A question for all the attractive ladies (I'm sure there are lots reading this thread); most sites have an icebreaker feature when you can "send a smile" or just indicate some kind of interest.
I've got into the habit of using these, rather than messaging ladies simply because it seems a safer way of "testing the water" than sending a long unsolicited email.
Is this the best way to do things though? Do you ignore these kind of (lazy?) methods, even if the guy's photo is reasonably appealing? Would an email be more appreciated?
A question for all the attractive ladies (I'm sure there are lots reading this thread); most sites have an icebreaker feature when you can "send a smile" or just indicate some kind of interest.
I've got into the habit of using these, rather than messaging ladies simply because it seems a safer way of "testing the water" than sending a long unsolicited email.
Is this the best way to do things though? Do you ignore these kind of (lazy?) methods, even if the guy's photo is reasonably appealing? Would an email be more appreciated?
I'll be cheeky enough to respond regardless of attractiveness
I think the overwhelming response will be - e-mail. Those "wink" type features are extremely annoying, in fact as someone's profile I saw the other day said, "it's no use getting a "would like to meet" from Betty in Bedford when you live in Bradford". They can come across as a bit cowardly - a real message is so much better and more human and indicates that you're actually up for talking, and dating.
Just my opinion but those I know from this thread outside of this thread are overwhelmingly opposed to those types of contact, and have often ignored men because of it. I always find too I get lots of those "would like to meet"/winks/"has added you as a favourite" but they never follow through with any messages. And if I'm honest, I don't want them to if they feel they can't communicate even with a simple "hi".
I'll be cheeky enough to respond regardless of attractiveness
I think the overwhelming response will be - e-mail. Those "wink" type features are extremely annoying, in fact as someone's profile I saw the other day said, "it's no use getting a "would like to meet" from Betty in Bedford when you live in Bradford". They can come across as a bit cowardly - a real message is so much better and more human and indicates that you're actually up for talking, and dating.
Just my opinion but those I know from this thread outside of this thread are overwhelmingly opposed to those types of contact, and have often ignored men because of it. I always find too I get lots of those "would like to meet"/winks/"has added you as a favourite" but they never follow through with any messages. And if I'm honest, I don't want them to if they feel they can't communicate even with a simple "hi".
MPG I think the wink feature works so much better for women though as it indicates interest in a guy and he can still make the "first" move
blokes probably do it hoping they get a wink back to at least indicate that the woman would be interested in at least talking to him and not just ignore the message
I mean rejection is part and parcel of the dating world and you do need thick skin especially as a guy after sending umpteen messages and not getting a reply especially if you're like me and put some thought and effort into a message rather than just a simple hi
I'm just get annoyed that girls seem to think that all men want slim women when it blatantly isn't true
I'm not saying that thin people aren't attractive because obviously some are but in the same way curvy large woman can be attractive
I'll apologise if my coat hanger remark offended anyone as that really wasn't my intent
And just for balance isn't there a thread here somewhere that asks of we feel sorry for fat overweight people ?
I don't think you did intend to cause offence, but there is a general trend in society to think it's okay to criticise thin people but not large ones (although of course the latter does happen too).
I used to be a very slim size 8 throughout my late teens and early 20's and people criticised my weight on a regular basis (calling me names, telling me to eat more doughnuts etc.) which was very hurtful. If I got upset, people would tell me to take the abuse as a compliment. ^_^
I'm now a size 12 but I wouldn't consider myself anymore curvy. Curves (big chest and hips and a small waist) are your genetically determined body shape - while fat has some contribution, it is not as dramatic as people think. So a large person is not necessarily curvy, unless the curves you are talking about are rolls of fat on the tummy.
I don't think you did intend to cause offence, but there is a general trend in society to think it's okay to criticise thin people but not large ones (although of course the latter does happen too).
I used to be a very slim size 8 throughout my late teens and early 20's and people criticised my weight on a regular basis (calling me names, telling me to eat more doughnuts etc.) which was very hurtful. If I got upset, people would tell me to take the abuse as a compliment. ^_^
I'm now a size 12 but I wouldn't consider myself anymore curvy. Curves (big chest and hips and a small waist) are your genetically determined body shape - while fat has some contribution, it is not as dramatic as people think. So a large person is not necessarily curvy, unless the curves you are talking about are rolls of fat on the tummy.
Hey Shappy!
The world loves a cliche eh?
Everyone "knows" thin women are shrews and fat women are jolly. I can't help but think that if more people thought about people rather than people's bodies, the world would be a happier place with fewer single people in it!
Will you go and check out my profile text on the other thread? let me know what you think? I'd appreciate your POV.
When I rejoin the online dating game next month, its teh text I'm intending to use, its slightly modified over the current text on my profiles
I've read your profile on the other thread and it comes across well - very you (or the you I know from this thread, at least)!
