My OH and I have a little joke about our weight,.
He says he would dump me if I put on weight.
I say it is a good job I am not as shallow as him as he would have been gone a long time ago ;-)
I encourage my OH to lose weight as I want him to be healthy.
I have tried to encourage him in lots of ways, but he seems a lost cause.
I bet all the women who are outraged at this would be the first to tell their boyfriends/husbands they are getting too fat.
There are too much double standards when it comes to gender and weight.
I dont think its ever been an issue with anyone Ive dated, but I remember one ex bf who gave me a very hard time about my weight when I was about 9 stones, I saw him years later in a pub in town and he had put on a lot of weight, he was probably around 20 stones, having been about 12 when we were dating.
Hes lost the weight, Ive seen him in the passing since. Having had weight issues myself, Im probably quite sensitive to other peoples feelings, but I do know people in my social circle who are big and when I say big I mean morbidly obese, very much so and the impression they give is that they are happy and their extra weight doesnt bother them.
However, you are trying to lose weight at the moment and your OH is supporting you in this, even cooking your meals for you.
If your OH is slim which I believe he is then you have never been in the position where someone has gained several stones.
You might feel differently if he did. The same way that he might have a preference in the way you look.
What if it wasn't weight but disfigured or maimed in a terrorist attack? Basing love on looks would seem a bit shallow then. Weight seems to be the one thing that's acceptable to judge people by.
What if it wasn't weight but disfigured or maimed in a terrorist attack? Basing love on looks would seem a bit shallow then. Weight seems to be the one thing that's acceptable to judge people by.
What if it wasn't weight but disfigured or maimed in a terrorist attack? Basing love on looks would seem a bit shallow then. Weight seems to be the one thing that's acceptable to judge people by.
I think as someone already said on here that 'love' and 'sexual attraction' are not the same.
It can appear as terribly shallow I know.
My OH was 2 stone heavier than he is now when I married him, I loved him and fancied him then.
He lost the weight when got together gradually over the first two years, but for health reasons and for how he looks I think he should lose more now.
What if it wasn't weight but disfigured or maimed in a terrorist attack? Basing love on looks would seem a bit shallow then. Weight seems to be the one thing that's acceptable to judge people by.
To be honest, given that as I said Ive had weight issues for a long time and been judged on it by people and Im talking way back, even when I was 9 stones I still had people refer to me as fat, because Im pear shaped, the subject is something I would tread carefully with, because I know some people are really sensitive.
It can go both ways, I know people who are slim and get nothing but stick because they dont put weight on easily.
As for being disfigured, some couples would get through that and have as strong a relationship as before, others wouldn't, very much depend on the people involved.
But no it doesn't, how I dress is part of who I am, my personality is very tom boyish
He's been up and down in weight
I didn't feel differently
How much weight? Several stones?
The thing is, just because you didnt feel differently, doesnt mean that someone else wouldnt or that if you had another partner, they might feel stronger about you putting weight on than he does.
Is it? Mine's wasn't. I was put on medication and two months later was almost three stones heavier, no change in diet. It's listed as a side effect of the medication.
What if it wasn't weight but disfigured or maimed in a terrorist attack? Basing love on looks would seem a bit shallow then. Weight seems to be the one thing that's acceptable to judge people by.
Yes, most people still see obesity as self-inflicted and a mere case of laziness, greed, and lack of willpower. Now before anyone jumps all over me, all I'm saying is more and more evidence is coming to light that it's not so simple. There are other things going on: genetics, hormones, conditioning, etc. For those who have never been overweight, it's probably not easy for them to consider other possibilities outside the realm of 'eat less move more'. For those who have been overweight and lost it, that's fantastic, but everyone's different and what worked for you may not work for someone else.
I think it's important to provide support for those who want to lose weight, and possibly be less judgmental. Finding out why someone is overeating is just as important as nutritional advice.
The thing is, just because you didnt feel differently, doesnt mean that someone else wouldnt or that if you had another partner, they might feel stronger about you putting weight on than he does.
Define several stone
People can feel the way they want I'm not disputing that, if I had another partner who had a problem with my weight then that's his problem and he's out the door
People can feel the way they want I'm not disputing that, if I had another partner who had a problem with my weight then that's his problem and he's out the door
It's you who needs to clarify, when you said his weight has been up and down, you havent said by how much
Is it? Mine's wasn't. I was put on medication and two months later was almost three stones heavier, no change in diet. It's listed as a side effect of the medication.
For most people yes it is preventable, wouldn't you agree?
Medication can change your metabolism yes, but you adjust your diet accordingly. I have taken anti-depressants before and also steroids for my colitis, both can make you gain weight, however I changed my diet and did more cardio to help prevent weight gain. Anyhow even if you have short term weight gain, long term you can lose it.
People have the right to be happy at whatever size they are. Im sure some people are overweight and don't give a hoot about being so. Others will be miserable.
When I lost weight last year (and this) I lost it for me, I dont have a partner so I didnt have someone nagging me (or not as the case may be) to lose it.
