Oh dear. It appears that the OP is somewhat over-sensitive. There is a huge difference between sexual-harrassment and just the annoyances of day-to-day life.
I often have women staring at me on the street and it does feel like I'm being visually raped sometimes. I have gone up to some in the past when I've been feeling especially vulnerable and queried whether they think it's appropriate to stare at men and objectify us in this way.
Ask out and if she says no leave it some men just can't take no for an answer i have no idea why people are sticking up for this blokes behavior.
I think you need to be a bit more self assertive and confident. This man is laying on the chat to a pretty girl. Some women respond to it some don't. You have said no to him. If he does it again, say no again louder. You can't title every bit of unwanted attention as sexual harrassment. Believe me, once you hit 40 and become invisible, these occasions become a fond memory
i`m a bit confused, is it a one off or has it happened three times?
TO be clear.
I made a thread months ago about sexual harresment that was a one off.
the new situation is a about this man who is giving out leaflets he asked for my number twice before i ignore him.the third time he followed 100 yrds down the road asked me if i wanted a leaflet i had one he asked me for my number i told him i had a boyfriend i was waiting to cross the road he them asked me to lunch ignored him he waited for a few seconds realized i was not going anywhere until he left he then went back to the station to give out papers.
Oh dear. It appears that the OP is somewhat over-sensitive. There is a huge difference between sexual-harrassment and just the annoyances of day-to-day life.
You clearly don't understand the meaning of sexual harrassment.
In days gone by, it used to be defined/excused as men being men, just one of those things, etc - which is why sexual harrassment laws were introduced in the first place -when people were no longer prepard to make excuses for such people.
It seems some are still doing the excusing bit. Doesn't change the fact - that the rest of us recognise it for what it is.
I think you need to be a bit more self assertive and confident. This man is laying on the chat to a pretty girl. Some women respond to it some don't. You have said no to him. If he does it again, say no again louder. You can't title every bit of unwanted attention as sexual harrassment. Believe me, once you hit 40 and become invisible, these occasions become a fond memory
Getting older and missing male attention is no reason to advise young girls to put up with it, or even enjoy it. Please, is this 2013 or 1950's.
You clearly don't understand the meaning of sexual harrassment.
In days gone by, it used to be defined/excused as men being men, just one of those things, etc - which is why sexual harrassment laws were introduced in the first place -when people were no longer prepard to make excuses for such people.
It seems some are still doing the excusing bit. Doesn't change the fact - that the rest of us recognise it for what it is.
Thank you for your most informative and instructive post.
BTW I have been around long enough know exactly what sexual harrassment and sexual assault is, having experienced both.
I made a thread months ago about sexual harresment that was a one off.
the new situation is a about this man who is giving out leaflets he asked for my number twice before i ignore him.the third time he followed 100 yrds down the road asked me if i wanted a leaflet i had one he asked me for my number i told him i had a boyfriend i was waiting to cross the road he them asked me to lunch ignored him he waited for a few seconds realized i was not going anywhere until he left he then went back to the station to give out papers.
So he followed you down the road a little way just the once. You answered negativeyl to both his questions then ignored him and he then went away?
I really think you're reading too much into it. If though he follows you again just report it. If he just asks for your number when you walk past then personally I'd ignore it. He probably doesn't recognise you.
Getting older and missing male attention is no reason to advise young girls to put up with it, or even enjoy it. Please, is this 2013 or 1950's.
I haven't told her to put up with it or enjoy it. Please read my whole post, especially the bit where I told her to be assertive and say No, and not cherry pick the bits to suit your agenda.
Thank you for your most informative and instructive post.
BTW I have been around long enough know exactly what sexual harrassment and sexual assault is, having experienced both.
Haven't we all. And what most of us learn from it - is not to put up with it or treat it as a bit of fun - or, god forbid, be flattered by it. It is that attitude that allowed men to get away with it for so long.
I haven't told her to put up with it or enjoy it. Please read my whole post, especially the bit where I told her to be assertive and say No, and not cherry pick the bits to suit your agenda.
You most certainly implied she should be flattered by it and enjoy it while she could.
How about a bit of responsibility and accountability being put on the blokes to learn what is and what is not appropriate behaviour.
The op found the situation uncomfortable and intimidating, hence the thread -shame on any women attempting to undermine how the experience made her feel, whether they believe they would have felt that way in that situation or not.
Getting older and missing male attention is no reason to advise young girls to put up with it, or even enjoy it. Please, is this 2013 or 1950's.
Do you consider that "sexual harrassment" also takes place in the natural world, where in just about every courtship / pre-mating ritual of which I am aware, the male takes the assertive lead?
If so it seems to be a hard-wired fact to a greater or lesser degree, of male biology.
You most certainly implied she should be flattered by it and enjoy it while she could.
