Going by this post of yours it seems like you're pretty hard going as a friend..
Losing my group of friends due to one person
I have what you might call a network or group of friends who all go around together. One of them is my best friend and the others I've known since school. A few years ago they got in with this guy who's since formed himself as part of our network of friends. For some unknown reason he has a dislike for me yet I've never done anything to upset him. Every time they go out, their night is dictated by this one person. If HE doesn't want to go somewhere then the whole group have to back down to him. He doesn't drink and so is usually the taxi for them whenever they go out so nobody wants to upset him for fear they will lose their free lifts everywhere.
It got to the stage where I was few up doing the same thing every weekend and suggested going out to other places and doing other things but every time I organise a night out, this person refuses to go. In the end it was upsetting the group and so everyone else sided with him and now I am the one who gets left out of everything.
The rest of the guys are still my friends but I never get invited out with them anymore cos it causes tension with this other friend who's got some kind of problem with me. I've tried asking the others what his problem is but they all say "Don't know." Yet I believe that somebody must know or he must have said something to one of them.
One day I confronted him and asked him why he had such a problem with me and he just denied it and said I was being ridiculous.
It's got to the stage where it's causing problems with my best friend cos he has to decide when he goes out, whether to invite him or invite me and he's been made to feel that he has to choose. I don't know why cos nobody will tell me the truth but because of this I always get left out now and it upsets me that they prefer to choose his company over mine. I think mainly because he drives them everywhere. I think maybe they see me as trying to upset their happy little group but it's not like that. I just feel that there is more to life than sitting in the same pub every weekend when we could be going out other places. Trouble is, whenever they do go other places now, I don't get invited anymore. I just feel like I have been outcast for having a mind of my own and not following people round like sheep.
Get over it and yourself - bottom line is you're not as good friends as you thought. Friendships change and evolve over time. I've been married 5 years and now one friend who was my bridesmaid isn't much more than a facebook friend - no nastiness and I hope at some point to be close again but we've just drifted as life gets busy at times. It's just the way things are - don't let it get to you or you'll spend a lot of time being annoyed by things that are beyond your control and life's too short.
Do grown men really get this upset about not being invited to a wedding?
Youve not been invited for whatever reason, do you really want to go if you were invited now?
My oh was best man at a wedding and i wasnt invited initially because the bride didnt want me there. A week before the wedding the invited me because some others who rsvpd had dropped out so i was invited to take one of their places so they didnt lose money! Needless to say i didnt go. If they didnt want me there then i would have felt uncomfortable going. If your mate invites you now because others are feeling uncomfortable would you really want to go?
Apart from my wife's work colleagues and one or two people who were on my college course who we invited to the evening do. None of whom were either family nor friends, just acquaintances. ALL of our friends came to our wedding and the few guests who came in the evening were aware that it was friends and family only for the daytime. We didn't pick and choose which friends or relatives were good enough for certain parts of the day. ALL were invited.
Yes, but that was YOUR wedding and YOUR choices - this is THEIR wedding and THEIR choices - you might not like it, you might feel sneaped (excellent word BTW, never heard it before ), but it's their wedding, their budget, their choices - I doubt there's any particular snub intended, maybe you're not as close as you think, maybe the bride's family are providing the budget and numbers are tight, who knows, but it all boils down to their decision to make, just like your wedding arrangements were yours.
I can't understand why people on here take the OP seriously. Just a quick glance at the threads he's started over the years shows the type of poster he is.
I can't understand why people on here take the OP seriously. Just a quick glance at the threads he's started over the years shows the type of poster he is.
I did that earlier....one of them was just down right weird...
I can't understand why people on here take the OP seriously. Just a quick glance at the threads he's started over the years shows the type of poster he is.
Well he managed to get over 100 posts out of this one so he didn't do too bad for a change.;)
Well I really wanted to see them get married. I'm not bothered about the after doo but it just feels like he doesn't value my friendship as much as I valued his.
Jesus, you're really a one, aren't you. YOU want to see them get married, so YOU get pissed off because YOU'RE not invited to the ceremony. If you're a REAL friend, you'll wish THEM well and hope that THEY have a great day. It's not about you, it's about them so stop bitching about it!
At our own wedding, which was a fairly big occasion as it was, we had to make some tough decisions as to who came to the whole day and who only came to the evening. Truth of the matter is that, ultimately, the decisions we ended up making didn't really reflect on how we thought of the people who were only invited to the evening. Some people came to the whole day, not necessarily because they were our favourite people, but because they had further to travel and/or were a long standing friend of a parent, etc.
I've thoroughly appreciated all wedding invites received from whoever and for whichever part of their day.
I can't understand why people on here take the OP seriously. Just a quick glance at the threads he's started over the years shows the type of poster he is.
I have wondered if its all just attention seeking, as he is only responding to a small number of replies..
Haven't looked at his previous threads, perhaps I should have done..
Its all extremely pathetic nonetheless. A grown man whinging over a wedding invite, unbelievable.
You should never automatically expect to be invited to anyone's wedding. They are very expensive and its not possible to invite everyone to the day ceremony and reception. I've recently been invited to a wedding that I WASN'T expecting to be invited to. I knew these people were getting married but due to costs I was expecting an evening invite only. It was therefore a very pleasant surprise.
Don't make assumptions in future is my advice, though I doubt you'll listen to it.
I hope you have decided not to go at all. It will be a great relief to your "friend" not to have petty, petulant, childish people there taking the shine off their day.
Nah, but he did experiment with a friend some years ago. Nothing at all wrong with that of course, but the way he's going you'd think he's been left at the altar. It was a tongue in cheek post anyway, experience has tought me these overly dramatic threads of his are never worth taking seriously.
