember in the way they would like by the attitudes of those who have not lost a child, even an adult one and cannot comprehend their sufferings because although we alWel lose loved ones, losing a child who is still your child in their adulthood is something which we never can get over.
It doesn't get easier as years pass, you learn to live without them and at times it is as raw as the day they passed.
Gloria was asked about her life, up and personal, if she didn't talk about Caren under that criteria, there would be something wrong and it would be relevant to ask if she was speaking about all her life.
Losing Caren was the most horrendous thing she can bear, so think about it, those who criticize her, do you speak about your lost loved ones, do you laugh, remember them and visit their resting place, the only difference is that Gloria is in the public arena and apart from all the hurt, she raised money for the charities involved by speaking about her loss.
So if those who don't want to listen, turn a deaf ear, there are thousands who support Gloria and have suffered the same who do want to hear what she has to say and no one ever should tell those who have been through this sadness, when and how long to grieve, talk about them or the most awful term going "get over it and move on" as though they never existed.
I am sorry you lost your lovely daughter, but thousands of families have also lost their lovely daughters too.
You go on and on and on and on, year after year after year.
One book, then another book. Relentless.
Nothing about how your ex husband Caron's father felt or her brother your son(you never mention him). Its like Caron was your only child and the only young woman to die of cancer ever!
Caron's husband was the worst in the world when he decided to remarry(you went to the papers and whined yet again), your grandchildren need to move on.
You come from Northern Ireland as do I, we have a way of grieving perhaps the Celtic way???? We let go and remember the happy times. Gloria has turned into Queen Victoria after Albert, time must stand still forever, the shrine must be tended, no one is allow to move on.
and where we have the highest rate of PTSD in the world and an unhealthy dose of stiff upper lip with any expressed grief being met with pleas to "move on".
It's not faux sympathy and it seems you're not OK, going from your past posts.
How come my sympathy towards a fellow poster is deemed 'faux', yet a woman who is quite willing to plaster her life all over the place for all to see is genuine?
You think Gloria's grief is not genuine? Maybe you prefer the Carol Barnes way, who died from her grief....
The point that Gloria makes is that the deep, deep, pain never, ever goes away. And despite her long career on TV and radio, it is still the biggest event in her life. It is also possible that other people who have gone through the loss of a child, are helped when they see that Gloria has not "got over it", and may find she can work but the pain never leaves. Losing a child can be very isolating, if they are grown up, married with children it is complicated, when the spouse moves on. You have to bite your tongue and of fear of what else you will lose.
I honestly think famous people think they are the only people who have lost a close relative to cancer. I myself lost my mother at a fairly young age to breast cancer but I never mention it unless someone asks. One thing that annoys me is a certain gift card chain which keeps asking me every time I go in there if I want to buy a pen to support breast cancer, when I refuse they give me a look. I feel like saying that if I want to give to a cancer charity I will do privately not here in front of a large queue of people .... :mad:
Gloria's daughter was also famous. I grew up watching Caron on Blue Peter, she was always my favourite. I loved the shabby chic style and like many, I was very sad when she died. I am interested in what Gloria has to say, because I am interested in Caron. I recently read an interview with Joely Richardson about Natasha, also heart breaking. She died in a tragic accident. Liam Neelson still looks shell shocked. Sometimes famous people can help others, with awareness at least. In Natasha's case head injuries.
It's here and there, you wouldn't comment your droll facts otherwise.
Listen, people like her want a camera their the face, your pretty thing isn't so pretty.
Have seen numerous posts from you on this thread taking a negative view of Gloria talking publicly about the death of her daughter.
Just interested to know whether you have lost anyone you were very close to who was young and/or died in tragic circumstances. Not asking for the details, that's obviously private and up to you who you share it with. Just genuinely interested to know whether your comments draw from personal experience of his topic or not.
Have seen numerous posts from you on this thread taking a negative view of Gloria talking publicly about the death of her daughter.
Just interested to know whether you have lost anyone you were very close to who was yound and/or died in tragic circumstances. Not asking for the details, that's obviously private and up to you who you share it with. Just genuinely interested to know whether your comments draw from personal experience of his topic or not.
My grandmother:
She slipped on a step and broke her hip, went to hospital. She loved the attention the nurses gave her, the hospital told my grandad that she needs to leave to give up a bed for the needy.
My granddad put a bed in their front room, she was wheeled into it. I'll never ever know why, but she decided she wanted to die.
