Well, there's Britain's Got Talent where a dancing dog is considered a spectacle. Perhaps Josie could demonstrate her scientifically proven slimming techniques by half-heartedly running on the spot for 30 seconds and losing 6 stone.
Well, there's Britain's Got Talent where a dancing dog is considered a spectacle. Perhaps Josie could demonstrate her scientifically proven slimming techniques by half-heartedly running on the spot for 30 seconds and losing 6 stone.
Hmm it's good, but storylines need to be dragged out for as long as possible.
I'm thinking start with something like - 'Me and me Lukey desperately want a baby, but I'm having trouble conceiving because I'm soooo underweight, all thanks to #Josie'sH'amazingDVD (RRP) £14, available at Amazon.co.uk!
(Photoshoot direction - Josie sitting on the toilet, sad face, holding a preganacy test in one hand and her DVD in the other)
We can then have months worth of magazine columns about this epic struggle to get pregnant..
Bawdy tales of setting alarms at peak fertility times so Luke can bend her over her #LushNewKitchenWorktops from @SlebKitchens
(Photoshoot direction - Both naked....Josie leaning on worktop, saucy seaside postcard face, Luke behind her holding a kitchen timer. Couple of strategically placed melons on the beautiful worktop to protect her modesty...)
Pondering if the reason it's not happening is because 'that good for bloody nuthin' Lukey has no balls whatsoever.
(Photoshoot direction - dress Luke up in a dog suit and literally put him in a doghouse. Their pet dog stands nearby, Luke looks enviously at the dogs balls)
Getting frustrated with Lukey and attempting to become pregnant with the help of a gay best friend.
(Photoshoot direction, Josie and GBF sat up in bed wearing matching pink pajamas, clutching a turkey baster)
Piling the pounds back on because of the HEARTBREAK HELL she's going through.
(Photoshoot direction - the usual... Josie, pink bikini, Portuguese beach)
As this struggle goes on and frustration grows, Josie decides it's time to stop feeling sorry for herself and reflects on her time in Ghana... and wonders if one of them 'piss potless' women will swap their baby for a bottle of her perfume.
(Photoshoot direction - Josie wearing something floaty from whatever shop is giving her free dresses at the time, looking wistful and cradling her perfume box in her arms like it's a baby)
With a bit of luck this will take us through until around July and she will be fatter again, so we can start working on the DVD for next Christmas.
(Photoshoot direction - unflattering neon fitness wear, personal trainer, public space)
---
Merry Christmas Josie's agent - you can have all those ideas for free. If you want some more, PM me and we'll negotiate my rates.
Utterly brilliant - as always
The bit in bold - maybe that's how the bottle of Eau De Shame got there in the first place :eek: Maybe the baby's being airbrushed as we speak.
Well, there's Britain's Got Talent where a dancing dog is considered a spectacle. Perhaps Josie could demonstrate her scientifically proven slimming techniques by half-heartedly running on the spot for 30 seconds and losing 6 stone.
:D Could be fun to see her have to take some constructive criticism. I honestly wouldn't fancy Sharon Osbourne's chances - and that's saying something.
The bit in bold - maybe that's how the bottle of Eau De Shame got there in the first place :eek: Maybe the baby's being airbrushed as we speak.
:D Could be fun to see her have to take some constructive criticism. I honestly wouldn't fancy Sharon Osbourne's chances - and that's saying something.
bib made me snort I'm not at my most elegant reading this thread tonight
I just figured out what the bottom part of the offending letter reads. It's 'lollipop head'. As in very, very thin?
Yep - I think she wrote that herself.
Good woman you are. I did wonder what that was. At first glance I thought it was something-or-other-poo-head. Thought Court had been framed.
Hello and welcome to Wibby, Mary-Kate & Zillie. What really lovely posts. Hope you'll all post more often.
Zillie are you the pretty wee girl (you can be immodest this once) who riles up the Josie's Twatters? I rarely nosy on twitter these days but think I remember you from back in the day. Hope you'll bring lots of evidence (gossip) for us to mull over (laugh & point) during sessions.
robokitten - loved your post. Funny kitten. Love love your humour.
Also, while I'm here, I had a wee skim through part 10 thanks to the link re Malarky. There is so much funny stuff I'd forgotten. I remember really lol'ing at the stoopid friend's inept defence: 'They swap bedrooms ALL THE TIME!!!!'. I'd completely forgotten Hoovering-at-04:15-or-not-gate. That was in my top 3 lol moments but I can't remember the details.