But I had to have the motivation to get the weight off. I dont know how I would have felt if someone had said to me, you need to lose weight, but I would hardly have been in the position to turn around and say no I dont, because I did.
And from comments in the article, it seems like the woman in this story was miserable and depressed because she was overweight, she was ready to lose it.
Its a tough call, because some husbands and wives will be very concerned about a spouse needing to lose weight, for their healths sake if nothing else.
Comments
He says he would dump me if I put on weight.
I say it is a good job I am not as shallow as him as he would have been gone a long time ago ;-)
I encourage my OH to lose weight as I want him to be healthy.
I have tried to encourage him in lots of ways, but he seems a lost cause.
Your looks determine your personality? Seems a bit shallow.
I dont think its ever been an issue with anyone Ive dated, but I remember one ex bf who gave me a very hard time about my weight when I was about 9 stones, I saw him years later in a pub in town and he had put on a lot of weight, he was probably around 20 stones, having been about 12 when we were dating.
Hes lost the weight, Ive seen him in the passing since. Having had weight issues myself, Im probably quite sensitive to other peoples feelings, but I do know people in my social circle who are big and when I say big I mean morbidly obese, very much so and the impression they give is that they are happy and their extra weight doesnt bother them.
However, you are trying to lose weight at the moment and your OH is supporting you in this, even cooking your meals for you.
If your OH is slim which I believe he is then you have never been in the position where someone has gained several stones.
You might feel differently if he did. The same way that he might have a preference in the way you look.
What if it wasn't weight but disfigured or maimed in a terrorist attack? Basing love on looks would seem a bit shallow then. Weight seems to be the one thing that's acceptable to judge people by.
One is preventable, one isn't.
I think as someone already said on here that 'love' and 'sexual attraction' are not the same.
It can appear as terribly shallow I know.
My OH was 2 stone heavier than he is now when I married him, I loved him and fancied him then.
He lost the weight when got together gradually over the first two years, but for health reasons and for how he looks I think he should lose more now.
To be honest, given that as I said Ive had weight issues for a long time and been judged on it by people and Im talking way back, even when I was 9 stones I still had people refer to me as fat, because Im pear shaped, the subject is something I would tread carefully with, because I know some people are really sensitive.
It can go both ways, I know people who are slim and get nothing but stick because they dont put weight on easily.
As for being disfigured, some couples would get through that and have as strong a relationship as before, others wouldn't, very much depend on the people involved.
Lol, that coming from you is funny
But no it doesn't, how I dress is part of who I am, my personality is very tom boyish
He's been up and down in weight
I didn't feel differently
Why is that funny coming from me?
How much weight? Several stones?
The thing is, just because you didnt feel differently, doesnt mean that someone else wouldnt or that if you had another partner, they might feel stronger about you putting weight on than he does.
Is it? Mine's wasn't. I was put on medication and two months later was almost three stones heavier, no change in diet. It's listed as a side effect of the medication.
Yes, most people still see obesity as self-inflicted and a mere case of laziness, greed, and lack of willpower. Now before anyone jumps all over me, all I'm saying is more and more evidence is coming to light that it's not so simple. There are other things going on: genetics, hormones, conditioning, etc. For those who have never been overweight, it's probably not easy for them to consider other possibilities outside the realm of 'eat less move more'. For those who have been overweight and lost it, that's fantastic, but everyone's different and what worked for you may not work for someone else.
I think it's important to provide support for those who want to lose weight, and possibly be less judgmental. Finding out why someone is overeating is just as important as nutritional advice.
My style of dressing isn't girlie. But there are times when casual clothes aren't appropriate and then I'll make more of an effort than day to day.
Define several stone
People can feel the way they want I'm not disputing that, if I had another partner who had a problem with my weight then that's his problem and he's out the door
I would never dress girly no matter the occasion
It's you who needs to clarify, when you said his weight has been up and down, you havent said by how much
For most people yes it is preventable, wouldn't you agree?
Medication can change your metabolism yes, but you adjust your diet accordingly. I have taken anti-depressants before and also steroids for my colitis, both can make you gain weight, however I changed my diet and did more cardio to help prevent weight gain. Anyhow even if you have short term weight gain, long term you can lose it.
But you might dress occasion appropriate yes?
Weddings, funerals etc
Four and a half stone between his lightest and his heaviest
Oh yes but it would be in my style
When I lost weight last year (and this) I lost it for me, I dont have a partner so I didnt have someone nagging me (or not as the case may be) to lose it.
But I had to have the motivation to get the weight off. I dont know how I would have felt if someone had said to me, you need to lose weight, but I would hardly have been in the position to turn around and say no I dont, because I did.
And from comments in the article, it seems like the woman in this story was miserable and depressed because she was overweight, she was ready to lose it.
Its a tough call, because some husbands and wives will be very concerned about a spouse needing to lose weight, for their healths sake if nothing else.
Saying I seem a bit shallow
Equating looks to personality does seem a little shallow to me.
I didn't to that, they are different things
My personality is tomboyish, my looks reflect that
What is tomboyish? You act and dress like a man?