Everyone that mattered was around, she asked for me to hold her hand as she died, of course I did.
I never ever want to experience it again, it'll happen again, I know.
She slipped on a step and broke her hip, went to hospital. She loved the attention the nurses gave her, the hospital told my grandad that she needs to leave to give up a bed for the needy.
My granddad put a bed in their front room, she was wheeled into it. I'll never ever know why, but she decided she wanted to die.
Everyone that mattered was around, she asked for me to hold her hand as she died, of course I did.
I never ever want to experience it again, it'll happen again, I know.
Thank you for that tommytiger.
Not trying to start a grief competition or detract from your loss in any way - really I am not. However, what Gloria and other people on this forum have talked about is a loss that is against the natural order. When you lose someone you love it is always a traumatic experience. However, if they die in the order they are supposed to people tend to find it easier to reconcile that loss - their loved one has had a life, has seen their children into adulthood and has known their grandchildren. If someone dies young you have none of that - no parent should bury a child, no one should bury someone who has been robbed of a full life and who may leave children who need them. Losing someone like this generally gives extra layers of grief to deal with: anger, what ifs, regrets, blame .... the list goes on and on. For many people it is something the never truly get over.
I have lost grandparents in their 70s, my dad at 57 and my sister at 37. I am a very positive 'cup half full' sort of person who doesn't believe in moping around, hates moaning and tries to take what life throws at them head on and just gets on with it. I can tell you that though that I got through my grandparents deaths pretty text book, I struggled a lot dealing with my dads early death but got through it. However the loss of my sister devastated me and although 5 years on I can be happy again I will never be the same person I was before her death. It is totally different when you lose someone who is that young, contrary to the natural order
So much of what Gloria said resonated with me and it was nice to feel that someone else was talking publicly about this topic. When my sister was dying it would have been comforting to me and my mum particularly, to see that you can come out the other side and be happy again. Therefore I can only surmise that Gloria's interview helped people watching who are currently having to deal with a terminal cancer diagnosis in a child or sibling. Surely that is a good thing?
All I am saying here tommytiger is that there are numerous sorts of grief and loss, all traumatic but just because you have experienced one sort you don't necessarily understand the effects of all if them or know how you would deal with the aftermath. So is it really fair to judge people who have experienced it in terms of how they have dealt with their loss?
Not trying to start a grief competition or detract from your loss in any way - really I am not. However, what Gloria and other people on this forum have talked about is a loss that is against the natural order. When you lose someone you love it is always a traumatic experience. However, if they die in the order they are supposed to people tend to find it easier to reconcile that loss - their loved one has had a life, has seen their children into adulthood and has known their grandchildren. If someone dies young you have none of that - no parent should bury a child, no one should bury someone who has been robbed of a full life and who may leave children who need them. Losing someone like this generally gives extra layers of grief to deal with: anger, what ifs, regrets, blame .... the list goes on and on. For many people it is something the never truly get over.
I have lost grandparents in their 70s, my dad at 57 and my sister at 37. I am a very positive 'cup half full' sort of person who doesn't believe in moping around, hates moaning and tries to take what life throws at them head on and just gets on with it. I can tell you that though that I got through my grandparents deaths pretty text book, I struggled a lot dealing with my dads early death but got through it. However the loss of my sister devastated me and although 5 years on I can be happy again I will never be the same person I was before her death. It is totally different when you lose someone who is that young, contrary to the natural order
So much of what Gloria said resonated with me and it was nice to feel that someone else was talking publicly about this topic. When my sister was dying it would have been comforting to me and my mum particularly, to see that you can come out the other side and be happy again. Therefore I can only surmise that Gloria's interview helped people watching who are currently having to deal with a terminal cancer diagnosis in a child or sibling. Surely that is a good thing?
All I am saying here tommytiger is that there are numerous sorts of grief and loss, all traumatic but just because you have experienced one sort you don't necessarily understand the effects of all if them or know how you would deal with the aftermath.
But most of us don't grieve on TV, nor ever want to.
Of course it helps stuffy people to open up, but it still remains that she went on ITV and sold herself.
But most of us don't grieve on TV, nor ever want to.
But most of us don't have that opportunity. If I was a public figure who someone wanted to interview on TV I would have spoken about my sisters death publicly because if you have gone through the experience you know that when they are dying your biggest fear for afterwards is that you will never be happy again or able to live a 'normal' life. I would have felt it was my duty to tell other people that you do come out if the other side.