Does anyone remember it? She was contradicting herself (again) about JJ coming home one night iirc. Did she say they (JJ 1&2?) came home at 04:15. Then said she was hoovering when they came home? I want to laugh at her ridiculous backtracking again. Remind me.
Hmm it's good, but storylines need to be dragged out for as long as possible.
I'm thinking start with something like - 'Me and me Lukey desperately want a baby, but I'm having trouble conceiving because I'm soooo underweight, all thanks to #Josie'sH'amazingDVD (RRP) £14, available at Amazon.co.uk!
(Photoshoot direction - Josie sitting on the toilet, sad face, holding a preganacy test in one hand and her DVD in the other)
We can then have months worth of magazine columns about this epic struggle to get pregnant..
Bawdy tales of setting alarms at peak fertility times so Luke can bend her over her #LushNewKitchenWorktops from @SlebKitchens
(Photoshoot direction - Both naked....Josie leaning on worktop, saucy seaside postcard face, Luke behind her holding a kitchen timer. Couple of strategically placed melons on the beautiful worktop to protect her modesty...)
Pondering if the reason it's not happening is because 'that good for bloody nuthin' Lukey has no balls whatsoever.
(Photoshoot direction - dress Luke up in a dog suit and literally put him in a doghouse. Their pet dog stands nearby, Luke looks enviously at the dogs balls)
Getting frustrated with Lukey and attempting to become pregnant with the help of a gay best friend.
(Photoshoot direction, Josie and GBF sat up in bed wearing matching pink pajamas, clutching a turkey baster)
Piling the pounds back on because of the HEARTBREAK HELL she's going through.
(Photoshoot direction - the usual... Josie, pink bikini, Portuguese beach)
As this struggle goes on and frustration grows, Josie decides it's time to stop feeling sorry for herself and reflects on her time in Ghana... and wonders if one of them 'piss potless' women will swap their baby for a bottle of her perfume.
(Photoshoot direction - Josie wearing something floaty from whatever shop is giving her free dresses at the time, looking wistful and cradling her perfume box in her arms like it's a baby)
With a bit of luck this will take us through until around July and she will be fatter again, so we can start working on the DVD for next Christmas.
(Photoshoot direction - unflattering neon fitness wear, personal trainer, public space)
---
Merry Christmas Josie's agent - you can have all those ideas for free. If you want some more, PM me and we'll negotiate my rates.
Abso- bloody- lutely brilliant, thats this threads Christmas number 1 lol
Merry Christmas Robokitten xx
Good woman you are. I did wonder what that was. At first glance I thought it was something-or-other-poo-head. Thought Court had been framed.
Hello and welcome to Wibby, Mary-Kate & Zillie. What really lovely posts. Hope you'll all post more often.
Zillie are you the pretty wee girl (you can be immodest this once) who riles up the Josie's T:Dwatters? I rarely nosy on twitter these days but think I remember you from back in the day. Hope you'll bring lots of evidence (gossip) for us to mull over (laugh & point) during sessions.
Hi Tinkers, not sure about the pretty but I do have the knack of riling up the muckers, im the devil incarnate according to some lol so obviously im right at home on the ocean of venom thread haha
Zillie on the court thread,I think we need tin hats at the ready.With Zills on board we are bound to flying objects thrown at us....Welcome Wibby take a pew...Merry Crimbo new and old posters.
Hi Johno, I think a few will be chomping on the bit because ive joined all you jealous posters in this pit of venom lol
Merry Christmas Johno, xx
Hmm it's good, but storylines need to be dragged out for as long as possible.
I'm thinking start with something like - 'Me and me Lukey desperately want a baby, but I'm having trouble conceiving because I'm soooo underweight, all thanks to #Josie'sH'amazingDVD (RRP) £14, available at Amazon.co.uk!
(Photoshoot direction - Josie sitting on the toilet, sad face, holding a preganacy test in one hand and her DVD in the other)
We can then have months worth of magazine columns about this epic struggle to get pregnant..
Bawdy tales of setting alarms at peak fertility times so Luke can bend her over her #LushNewKitchenWorktops from @SlebKitchens
(Photoshoot direction - Both naked....Josie leaning on worktop, saucy seaside postcard face, Luke behind her holding a kitchen timer. Couple of strategically placed melons on the beautiful worktop to protect her modesty...)
