If you haven't done so already, make an appointment and get checked out.
A woman worth keeping will make you wait to have sex.
No it is not the 19th century and we have a nice little disease called AIDS. You did not show my full quote. If you think it is ok to have sex with people you do not know and not use a condom then go ahead.
I don't disagree with that point you were making about Aids. I didn't paraphrase you on that.
EDIT - I did in part. That was my mistake. Sorry!
I do think OP is aware that he should have used a condom without you screaming at him about it.
Just as this woman should also have insisted upon his using a condom.
I don't disagree with that point you were making about Aids. I didn't paraphrase you on that.
EDIT - I did in part. That was my mistake. Sorry!
I do think OP is aware that he should have used a condom without you screaming at him about it.
Just as this woman should also have insisted upon his using a condom.
I wasn't screaming at him. I was giving him a flip round the head whilst telling him to get checked out.
we didn't use protection. This is the reason i asked her, because i was stressing and paranoid that i may have caught an infection.
One of the things that comes out of this is that you were an insensitive prick by texting a question to her like that and she has every right to be upset and refuse to talk to you. That sort of question should only be asked face to face (or through solicitors).
In future, remember that some texting devices have an interactive real time audio two way communication capability, so phone her and have a chat rather than relying on bloody impersonal text messages.
One of the things that comes out of this is that you were an insensitive prick by texting a question to her like that and she has every right to be upset and refuse to talk to you. That sort of question should only be asked face to face (or through solicitors).
In future, remember that some texting devices have an interactive real time audio two way communication capability, so phone her and have a chat rather than relying on bloody impersonal text messages.
She was being even more of an insensitive prick (using your terms here!) by blanking OP, after he had already told her he really liked her, etc
I think you should just forget about her tbh ( I know easier said than done) get a health check & fingers crossed shes not pregnant., she might have been on the pill?
Hopefully your meet someone who wants more than one thing
Remember that we only have one side of the story. It would be interesting to hear hers.
everything i said about her is true on my part. the text regarding std's is the only thing she may have taken a lot of offence to and decided she wants to ignore me because of it. i am not sure i deserve to be totally blanked because of it, though
Would he be able to cope bringing up a child on his own? Afterall she doesn't seem bothered, just shagged him and left. Men really do have it hard
she had 3 daughters already. i think they were all in their early teens or thereabouts. after having 3 girls, why would she want another child at the age of 43? i don't know how some women's minds work, but i would have thought she wouldn't want any more. could she have wanted another child for benefits? she spoke of an ex, but i don't know if that was her husband or just a boyfriend, or the father of her children.
i just have this niggling feeling of wanting to message her on the dating app/site i met her on. it was called "badoo" i don't know if you have heard of it? it isn't a great app, but it's decent for using on a smartphone and works well enough.
i just want to say to her that i would really like to see her sometime and maybe grab or drink to talk about things, and apologise if she is upset about the comments i made regarding std's. i don't know if she would even reply, but i have a big urge to message her and find out. i mean she's not replied to my texts and i know she's been online on the dating app, so that's the only other option. the problem is i don't want to seem like i'm desperate, but i want to get in touch. maybe she does want to talk to me as well, but is waiting for me to make the first move, as she seemed to before when we were speaking. i think she is quite shy and doesn't speak a lot or know what to say unless i carry the conversation. that is how she came across.
Mikey, if you really want to contact her via the app, then do so. However, bear in mind that she is not responding to your texts so there is no reason why she would respond to a further approach.
The std comment was insensitive, and I am sure with hindsight you would've handled things differently, but you are where you are.
Message her, apologise, say you would like to to meet etc.
But be prepared for no response, and if that is the case then you need to stop obsessing, let it go and move on. It won't be easy but it will be a lot easier than what you are currently putting yourself through.
I know it's tough but you need to stop contacting her and move on. She's clearly not interested and you are just going to cause yourself further heart break if you keep this up. Some people just can't be bothered with the whole "it's not you it's me" palaver and decide to break off all contact (I've done it before, I'm not proud of it). If she doesn't think the relationship is going anywhere then no amount of pestering is going to change her mind.
Also stop looking at her profile! Trust me if she wanted to contact you she would have.