How about a bit of responsibility and accountability being put on the blokes to learn what is and what is not appropriate behaviour.
The op found the situation uncomfortable and intimidating, hence the thread -shame on any women attempting to undermine how the experience made her feel, whether they believe they would have felt that way in that situation or not.
I didn't imply that she should do anything or feel a certain way.
Sexual harrassment isn't exlusive to males so not sure why you single out men to learn what is acceptable and appropriate behaviour. Everyone should be responsible for their own behaviour.
Nobody has undermined her feelings. She has been given good advice.
Do you consider that "sexual harrassment" also takes place in the natural world, where in just about every courtship / pre-mating ritual of which I am aware, the male takes the assertive lead?
The male taking the lead is not so predominant in the Western world as it used to be - things are a lot more relaxed now.
Sexual harrassment is everywhere, we all know it - the point is we don't make excuses for it, or tolerate it if it makes us feel uncomfortable or intimidated. Men are not children - they should know better.
Comments
Oh to have a man pap his horn at me *sigh*. I have forgotten what a horn looks like...off to Google horns.
Oh dear
Oh dear. It appears that the OP is somewhat over-sensitive. There is a huge difference between sexual-harrassment and just the annoyances of day-to-day life.
how`d that one pan out op?
Under the rules the OP is operating to.. what IS an acceptable method for males to use to show interest? In anyone?
I completley forgot about that but this time its different this is a noe off i see this person once a week.
still intimidating being by yourself but this guy is just a weirdo who i am talking about he followed me.
Ask out and if she says no leave it some men just can't take no for an answer i have no idea why people are sticking up for this blokes behavior.
And what do you think about the advice to report it if it makes you that uncomfortable that many people have given you?
I think its good advice and i am thinking about doing it i have took all advice in.
i`m a bit confused, is it a one off or has it happened three times?
I think you need to be a bit more self assertive and confident. This man is laying on the chat to a pretty girl. Some women respond to it some don't. You have said no to him. If he does it again, say no again louder. You can't title every bit of unwanted attention as sexual harrassment. Believe me, once you hit 40 and become invisible, these occasions become a fond memory
TO be clear.
I made a thread months ago about sexual harresment that was a one off.
the new situation is a about this man who is giving out leaflets he asked for my number twice before i ignore him.the third time he followed 100 yrds down the road asked me if i wanted a leaflet i had one he asked me for my number i told him i had a boyfriend i was waiting to cross the road he them asked me to lunch ignored him he waited for a few seconds realized i was not going anywhere until he left he then went back to the station to give out papers.
You clearly don't understand the meaning of sexual harrassment.
In days gone by, it used to be defined/excused as men being men, just one of those things, etc - which is why sexual harrassment laws were introduced in the first place -when people were no longer prepard to make excuses for such people.
It seems some are still doing the excusing bit. Doesn't change the fact - that the rest of us recognise it for what it is.
Getting older and missing male attention is no reason to advise young girls to put up with it, or even enjoy it. Please, is this 2013 or 1950's.
Thank you for your most informative and instructive post.
BTW I have been around long enough know exactly what sexual harrassment and sexual assault is, having experienced both.
I really think you're reading too much into it. If though he follows you again just report it. If he just asks for your number when you walk past then personally I'd ignore it. He probably doesn't recognise you.
I haven't told her to put up with it or enjoy it. Please read my whole post, especially the bit where I told her to be assertive and say No, and not cherry pick the bits to suit your agenda.
Haven't we all. And what most of us learn from it - is not to put up with it or treat it as a bit of fun - or, god forbid, be flattered by it. It is that attitude that allowed men to get away with it for so long.
You most certainly implied she should be flattered by it and enjoy it while she could.
How about a bit of responsibility and accountability being put on the blokes to learn what is and what is not appropriate behaviour.
The op found the situation uncomfortable and intimidating, hence the thread -shame on any women attempting to undermine how the experience made her feel, whether they believe they would have felt that way in that situation or not.
Do you consider that "sexual harrassment" also takes place in the natural world, where in just about every courtship / pre-mating ritual of which I am aware, the male takes the assertive lead?
If so it seems to be a hard-wired fact to a greater or lesser degree, of male biology.
I didn't imply that she should do anything or feel a certain way.
Sexual harrassment isn't exlusive to males so not sure why you single out men to learn what is acceptable and appropriate behaviour. Everyone should be responsible for their own behaviour.
Nobody has undermined her feelings. She has been given good advice.
The male taking the lead is not so predominant in the Western world as it used to be - things are a lot more relaxed now.
Sexual harrassment is everywhere, we all know it - the point is we don't make excuses for it, or tolerate it if it makes us feel uncomfortable or intimidated. Men are not children - they should know better.