Pondering if the reason it's not happening is because 'that good for bloody nuthin' Lukey has no balls whatsoever.
(Photoshoot direction - dress Luke up in a dog suit and literally put him in a doghouse. Their pet dog stands nearby, Luke looks enviously at the dogs balls)
Getting frustrated with Lukey and attempting to become pregnant with the help of a gay best friend.
(Photoshoot direction, Josie and GBF sat up in bed wearing matching pink pajamas, clutching a turkey baster)
Piling the pounds back on because of the HEARTBREAK HELL she's going through.
(Photoshoot direction - the usual... Josie, pink bikini, Portuguese beach)
As this struggle goes on and frustration grows, Josie decides it's time to stop feeling sorry for herself and reflects on her time in Ghana... and wonders if one of them 'piss potless' women will swap their baby for a bottle of her perfume.
(Photoshoot direction - Josie wearing something floaty from whatever shop is giving her free dresses at the time, looking wistful and cradling her perfume box in her arms like it's a baby)
With a bit of luck this will take us through until around July and she will be fatter again, so we can start working on the DVD for next Christmas.
(Photoshoot direction - unflattering neon fitness wear, personal trainer, public space)
---
Merry Christmas Josie's agent - you can have all those ideas for free. If you want some more, PM me and we'll negotiate my rates.
How could you not find this funny??? No bitterness, no hate just plain good old fashion Humour.
One mans meat is another man's poison. Which has been shown on this thread when other hms have been criticised and squabbling has broken out.
Merry Christmas to you all and enjoy your party and no kissing under the mistletoe.
This is very true, Missbeenie.
Nice to see a Josie defender who sees the bigger picture. I may not share your taste in this case, but I do share some of your motivations. Merry Christmas to you too.
One mans meat is another man's poison. Which has been shown on this thread when other hms have been criticised and squabbling has broken out.
Merry Christmas to you all and enjoy your party and no kissing under the mistletoe.
Fair point, my statement was very much tongue in cheek and of course not everyone gets the humour all of the time or in some peoples case none of the time. If I may use your analogy its the way some deal with "the poison" that causes the squabbling as you put it. There is a perfect example a few pages back which I won't quote but I would certainly call one of my WTF??? moments. This place is one massive piss take...always has been (the title of the thread kinda gives it away)...If people don't get the humour that's fine, I think we as a thread can live with that, however, when posters start getting personal then obviously hackles are going to be raised. Its been said a hundred times this is not an appreciation thread and yet some still don't seem grasp that concept.
Ahem can't give any guarantees about the mistletoe...far too many lovely ladies wandering about the court
Haha. The whole thing is pantomine and the Munchkins are pished off at Josie.
Is it wrong to have a dream at this time of year?
Mine is that Josie forgets her panto lines and ad libs to fill in the gaps with a few crude Crab Eyes jokes from her repartee. This of course is incomprehensible to all but the Muckers and Reuniters having a fist fight over the front row seats block booking.
Thousands of miles away a Crab Gasket is blown to smithereens when a Reuniter tweet arrives - "Oh John, if only you could see how much she still cares and has even put you in the panto"
Mine is that Josie forgets her panto lines and ad libs to fill in the gaps with a few crude Crab Eyes jokes from her repartee. This of course is incomprehensible to all but the Muckers and Reuniters having a fist fight over the front row seats block booking.
Thousands of miles away a Crab Gasket is blown to smithereens when a Reuniter tweet arrives - "Oh John, if only you could see how much she still cares and has even put you in the panto"
Mine is that Josie forgets her panto lines and ad libs to fill in the gaps with a few crude Crab Eyes jokes from her repartee. This of course is incomprehensible to all but the Muckers and Reuniters having a fist fight over the front row seats block booking.
Thousands of miles away a Crab Gasket is blown to smithereens when a Reuniter tweet arrives - "Oh John, if only you could see how much she still cares and has even put you in the panto"
You only have to read "other places" to know thats not at ALL farfetched:D
It really is a case of worship at her feet or we'll follow you wherever you go and bully you into submission; perhaps by posting personal details. How fascinatingly juvenile.
It really is a case of worship at her feet or we'll follow you wherever you go and bully you into submission; perhaps by posting personal details. How fascinatingly juvenile.