Maybe take a break from the dating app, spend the next month just being yourself and doing the things you enjoy. Then go back to it fresh. Or maybe take a break and then try a different site/app.
she had 3 daughters already. i think they were all in their early teens or thereabouts. after having 3 girls, why would she want another child at the age of 43? i don't know how some women's minds work, but i would have thought she wouldn't want any more. could she have wanted another child for benefits? she spoke of an ex, but i don't know if that was her husband or just a boyfriend, or the father of her children.
i just have this niggling feeling of wanting to message her on the dating app/site i met her on. it was called "badoo" i don't know if you have heard of it? it isn't a great app, but it's decent for using on a smartphone and works well enough.
i just want to say to her that i would really like to see her sometime and maybe grab or drink to talk about things, and apologise if she is upset about the comments i made regarding std's. i don't know if she would even reply, but i have a big urge to message her and find out. i mean she's not replied to my texts and i know she's been online on the dating app, so that's the only other option. the problem is i don't want to seem like i'm desperate, but i want to get in touch. maybe she does want to talk to me as well, but is waiting for me to make the first move, as she seemed to before when we were speaking. i think she is quite shy and doesn't speak a lot or know what to say unless i carry the conversation. that is how she came across.
My message you quoted was me being silly.
I think that the lady you met - as she was older than you - was probably looking for a fun time, she probably was not looking for a relationship.
I think that you should look on this as life experience, get yourself checked out STD wise if you have not done so already and then start meeting new people. I have used Oasis dating before as there are a lot of people on there from where I live, you could also try this it is free. But please start talking to new people in real life also both male and female and make friends and see what happens.
As I said before there is nothing wrong with one night stands as long as you are being safe and you both understand that it is casual and not going to lead elsewhere. Communication between people is important and hopefully as you get older and more confident you will be able to limit the upset that you are feeling now.
I found the "Would like to meet" tv shows very good, here's a link to one on you tube.
It sounds sad, but i miss talking to her to be honest.
Next time you meet a girl, talk to her about the important things such as what she wants out of your relationship. Maybe she just wanted sex, if so, next time wait before you jump into bed with her.
As I said before there is nothing wrong with one night stands as long as you are being safe and you both understand that it is casual and not going to lead elsewhere.
Even then I beg to differ. Some people lie in the hope it will lead to something more. One night stands are terrible for those people who are seeking and wanting more and using them to get 'love' or affection in this manner. I don't know of many people who are happy & content and enjoy one night stands. Usually the people involved have something missing or one party does. Usually they lose some self-respect.
everything i said about her is true on my part. the text regarding std's is the only thing she may have taken a lot of offence to and decided she wants to ignore me because of it. i am not sure i deserve to be totally blanked because of it, though
I'm getting confused by the timeline here. Did she start blanking you before or after the text message asking whether she had the clap? If after, I'm not in the slightest bit surprised and I'm surprised she didn't turn up at your place with a sledgehammer for you being so rude. If it was before, she now knows she was right.
she had 3 daughters already. i think they were all in their early teens or thereabouts. after having 3 girls, why would she want another child at the age of 43? i don't know how some women's minds work, but i would have thought she wouldn't want any more. could she have wanted another child for benefits? she spoke of an ex, but i don't know if that was her husband or just a boyfriend, or the father of her children.
I must have missed the age difference before, but why should she want a clingy youngster who demands as much attention as her kids. Nice to know that you think so much of her that you think she might just want another child for benefits, after a gap of at least a dozen years. In future, treat women with respect and they'll treat you better.
Harsh advice perhaps, but hopefully you'll learn from it. Try meeting real people instead of using the internet. Try something like www.spiceuk.com to improve you social life and do some interesting things, rather then sitting around at home.
Mikey, if you really want to contact her via the app, then do so. However, bear in mind that she is not responding to your texts so there is no reason why she would respond to a further approach.
The std comment was insensitive, and I am sure with hindsight you would've handled things differently, but you are where you are.
Message her, apologise, say you would like to to meet etc.
But be prepared for no response, and if that is the case then you need to stop obsessing, let it go and move on. It won't be easy but it will be a lot easier than what you are currently putting yourself through.
Good luck.
that is true. I dunno, if i have annoyed her with my comments, then maybe she does want to talk to me, but because she seems quite shy, she may not want to make the first move. I don't want to make myself look like a prat, but i guess it's one last message.
i was thinking i might just wait until next week and then send her a msg on that app by politely asking how she is and how the kids are etc. i am certainly not cutting my chickens though as i am less than optimistic of a response. it is either that or i text her one more time, because she may get a lot of msgs on the app and therefore miss my msg.
I'm getting confused by the timeline here. Did she start blanking you before or after the text message asking whether she had the clap? If after, I'm not in the slightest bit surprised and I'm surprised she didn't turn up at your place with a sledgehammer for you being so rude. If it was before, she now knows she was right.