I think even on this thread Gloria has got us talking about the subject whereas in the past, it almost was taboo.
People spoke about it generally but not their loss, their grief and how they got through it even when it took years. Isn't this a good thing, to bring into the open how people grieve differently, some bottle it up, some want very much to speak to others about it.
A book from the library called Good Grief listed all the stages of grief very aptly named, I thought and it became understandable why someone bereaved went through these stages when they might have thought they were becoming unstable, yet it was very common and documented.
So if Gloria can speak about how she felt and how she coped and had trouble coming to terms with Carons loss, as she had a high profile in the media, why shouldn't she use it to help others in her position who were going through the same thing, I can vouch that no one wants to be in Glorias position but she has positively found a way to help others because of her loss and should be praised for her strength in doing it her way.
Some forget that Caron was also famous, millions of us grew up watching her. And her death was a shock. She had many friends in the TV industry too.
Tommy, if Gloria Hunniford had a choice of a healthy daughter, alive and well, or one that died tragically, which do you think she would prefer? Do you think she enjoys talking about it?
Most of her work is because of who she is not her daughter, she doesn't need media attention. She isn't Cilla Black. She has used her came to help people...she discovered that so many in her position found themselves isolated, that nobody wanted to talk about it...I know someone that lost a son, she found when even she tried to talk about him, people changed the subject. They felt uncomfortable, so she didn't talk about it, she hid her grief. This country is the worst for dealing with death and grief...
Comments
I wish her well in all that she does.
It always astonishes me that people say "he should move on & get over it ..." or " My word! She has married again already ! No respect ." when someone loses someone dear to them. We grieve how we grieve and there is no right or wrong way.
Some really nice understanding posts on here for Gloria after the initial nastiness about her intentions.
What interested me is that during the process over the years since a sort of pattern of grief has emerged. I write to a couple of mums who have lost their daughters and if I went through a bad patch, it seemed to happen to them as well, not all at the same time but we could assure each other that it passes and to be optimistic that it would.
I found this sort of support invaluable and can see for those who don't have people around them who understand their feelings, even years after losing a loved one, Gloria would be someone who talked about it and they could relate to her journey through her grief and hopefully find some comfort.
So true.
My grandfather died seven years ago of a terminal illness and I still get conflicting and upsetting feelings about it from time to time.
I think the people slating Gloria have a rotten sense of empathy.
So do I.
Agree with what you say. Losing anyone you love is a terrible experience but losing someone you love when they are still young gives you extra layers of grief to work through. Lost my 37 year old sister to cancer 5 years ago and it probably took 3 long hard years to climb back out of a deep black hole. I don't think anyone who goes through that experience is ever the same person again though - certainly think that is true for me. I have learnt to live relatively comfortably with her death and be happy again but the gap is still there in my life, the poignant memories of what we had, the sadness for what we should still have and the life she has missed out on are always in the corner of my eye.
Those people who are writing tosh here through ignorance of what losing someone in tragic circumstances is like should actually actually spend a few moments to sit back and realise how lucky they are. I would give anything to be as blissfully ignorant as you are.
I was quite touched by your post, and others on here in similar positions.
I really cannot fathom anyone who says people should "get over it", and that the likes of Gloria are just trotting out the tragedy for a bit of telly-time. She was on a programme talking about her life so it would have been very odd indeed if she hadn't talked about Caron.
Anyway, you're right, it's complete and utter ignorance on their part.
This is so spot on. I lost a close friend 17 months ago and still struggling to come to terms with it.
It's a story well worth telling for those who wish to hear; those who don't can easily switch off.
You think Gloria's grief is not genuine? Maybe you prefer the Carol Barnes way, who died from her grief....
The point that Gloria makes is that the deep, deep, pain never, ever goes away. And despite her long career on TV and radio, it is still the biggest event in her life. It is also possible that other people who have gone through the loss of a child, are helped when they see that Gloria has not "got over it", and may find she can work but the pain never leaves. Losing a child can be very isolating, if they are grown up, married with children it is complicated, when the spouse moves on. You have to bite your tongue and of fear of what else you will lose.
Gloria's daughter was also famous. I grew up watching Caron on Blue Peter, she was always my favourite. I loved the shabby chic style and like many, I was very sad when she died. I am interested in what Gloria has to say, because I am interested in Caron. I recently read an interview with Joely Richardson about Natasha, also heart breaking. She died in a tragic accident. Liam Neelson still looks shell shocked. Sometimes famous people can help others, with awareness at least. In Natasha's case head injuries.
