Why can you understand it in women and gay men but not straight men?
There is this bizarre concept held by a few that long term single men must be gay and in denial.
Not true by the way.
As for myself, seeing the pain and negativity I went through when my parents divorced and also when doing the dating thing and then seeing my mate being cheated on repeatedly, its tarnished and torn my whole view of relationships. Having interests the opposite of everyone else, opposing political views, not being paternal and being socially anxious, shy and introverted has not helped.
Whilst not closing my heart off fully, I will not shed a tear if I never feel the embrace, kiss or passion from another person again.
People can choose to be single nowadays, if they want, just as they can choose to be childfree. Not everyone aspires to the 'married with 2·2 children' lifestyle nowadays, and thank goodness we have more freedom of choice.
I can understand why some women choose to be single.
I can also understand why many gay men are single.
But what I don't understand is why some straight men choose to be single. I do know some of them in their 40s and never married and not intented to (they mostly could find somebody if they make an effort and not having unrealistic expectation). I don't want to ask them why (it's a men thing of not talking that kind of thing). Anyone could thnk of why?
Because some men, like women, prefer an independent lifestyle.
I have known since starting to think about relationships, probably in my early teens that I never want children.
Weighing up the pros and cons, I would rather be single and play video games and drink beer for the rest of my life.
Less selfish than leading someone on, promising things and then splitting up.
I have known since starting to think about relationships, probably in my early teens that I never want children.
Weighing up the pros and cons, I would rather be single and play video games and drink beer for the rest of my life.
With respective, surely childlessness, playing video games and drinking beer are not incompatible with partnership?
With respective, surely childlessness, playing video games and drinking beer are not incompatible with partnership?
Most of the women I have fancied and one that I nearly got together with wanted the home, car and 2 kids scenario.
Maybe there should be a dating website called Real Ale and farting about.com
No one is inhabiting my space except me, no one wants tea in the morning, I only have to make a pot of coffee.The TV stays off,the only unpleasant stains on the porcelain are the ones I made , myself, I don't why stabbing other people's stains with a toilet brush is so repellent, but it is.
Other people's friends do not come around to drink the contents of my fridge and eat all the bread.
With respective, surely childlessness, playing video games and drinking beer are not incompatible with partnership?
Depends on how far you take them. If you're indulging in gaming and drinking casually, that'll be fine. However, if you're hardcore or heavily involved to the detriment of your relationship, that's a bad thing.
For gay men, it is just the reality for them not easy to find someone in a mostly straight world.
Do you know just how many gay men there are in the UK? Thousands upon thousands, gay bars packed full every weekend up and down the country and also online......so I don't understand that remark at all.
I used to go to gay bars [I'm female], and believe me there is no shortage of gay men.
It's not a case of choosing it so much as the fact some of us aren't that good at doing relationship's and social life.
I know because I fit into this category completely. However for those of us who are like that we have to work for it if we want to change that. Relationships and a social life aren't natural to me, I'm 27 and I have neither, and in the former, never have I had a girlfriend embarresingly and I've figured this now a problem. But I know if I work hard at life some of these things might be bit easier.
Depends on how far you take them. If you're indulging in gaming and drinking casually, that'll be fine. However, if you're hardcore or heavily involved to the detriment of your relationship, that's a bad thing.
A relationship would be a detriment to me pleasing myself.(not in that way, missus.)
My brother is single at 51 and will never marry. He is a counterculture type and has never wanted to be tied down to a long term relationship. He is sensible enough to know that he's too irresponsible and flaky to be a husband or parent. I totally agree with him, too. I've had to pick up the pieces too many times to have wished him on any unfortunate woman. He was engaged for a few months when young, and she had enough sense to dump him for his best friend (at the time).
It's not a case of choosing it so much as the fact some of us aren't that good at doing relationships and social life.
Yep, that's it really.
If someone wants to share their life with me, they have been extremely tardy in coming forward, to me, that's a clue that no-one is attracted to me. I can understand that, and accept it with no negative feeling..
I have no problem with the fact that I'll die alone with no-one to mourn my passing.
It's hard to meet people in what passes for a society these days, beyond university age.
Then there are compromises of lifestyle.
Then there are complex personalities, oddly-shaped jigsaw pieces who don't work fit well with your 'average', whatever that might be.
I also think many people see the world highly subjectively to make it more bearable, or get the most out of it, and another person can be an intrusion on this personal world.
Comments
Because they are told to.
Not true by the way.
As for myself, seeing the pain and negativity I went through when my parents divorced and also when doing the dating thing and then seeing my mate being cheated on repeatedly, its tarnished and torn my whole view of relationships. Having interests the opposite of everyone else, opposing political views, not being paternal and being socially anxious, shy and introverted has not helped.
Whilst not closing my heart off fully, I will not shed a tear if I never feel the embrace, kiss or passion from another person again.
Haha its actually the style of Dance that I am learning
By Jove, I think he's got it! OP doesn't understand that, though.
Personally, I didn't really want to be single at 41 but my girlfriend had other ideas.
Or just open a new account.
Because some men, like women, prefer an independent lifestyle.
Weighing up the pros and cons, I would rather be single and play video games and drink beer for the rest of my life.
Less selfish than leading someone on, promising things and then splitting up.
With respective, surely childlessness, playing video games and drinking beer are not incompatible with partnership?
Most of the women I have fancied and one that I nearly got together with wanted the home, car and 2 kids scenario.
Maybe there should be a dating website called Real Ale and farting about.com
No one is inhabiting my space except me, no one wants tea in the morning, I only have to make a pot of coffee.The TV stays off,the only unpleasant stains on the porcelain are the ones I made , myself, I don't why stabbing other people's stains with a toilet brush is so repellent, but it is.
Other people's friends do not come around to drink the contents of my fridge and eat all the bread.
What's not to like?
(Family Guy fans might get that reference)
Do you know just how many gay men there are in the UK? Thousands upon thousands, gay bars packed full every weekend up and down the country and also online......so I don't understand that remark at all.
I used to go to gay bars [I'm female], and believe me there is no shortage of gay men.
(joke?)
I know because I fit into this category completely. However for those of us who are like that we have to work for it if we want to change that. Relationships and a social life aren't natural to me, I'm 27 and I have neither, and in the former, never have I had a girlfriend embarresingly and I've figured this now a problem. But I know if I work hard at life some of these things might be bit easier.
A relationship would be a detriment to me pleasing myself.(not in that way, missus.)
I've seen what a lifetime of bickering , arguments and hassle does to people . It's not for me .
Besides no woman can understand me anyway so what's the point
Yep, that's it really.
If someone wants to share their life with me, they have been extremely tardy in coming forward, to me, that's a clue that no-one is attracted to me. I can understand that, and accept it with no negative feeling..
I have no problem with the fact that I'll die alone with no-one to mourn my passing.
Then there are compromises of lifestyle.
Then there are complex personalities, oddly-shaped jigsaw pieces who don't work fit well with your 'average', whatever that might be.
I also think many people see the world highly subjectively to make it more bearable, or get the most out of it, and another person can be an intrusion on this personal world.
Both me and my wife do what we want, when we want (within reason). Not all women are control freaks.