It's good that you've mentioned specific interests like languages and theatre, and not just listed them but explained them a bit and presented them in a humourous way. The profile length is also good - detailed enough to give an idea of yourself, but not too long that it bores.
I've read your profile on the other thread and it comes across well - very you (or the you I know from this thread, at least)!
It's good that you've mentioned specific interests like languages and theatre, and not just listed them but explained them a bit and presented them in a humourous way. The profile length is also good - detailed enough to give an idea of yourself, but not too long that it bores.
Thank you... another thumbs up then . Well I guess, I have to get it out in the real world then.
I don't think you did intend to cause offence, but there is a general trend in society to think it's okay to criticise thin people but not large ones (although of course the latter does happen too).
I used to be a very slim size 8 throughout my late teens and early 20's and people criticised my weight on a regular basis (calling me names, telling me to eat more doughnuts etc.) which was very hurtful. If I got upset, people would tell me to take the abuse as a compliment. ^_^
I'm now a size 12 but I wouldn't consider myself anymore curvy. Curves (big chest and hips and a small waist) are your genetically determined body shape - while fat has some contribution, it is not as dramatic as people think. So a large person is not necessarily curvy, unless the curves you are talking about are rolls of fat on the tummy.
no I don't mean rolls of fat
my "ideal" ( when I say ideal I mean girls I have dated ) have all been pretty much between a 10-14 (so they have told me) I just tend to like my women to have a little meat to them that's not to say I don't find slim women attractive I do
I basically think its just a word to classify someone's body shape be they thin, athletic ,curvy , chubby, whatever
in all honesty how someone looks doesn't bother me as long as they are happy and confident in themselves that's what makes someone sexy and attractive IMO
my "ideal" ( when I say ideal I mean girls I have dated ) have all been pretty much between a 10-14 (so they have told me) I just tend to like my women to have a little meat to them that's not to say I don't find slim women attractive I do
I basically think its just a word to classify someone's body shape be they thin, athletic ,curvy , chubby, whatever
in all honesty how someone looks doesn't bother me as long as they are happy and confident in themselves that's what makes someone sexy and attractive IMO
Why do people bother with online dating? It really is pointless unless you just want a quick fumble under the sheets. It's unlikely you will meet the ideal guy/girl online.
Why do people bother with online dating? It really is pointless unless you just want a quick fumble under the sheets. It's unlikely you will meet the ideal guy/girl online.
Why do people bother with online dating? It really is pointless unless you just want a quick fumble under the sheets. It's unlikely you will meet the ideal guy/girl online.
this coming from Mr Daygamer (id use a roll eyes and a laughing hysterically smileys if they had one )
A question for all the attractive ladies (I'm sure there are lots reading this thread); most sites have an icebreaker feature when you can "send a smile" or just indicate some kind of interest.
I've got into the habit of using these, rather than messaging ladies simply because it seems a safer way of "testing the water" than sending a long unsolicited email.
Is this the best way to do things though? Do you ignore these kind of (lazy?) methods, even if the guy's photo is reasonably appealing? Would an email be more appreciated?
An email is far better in my opinion.
I get many "would like to meet you" pokes but I do tend to see them as "too cowardly to write a proper message".
Or " lets poke as many women and hope one responds" without making an effort.
The reason being is that on POF, if someone has clicked on "would like to meet you", then it means the only way the other person can respond is to send a message. Not everyone likes to be the initiator (me for one).
Why do people bother with online dating? It really is pointless unless you just want a quick fumble under the sheets. It's unlikely you will meet the ideal guy/girl online.
Just because you've had no luck it doesn't make it pointless.
Bearing in mind just how many people have met their ideal partners online, looks like the problem could be you.
Why do people bother with online dating? It really is pointless unless you just want a quick fumble under the sheets. It's unlikely you will meet the ideal guy/girl online.
I find it really sad that your real life is so pathetic and empty you have continually troll on these forums. Why not find a hobby then you may actually have something positive to fill your days.:)
I thought I'd give this online dating thing another go. I tried it last year briefly, went on one date and gave up. Last year I was a little worried about my appearance so I think the problem was a lack of confidence on my part. I was overweight and pretty unfit. Since then I've exercised my backside off, lost a ton of weight and toned up a lot. Female friends of mine tell me I look good now, so that's a bit of a confidence booster. Sadly they are all attached already
I have to tone down my profile though. I have a bit of a quirky personality and I think that might be a put off.
I find it really sad that your real life is so pathetic and empty you have continually troll on these forums. Why not find a hobby then you may actually have something positive to fill your days.:)
What makes you think I'm trolling? I'm just telling the truth. Most people on here seem to struggle meeting the opposite sex online. If online dating is so good, why do people keep going back to it after they meet someone off of it?