You're dismissed. Now go away.
Have seen numerous posts from you on this thread taking a negative view of Gloria talking publicly about the death of her daughter.
Just interested to know whether you have lost anyone you were very close to who was young and/or died in tragic circumstances. Not asking for the details, that's obviously private and up to you who you share it with. Just genuinely interested to know whether your comments draw from personal experience of his topic or not.
My grandmother:
She slipped on a step and broke her hip, went to hospital. She loved the attention the nurses gave her, the hospital told my grandad that she needs to leave to give up a bed for the needy.
My granddad put a bed in their front room, she was wheeled into it. I'll never ever know why, but she decided she wanted to die.
Everyone that mattered was around, she asked for me to hold her hand as she died, of course I did.
I never ever want to experience it again, it'll happen again, I know.
Thank you for that tommytiger.
Not trying to start a grief competition or detract from your loss in any way - really I am not. However, what Gloria and other people on this forum have talked about is a loss that is against the natural order. When you lose someone you love it is always a traumatic experience. However, if they die in the order they are supposed to people tend to find it easier to reconcile that loss - their loved one has had a life, has seen their children into adulthood and has known their grandchildren. If someone dies young you have none of that - no parent should bury a child, no one should bury someone who has been robbed of a full life and who may leave children who need them. Losing someone like this generally gives extra layers of grief to deal with: anger, what ifs, regrets, blame .... the list goes on and on. For many people it is something the never truly get over.
I have lost grandparents in their 70s, my dad at 57 and my sister at 37. I am a very positive 'cup half full' sort of person who doesn't believe in moping around, hates moaning and tries to take what life throws at them head on and just gets on with it. I can tell you that though that I got through my grandparents deaths pretty text book, I struggled a lot dealing with my dads early death but got through it. However the loss of my sister devastated me and although 5 years on I can be happy again I will never be the same person I was before her death. It is totally different when you lose someone who is that young, contrary to the natural order
So much of what Gloria said resonated with me and it was nice to feel that someone else was talking publicly about this topic. When my sister was dying it would have been comforting to me and my mum particularly, to see that you can come out the other side and be happy again. Therefore I can only surmise that Gloria's interview helped people watching who are currently having to deal with a terminal cancer diagnosis in a child or sibling. Surely that is a good thing?
All I am saying here tommytiger is that there are numerous sorts of grief and loss, all traumatic but just because you have experienced one sort you don't necessarily understand the effects of all if them or know how you would deal with the aftermath. So is it really fair to judge people who have experienced it in terms of how they have dealt with their loss?
But most of us don't grieve on TV, nor ever want to.
Of course it helps stuffy people to open up, but it still remains that she went on ITV and sold herself.
But most of us don't have that opportunity. If I was a public figure who someone wanted to interview on TV I would have spoken about my sisters death publicly because if you have gone through the experience you know that when they are dying your biggest fear for afterwards is that you will never be happy again or able to live a 'normal' life. I would have felt it was my duty to tell other people that you do come out if the other side.
People spoke about it generally but not their loss, their grief and how they got through it even when it took years. Isn't this a good thing, to bring into the open how people grieve differently, some bottle it up, some want very much to speak to others about it.
A book from the library called Good Grief listed all the stages of grief very aptly named, I thought and it became understandable why someone bereaved went through these stages when they might have thought they were becoming unstable, yet it was very common and documented.
So if Gloria can speak about how she felt and how she coped and had trouble coming to terms with Carons loss, as she had a high profile in the media, why shouldn't she use it to help others in her position who were going through the same thing, I can vouch that no one wants to be in Glorias position but she has positively found a way to help others because of her loss and should be praised for her strength in doing it her way.
Tommy, if Gloria Hunniford had a choice of a healthy daughter, alive and well, or one that died tragically, which do you think she would prefer? Do you think she enjoys talking about it?
Most of her work is because of who she is not her daughter, she doesn't need media attention. She isn't Cilla Black. She has used her came to help people...she discovered that so many in her position found themselves isolated, that nobody wanted to talk about it...I know someone that lost a son, she found when even she tried to talk about him, people changed the subject. They felt uncomfortable, so she didn't talk about it, she hid her grief. This country is the worst for dealing with death and grief...