Has the court pantomime started?
(Jumps out of witness box where I was going to suggest the court issues a direct summons to Crabby via Twatter)
Pulls on Dandini costume. Sorry, wrong panto, but it's the one I like.
Comments
Thanks for my ,laugh of the day:D
I spit out my tea.. not a good look
Utterly brilliant - as always
The bit in bold - maybe that's how the bottle of Eau De Shame got there in the first place :eek: Maybe the baby's being airbrushed as we speak.
Me too. Some very talented people in this thread.
bib made me snort
Good woman you are. I did wonder what that was. At first glance I thought it was something-or-other-poo-head. Thought Court had been framed.
Hello and welcome to Wibby, Mary-Kate & Zillie. What really lovely posts. Hope you'll all post more often.
Zillie are you the pretty wee girl (you can be immodest this once) who riles up the Josie's Twatters? I rarely nosy on twitter these days but think I remember you from back in the day. Hope you'll bring lots of evidence (gossip) for us to mull over (laugh & point) during sessions.
Also, while I'm here, I had a wee skim through part 10 thanks to the link re Malarky. There is so much funny stuff I'd forgotten. I remember really lol'ing at the stoopid friend's inept defence: 'They swap bedrooms ALL THE TIME!!!!'. I'd completely forgotten Hoovering-at-04:15-or-not-gate. That was in my top 3 lol moments but I can't remember the details.
Does anyone remember it? She was contradicting herself (again) about JJ coming home one night iirc. Did she say they (JJ 1&2?) came home at 04:15. Then said she was hoovering when they came home? I want to laugh at her ridiculous backtracking again. Remind me.
Haha. The whole thing is pantomine and the Munchkins are pished off at Josie.
Merry Christmas Robokitten xx
Hi Tinkers, not sure about the pretty but I do have the knack of riling up the muckers, im the devil incarnate according to some lol so obviously im right at home on the ocean of venom thread haha
Hi Johno, I think a few will be chomping on the bit because ive joined all you jealous posters in this pit of venom lol
Merry Christmas Johno, xx
Thought it was time I joined the best thread on DS.
Merry Christmas xx
How could you not find this funny??? No bitterness, no hate just plain good old fashion Humour.
Robo.......I am, as ever, in awe of you
One mans meat is another man's poison. Which has been shown on this thread when other hms have been criticised and squabbling has broken out.
Merry Christmas to you all and enjoy your party and no kissing under the mistletoe.
This is very true, Missbeenie.
Nice to see a Josie defender who sees the bigger picture. I may not share your taste in this case, but I do share some of your motivations. Merry Christmas to you too.
Fair point, my statement was very much tongue in cheek and of course not everyone gets the humour all of the time or in some peoples case none of the time. If I may use your analogy its the way some deal with "the poison" that causes the squabbling as you put it. There is a perfect example a few pages back which I won't quote but I would certainly call one of my WTF??? moments. This place is one massive piss take...always has been (the title of the thread kinda gives it away)...If people don't get the humour that's fine, I think we as a thread can live with that, however, when posters start getting personal then obviously hackles are going to be raised. Its been said a hundred times this is not an appreciation thread and yet some still don't seem grasp that concept.
Ahem can't give any guarantees about the mistletoe...far too many lovely ladies wandering about the court
Oh and a very merry Christmas to you
Is it wrong to have a dream at this time of year?
Mine is that Josie forgets her panto lines and ad libs to fill in the gaps with a few crude Crab Eyes jokes from her repartee. This of course is incomprehensible to all but the Muckers and Reuniters having a fist fight over the front row seats block booking.
Thousands of miles away a Crab Gasket is blown to smithereens when a Reuniter tweet arrives - "Oh John, if only you could see how much she still cares and has even put you in the panto"
oh my, I can actually see this happening
And a very Merry Christmas to you missbeenie.
Its fabulous that so MANY folk the last few days have said how much they are enjoying the thread!
And those that arent.............still seem to enjoy reading it - just going by the viewing figures.
I guess life would be quite boring if we all felt the same eh?
Thankfully, though, in spite of many attempts to close the place down - we are still going strong:D
You only have to read "other places" to know thats not at ALL farfetched:D
(Jumps out of witness box where I was going to suggest the court issues a direct summons to Crabby via Twatter)
Pulls on Dandini costume. Sorry, wrong panto, but it's the one I like.