What makes you think I'm trolling? I'm just telling the truth. Most people on here seem to struggle meeting the opposite sex online. If online dating is so good, why do people keep going back to it after they meet someone off of it?
you clearly can't read.... most people on here don't struggle to meet people online, most people on here struggle to meet someone they want to spend more time with.
A big difference that you have failed to grasp (although you fall into the latter category obviously) and of course, this is no difference from meeting people in the more traditional way.
Now be a good chap and crawl back under your bridge. ;-)
Unless of course you have something constructive to add? No? thought so. ;-)
I get many "would like to meet you" pokes but I do tend to see them as "too cowardly to write a proper message".
Or " lets poke as many women and hope one responds" without making an effort.
The reason being is that on POF, if someone has clicked on "would like to meet you", then it means the only way the other person can respond is to send a message. Not everyone likes to be the initiator (me for one).
I agree with this. Although it's vaguely flattering to get a wink, I'd rather get a message, even if it's just a sentence or two, and I generally reply. As long as it's not txt spk, of course Or if it's the bloke with the balloon fetish, or the man into polyamory. They don't get a reply.
you clearly can't read.... most people on here don't struggle to meet people online, most people on here struggle to meet someone they want to spend more time with.
A big difference that you have failed to grasp (although you fall into the latter category obviously) and of course, this is no difference from meeting people in the more traditional way.
Now be a good chap and crawl back under your bridge. ;-)
Unless of course you have something constructive to add? No? thought so. ;-)
I would waste your breath justabloke, he does it on virtually every thread!!
What makes you think I'm trolling? I'm just telling the truth. Most people on here seem to struggle meeting the opposite sex online. If online dating is so good, why do people keep going back to it after they meet someone off of it?
You might not be trolling, but what are you actually adding to this thread beyond negativity? We're here to discuss this subject, you're here to waste your own time.
Just because this is a thread about internet dating, and I post on it a lot, as I find it - and the experiences of others on this thread - a strangely fascinating and unnecessarily tedious experience (plus I'm also researching and writing a book about it presently) doesn't mean it's the dominant area of my life. Far from it, in fact. However what else is this thread about? I'm fine with advice as long as it's constructive & fairly communicated in a positive manner, yours isn't, it just reads as rather vindictive, negative and nasty. There's far too much of this on the forums lately with other posters and I'm not tolerating it.
My post wasn't vindictive or nasty. If I wrote what you did I would have people ripping me to shreds on here, but you seem to think you have a teflon coating and nobody can offer any advice if you don't happen to agree with it.
I do think you are obsessing over it a bit, but then again what do I know, I'm just someone who's never had a problem getting a bloke ;-)
Just because this is a thread about internet dating, and I post on it a lot, as I find it - and the experiences of others on this thread - a strangely fascinating and unnecessarily tedious experience (plus I'm also researching and writing a book about it presently) doesn't mean it's the dominant area of my life. Far from it, in fact. However what else is this thread about? I'm fine with advice as long as it's constructive & fairly communicated in a positive manner, yours isn't, it just reads as rather vindictive, negative and nasty. There's far too much of this on the forums lately with other posters and I'm not tolerating it.
My post wasn't vindictive or nasty. If I wrote what you did I would have people ripping me to shreds on here, but you seem to think you have a teflon coating and nobody can offer any advice if you don't happen to agree with it.
I do think you are obsessing over it a bit, but then again what do I know, I'm just someone who's never had a problem getting a bloke ;-)
To be fair to MissPinotGrigio, I do not think she has problems getting a bloke, from her posts I have read. I just think she isn't attracting the right kind of bloke, from the impression I get. Two different things altogether.
Just because this is a thread about internet dating, and I post on it a lot, as I find it - and the experiences of others on this thread - a strangely fascinating and unnecessarily tedious experience (plus I'm also researching and writing a book about it presently) doesn't mean it's the dominant area of my life. Far from it, in fact. However what else is this thread about? I'm fine with advice as long as it's constructive & fairly communicated in a positive manner, yours isn't, it just reads as rather vindictive, negative and nasty. There's far too much of this on the forums lately with other posters and I'm not tolerating it.
My post wasn't vindictive or nasty. If I wrote what you did I would have people ripping me to shreds on here, but you seem to think you have a teflon coating and nobody can offer any advice if you don't happen to agree with it.
I do think you are obsessing over it a bit, but then again what do I know, I'm just someone who's never had a problem getting a bloke ;-)
Thus proving the point I've always made - there's a lot of men with bad taste out there
I do take advice, but I tend to take it from people who are positive, non-conceited, friendly, charming and intelligent and have a fair view of the world. The day I ever make a comment like that, please kill me!
Comments
I've got into the habit of using these, rather than messaging ladies simply because it seems a safer way of "testing the water" than sending a long unsolicited email.