I must have missed the age difference before, but why should she want a clingy youngster who demands as much attention as her kids. Nice to know that you think so much of her that you think she might just want another child for benefits, after a gap of at least a dozen years. In future, treat women with respect and they'll treat you better.
Harsh advice perhaps, but hopefully you'll learn from it. Try meeting real people instead of using the internet. Try something like www.spiceuk.com to improve you social life and do some interesting things, rather then sitting around at home.
well after i asked about the stds, i text her to ask if she was working just to get off the topic, then she replied with yeah she was, then i text again just apologising for keeping her up the night before as she must of been tired. then i think the monday after i text her to see how she was and she replied with "you?" and i replied, then no answer. then i sent another text after a few days just saying that if she didn't want to speak to me fair enough, but it would be nice to keep in touch etc, but never got a reply.
i am not really being clingy, i just seriously thought that she wanted something serious and that's why i was confused when she just started ignoring me. she said that she wanted to see me again during my time at her home and the next day, so i was just confused about the whole situation.
Nothing wrong with one night stands if that's what both people want and both have the same outlook. If one wants more and the other doesn't then it's always going to be a problem. Personally, it's not for me as I'd be in constant emotional turmoil (assuming that I were attractive enough to live the life of a womaniser). I think you'd need to be the type of person who can switch your feelings off and on quite quickly (or avoid them altogether) and I've never been that.
It's hard to know what type of person she is in this situation. It seems pretty cruel just to ignore someone after sleeping with them. Then again, it all sounds rather strange - all in all.
I wouldn't personally use a dating website. Dating is awkward enough for me without the added problem of all initial communication being through the written word. That's an added barrier I could do without and I think it's far easier for people to misrepresent themselves in words. I'd rather things just start naturally and at their own pace. That's just what's best for me though. Other people might well swear by them.
How many people here have used dating websites? Good or bad experiences?
Next time you meet a girl, talk to her about the important things such as what she wants out of your relationship. Maybe she just wanted sex, if so, next time wait before you jump into bed with her.
we did speak, albeit briefly, about what she was looking for and she told me she wanted to start off as friends and see what happens, but she was looking for someone to be with in a serious relationship.
we never spent enough time together one on one, face to face to talk about these things. i regret not spending more time talking about this with her while i was at her place, but we just ended up sleeping with each other and it just seemed a bit rushed and i never had time to think properly.
on her profile it even said she was looking for something serious and, i quote, "not just rumpy pumpy" but i understand people may lie on a dating profile, but usually women are more honest than men when it comes to putting this kind of info on a dating profile. usually it's the guys who will say anything to get into a woman's pants.
Comments
In future, remember that some texting devices have an interactive real time audio two way communication capability, so phone her and have a chat rather than relying on bloody impersonal text messages.
She was being even more of an insensitive prick (using your terms here!) by blanking OP, after he had already told her he really liked her, etc
Remember that we only have one side of the story. It would be interesting to hear hers.
Most women would be offended! If you really like her you should apologise to her and explain you were stressed and had a rash which worried you.
Or he thought he might be pregnant
I've heard stories like that, get pregnant and nothing to do with the dad.
I think it's unlikely she's pregnant after just one time but then it's not entirely impossible.
Hopefully she'll have her time of the month.
I think you should just forget about her tbh ( I know easier said than done) get a health check & fingers crossed shes not pregnant., she might have been on the pill?
Hopefully your meet someone who wants more than one thing
everything i said about her is true on my part. the text regarding std's is the only thing she may have taken a lot of offence to and decided she wants to ignore me because of it. i am not sure i deserve to be totally blanked because of it, though
she had 3 daughters already. i think they were all in their early teens or thereabouts. after having 3 girls, why would she want another child at the age of 43? i don't know how some women's minds work, but i would have thought she wouldn't want any more. could she have wanted another child for benefits? she spoke of an ex, but i don't know if that was her husband or just a boyfriend, or the father of her children.
i just have this niggling feeling of wanting to message her on the dating app/site i met her on. it was called "badoo" i don't know if you have heard of it? it isn't a great app, but it's decent for using on a smartphone and works well enough.
i just want to say to her that i would really like to see her sometime and maybe grab or drink to talk about things, and apologise if she is upset about the comments i made regarding std's. i don't know if she would even reply, but i have a big urge to message her and find out. i mean she's not replied to my texts and i know she's been online on the dating app, so that's the only other option. the problem is i don't want to seem like i'm desperate, but i want to get in touch. maybe she does want to talk to me as well, but is waiting for me to make the first move, as she seemed to before when we were speaking. i think she is quite shy and doesn't speak a lot or know what to say unless i carry the conversation. that is how she came across.
The std comment was insensitive, and I am sure with hindsight you would've handled things differently, but you are where you are.
Message her, apologise, say you would like to to meet etc.
But be prepared for no response, and if that is the case then you need to stop obsessing, let it go and move on. It won't be easy but it will be a lot easier than what you are currently putting yourself through.
Good luck.
Also stop looking at her profile! Trust me if she wanted to contact you she would have.
Maybe take a break from the dating app, spend the next month just being yourself and doing the things you enjoy. Then go back to it fresh. Or maybe take a break and then try a different site/app.
My message you quoted was me being silly.
I think that the lady you met - as she was older than you - was probably looking for a fun time, she probably was not looking for a relationship.
I think that you should look on this as life experience, get yourself checked out STD wise if you have not done so already and then start meeting new people. I have used Oasis dating before as there are a lot of people on there from where I live, you could also try this it is free. But please start talking to new people in real life also both male and female and make friends and see what happens.
As I said before there is nothing wrong with one night stands as long as you are being safe and you both understand that it is casual and not going to lead elsewhere. Communication between people is important and hopefully as you get older and more confident you will be able to limit the upset that you are feeling now.
I found the "Would like to meet" tv shows very good, here's a link to one on you tube.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8qKavUCFts
Next time you meet a girl, talk to her about the important things such as what she wants out of your relationship. Maybe she just wanted sex, if so, next time wait before you jump into bed with her.
Even then I beg to differ. Some people lie in the hope it will lead to something more. One night stands are terrible for those people who are seeking and wanting more and using them to get 'love' or affection in this manner. I don't know of many people who are happy & content and enjoy one night stands. Usually the people involved have something missing or one party does. Usually they lose some self-respect.
Harsh advice perhaps, but hopefully you'll learn from it. Try meeting real people instead of using the internet. Try something like www.spiceuk.com to improve you social life and do some interesting things, rather then sitting around at home.
"Excuse me, do you have any STD, s ?????
Op, what were you thinking????
that is true. I dunno, if i have annoyed her with my comments, then maybe she does want to talk to me, but because she seems quite shy, she may not want to make the first move. I don't want to make myself look like a prat, but i guess it's one last message.
i was thinking i might just wait until next week and then send her a msg on that app by politely asking how she is and how the kids are etc. i am certainly not cutting my chickens though as i am less than optimistic of a response. it is either that or i text her one more time, because she may get a lot of msgs on the app and therefore miss my msg.
thanks for the advice though, i appreciate it.
well after i asked about the stds, i text her to ask if she was working just to get off the topic, then she replied with yeah she was, then i text again just apologising for keeping her up the night before as she must of been tired. then i think the monday after i text her to see how she was and she replied with "you?" and i replied, then no answer. then i sent another text after a few days just saying that if she didn't want to speak to me fair enough, but it would be nice to keep in touch etc, but never got a reply.
i am not really being clingy, i just seriously thought that she wanted something serious and that's why i was confused when she just started ignoring me. she said that she wanted to see me again during my time at her home and the next day, so i was just confused about the whole situation.
It's hard to know what type of person she is in this situation. It seems pretty cruel just to ignore someone after sleeping with them. Then again, it all sounds rather strange - all in all.
I wouldn't personally use a dating website. Dating is awkward enough for me without the added problem of all initial communication being through the written word. That's an added barrier I could do without and I think it's far easier for people to misrepresent themselves in words. I'd rather things just start naturally and at their own pace. That's just what's best for me though. Other people might well swear by them.
How many people here have used dating websites? Good or bad experiences?
we did speak, albeit briefly, about what she was looking for and she told me she wanted to start off as friends and see what happens, but she was looking for someone to be with in a serious relationship.
we never spent enough time together one on one, face to face to talk about these things. i regret not spending more time talking about this with her while i was at her place, but we just ended up sleeping with each other and it just seemed a bit rushed and i never had time to think properly.
on her profile it even said she was looking for something serious and, i quote, "not just rumpy pumpy" but i understand people may lie on a dating profile, but usually women are more honest than men when it comes to putting this kind of info on a dating profile. usually it's the guys who will say anything to get into a woman's pants.