So who wants to be the first to see how much they charge and whether you pay in cash or sausages (smart price only), trifle or even fruit and veg
Perhaps they'll turn up if you pay their petrol fees (don't worry, if it's a late do, they can always sleep in the car again) and give them first crack at the buffet
Audrey's lament ( with apologies to The Kingston Trio and Allentown Jail).
They've locked up my family in Blackburn Jail Oh oh oh oh
And no one has come forth to put up their bail, oh oh oh oh
They say at the Courthouse they'll never go free
For they stole a Sausage, a beautiful Sausage to give, to give to me.
I'll dance for you Mister I'll sing you a song
Of the Tv guide and I won't get it wrong
I'll hug you Mister if you let them go free
For they stole a Sausage, a beautiful Sausage, to give, to give to me
You'll find no one like them though you search the world round
And that's why we need the best Lawyer in town
They shouted and swore because they love me
For they stole a Sausage, a beautiful Sausage, to give, to give to me
Somewhere in Blackburn Jail, my heart lies in Blackburn Jail.
I'll do it. It's my workmate's 50th in June and I am in charge of organising the entertainment for her. A personal appearance by the Chawners would be amazing.
But what would they actually do? Sit there, and sign autographs for bemused party goers? Sing? Dance? Tell jokes? Whether I have to pay in sausages or cash, I want value for money.
Everyone at work wants me to book Fake That though.:( Bobby Williams is apparently as good, if not better, than the real thing.
Bit off topic but this dude was on come dine with me and was quite funny and does actually look like a fat version of Robbie.
About 17. I worked in a toyshop and had to promote the ninja turtle figures, this one lad wouldn't stop kicking me and his mother laughed along so I whacked him one across the head.
Can't believe she reported me :mad:
Just catching up on the last few weeks of CoC and saw this from Gothy which reminded me of my time as a Little Chef waitress during uni holidays.
A family sat down at the ONLY table that was dirty and refused to move to a clean one even though there was a massive sign at the door saying "Please wait to be seated". They were horrible. They were shouting orders at me as I was trying to clean the table so rather than do the usual of wiping crumbs off the table into another cloth I just got into a fluster and wiped them off the table quick onto the floor......straight into their baby's face who was in a carrier under the table!
It's both sad and pathetic that Phil actually thinks all those people on Facebook are his friends! How many of them does he know personally or has even met? Get a grip Phil, 'friends' is just a nice, cosy Facebook term - they're not real friends and chances are never will be.
And I am literally gobsmacked that they have an agent! :eek:
reading the posts and having a laugh...surprised to see Phil can spell "digital" but can't spell "as"....
It must have something to do with being able to copy a word rather than just randomly using it. He also spelled the bacteria in his gut correctly. That's the only logical explanation. I wonder if he says "has" for "as"? I have an uncle who says "Hit's" for "It's", but that's the only time he uses the H inappropriately.
It must have something to do with being able to copy a word rather than just randomly using it. He also spelled the bacteria in his gut correctly. That's the only logical explanation. I wonder if he says "has" for "as"? I have an uncle who says "Hit's" for "It's", but that's the only time he uses the H inappropriately.
good point about the copying...even a monkey can mimic an action...at least the monkey shows more intelligence than Phil does
^What an absolute idiot Phil Chawner is.... FFS, why make yoiur profile open to all and why accept friend requests from strangers He really isn't the sharpest tool....
This is his problem, he lacks the ability to comprehend that at least 4,990 of his 5000 facebook friends are there for shit and giggles and not because they admire him and his family.
If he had an ounce of common sense, he'd realise that there is nothing inspirational about a family of bludgers (to use a Kiwi term for benefits scroungers) who have had thousands of pounds thrown at them to assist them to get healthy and find work, and those folk telling him he is amazing are taking the piss, big time.
Not sure if anyone has mentioned it.... But the first series of Lorraine's big fat challenge is being repeated starting on Monday, 30th at 3.00pm on bio.
Not sure if anyone has mentioned it.... But the first series of Lorraine's big fat challenge is being repeated starting on Monday, 30th at 3.00pm on bio.
That's the one when we all believed they could lose weight and they even seemed quite motivated. Well we learned our lesson!
I will have to watch again to see when they stopped being grateful for all the help, and started believing they were Megastars who could do what they liked and we would still love them. They were wrong, by the third series we'd all seen what monsters :eek:they'd become.
Morning all.. Sorry to hear, that the 2nd leader of CoC, has gone.. Will miss your witty comments Alfie... Apparently the Chunks were in their local Bingo Hall on Wednesday of last week, & won £200... Shame they didnt use this to pay their three fines of £80... Instead, they are stupid enough to try & fight an ex-magistrate in Preston court on the 18th of June...Isnt Phlip, going to have a nice Birthday on the 15th???..
Not sure if anyone has mentioned it.... But the first series of Lorraine's big fat challenge is being repeated starting on Monday, 30th at 3.00pm on bio.
Just checked and this is only on Bio HD - Sky channel 211 and not on the bog standard Bio channel :mad:
Bit off topic but this dude was on come dine with me and was quite funny and does actually look like a fat version of Robbie.
I cant believe the chawners have got an agent.
The general consensus at work is that Fake That will be better entertainment that the Chawners.