Nah, but he did experiment with a friend some years ago. Nothing at all wrong with that of course, but the way he's going you'd think he's been left at the altar. It was a tongue in cheek post anyway, experience has tought me these overly dramatic threads of his are never worth taking seriously.
I think I found the thread you mean, but it also mentions some other really quite bizarre things, which lead me to believe he doesn't post anything that is true.
Jesus, you're really a one, aren't you. YOU want to see them get married, so YOU get pissed off because YOU'RE not invited to the ceremony. If you're a REAL friend, you'll wish THEM well and hope that THEY have a great day. It's not about you, it's about them so stop bitching about it!
At our own wedding, which was a fairly big occasion as it was, we had to make some tough decisions as to who came to the whole day and who only came to the evening. Truth of the matter is that, ultimately, the decisions we ended up making didn't really reflect on how we thought of the people who were only invited to the evening. Some people came to the whole day, not necessarily because they were our favourite people, but because they had further to travel and/or were a long standing friend of a parent, etc.
I've thoroughly appreciated all wedding invites received from whoever and for whichever part of their day.
You said everything I would have said - but much more eloquently.
He's not getting married in church but I don't know where the ceremony is. I think it's at the same place as the reception. It's a civil ceremony so I couldn't really just turn up. He's only sent me the details of the reception and despite asking him, he wont tell me where the ceremony is; although he was quick enough to tell us what they wanted as wedding present. I just feel a bit used.
Awww. You should throw your own pity party for others who want a good moan.
Comments
Losing my group of friends due to one person
I have what you might call a network or group of friends who all go around together. One of them is my best friend and the others I've known since school. A few years ago they got in with this guy who's since formed himself as part of our network of friends. For some unknown reason he has a dislike for me yet I've never done anything to upset him. Every time they go out, their night is dictated by this one person. If HE doesn't want to go somewhere then the whole group have to back down to him. He doesn't drink and so is usually the taxi for them whenever they go out so nobody wants to upset him for fear they will lose their free lifts everywhere.
It got to the stage where I was few up doing the same thing every weekend and suggested going out to other places and doing other things but every time I organise a night out, this person refuses to go. In the end it was upsetting the group and so everyone else sided with him and now I am the one who gets left out of everything.
The rest of the guys are still my friends but I never get invited out with them anymore cos it causes tension with this other friend who's got some kind of problem with me. I've tried asking the others what his problem is but they all say "Don't know." Yet I believe that somebody must know or he must have said something to one of them.
One day I confronted him and asked him why he had such a problem with me and he just denied it and said I was being ridiculous.
It's got to the stage where it's causing problems with my best friend cos he has to decide when he goes out, whether to invite him or invite me and he's been made to feel that he has to choose. I don't know why cos nobody will tell me the truth but because of this I always get left out now and it upsets me that they prefer to choose his company over mine. I think mainly because he drives them everywhere. I think maybe they see me as trying to upset their happy little group but it's not like that. I just feel that there is more to life than sitting in the same pub every weekend when we could be going out other places. Trouble is, whenever they do go other places now, I don't get invited anymore. I just feel like I have been outcast for having a mind of my own and not following people round like sheep.
Youve not been invited for whatever reason, do you really want to go if you were invited now?
My oh was best man at a wedding and i wasnt invited initially because the bride didnt want me there. A week before the wedding the invited me because some others who rsvpd had dropped out so i was invited to take one of their places so they didnt lose money! Needless to say i didnt go. If they didnt want me there then i would have felt uncomfortable going. If your mate invites you now because others are feeling uncomfortable would you really want to go?
Yes, but that was YOUR wedding and YOUR choices - this is THEIR wedding and THEIR choices - you might not like it, you might feel sneaped (excellent word BTW, never heard it before
I did that earlier....one of them was just down right weird...
Well he managed to get over 100 posts out of this one so he didn't do too bad for a change.;)
Jesus, you're really a one, aren't you. YOU want to see them get married, so YOU get pissed off because YOU'RE not invited to the ceremony. If you're a REAL friend, you'll wish THEM well and hope that THEY have a great day. It's not about you, it's about them so stop bitching about it!
At our own wedding, which was a fairly big occasion as it was, we had to make some tough decisions as to who came to the whole day and who only came to the evening. Truth of the matter is that, ultimately, the decisions we ended up making didn't really reflect on how we thought of the people who were only invited to the evening. Some people came to the whole day, not necessarily because they were our favourite people, but because they had further to travel and/or were a long standing friend of a parent, etc.
I've thoroughly appreciated all wedding invites received from whoever and for whichever part of their day.
I have wondered if its all just attention seeking, as he is only responding to a small number of replies..
Haven't looked at his previous threads, perhaps I should have done..
Its all extremely pathetic nonetheless. A grown man whinging over a wedding invite, unbelievable.
Don't make assumptions in future is my advice, though I doubt you'll listen to it.
Awful.
It certainly would be ... if it were true.
Quite.
Huh? Is the wizard gay now?!
NO "GROWN" men don't!
Nah, but he did experiment with a friend some years ago. Nothing at all wrong with that of course, but the way he's going you'd think he's been left at the altar. It was a tongue in cheek post anyway, experience has tought me these overly dramatic threads of his are never worth taking seriously.
I think I found the thread you mean, but it also mentions some other really quite bizarre things, which lead me to believe he doesn't post anything that is true.
You said everything I would have said - but much more eloquently.
Awww. You should throw your own pity party for others who want a good moan.
Get a life!