Is this the best way to do things though? Do you ignore these kind of (lazy?) methods, even if the guy's photo is reasonably appealing? Would an email be more appreciated?
I'll be cheeky enough to respond regardless of attractiveness
I think the overwhelming response will be - e-mail. Those "wink" type features are extremely annoying, in fact as someone's profile I saw the other day said, "it's no use getting a "would like to meet" from Betty in Bedford when you live in Bradford". They can come across as a bit cowardly - a real message is so much better and more human and indicates that you're actually up for talking, and dating.
Just my opinion but those I know from this thread outside of this thread are overwhelmingly opposed to those types of contact, and have often ignored men because of it. I always find too I get lots of those "would like to meet"/winks/"has added you as a favourite" but they never follow through with any messages. And if I'm honest, I don't want them to if they feel they can't communicate even with a simple "hi".
MPG I think the wink feature works so much better for women though as it indicates interest in a guy and he can still make the "first" move
blokes probably do it hoping they get a wink back to at least indicate that the woman would be interested in at least talking to him and not just ignore the message
I mean rejection is part and parcel of the dating world and you do need thick skin especially as a guy after sending umpteen messages and not getting a reply especially if you're like me and put some thought and effort into a message rather than just a simple hi
I don't think you did intend to cause offence, but there is a general trend in society to think it's okay to criticise thin people but not large ones (although of course the latter does happen too).
I used to be a very slim size 8 throughout my late teens and early 20's and people criticised my weight on a regular basis (calling me names, telling me to eat more doughnuts etc.) which was very hurtful. If I got upset, people would tell me to take the abuse as a compliment. ^_^
I'm now a size 12 but I wouldn't consider myself anymore curvy. Curves (big chest and hips and a small waist) are your genetically determined body shape - while fat has some contribution, it is not as dramatic as people think. So a large person is not necessarily curvy, unless the curves you are talking about are rolls of fat on the tummy.
Hey Shappy!
The world loves a cliche eh?
Everyone "knows" thin women are shrews and fat women are jolly. I can't help but think that if more people thought about people rather than people's bodies, the world would be a happier place with fewer single people in it!
Will you go and check out my profile text on the other thread? let me know what you think?
When I rejoin the online dating game next month, its teh text I'm intending to use, its slightly modified over the current text on my profiles
I've read your profile on the other thread and it comes across well - very you (or the you I know from this thread, at least)!
It's good that you've mentioned specific interests like languages and theatre, and not just listed them but explained them a bit and presented them in a humourous way. The profile length is also good - detailed enough to give an idea of yourself, but not too long that it bores.
Thank you... another thumbs up then
no I don't mean rolls of fat
my "ideal" ( when I say ideal I mean girls I have dated ) have all been pretty much between a 10-14 (so they have told me) I just tend to like my women to have a little meat to them that's not to say I don't find slim women attractive I do
I basically think its just a word to classify someone's body shape be they thin, athletic ,curvy , chubby, whatever
in all honesty how someone looks doesn't bother me as long as they are happy and confident in themselves that's what makes someone sexy and attractive IMO
BIB : Plus one for this....
isn't your bridge missing you? ;-)
this coming from Mr Daygamer (id use a roll eyes and a laughing hysterically smileys if they had one )
An email is far better in my opinion.
I get many "would like to meet you" pokes but I do tend to see them as "too cowardly to write a proper message".
Or " lets poke as many women and hope one responds" without making an effort.
The reason being is that on POF, if someone has clicked on "would like to meet you", then it means the only way the other person can respond is to send a message. Not everyone likes to be the initiator (me for one).
Just because you've had no luck it doesn't make it pointless.
Bearing in mind just how many people have met their ideal partners online, looks like the problem could be you.
I find it really sad that your real life is so pathetic and empty you have continually troll on these forums. Why not find a hobby then you may actually have something positive to fill your days.:)
I have to tone down my profile though. I have a bit of a quirky personality and I think that might be a put off.
Yep, sounds like it. How many people is that?
What makes you think I'm trolling? I'm just telling the truth. Most people on here seem to struggle meeting the opposite sex online. If online dating is so good, why do people keep going back to it after they meet someone off of it?
you clearly can't read.... most people on here don't struggle to meet people online, most people on here struggle to meet someone they want to spend more time with.
A big difference that you have failed to grasp (although you fall into the latter category obviously) and of course, this is no difference from meeting people in the more traditional way.
Now be a good chap and crawl back under your bridge. ;-)
Unless of course you have something constructive to add? No? thought so. ;-)
I would waste your breath justabloke, he does it on virtually every thread!!
You might not be trolling, but what are you actually adding to this thread beyond negativity? We're here to discuss this subject, you're here to waste your own time.