However, I will endeavour to persuade everyone that they would be ideal for the big corporate Christmas party in December, when all the CEO's from all across Europe descend on the UK for mince pies and sweet sherry.
Does anyone know how much the Chawners charge for personal appearances? And do they actually do anything entertaining? I would expect at least a song or two, and perhaps some stand-up comedy from Audrey. Okay, sit-down comedy, let's be realistic.:D
They don't treat their animals do they. It's doubtful the dogs will catch anything never leaving the house unless it's Audrey mould. I can't imagine people who keep a dog in a box and don't walk it bother to spend their benefits keeping it healthy seeing as they can barely afford to eat on their pittance allegedly.
They don't treat their animals do they. It's doubtful the dogs will catch anything never leaving the house unless it's Audrey mould. I can't imagine people who keep a dog in a box and don't walk it bother to spend their benefits keeping it healthy seeing as they can barely afford to eat on their pittance allegedly.
Well if they can't afford to feed themselves - what do the animals eat, they have 2 dogs, a cat, hamster etc.
Hope they don't feed them on Smart price sausages - there is nothing nutritional in them
I wonder if they still have Ruby? That poor Border Collie, how on earth did that family pass the home assessment from animal rescue? I assume they got her from a shelter and didn't buy her from a breeder, as money is so tight. They can't afford, iphone contracts, acrylic nails, cigarettes and a pedigree dog as well.
I expect the dogs get fed on Tesco Value dog food, if there is such a thing. Then they probably lick the Chawners dinner plates clean to save on washing up.
Comments
Perhaps they'll turn up if you pay their petrol fees (don't worry, if it's a late do, they can always sleep in the car again) and give them first crack at the buffet
They've locked up my family in Blackburn Jail Oh oh oh oh
And no one has come forth to put up their bail, oh oh oh oh
They say at the Courthouse they'll never go free
For they stole a Sausage, a beautiful Sausage to give, to give to me.
I'll dance for you Mister I'll sing you a song
Of the Tv guide and I won't get it wrong
I'll hug you Mister if you let them go free
For they stole a Sausage, a beautiful Sausage, to give, to give to me
You'll find no one like them though you search the world round
And that's why we need the best Lawyer in town
They shouted and swore because they love me
For they stole a Sausage, a beautiful Sausage, to give, to give to me
Somewhere in Blackburn Jail, my heart lies in Blackburn Jail.
Bit off topic but this dude was on come dine with me and was quite funny and does actually look like a fat version of Robbie.
I cant believe the chawners have got an agent.
Just catching up on the last few weeks of CoC and saw this from Gothy which reminded me of my time as a Little Chef waitress during uni holidays.
A family sat down at the ONLY table that was dirty and refused to move to a clean one even though there was a massive sign at the door saying "Please wait to be seated". They were horrible. They were shouting orders at me as I was trying to clean the table so rather than do the usual of wiping crumbs off the table into another cloth I just got into a fluster and wiped them off the table quick onto the floor......straight into their baby's face who was in a carrier under the table!
Wow, they were mad!
And I am literally gobsmacked that they have an agent! :eek:
And once again great ditties/rhymes/poems
Just read about alfie! What in Chawner is going on? At least Tally was only temporarily removed.
Very sad
It must have something to do with being able to copy a word rather than just randomly using it. He also spelled the bacteria in his gut correctly. That's the only logical explanation. I wonder if he says "has" for "as"? I have an uncle who says "Hit's" for "It's", but that's the only time he uses the H inappropriately.
good point about the copying...even a monkey can mimic an action...at least the monkey shows more intelligence than Phil does
If he had an ounce of common sense, he'd realise that there is nothing inspirational about a family of bludgers (to use a Kiwi term for benefits scroungers) who have had thousands of pounds thrown at them to assist them to get healthy and find work, and those folk telling him he is amazing are taking the piss, big time.
LOL
Upstairs amongst my record collection I have the 7" single of the duet he did with Agnetha of ABBA, "Never Again".
Sorry for going off topic Chawner Chums.
That's the one when we all believed they could lose weight and they even seemed quite motivated. Well we learned our lesson!
I will have to watch again to see when they stopped being grateful for all the help, and started believing they were Megastars who could do what they liked and we would still love them. They were wrong, by the third series we'd all seen what monsters :eek:they'd become.
Just checked and this is only on Bio HD - Sky channel 211 and not on the bog standard Bio channel :mad:
Can't afford HD :mad:
Perhaps I could develop a nice little sideline in copying onto DVD?:D
However, I will endeavour to persuade everyone that they would be ideal for the big corporate Christmas party in December, when all the CEO's from all across Europe descend on the UK for mince pies and sweet sherry.
Does anyone know how much the Chawners charge for personal appearances? And do they actually do anything entertaining? I would expect at least a song or two, and perhaps some stand-up comedy from Audrey. Okay, sit-down comedy, let's be realistic.:D
How do the chunks afford to treat their animals
Well if they can't afford to feed themselves - what do the animals eat, they have 2 dogs, a cat, hamster etc.
Hope they don't feed them on Smart price sausages - there is nothing nutritional in them
I expect the dogs get fed on Tesco Value dog food, if there is such a thing. Then they probably lick the Chawners dinner plates clean to save on washing up.
:eek::eek: